I used to be a professional masturbator, but I just couldn't hold my own.

I had to give up my rôle of Agony Aunt. I had a low threshold of pain.

It's no good trying to contact me when I'm at work. Since I started this job as a professional hangman, all my callers have hung up on me.

[ZK] Doesn't matter, I'm not very good, you'd have to be barking to call me.

I'd have to be a bit of a sap, then? Do you reckon you need counselling? Don't give up too soon and leave - your problems are probably deeply rooted. I know an excellent Tree Surgeon therapist, Den Dron.