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Ooops! Time to change career?
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Give quotes that suggests the person would be better seeking more suitable employment.
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"You know, I've been completely lost since that last storm blew my piece of seaweed away."
"This (a cold front) will be moving south and there'll be some weather on it". Verbatim, more or less, from BBC R4 forecaster Kirsty McCabe, the de-rigeur-Scottish-woman-with-the-nasty-tinny-accent-who-knows-little-meteorology-and-will-be-off-doing-something-else-in-the-media-soon. Room 101, poss.
Page 3 girl speaking in a French accent out of a porn film: Zere will be a verree warm frurnt (thrusts infeasibly large chest towards viewer) approsheeng, an' eet will mek me verree verree 'ot, so 'ot zat I must -- to continue watching, enter your credit card details now.
Raak must divulge the channel he saw that on immediately, so we may all appraise the quality of the weather reports.

The Earth will shake and lightning will blaze down from the heavens to scorch the heathen! The ground will be rent asunder and fire and brimstone will issue forth from the cracks to suffocate the ungathered, and the four horsemen of the apocalypse, Famine, War, Disease and Income Tax, will ride amongst the howling masses, reaping from them a harvest of abject misery! Loud will be the screams of those dragged down into the fiery depths to suffer torment eternal! Sunday will be warm with scattered showers.
[SM] Lovely.
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