I used to work in my local Harvester, but they threw me out when I got into a stew. Then I was really in the soup.

I then worked in a hippy nudist beach community for a while as a lobster-fisherman. They threw me out - I caught crabs.

Then I was Donny Osmond's tour manager for a while a few years back, but I got arrested for making puppy love. ([AP] His educational career began, interestingly enough, in agricultural school, where he majored in animal husbandry, until they caught him at it one day)

I worked in an athletic shoe factory when one day I was terminated for a slip of the tongue.

Indeed, Tina; I used to be a script writer, but the boss gave me the hard word.

At one stage I was an 'illumination' technician, but I wasn't bright enough.

In my youth, I joined a hip acting company, but I couldn't make the scene.

Gimmie, gimme, gimme a man after midnight.

At midnight every night I turn into a goat for 5 seconds. This explains the cheese in my shoes in the morning.