All Liberal Democrats have a heartening vision of universal freedom, all Labour guys strive to improve the life of the common man and all Conservatives yearn to create a morally upstanding Britain. All voters want to help them.

It's your democratic duty to vote. If everyone voted, we would have a government that would be discernibly superior to the current one.

There is a place called Nebraska in Hell.

There is a house in New Orleans they call the Rising Bun.

Las Vegas is made entirely of dried macaroni and PVA glue

When a penguin is born it must immediately pass an examination in accountancy otherwise it will be forced to become a cormorant.

[pen] I feel safe...
Sawdust is actually a gas. Chemical symbol Sw, it reacts violently with bromine to produce spinach.

similarly, barbecue sauce is the result of a chemical reaction between potassium and shampoo.

Shampoo comes from the ancient Indian word meaning to smother with month-old brie

One can actually achieve a fine brie at home simply by putting a bottle of milk in a tumble dryer on hot for several days.

All things can be tumble dried

The indigenous population of commemorative plaques has been severely diminished by trophy hunters.

Somewhere in the Australian Bush, a man has faked his own death. Could this be a jobb for 'Insurance Fraud Kookabura'?