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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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This will not take very long.
Don't look now, but the building you are in is surrounded by ducks.
This sentence is five words long.
So is this one. And this, too. Even this.
Toblerones are made from the reconstructed nose hairs of 2 week old gorillas
Which is ironic, because gorillas evolved from cheese.
Michael Howard looks certain to lead a wholly reunited Conservative party to an overwhelming General Election victory in 2005.
The entries under the name of "Tuj" are in fact selected highlights of the typings of a million chimpanzees.
Noone typed this. In fact, I do not exist.
I did not type this. I do not own a keyboard, and have to enter words onto the computer by a process involving my brain, a set of jump leads and the scrotum of a passing snapping turtle.
Irony is made, ironically enough, from flakes of Alanis Morisette.
I have no hard drive. I have no memory. I am living in the 80's.
The 80's did not exist. They were just the 70's without bell bottoms.
I still wear flares.
I shot J.R.
And I shot the deputy.
The year is not 2003. It never was and never will be, due to a clerical error at the printers.
Everyone in the UK looks up to, and admires the Royal Family. No-one believes that terrible rumour.
I started the rumour
Spam brings peace through joy
Ponds bring peace through koi.
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