In every Pirelli calendar, one of the models is actually a female impersonator.

Our local national football (soccer to some) team did a 'nude' calendar; they were awful!

Err, ladies football team. *embarrassed flush*

In every female impersonators calender, one of the models is actually a Pirelli impersonator

I tire of hearing about Pirelli impersonators, Angus, but it sounds like you're on a roll. Here's a true story though, I swear. The other day I ordered a twelve inch Marguerita with thin topping, and it was delivered by a welshman with a receding hairline. That's what you get for ringing Dai Allopecia.