mc5 - ... so help me God.

Yes.

Only if elephant tusks are not on the menu. If this is satisfactory to you please send to me your bank account details in order that we can confirm this in a professional manner.

Signed

Sucker

Fat German

The Ordnace Survey's next project will be a survey of Peter Stringfellow's scrotal sack.

barbacoa

This will not take very long.

Ibid

Don't look now, but the building you are in is surrounded by ducks.

Zooological Keeper

This sentence is five words long.

DrQu+xum

So is this one. And this, too. Even this.

Angus Prune

Toblerones are made from the reconstructed nose hairs of 2 week old gorillas

Dunx

Which is ironic, because gorillas evolved from cheese.

Projoy

Michael Howard looks certain to lead a wholly reunited Conservative party to an overwhelming General Election victory in 2005.

Tuj

The entries under the name of "Tuj" are in fact selected highlights of the typings of a million chimpanzees.

flerdle

Noone typed this. In fact, I do not exist.

Angus Prune

I did not type this. I do not own a keyboard, and have to enter words onto the computer by a process involving my brain, a set of jump leads and the scrotum of a passing snapping turtle.

snorgle

Irony is made, ironically enough, from flakes of Alanis Morisette.

Tina

I have no hard drive. I have no memory. I am living in the 80's.

Tina

The 80's did not exist. They were just the 70's without bell bottoms.

Dujon

I still wear flares.

Zooological Keeper

I shot J.R.

Riff

And I shot the deputy.