mc5 - ... so help me God.

I was one of Santa's elves, but I got the sack.

I used to be a butcher which, as you can imagine, was quite fulfilling - then they gave me the axe...

I made Spam, until they canned me.

I worked so hard at being a lift attendant that they gave me a rise.

For a while I worked in a lingere shop, but they gave me the pink slip.

I used to put peas in tins, 44 per tin. One day I got my pea 45.

I used to be a ritual circumciser, but one day I slipped and got the sack.

I used to be a train conductor, but resigned when I realised I was going nowhere.

I used to be a trapeze artist until I was dropped.

I studied to be a florist, but my career was nipped in the bud.

I once had a job in a towel factory, but the company folded.

I used to work for Chidrens BBC in the 70's. I lost the job when I dropped a clanger.

I was going to be a historian, but realised that there was no future in it.