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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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On January 14th, 1911, Gustav Klimt gathered the whole population Vienna together in Josefsplatz and taught them to tap dance, a skill which was used to devastating effect in the subsequent Great War, and which is retained by every local even today.
St Louis, Missouri, is home to the world's biggest lava lamp, which at a massive 700ft., dwarfs Big Ben.
The stated aim of NASA is to make it possible to swing on a star and carry moonbeams home in a jar. It expects to achieve this within about eight years.
I know exactly what the inside of a gymnasium looks like.
Bertrand Russell was the original "Man at C & A"
Norman Rockwell had a slide-out section, enabling him to seat an additional two people.
If you buy a Picasso, it comes with a free pair of bicycle clips.
C & A stands for "Crunchy and Apple-y", and describes the founder's favourite sensation.
I just watched a clingfilm.
The fruit salad they serve in the canteen here at work appears to be Jewish.
Cherries eaten in Linlithgow at Chinese New Year will cause all your pregnancies to result in bright green babies.
Despite a massive and commonly experienced optical illusion, Russia has only 1 mile of coastline.
Soup is an excellent medium for seeking life beyond the gravy.
[Projoy] Unimpressive. I can top that easily.
[Projoy] Carry on! Carry on! The laughter is barely hurting!
Chicken soup is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
I was here.
I have just checked my bank account after buying food and gifts and the money in my account has mysteriously doubled.
Due to a clerical error this is now the Year of the Wonky.
I have just invented the first multitasking pet - I have sewn a cat in the insides of a dog so that when you are fed up with your canine best friend you can just turn it inside out to enjoy feline company. Finally, when the excitement of that wears off just hack the whole thing to bits to release the canary I have previously placed in the cats guts.
In a series of clinical trials in Oslo, Labradors have turned out to have an unexpected aptitude for croquet.
Owing to a bizarrely-shaped pair of forceps, I was born oblong.
The Road to Mandalay in fact leads to Rome.
It has been scientifically proven eight times in the last 20 years that a maximum of only twelve people actually know the way to San José.
...And curiously they all currently hold the Order of the Bath.
The Order of the Bath is held only by sanctimonious idolaters.
I used to be orderd into the bath when I was youngster. Oh how I hated Sunday nights. Now I'm just a dirty old man....fnar fnar
Citizen, thy name is Gruntfuttock.
This I find to be true and I often pop up in fairy-tails as the bad guy!
oops!wrong spelling
I am Tiger Woods
Ipswich has only been known as Ipswich since 1963. Before that it was called Hector.
Earthworms use fainting as a defence mechanism. If chopped in half, both ends will faint independently.
If stranded in the desert, it is useful to know that in its hump a dromedary carries a map, a sleeping bag, some cotton reels and a small porcelain figurine.
The moon is fed up only working night shifts and is threatening to strike.
I'm Spartacus.
I am deeply depressesed that Gooolplex has started to use MC5. Particularly this game.
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