He's been merged with the National Elf Service

Santa is thinking of relocating the operation. It seems that the business world is changing and he needs to have a presence in several different countries. The elves have threatened to strike, believing that it's just a plot to keep them from forming a union.

I take all my grievances to a trade onion. It helps me cry and get over them.

I used to be a member of a union, but I traded my membership for a Skoda and the daughter of a Finnish diplomat.

Roger Hargreaves has recently published his first Gothic horror novel, Doctor Jekyll and Mr Uppity.