In Septober I shall be jetting of to the sunny island of Majolica!

Ladies, please stop being so eager to express yourselves in public using flatulence.

I am not going to spend silly amounts of money in Bristol today.

I have plenty of money to spend in Bristol, if I head in that direction.

I purchased Bristol by mistake when I was out trying to find my Mum a birthday present. It's still in its original wrapping but they won't take it back, and now I've nowhere to put it.