Later on, I was consultant to the dairy industry. However, most of my clientele dropped off after one of the Big Cheeses said I was milking them for everything they were worth....

I used to work in a mirror manufacturors, but they said my appearance reflected badly on the company.

I tried setting up a low budget airline but it never got off the ground.

So I tried to persuade the London authorities to let me run a privatised Underground system, but that went down the tubes.

As for my poultry farm - well, let's just say it was a cock-up.

With all the talk on nanotechnology these days, I thought there would be a niche for sub-micron fluid holders, but it pailed into insignificance.

I got a job in jungle clearance, but I couldn't hack it.