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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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I had a job designing tumblers for a while - they said my ideas were all great in theory, but wouldn't hold water.
I snagged a job with a 'bus company once - I even took their various I.Q. test over a few months - but when I gave them my report they said I queued too much. OK, I'm half tickled ...
Like Dr Q+ I worked for a company which produces a generic ViagraTM product, but it was just too hard.
I once was a fill-in worker at a company that manufactured pails but left when the owner kicked the bucket.
I joined the professional chess tour...to meet women, of course. I quit after failing to find a mate.
Afterwards, I joined the professional poker tour. Let's just say I folded after pulling the Queen of Clubs.
Later on, I was consultant to the dairy industry. However, most of my clientele dropped off after one of the Big Cheeses said I was milking them for everything they were worth....
I used to work in a mirror manufacturors, but they said my appearance reflected badly on the company.
I tried setting up a low budget airline but it never got off the ground.
So I tried to persuade the London authorities to let me run a privatised Underground system, but that went down the tubes.
As for my poultry farm - well, let's just say it was a cock-up.
With all the talk on nanotechnology these days, I thought there would be a niche for sub-micron fluid holders, but it pailed into insignificance.
I got a job in jungle clearance, but I couldn't hack it.
I tried to design and market a kitched implement for preparing pungent seeds of certain cruciferous plants, but it didn't cut the mustard.
...and my careless typo in the last one shows why I only worked on a dictionary for a short spell.
I started working for an excavation company, but didn't dig it.
I worked for a photographer until I snapped.
My time in the entomology department at our local museum bugged me.
I was quite successful as a font designer, although it was rather against type.
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