mc5 - ... so help me God.

The parcel shelf in John Prescott's 2nd Jag is made from strips of human skin flayed from Peter Mandelson's back using a steel whip.

I invented the letter ð, but only the Icelanders were brave enough to use it.

Dutch was invented by an Austrian chef with a severe head-cold.

I recently bent a barman's ear but a panel beater has sorted all that out.

Bent barman's ears are an aphrodisiac, recently popularised by Sex In The City.