An infinite number of monkeys with typewriters will eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare, likewise 3 pigeons, a copy of Miscrosoft Word, and the Radio Script Wizard (TM) produce all the scripts for "The Archers".

Lead pencils were gradually replaced by copper pencils from about 1965.

I was arrested by a copper pencil yesterday. I was driving too hard on the B6.

The Parkway East in Pittsburgh, much like the M25, is a marvel of modern transportation and drivers should slow down to 15MPH to sufficiently take in its beauty and efficiency.

Americans understand the metric system really. They're just having us on.

Everyone over 75 in the UK really understands decimal currency, and the Europeans invented the single currency in the hope that it would eventually reach Britain and confuse all the pensioners.

Euros do not look suspiciously like francs used to.

I thought I saw a Polecat the other day, but when I asked, he said he was from Russia.

It is not at all suspicious that there is only one chain of shops in Britain still selling chocolate coins depicting our own currency.

I put Humpty Dumpty together again.

I treated Jack for concussion.

I pushed both of them.

I used to work at the pharmacy where Little Boy Blue bought his narcolepsy medication.