mc5 - ... so help me God.

I tried setting up a low budget airline but it never got off the ground.

So I tried to persuade the London authorities to let me run a privatised Underground system, but that went down the tubes.

As for my poultry farm - well, let's just say it was a cock-up.

With all the talk on nanotechnology these days, I thought there would be a niche for sub-micron fluid holders, but it pailed into insignificance.

I got a job in jungle clearance, but I couldn't hack it.

I tried to design and market a kitched implement for preparing pungent seeds of certain cruciferous plants, but it didn't cut the mustard.

...and my careless typo in the last one shows why I only worked on a dictionary for a short spell.

I started working for an excavation company, but didn't dig it.

I worked for a photographer until I snapped.

My time in the entomology department at our local museum bugged me.

I was quite successful as a font designer, although it was rather against type.

Then I had a job installing blackboards, but gave it up because I was always wiped.

I had a job installing venetian blinds, but then the soft furnishing company next door took over and it was curtains for me.