Purple is the new purple.

Methane is so named in honour of the Laird of Meith, after the swamp gas in that region pledged eternal loyalty to his line for services rendered.

The Heiroglyphs on the walls of Tutankhamun's tomb read 'Danger, Low Ceiling'

I am the very model of a modern major-general.

I was once considered a model of a passe major general. It was in all the papers.

I am a mole and I live in a hole.

The contents of one's gutter, when left to ferment for up to a year, make an excellent hair-restorer.

Hairbrushes, if left uncleaned, eventually develop into hedgehogs.

As a mark of respect to Mr.Milligan all hedgehogs are called Spike.

The Old English Sheepdog evolved from a prehistoric mop.

A wandering minstrel I, a thing of shreds and patches

Deep in the hallowed halls of Westminster, a small group of determined government frontbenchers plot the establishment of yet another organisation to consider a subject of public importance, but which is to be independent from the government. Could this be another job for Quango Prairie Dog?

[AP] We really know our worth, the sun and I.

I have nothing better to do.

I can dance.

I once danced with Keanu Reeves, but kept falling on the ground when he would do the dip. He seemed to hover above the ground and I could not keep up with him.

I love modern dancing - one doesn't have to snuggle up to one's partner.

While sleeping I rise to a height of five hundred feet above sea level and slowly rotate above either Lincolnshire or Norfolk.

I have just given up being the centre of gravity. The job sucked.

I have just lost my job as a pornstar. It was a blow.

I have just given up being the rear spoiler on the McLaren F1 car... what a drag.