I was once considered a model of a passe major general. It was in all the papers.

I am a mole and I live in a hole.

The contents of one's gutter, when left to ferment for up to a year, make an excellent hair-restorer.

Hairbrushes, if left uncleaned, eventually develop into hedgehogs.

As a mark of respect to Mr.Milligan all hedgehogs are called Spike.

The Old English Sheepdog evolved from a prehistoric mop.

A wandering minstrel I, a thing of shreds and patches

Deep in the hallowed halls of Westminster, a small group of determined government frontbenchers plot the establishment of yet another organisation to consider a subject of public importance, but which is to be independent from the government. Could this be another job for Quango Prairie Dog?

[AP] We really know our worth, the sun and I.

I have nothing better to do.

I can dance.

I once danced with Keanu Reeves, but kept falling on the ground when he would do the dip. He seemed to hover above the ground and I could not keep up with him.

I love modern dancing - one doesn't have to snuggle up to one's partner.