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News Has Come To Harvard
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An annotated list of recently discovered elements to add to the periodic table.
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irach
Akron
An ignoble gas found exclusively in the industrial wasteland of Ohio's Cuyahoga Valley.
Darren
Antimoney
The more of this element you have, the poorer you get.
irach
Sanitarium
An element necessary to restore good health
Juxtapose
Um
A short and meaningless element, often found punctuating long chains of other molecules.
Simons Mith
[Juxt] That's my favourite amongst some very stiff competition.
Simons Mith
Rumtumtiddleumtum: the most stable isotope of poohshum.
irach
Ultimatum
The last discovered element, or else.
Raak
Hilversum
An element formerly used in the manufacture of radios. If someone offers you an antique radio, check its authenticity by looking for the word "Hilversum" written on the tuning dial.
irach
tintinnabulum
A metallic element, often used in the manufacture of ringing bells.
Robin
Euphonium
A constituent element of brass.
Raak
Columbarium
An element used in the preservation of cremated remains.
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