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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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Eggs and Hams..........MMmmmmmmmmmm yum, can't wait!
The exam I feel I did best at in my whole life was my GCSE Greek. I had revised for weeks you see, and I cared very deeply about what happened to Demosthenes and his pals. I also knew Homer's Iliad off by heart.
Medical examiners (coroners) have to pass a difficult exhume.
The Queen is an alien reptilian priestess. I have it on good authority.
Tina] While Castrators just take testes.
if you want to know if your girlfriend is ticklish, give her a test-tickle
my first introduction to this site and page was not lame in the slightest
scientists have just discovered a link between Pokemon fans and sexual hypervigilance in dung beetles
The Dung Beatles are a sh*t tribute band.
I am wide awake, and looking forward to the housework I have to do today.
I am blissfully happy with my alcoholic partner
I am obsessively clean, and don't leave my sheets several weeks between washes.
plump] Your last post completely failed to amuse me.
I am 6 stone 2 pounds and anorexic.
I am perfectly healthy. There's nothing more fun or easier to get into after a long absence than exercise. Ah, feeling the burn...you can't beat it.
As a matter of fact, a good brisk walk is much more fun than being on here.
Power walking and jogging were both designed by people who lived to a ripe old age.
Abstinence makes the heart beat longer.
Absinthe makes the farts last longer.
That last statement isn't actually true.
I find a hearty meal of sprouts, cabbage, peas and runner beans makes for the blowing of some great gas..............ahhhhhhhhhh!!
Fart jokes aren't funny!
There is a tribe of very small Catholic Priests living under an abandoned Golden-Grahams box on my patio.
Rameses II was killed in a papyrus folding accident
Cleopatra is buried in Highgate cemetery.
Tutankhamun is alive and well and living in Bermondsey. (with 34 cats)
Bill WIthers.
Microsoft Works.
Hospital tea tastes like dust....
All songs sung at Christmas are carols.
My life has just been cheered up by the appearance of something called the "RealOne Message Center" in the corner of my screen. Why, I was so glad to stop what I was doing and read about special offers and deals especially selected for me! I have a warm fuzzy feeling just thinking about the programmer who came up with such a sweet idea, and I sure felt sad when I had to close the window and go back to what I was doing.
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
My coconuts never bunch because I iron them.
Whilst I have never met Coco I spend significant amounts of time wondering whether or not he was a nice bloke.
One of the best clowns on the job, after our Tony of course!
I've often wondered what clowns look like while they are 'on the job'. Lots of jelly wobbling, bells ringing and horns going off I expect.
Hey Coco, fancy a honk?
Me Tarzan, you Jane.
Owing to the common agricultural policy, there have not been any functioning similes since 1973, which is a bit like cheese.
"Pellucid" means "immoral".
Highwaymen still terrorise the major thoroughfares of England, Their horses can't keep up with the motorway traffic, but they draw scary pictures on their handkerchiefs and wave them at motorists.
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