Before you taste this wonderful vintage sir, there is just the matter of the health and safety risk assessment questionnaire just a formality, only take ten minutes of your time. Now is sir left or right handed?

It's from somewhere in Germany.

Hang on, let me guess... is it red?

Certainly. And would you like a glass or a straw?

You can tell a lot from the label, sir. For example, this one says 'Tesco 2.99', well, that's frankly piss.