Scientists have discovered that if you place certain Impressionist paintings in your garden, then garden pests are attracted to them. Said one scientist, "Monet is the route of all weevils".

Contrary to popular belief, it takes more than two to tango. The rugby scrum evolved from an erotic tango originally danced by two women of the night (or 'hookers'), each supported by their 'pack' of seven supporters.

A recent survey showed that the most popular boys' name amongst American weevils was Eric, whilst in Britain it is Kenneth.

Weevils wobble but they don't fall down.

Frankly, all the British weevils I know arenamed Keith.

are named (sorry).

It is obvious, I can type proficiently with just one hand, while petting a cat with the other.

I wouldn't worry about it, pet!

An artificial smell is made in a factory and is called an "ol".

Scratch-n-Sniff stickers were invented by the Aztecs.

Foosball (sic) was originally played by explorers with pygmys on sticks.

An infinite number of monkeys with typewriters will eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare, likewise 3 pigeons, a copy of Miscrosoft Word, and the Radio Script Wizard (TM) produce all the scripts for "The Archers".

Lead pencils were gradually replaced by copper pencils from about 1965.