mc5 - ... so help me God.

Smeg is not the name of a refrigerator. Smegma is my mother's name.

Kenneth Horne was followed at an awkward distance by his good friends Julian and Sandy.

Sleep is a myth invented by the chinese.

Chinese consists of three vowels, a consanont and half a dipthong.

I am the lovechild of a one-night stand between William Hague and Bonnie Langford.

Half a dipthong is a pthong, which I have written a song about under the pseudonym Psisqo.

I once mistook a Mexican standoff with a Mexican standup and laughed and laughed...

Thos .... I expect you're quite dead now.

It is tomorrow.

Salads aren't.

Dalmatians are forever.

Forever is an awfully short time.

Ostriches aren't funny.