"The worm has turned" is a reference to mediæval pornographic literature in which... well, suffice it to say that the word "worm" should not be taken literally.

"The tern has wormed" is an extract from an ancient Egyptian sourcebook of vetinary science and ornithology, although everyone is very confused as to whether this was a particularly clever bird in question or if it is just a mistranslation.

The Wyrm has turds.

I have not had any Guinness tonight. None whatsoever.

Guinness is not good.

Irish bars in New York, in an effort to dispel the common American stereotype that all Irishmen are consistently drunk, have all sold out to Starbucks.

Starbucks has opened a branch at Thule Air Base, Greenland.

All Irish bars in Sydney called 'Kelts', 'O'Flaherty's', 'Maggie Maguire' and the like are perfect reproductions of real Irish establishments.

After pissing off most of the MC regulars, a certain poster now in exile is now known as "Googolplex The Freezing Balancing Goat From Godthäb".

Further to the foregoing, they all serve a wonderful coffee when you are inclined.

I'm never inclined. I tend to right angles.

Dr Q is never, ever obtuse.

I'm acute Angle.

Most contibutors to this site do not fish for compliments ... ;-)

Nor do we delight in spotting typos ;)

I don't really think I'd like to eat piping hot dumpling stew followed by plum duff with fresh cream custard, oh no.

I am not overly fond of apples.

I have a lot of things that don't match, so I regularly go fishing for complements.

I got a compliment the other day. It was a whopper! Mind you, you should have seen the size of the one that got away....

Since I lost weight, I've been wondering why people keep giving me fish.

I am not the least bit concerned about our zoological friend's mentality.

Beagle 2 has been trying to contact earth since it landed on Christmas Day, but the professor in charge forgot to turn the volume up on his computer.

Beethoven had perfect hearing, but had too much fun saying,' What????' in a very loud voice and making people repeat really tricky sentences.

St Patrick did not chase all the snakes from Ireland. He missed four of them who were hiding in a gooseberry bush. They have been breeding ever since, and now form an army 30,000 which is preparing to take over, just as soon as they can figure out how to work an Uzi with no opposable thumb.

I have not had any caffeine at all today.