The Hebrides were one of many sites of a giant, ancient Atlantan theme park empire. Once the careless fools lost the city, which went down in legend, the parks' attractions were gradually dismantled and their origins became confused (as with the pronunciation of their names). Some features are actually still in existence today - the giant multi-faceted Slides in Egypt (later used for storage), the entrances to the Hall of Mirrors on Salisbury Plain, some of the original models from the Ghost Train on Easter Island, and the World's Largest Hot Tub in Arizona, to name but a few.
Regrettably, ZK, Australia falls into the same stew pot. Full of backward pickpockets and strange beings imported from far and wide it reflects the utter decadance of years and empires past. Most of it has fallen into disrepair; Ayres Rock no longer does, the Great Barrier Reef hasn't tied a knot in years, Darwin grew but has never evolved, Broome seems to survive Nature's vagaries and refuses to be swept away, the Sunshine Coast is where it rains all the time these days, the Central Coast simply isn't, Newcastle doesn't even have an old one (I assume someone nicked it in the interim) and, just to prove the point, Jackson Bay Port is no longer available. Sheesh!
I apologise for the falling sea-levels worldwide. I was swimming in North Norfolk and accidentally pulled out the plug with my foot. By the time I could invent the equipment that enabled me to put it back, we had lost rather a lot of water, although somewhat fortunately, I think that it had permanently extinguished Mount Vesuvius.
British law requires that all leaseholders making over one pound a year must gift the Crown with two sheep, three dogs or a cow every February 29th. While the law has not been enacted of late, Gordon Brown is considering reintroducing it.
I have not been re-reading my previous threads and worrying that I don't remember posting some of them. This would seem to indicate that my sleep patterns are currently a model to all.
I am devastated that tuition fees are being implemented following my departure from university. < / lie > (Well I kinda should be, I've got 2 younger sisters to go yet) < l i e >
Lemon trees are part of an extraterrestrial race that came to earth in search of water. Unfortunately they weren't banking on the human race finding squeezing their reproductive organs and adding sugar quite so tasty. After a long conference on the Moon they decided that it was a necessary sacrifice if it ensured the contribution that Men bring to the survival of their kind in effortless replanting, watering, feeding etc on their part. Every once in a while one of them will get a little rebellious and dig up somebody's garden.
There is also no chance at all that the last received signals from it are weak on account of the fact that one of the Martians is using its power supply to charge his moible phone.
The Universe is no more than twelve days old, according to new results from the University of Pontefract. However, some scepticism has been expressed about these findings since they are based on measurements from instruments made entirely of licorice.
The name "Keith" means "holy bearer of fruit gums" in no fewer than forty three and a half of the world's languages. Maggie Philbin was said to be "unsurprised".
Chupa Chups were discovered in a secret temple in the jungles of Borneo and were a gift from visiting interstellar mongoose people. Only the quince Chupa Chup is native to the Earth, but it has been extinct for many years.
"The worm has turned" is a reference to mediæval pornographic literature in which... well, suffice it to say that the word "worm" should not be taken literally.
"The tern has wormed" is an extract from an ancient Egyptian sourcebook of vetinary science and ornithology, although everyone is very confused as to whether this was a particularly clever bird in question or if it is just a mistranslation.
Irish bars in New York, in an effort to dispel the common American stereotype that all Irishmen are consistently drunk, have all sold out to Starbucks.