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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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Beagle 2 has been trying to contact earth since it landed on Christmas Day, but the professor in charge forgot to turn the volume up on his computer.
Beethoven had perfect hearing, but had too much fun saying,' What????' in a very loud voice and making people repeat really tricky sentences.
St Patrick did not chase all the snakes from Ireland. He missed four of them who were hiding in a gooseberry bush. They have been breeding ever since, and now form an army 30,000 which is preparing to take over, just as soon as they can figure out how to work an Uzi with no opposable thumb.
I have not had any caffeine at all today.
Lol, Angus, look at the last few days' worth of stuff. You're the only one to express such concerns.
[Tuj] Arrogance is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
[ZK] No, that is of course zero-gravity accountancy.
Meanwhile, MC posters are turning more and more apathetic. A police spokesman said "Wibble."
[Angus] Have the snakes talked with Reverend Paisley?
The good Rev. once attempted to find his (snake) in order that it might act as an interpreter. This was unsuccessful as it seemed to have p****d off. ... I know, I know .... coat!
Suetonius ate gerbils.
Karaoke is boring and not remotely scary to engage in when all you've been drinking all night is J2O.
Marmite contains weevils, but only Grade A weevils.
Tiramisu used to be a form of punishment in the West Indes. The Italians stole the basic idea, added cocoa powder and sold it as a dessert. The West Indians are now thoroughly peeved for not patenting the concept, and are considering detonating an eclair bomb at the Medittaranean.
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