A family of plastic giraffes have just moved in to a mansion just down the road from me.

Ian Duncan Smith is to be plasted into orbit, from where his head will reflect enough sunlight to reduce coldness of the polar night, thereby allowing the polar bears to stay up later and practice football.

s/plasted/blasted/

< lie=" this isn't a shameless crib from Carpe Diem" > The Jedi Gerbil Collective are on a mission to convert the entire meerkat population to Jedi-ism. < /lie >

I am not certifiable.

I feel great!

Buy me now, and get another free (while stocks last).