Well, I'll either annex or axe Sunderland, depending which lobby group offers me the best deal.

[Softers] No, I think you've got the wrong end of the stick, there. That one sounds ideal. Just look at the US Congress and its current disgusting attitude to the Armenian genocide resolution.

So, is it true I get to set my own salary?

And expenses?!?

I see myself as a modern Guy Fawkes.

I swear loyalty to Her Majesty the Antichrist Bitch, er I mean Queen.

Hey, what's this big heavy golden javelin doing sitting on the desk. Reckon I can get it thru that big plate glass window up on the balcony?

There, there!

I want to be an MP because Parliament is the best drinking club in London.

So who does this "whip" think he is, anyway? Whatever he says I'm voting the other way on principle.

How much am I allowed to spend on stationery, again? ref one Siobhain McDonagh MP, full story here