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News Has Come To Harvard
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An annotated list of recently discovered elements to add to the periodic table.
104: Excusium
Constituent element in whitewash. Self-replicating. Used in large quantities by politicians.
111: Excusium
Constituent element in whitewash. Self-replicating. Used in large quantities by politicians.
Isotopes, eh? And what is the half-life?
5.5: Bore-on
Atmospheric element of air found in council meeting chambers across the globe. Deadens discussion and limits imagination.
Quantum Electodynamics
Can I direct everyone's attention to this scholarly treatise on some of the sub-atomic particles closely associated with politics and particularly elections: Quantum Electodynamics
alium: an ethereal vapour given off by church choirs. Often found with spem.
Chilium
Could be the basis of a new life-form since it can exist in long chains.
Canadium
A noble metal. Very unreactive.
Dorine
Generally forms stable compounds. Increasingly rare.
Blairium
Toxic element found in cheese residues. Radioactive - half-life 5 years.
112: Oberonium
The only metal harder than Titanium.
Yeswecanium
An element formed by the bombardment of Barakobamium with enthusiasum.
Britannium
A heavy metal that reacts violently with alcohol.
Hocknium
Traces of this element are found in both Yorkshire and California. Burns with a very smoky flame.
Poxygen
An essential trace element in natural aphrodisiacs.
Bilium
An element with mind-altering properties, rendering the subject contemptuous of everything he lays eyes on. Many comments on blog posts are made under the influence of bilium.
Moron
An element in the group as Sillyium, can turn base elements into fool's gold.
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