Welcome back master! While you were out I threw out all that nasty dirt in your coffin and gave it a good scrub with the water from the old church font.

"Oh dear ... tell me THAT is not *blood*. Because, if that is *blood* I am going to faint dead away."

"Sorry, I forgot again. Does the two quick claps thing mean 'take him away' or 'throw him to the floor'?"

"Why can't I commute? I don't want to live under a volcano."

But master, your enemy is but a single callow youth. What threat can he possibly pose?

Look, y' knew the deal when y' borrered the money from Big Tony. If y' can't pay woss owed we're going to have to give you another three month extension on the dealine and reduce the payments again.

Master, when you have a moment, could we book some time in for my appraisal?