There will be flooding in the north due to the heavy rain of the last few days, which was due to the cold front pushing in from the Atlantic, which...my God, it never ends, does it? Every day's weather is caused by the previous day's -- and causes the next! But that means...that the Earth must always have existed...and it always will exist...our entire lives are to Eternity as less than an atom in the whole universe! We are nothing! Aieeeee!

There will be a 33.25% chance of rain today and a 12.5% chance of snow. Sunshine is 8% likely and a warm dry day with no sun is a 25% chance. Cool and overcast is 20% likely. So that leaves a 1.25% chance of no weather at all. I'm Peter Snow, goodnight.

If you're going out today, make sure to take with you 40% of an umbrella, 10% of a pair of wellies, and 5% of a tube of sunblock.

[Raak] I was watching the weather report the other day and it stated a 50% chance of rain, essentially meaning that either it will rain or it won't. How very helpful.

(nfras) What would you like them to have said, given the inherent uncertainty in weather forecasting?

[Rosie] "It could do anything, if you look out of your window you'll have a better idea than we do."

Are the stars out tonight? I don't care if it's cloudy or bright, for I only have eyes for yooooou...!