Out of shame for one of its namesakes, the town of Blairsville, Pennsylvania will now be known as "Howardsville".

Chocolate makes an excellent draft excluder.

Flourescent lightbulbs are filled with fairies. Electrocution causes them to light up.

Actually, electricity is caused by tiny hamsters running very very fast. Fuses therefore consist of tiny bridges - if too many hamsters try to cross the bridge at any one time, the bridge breaks and no current flows.

I am much enjoying my carbonated pork drink as I read this game.

The stock market is a lie. If a billion shares are sold, then a billion must also be bought. Therefore, the Dow Jones is just a fantasy perpetrated by gamblers in Las Vegas who bet on the activities of the gullable public.

The gullable public are those persons who take bits of bread to the seaside and then feed the local birds in order to get the latest mews.