A trade secret I'll share with you sir: if the bottle's a funny shape the wine's even better!

Before you taste this wonderful vintage sir, there is just the matter of the health and safety risk assessment questionnaire just a formality, only take ten minutes of your time. Now is sir left or right handed?

It's from somewhere in Germany.

Hang on, let me guess... is it red?

Certainly. And would you like a glass or a straw?