[Projoy] Carry on! Carry on! The laughter is barely hurting!
Chicken soup is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

I was here.

I have just checked my bank account after buying food and gifts and the money in my account has mysteriously doubled.

Due to a clerical error this is now the Year of the Wonky.

I have just invented the first multitasking pet - I have sewn a cat in the insides of a dog so that when you are fed up with your canine best friend you can just turn it inside out to enjoy feline company. Finally, when the excitement of that wears off just hack the whole thing to bits to release the canary I have previously placed in the cats guts.

In a series of clinical trials in Oslo, Labradors have turned out to have an unexpected aptitude for croquet.

Owing to a bizarrely-shaped pair of forceps, I was born oblong.

The Road to Mandalay in fact leads to Rome.

It has been scientifically proven eight times in the last 20 years that a maximum of only twelve people actually know the way to San José.

...And curiously they all currently hold the Order of the Bath.

The Order of the Bath is held only by sanctimonious idolaters.

I used to be orderd into the bath when I was youngster. Oh how I hated Sunday nights. Now I'm just a dirty old man....fnar fnar

Citizen, thy name is Gruntfuttock.