mc5 - AVMA Part 2

I'm thrilled to note the return of Oswald Effing Spengler.

While others take the train to work each morning, I take a spatula.

A spatula is a very large, hairy eight-legged creature, often with poisonous fangs.

All items which appear to be pink are actually blue, and vice versa.

If you stay bedridden for too long, you will start to grow tap roots.

I disagree with Chalky on the Spengler subject.

By the way, did you know that Oswald Spengler was a notorious pig rustler?

I have it on good authority that he was (and, indeed, still is) a notorious spatula rustler.

The deadly spatulate rustlesnake is the most frequent cause of death in collectors of orange crates.

I can fit a filing cabinet into my mouth.

That's nothing - I've been known to accommodate Great Gable and Skiddaw in one single mouthful.

I think we'll be hearing a lot more about O. Spengler in this game.
PS Chalky, Phil, any others - I have no regrets.

I'll be off to buy my balancing pigs later.

Petrol is a convenient substitute for sun screen.

The best way to apply petrol to your body is with a spatula.

Just by looking deeply into a person's eyes, I can tell who their hairdresser's mother is.

My mother was Projoy's hairdresser.

My hairdresser is Oswald Spengler's spatula wrangler.

My hairdresser was Projoy's mother's spatula.

Projoy's dress was my mother's hair.

A seance is best held with a tin of baked beans on the mantlepiece.