mc5 - ... so help me God.

I had a job installing venetian blinds, but then the soft furnishing company next door took over and it was curtains for me.

I can think of many more ideas, all of them better than any of the preceding

I worked down at the Heinz Plant, but was eventually canned for always being pickled.

I was hired by Jonathan Ross to write for him some David Letterman-style Top 10 lists....but was fired for w[here's your coat. -- ed]

I used to work in my local Harvester, but they threw me out when I got into a stew. Then I was really in the soup.