National Anthem? Of course I know it: Allons ! Enfants de la Patrie ! Le jour de gloire est arrivé !... oops! (This really happened in Belgium last month)

WHO'S THE WANKER IN BLAAACK?

Wny do I want to stand for Labour? Well, I like your logo best.

Well, my first priority is to annexe Sunderland.

I wouldn't have joined this club if I'd known they would let women in.

Actually, no. My first priority is to axe Sunderland.

I'm terribly sorry, but I don't have time for industrial lobbyists or monied special intrests. I'm far too busy addressing the concerns of my constituents, who must always come first.