Sadly, I only have a Fun-Sized Milky Way.

[BtD] Ah they're not called fun size for nothing [plump] not at all brilliant
I never tire of listening to ****** Riverdance on hold to the Apple Store UK. It's only surpassed by when they have Enya on loop instead.

My aunt has just changed her name by deed poll to "Horace the Marauding Oaf"

Somewhere in the Andes is a small collective of white-faced, black-haired men who sacrifice sheep yearly to Ken Dodd.

In the course of investigating the powers of the Lord Chancellor, Whitehall officials have discovered that every sentence uttered in the precincts of Westminster should be concluded with the word "stush" or "wagwan".

I was not glad to be home from work today.

I was seventeenth in line to the Danish throne, but I renounced my claim to marry a bar of Dairy Milk.

[Tuj] I could believe that if you'd said Bourneville.

Light can only pass through glass which has been specially calibrated by frogs.