Americans understand the metric system really. They're just having us on.

Everyone over 75 in the UK really understands decimal currency, and the Europeans invented the single currency in the hope that it would eventually reach Britain and confuse all the pensioners.

Euros do not look suspiciously like francs used to.

I thought I saw a Polecat the other day, but when I asked, he said he was from Russia.

It is not at all suspicious that there is only one chain of shops in Britain still selling chocolate coins depicting our own currency.

I put Humpty Dumpty together again.

I treated Jack for concussion.

I pushed both of them.

I used to work at the pharmacy where Little Boy Blue bought his narcolepsy medication.

I was the cartographer for the Grand Old Duke of !York's Third Light Artillery.

I participated in a raid that released Mrs. Peter Peter from the pumpkin shell.