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Each Move Must Consist Of Precisely Eight Words
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Just as it says on the tin. What happens in the game may be debated in the game: perhaps it'll be a conversation, perhaps a word-limited reprise of various games we play, or whatever.
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I had cheezbrgr for lunch. It was yours.
(pen) That's impossible. I had already eaten it.
[rosie] i am inzide you, eatn ur fud.
(pen) You realise that makes you a tapeworm?
Loltapeworms? Now there's food for thought. Or not.
"im in ur bwls, pokn my head out"
*is not really appreciating the fake textual terminology*
[Chalky] I concur with your sentiments entirely, m8.
Ah well. Who's up for a Sonnet? Anyone?
Would it not be insanely hard to do?
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Or something that's a touch less plagiaristic?
(Chalky) Thou mayest. I am dull and sweaty.
The scansion's fine thus far, but whither rhyme?
Scansion is normally more withered than rhyme here.
So, shall we try for a sonnet then?
Is this a task too difficult for us?
Have we changed to eight word questions only?
Let's boldly go where none have gone before
Let's seize the day and take no pri-son-ers
Steady on. This is getting a bit dynamic.
Great struggle makes this battle worth the more.
(That literal boldness was not what I meant.)
We'll fight the fight in full-blown clichéd verse
And sweep the field of sceptics and faint-hearts
For those who dare to sabotage our quest
Onward, Morniversal soldiers, marching as to hostility scenarios.
We shall reserve the keenest of our darts.
Our foes shall quake at our felicitous constructions.
With poisoned tip to quell such vile unrest
So wage we our campaign for well-spun lines
Our weapons primed with language, form and wit
The straitness of our measure shows the signs
That we are really like up for it
(That scansion's foul; let all avert their eyes!)
Resolved we weave a fitting end to it
(If I count right, the final couplet's here:)
If I count right, the final couplet's here:
(In afterthought, my thought seemed well to fit.)

Let's boldly go where none have gone before
Let's seize the day and take no pri-son-ers
Great struggle makes this battle worth the more
We'll fight the fight in full-blown clichéd verse

And sweep the field of sceptics and faint-hearts
For those who dare to sabotage our quest
We shall reserve the keenest of our darts
With poisoned tip to quell such vile unrest

So wage we our campaign for well-spun lines
Our weapons primed with language, form and wit
The straitness of our measure shows the signs
Resolved we weave a fitting end to it

If I count right, the final couplet's here
To doubters - we have writ what we hold dear

Thank you, Raak, for believing - that was fun :-)
OK - fancy poetry's done - time for a chat?
[Chalky] Thank you for the dance, fun indeed!
But that last line, it has nine words!
(The last line of the sonnet, that is.)
[Quendalon] God is perfect, but we are not.
On the other hand, "we've enscribed" would fit.
[Raak] Perfect. I rushed and spoiled it. Sorry :-(
Can you do a haiku, then? Three separate lines, mind: no cheating.

Syncopating this
Is indubitably tough
Like making pancakes.
[pen] Not bad! But I meant three lines, each of eight words...
[CdM] I did think about that. How can eight words be squeezed out of five or seven syllables, unless you speak broad Yorkshire? Go on, show me! :oP
I am the tall bloke. That is me. In proper Yorks. accent becomes, I'm t'tall bloke, that's me
The poetry is great, please stick to eight!
Well, at least I broke the octofascistic hold for a couple of moves there. There is hope for you all yet.
Four feet per line makes all words short.
All work no play makes Raak dull boy?
Oh no, not another very difficult poetry game.
(CdM) You have repeatedly trampled octofascism to death. :-)
[nights] Do I detect a weary situational acceptance?
Hard thought is good play for the mind.
Doesn't anyone have eight pithy words for Friday?
We get the day off, in three days.
Let's skive off now for this week end.
The Bank Holiday will be a total washout. Like colonic irrigation.
We have no bank holiday here in France.
The sum shone all day here, no rain.
Some nice weather in Holland, where I stayed.
Day off? My next is seven weeks away.
Sun and Mon had much rain and wind.
Phil, you work from home - it's a pub
I spent the weekend in wet west Wales.
I bet it was warmer than wet northeast Surrey.
Well, it just reached 12C on Monday afternoon.
penelope, I know. Still no days off though.
Goodness it's warm here. 29 degrees today.
There may be 29, but the third's worst.
The second's quite bad enough for a burn. My burn, nearly a year ago, has healed completely.
Quite so, Rosie. Meanwhile, it's Monday, and now...?
[pen] ...for something completely different? I like maps.
(Tuj) It's good to meet a fellow cartophile.
Yeah - the map thing - even when I was young I always needed to know where I was. Sorry - have I broken the 8-word thingy?
Maps rock! Satnav is so crap it hurts.
(Chalky) Not at all, m'dear. Pretend you're CdM. Ooh, get 'im.
[Chalky] Careful. It ain't easy to pretend to be me.
[CdM] Yes, I find that a problem too.
Rosie's last two comments have been somewhat cediemulant.
Maybe so, but this one is satnavophobically Philoconfirmatory. (Tuj) V good, BTW.
Try switching it off and on again, Rosie
I did. It's still James Naughtie wittering on.
Should we switch MC5 on and off again?
I really don't understand what's going on here.
And yet, here you are. How very peculiar.
[FGZstar] Strangely, I think that's almost a prerequisite.
Its raining again from where I am standing.
Are you standing on a cloud then, Software?
It could be that he's having a slash.
Rosie's explanation would better stand up to scrutiny.
Eeeeeuuuuwwww. Not something I'd like to scrutinise, really.
[penelope] Especially not when it is standing up
In that state "rainfall" production is largely inhibited.
It is certainly hard to disprove that statement.
Goodness, I leave for five minutes, and look...
The eight word rule restored? Or something else?
Been away for ages but now I'm back.
I told you it was an addiction, mate.
I held off for four days. Cold turkey.
I went on holiday for a week. Returned.
Not the most popular of games, is it?
It has its moments, perhaps this is another.
Damn. I think I blinked and missed it.
I think that should be blunk, like wunk.
An ant and antelope are after an annulment.
Is that because Ant and Bee hooked up?
I thought that Ant hooked up with Dec
Everyone did - "all hands on Dec" they said.
I thought we were in Jun not Dec.
Yes, we are but not for very long. Clearly this is the Department of Great Thoughts.
So, Tim is out, better luck next time.
[Softers] Your Automatic Wimbledon Comment Generator needs updating.
I wonder if the rain will stop soon?
(Softers) There will be real rain today (Wednesday).
Twelve hours of the wretched stuff so far!!
Don't care. Going to Holland tomorrow, my birthday. :o)
It didn't rain Wednesday at all over here. :o)
We did have a brief shower on Thursday.
Cold and wet in Scotland all next week.
Come on, people! Think of new games!
I know! Each move seven words long!
[CdM] Thirteen words it is you want now then? Yoda speak I like then...
Those aren't new games, just a rearranged version.
To a connoisseur, each number is completely different.
Seven is good, six is better.
I've said it before: it's eight for me.
Yes, quite. It's an octal base for me.
Six words good! Seven words baaaaad!
But five is even better.
Four is plenty.
3?
Whither syntax?
Gone.
( )
i2
This is ridiculous. Let's get back to business.
y?
I'm with pen. Not in the biblical sense.
Ah! So we have a writer amongst us.
I haven't contributed for rather a long time.
Have your knees been playing up, old chap?
The quick brown fox jumps ...to be continued...
.....over the fence and exuberantly shags receptive vixen.
We've now moved to nature study I see.
One for sorrow, two for joy, eight for...?
...the hell of it? Makes sense to me...
I've just made mushroom soup. From mushrooms. Yuk.
(pen) More details, please, particularly regarding the yuckiness.
The soup was delicious. I hate whole mushrooms.
Why does turtle soup contain no whole turtles?
It would be too easy to mock them.
And they don't fit on the soup spoon.
Tried terrapin soup? a nipper in a dipper
I prefer alphabet soup. It's educative, quite literally.
What ever happened to traditional Brown Windsor soup?
Soup's off, dear. Want a nice prawn cocktail?
Soup's off? Did the tanker not turn up?
If the soup's off, there is always Spam.
There is very little nourishment in junk emails.
There is very little nourishment in Spam either.
Very little intellectual nourishment in here right now...
Well, I did watch University Challenge last night.
Were you able to answer any questions, though?
I just like hearing the words "Jesus - HUGHES."
This intellect seems to have halted the flow.
To halt the flow you should take Imodium.
Depends. It could be an incontinence pad, perhaps.
Or Luciano Pavarotti. Oops! Wrong kind of Tena.
Oh dear. It has all gone downhill, innit?
It is easier going downhill than uphill.
Quite so. Gravity has much to answer for.
Gravity is such a drag. Let's lighten up!
Pen - I can not imagine you in drag.
My impression of a woman is quite convincing
Oh dear, dear, penelope. Who told you that?
[Phil] Your boyfriend, wearing pink shirt and earrings.
Pen, you must have had years of practice.
Let her tell us precisely how many years.
Are you all still holding your collective breaths?
I'd rather be holding yours, to be honest.
Rosie, you seem to have developed a lisp.
Yeth I have, and I'm only thixty-five. Geddit?
I thought that I said lisp not limp.
References to limpness will be treated with derision.
Dr. Peabody's Best Derision, one shilling a bottle.
At that price I'll take a dozen, please.
Useful when listening to politcians on the media.
This post has exactly the right number of
Come on, come on, I hate the suspense
...words necessary to pass muster in this game.
Is that all? I was expecting a revelation.
You'll find quite a few at the back.
Does anyone here recall Blue Jam? Quite extraordinary.
No, but I've a jar of blackberry jelly.
(nights) Can you play C Jam Blues, though?
If you can whistle it, I'll try to.
Here it is: Woohoo, -, -, woohoo, woohoo, Woooo Hoo.
Hmm. May be beyond my musical capabilities. Sorry.
Switswoo, la-di-da, switswoo, switswoo, switswoo swoooooo bum bum.
I believe penelope is speaking in tongues again.
What do you expect? It's probably Double Dutch.
It was an Edith Piaf song, Padam Padam.
Ah. I see. Well, very nice, pen. Yes.
Gosh, it is October already. How time flies!
And a new week! Eight Monday words, anyone?
"this, queen, eldritch, lemming, towers, quell, mensch, trauma"
That sounds like a rather promising plot outline.
I, am, fed, up, with, my, job. OK?
Isn't imparting knowledge to others is very fulfilling?
Perhaps you could even teach Rosie about syntax.
Oh dear! So much for the Whoops button.
I was having a bad day. Better today!
Better now indeed. It's the weekend. Laundry looms.
Sorry, pen; what the hell are laundry looms?
Pen, I know what you mean. Laundry. Ugh.
I love ironing. Is that a bit freaky?
Not at all, Pen. What iron've you got?
"Iron've" is an unusual word. Iron've iron've iron've.
You can come and do my ironing, pen.
Steel yourself and cast ironing to the winds.
Teflon plate with sports suspension and steam boost.
Cool. Mine's a rear sidewinder with overhead underhangs.
Mine's a pint. Ironing's just a necessary evil.
A pint of steam? Is that all? Wuss.
It's all right for you, you're a girl.
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard, Softers.
[pen] There's something very Mainwaringesque about that line.
Sorry about that. I was in bossy mode.
[pen] So much for your girly side, then.
Words to the wise. Girly side *is* bossy.
That's the most tautological statement I've ever heard.
Do you want me to tell you again?
Oooh! I like it when you're dominant, pen.
I don't think that was what I meant...
Well, if you don't know, we certainly don't!
I knew none of you knew, you know
We'd like to know if you know, though.
Anyone know if I know what's going on?
I'm not sure. How much do you know?
he knows more than he's letting on. maybe.
I really don't know what's going on here.
It's all on a need to know basis.
I don't wish to know that, oh no.
I think Tuj's real name is John Major.
Who are you calling Major in here, Rosie?
[Rosie] That's hard for a twenty-one-year-old to take!
Fair enough, I never fancied Edwina Curry either.
Nor me, but maybe she's a good shag.
Change of subject. My, what a gloomy weekend.
I appear to have lost a vowel somewhere.
I expect you left it on the train.
[Rosie] Less likely if she has a care.
pen is without a care, not a car.
[Rosie] Are you implying that pen doesn't care?
Quite right. I don't. Off to Holland tomorrow. :D
Auf wiedersehen! No, wait... Bon voyage? Hang on...
Pen? Have you come back from Holland yet?
Yup, back, but 'flu. It stole my holiday.
Football, though, steals the brain, which is worse.
Flu abated, hacking cough, but still off work.
I'm always off work but have to attend.
I do not recognise this thing called "work".
Come now, chaps. Are you lost for words?
Buy me a couple of pints, I'll talk.
That wouldn't get you far in Guantanamo Bay.
Eight words. Beef pie, carrots, cauliflower, gravy. Yum.
Rosemary foccacio, terrine de campagne, raw fennel.
I must have been trying to cut down.
I have a hunger for some proper paté.
Bray's farm pork pies are the very best.
Are they Irish pork and dioxin farm pies?
They insist on only the very best dioxins.
One should always insist the dioxins are organic.
Can Flash Gordon really save the financial world?
What makes you think he'd be so inclined?
Flash! (crash) Ah ah... Saviour of the universe.
My final week at work... demob happy, wooohoooo!!!!
Luck in the Land of Wooden Shoes, penelope.
Words for the week between Christmas and NY?
"The December Sales" is their most prominent feature.
"All Month's Now Available At Knock Down Price's."
Free apostrophe every time. Whether 'needed or 'not.
Those free radicle apostrophes seem to get everywhere.
So, how is everyone finding the new year?
I looked down the back of the sofa.
The revelations of that practice can be horrific.
There's a menthol sweetie down the back of mine
Actually, I'm finding the New Year rather chilly.
It's warmed and wetted up a bit now.
Boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, junk.
Arrived. Semi-unpacked. Jeez, where will it all go?
I reckon penelope needs a new dutch name
"Peneloopij" might provide something like the right pronunciation
Thank you very much. That's just marvellous. Not.
Geen probleem peneloopij, al deel van de dienst.
Intrigued newcomer wonders: is this a clique? Click.
Nah, jump in. Tell us your trivia, Fogey.
(Fogey) Welcome, unless you are older than me.
Does that mean elder's are not welcome, Rosie?
(Softers) Nor larch's, oak's or baobab's either, chum.
Does that mean no cricket Ash's this year?
Hazel yews's birches to remain poplar and spruce?
That reminds me. I've tree writing to do.
Oak aye. (This is my first attempt here.)
I got sunburnt on a beech in cypress.
Rowan a boat on Windermere made me sycamore.
Fir goodness sake, this is getting very silly.
Ivy privet opinion that it's acacia running joke.
No snow talk in here. That's a relief.
The rain will wash away the heagonal crystals.
The nights are beginning to draw in now.
Oi! Not from where I'm standing, they're not.
Are you are removing your winter drawers already?
There must be a spring in her step.
I'll have a word with the Windy Miller.
A Dutch word or an English word, eh?
It doesn't matter. Neither will make much sense.
How about 'wainscot'? English, but with Dutch origins.
Wainscot sounds like a place in say, Oxfordshire.
Goodness me! The sun is actually shining today!
Furthermore, it is visible from the United Kingdom.
(Except for viewers in Scotland, who don't count)
Neither do they in BBC TV weather forecasts.
BBC weather forecasts show weather in the Netherlands.
Ah yes, but is it any better, pen?
No, it's usually worse. Probably get more rain.
Sublime rhyme, "weather in the Netherlands". Whither Neverland?
Neverland? Repossessed by the bank, mate. Hard Luck.
Rain and wind... I have to go out :o(
That's bad luck, the sun is shining here.
What? Even for the global tax avoidance mob?
The sun ALWAYS shines for tax avoidance mobs :o)
But they have to stand in dirty business.
Are you all currently saving up your words?
I am naturally laconic, despite the Cambrian influence.
Every word counts in the current challenging climate.
I thought words were cheap. What has changed?
A change is as good as a rest
Has anyone talked about Twitter in this game?
I don't think so. Should we start now?
I don't know. Is anyone tweeting us yet?
Is this game now "Eight Words A Week"?
Wasn't that an early song by the Beatles?
Did we resolve the Twitter issue at all?
[Software] Yes.
I'll Twitter on here. Is anyone actually interested?
By current activity, no-one will even notice, Pen.
Maybe St George will, its his day today.
On St. George's Day, I went to France.
On St Patrick's Day, America goes to pieces.
On St David's day the Welsh take a leek.
I made lemon cookies this morning. Utterly delish.
I couldn't resist a tasty inverted equilateral triangle.
Did you have custard on it, Rosie?
I was indulging in smart-arse mathematical symbolism.
I See. In France they have Triangle Amande.
Are these the last eight words here ever?
Is the Pope a bear in the woods?
What's more, does His Holiness approve of picnics?
Once upon a time there was this guy.
He became station announcer at Bristol Temple Meads.
He announced the Second Coming, but no-one listened.
A man walks into a pub, now laugh.
He should have looked where he was going.
[Rosie] Now, and just now, did I laugh.
It seems possible to cause mirth on Tuesdays.
Shall we try again tomorrow? It'll be Wednesday.
Does "it'll" count as one word or two?
It it does we both used nine. Whoooops!
Where's the Southeast England Severe Weather Event, then?
I woke up to rain, was that it?
[nfras] I think contractions've always counted as one...
....thing pregnant women would rather not think about.
Ah, yes, but prevention is better than cure.
Ten days is too long without eight words.
That's true. Where have you been then, pen?
Eindhoven, the Neunen watermills that Van Gogh painted.
Shall we continue our discrete dalliance here, pen?
So discreet, I failed to notice it, sorry.
You really know how to hurt a guy.
I trained long and hard for it, Softers
So that's why you ended up in Holland!
Yep, he was the last handsome man standing!
I feel disinclined to disturb this tender conversation.
[Rosie] You may've shattered the illusion of seclusion.
Phew, it's not just me and him anymore
If I can't see you, you're not there.
Either that, or I'm a master of disguise.
It could be dark or foggy. Those polders.
"Polder" rhymes with several other words. Like "older".
Coincidentally, I read what a polder is today.
Coincidentally? I wonder if that is really true.
So true. But then what is the truth?
[Rosie] As opposed to purposely looking it up?
(Knobbly) Er, yes. Maybe I should trust you.
Another week passes by without anyone making comment.
Perhaps it's the end move for this game.
Shall we put it out of its misery?
I think we'll miss it when it's gone.
What to do with these spare eight-word sets?
Pair them up in a sixteen word set?
Melt them down for use in other sentences?
Sell them to call centres as Good English.
Eight is too many for call centre operatives.
Anyone been watching the tennis? Short discussion mind.
No. Short enough?
Andy Murray? A loosing Scot, not winning Brit.
Brit? The word is 'Briton'. Briton! Briton! Briton!
Someone else using 'loosing' when they mean 'losing'
Perhaps he was adjusting his tight jockstrap. Geddit?
Damn spell checkers. They do not understand me.
The spellchecker has no problem with "Brit", though. :-)
The spellchecker is wrong. 'Brit' is an abbreviation.
Yeah well, Brits always say that. :-)
I think CdM is shortchanging us, don't you?
Too right. We demand ALL our words!
I have still got plenty sets of eight.
If life seems pretty rotten, there's something you've
Verboten? That seems to fit. Try again, Knobbers.
Another week has passed by; still no progress.
Not strictly true, Softers. We survived another week.
But to what end? We are but transients.
We eagerly await next week's exciting instalment, Rosie.
The Exciting Adventures of Rosie! This week: PERIL!
What's the excitement in a misspelt washing powder?
I prefer to use BALD, or sometimes TURF.
[Rosie] So, what earth-shattering happenings have outdone that?
Any ideas what to do with a Wednesday?
Hang onto Wednesday for two days. The weekend!
Can we bring Wednesday forward by one day?
That would make it Tuesday, would it not?
The Germans, calling it mittwoch, would be confused.
New news. Our ancient canary died this morning.
Oh dear. I don't know what to say.
A relief really. Poor old thing. Dun Tweeting.
penelope! Get out of the mine now!!
The sad demise of the first web-savvy canary.
Canary's demise may be due to summat else.
Maybe the canary should have quit smoking sooner.
Not a good week for canaries at all.
But a much better one for Colchester United.
[Rosie] We bask in their reflected glory. Ha!
What can one say about these Essex boys?
Use words of one syllable, whatever you do.
OK. Oh, that's blown it from the off.
What a shame you got that wrong, pen.
Another month has passed. A month nearer Christmas.
[Software] A month further from some of them.
Distant Christmasses. The present ages, the gifts go. wha?
[pen] I'm confused. Would you care to elucidate?
[Knobbers] I'm rambling without the right boots on.
Shurely there are no mountaineers in The Netherlands?
Is it all right if I play here?
Of course, provided you promise to be nice.
Hi PaulWay. Is it Friday where you are?
[PaulWay] You should be warned that people disagree about how this game should be played as well*

*More precisely, I come here and behave obnoxiously
Well, one person does. Could be two now.
...some half-hearted hyphen discussion too, though hardly contentious!
Have we discussed bracketed comments on here before?
Yes, and we decided that they should count.
Looks like there are revolutionaries in our midst
Kill them, that's what I say. Kill them!
It's Guy Fawkes Day every day in Leicester.
Leicester sounds a bit cheesy to me, though.
[Softers] Then it follows that they're communist revolutionaries.
Leicester is precisely twice as cheesy as Gloucester.
How do you able to conclude that, Rosie?
Are you referring to my cheesy humour, Rosie?
You need to double Gloucester to make cheese
North South East West Hearts Diamonds Clubs Spades
Tuj, what's that got to do with cheese?
(Phil, Software) I really meant half as cheesy.
(Rosie) You should post more caerphilly next time.
Frankly, I really do not give an Edam.
Good, because I was only shooting the Bries.
Remember that marvellous cheese game from aeons ago?
Aeons ago? Even I am not that old.
I think we'll be the judge of that.
Can I detect a tiny hint of ageism?
Ageism is unrealistic. There'll always be an earth.
A good earth is important for electrical safety.
And critical for good carrots and healthy parsnips.
I've heard of Electric Prunes but never evegetables.
And there are battery hens and Steam Nuts.
Are your battery hens rechargeable? How's it done?
Electrodes up the bum. Well, you did ask.
We have slipped from vegetables to torture methods.
Not at all. This is but benign revitalisation.
A bit like stringing beans, or chopping carrots.
I vote we kill off this dying game.
Do you not have any heart left, pen?
I've got some liver, if that's any good.
Sausages for dinner tonight, I could spare one.
Personally, I like sweetmeats and all other offal.
You can have mine, although they're already chewed.
[pen] Shurely you never had your own sweetmeats?
Two! Four! Six! Eight! Please do not self-immolate!
Why shouldn't I? This room is bloody freezing.
Because there'll be no-one to poke the fire
If I poke the fire I'll be electrocuted.
[Rosie] Do you not have a pet, say?
That is cruel unless it's an electric eel.
Is battery still cruel, even for electric eels?
Fish from my local chip shop is battery.
I bet they overcharge for it too, Rosie.
Fish and chips for tea tonight. Hurrah!
+ 'Yummy'
(Softers) Yes, but there is too much anyway.
Only two more days in Blighty before home.
Does that mean you are going Dutch again?
Nope. Fish and chips is very, very British.
Well, yet another week has passed us by.
And thus, a new week begins. What fun.
Yes, it's Monday, which means Big Band rehearsal. This is getting like Twitter.
HAI GUYS, I'M HAVING A POO! PLEASE RT!
Oh my. That certainly wasn't what I expected.
That's because you're a lady, so I'm told.
I thought that we were being Twitter. Sorry.
Don't worry nights. Any more bowel movements yet?
This game pre-dates Twitter, doesn't it? More, nights?
Nope, I've finished being stupid now. Thank goodness.
Bowel movements are one of life's simple pleasures.
A bit like stealing your neighbour's newspaper, apparently.
What, the Daily Mail? Associated with bowel movements.
Sorry, was irritated that my Libération was missing.
That just serves you right, you dangerous pinko!
Mwahahaha! Forward, socialist agenda! Sorry, got too excited.
[nights] Goodness me you're excitable! I wonder why...
Perhaps because it's nearly the weekend. Good news.
Indeed. I'll bake a thousand mince pies tomorrow.
Pen, I believe that a thousand is exaggerating.
OK, 900 is more accurate. They're hungry here.
Baking!? Surely they have M&S in Southern Dutchland?
More seriously, can you get Robertson's mincemeat there?
[INJ] Bet she makes her own. Goody Two-shoes.
I know. I hate those who out-Christmas Christmas.
Bzzzt! First "Christmas" mention. Defcon level two (/eight).
Mince pies? Yuk! Fruit cake and pudding? Bleaurgh!
Do you sell more beer at Christmas, Phil??
Christmas beer is really very good here. Mmm.
Beer is very good everywhere, except keg stuff.
But Beer in your keyboard definitely isn't good.
[penelope] Oh yes, yes, yes, very much so!
I hope there's beer in my Christmas stocking.
Wouldn't it stick all the chocolate money together?
Beer, chocolate and stockings, everything a man wants!
Actually INJers - not many women would say no :)
Sounds like a winning Christmas to me, guys.
Is it time to sing Christmas carols yet?
[Softers] No no no no no no NO!
Thank goodness for that. I don't like them.
"While Shepherds Washed Their Socks By Night", anyone?
Adeste fideles, laete triumphantes, venite, venite, in Bethlehem
Shouldn't that be "ad"? Or is that commercializing Christmas?
Don't criticise if you can't count to eight.
Two, four, six, eight. So CdM is innumerate.
*filthy spoons alert* The Whore's Bed Carol swings.
CdM's not been playing by the rule throughout.
We cannot put up with this consistent non-conformity.
Certainly not. Some sort of action is needed.
*looks innocent*
Oh no you don't, CdM, you treacherous scoundrel!
He may have the face of a cherub.
But he has the heart of a devil.
Perhaps we could nominate a translator for him?
Tuj, I think that got lost in translation.
Your fluency in Dutch has overwhelmed you, pen.
Underwhelmed more like. I have another lesson tonight.
From the Windy Miller? What sort of lesson?
One-to-one proper Dutch lesson, cancelled because of snow.
It's snowing again. I'm fed up of this.
I still love snow! But I don't drive...
Snow? You can keep it. Give me sun.
*yawns* Can we talk about something else please?
"Able acrobats aren't always adept at aquatic athletics"
But belligerent boxers behave better befriended by ballerinas
Competitive combatant cum chassé-champion combination? Complete cobblers!
Drawn-out deliberations decide delinquent débutantes' diatribes don't deserve...
Every energetic element easily emits energy each evening.
Five fresh-faced foreign fishermen found Folkestone fairly frightening.
Girls giving Greek guys gonorrhea generally go ga-ga.
Happy Helen helps her husband have his honey.
Incredible ignorance ignites indifference into implied imagined insults.
"Japanese jurisprudence justifies jailing Janis Joplin," jokes Jung.
Kindly Kurd Kirsty kissed kinky kipper killer Kelly.
Let lovable land-locked little Lesotho lure lager louts.
Moreover, most morniverse members mention many miscellaneous matters.
No nay never - Ner ner ne ner ner!
Onomatopeia obviously offers one option, only obscuring others.
Peter Piper poked people's pets, producing pitiful protestations.
"Quit Quake quickly?" queried Quentin, queuing quite quietly.
Roger Rabbit reckons Rebecca Raccoon's rear requires rogering
"Stop sniffing, Stephanie!" shouted Sister Sally, scowling sternly.
The through trains to Taunton tend to tardiness. (Chalky) Ace filth, m'dear.
Umpires' union uniformly unites unemployed umbrella undertakers, unusually. To be fair, U is not one of the easier letters.
Victor vaunted valueless Valentine's votives - vainly: Valerie vomited.
When? Where? Who? What? Why? Women worry wearilessly.
Xhosan Xavier's xanthous xenogeny, xylographer Xerxes, x-rayed xoloitzcuintles.
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Phil's effort*
xoloitzcuintles? What a distracting word! Looks vaguely smutty ;^)
Yr ydych yn ysgrifennu yn yr ystafell yma.
Hidden text = You are writing in this room.
 Someone have a go in English.
[Rosie] I'll take your word for it. Bravo!
[Audience] Thank you
[Rosie]"You yellow Yankee!" Yasmin yelled yesterday. Yves yawned.
"Zounds!" zithered zany Zaza, zeroing Zog's zesty zeal.
Well done, Raak, for not mentioning Zinedine Zidane.
Zizou? I 'ave never 'eard of eem. Zut!
Alphabet been completely done? Exciting fresh gauntlet heaved!
Hidden textanyone fancy taking on bcdefghi?
Blair carelessly disseminated equivocal facts garnering headlines internationally.
Hidden textcdefghij - is the next one
Could dear Elizabeth Fry get herself in jail?
Does elocution fusspot get huffy in Jamie's kitchen?
Ever fancied getting huge implants? Just kidding, love.
Furry gloved hands intend just kindling love, mother.
Ghastly Harry's in J.K.'s latest magic novel.
Having impressively jointed knees lets me navigate outlandishly.
I just knew last Monday's netball outcome. Psychic!
Jeremy Kyle legitimises me nodding off pretty quickly.
King Lear? Midsummer Night? Othello? Please quote regularly.
Let Midsomer Norton's older parishioners quit robust sex.
My neighbours often peek quietly 'round some trees...
Note our Prince's quirky royal standards, tremendously urbane.
Obama's persuasive questioning requires sceptics to uncover venality.
I just keep laughing, mocking niceties of play, quite regularly scorning to use VIII words
Hidden textL'esprit d'escalier makes me wish I had prefaced that with: Ah, but CdM decries eight fetish gleefully, hence...
[CdM] Disappointed that you didn't rise to the challenge of the XYZ full house...
People quaffing really strong tequila unfortunately vomit woefully.
Quite right. Strong tequila upsets, verified with x-ray.
Really sloppily, Tuj uses only four sequential letters.
This game has lost its momentum, it seems.
Well, it never really had much forward velocity.
It tends to come and go, in waves.
In that respect it seems to resemble desire.
Desire for carnal conjugation or for something else?
Perhaps for street cars, they have forward velocity.
The old Croydon trams had little of that.
Are there any famous eight-word quotations out there?
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
By definition that's surely seven and a half ;)
"Elementary, my dear Watson"
You are four words short, my dear Holmes.
Would nine words make this game more popular?
Twelve and a half percent extra? Who knows?
CdM seems to like it at any length.
Having a dirty mind, I'd say that's libellous.
Due to inflation, every move now has nine words.
All right then pen, I'll go along with that.
This introduces a whole new dimension to the game.
I find it requires a bit of extra thought.
I thought that we were still in a recession.
Perhaps we could think our way out of it.
I doubt Gordon Brown'll be around much longer
Why is that, FGZ, are you planning an assassination?
No, Software. Your last move was too long.
Au contraire, matey, for nine is the new eight. See above - confusingly, we've got bored with octality.
I graciously concede. Let us all embrace the nonality!
I don't like it, sir. Not one little bit!
[Phil] Come on man! We must all embrace change.
I agree with you entirely. Neuf est tout neuf.
[Rosie] Moi, je dis huit "Oui"s à huit. Oui?
Please could we revert to English? I'm confused.
I'd be delighted if we reverted to eight words.
I now agree, and here is the proof.
I concede I found nine a bit odd.
Nine *is* odd. That's the nature of the number!
We want nothing to do with perfect squares.
In botany, "perfect" means both male and female.
In human biology, perfect is an impossibility
Well there's perfect, and then there's too perfect.
Let us not mention the Footballer's Perfect, then.
[Rosie] There's an oxymoron if ever I saw
(Chalky) There's blood everywhere if ever I saw.
And so some more blood has been spilt.
This game is starting to resemble a slaughterhouse.
He mocks the Morniverse. Off with his head!
I mock it not. Anyway, a bank holiday
What we really need is a Bankers' Holocaust.
Is that quite similar to a hung parliament?
What's the Footballer's Perfect? Can anyone explain it please?
"The referee's given a penalty". Should be "gave."
Has given = correct. Has gave = incorrect. Rosie = tired? :^)
Octoverbal constraints, m'dear. I'd say Chalky = wind-up merchant. :-)
Time for a change of subject I think.
Does anybody fancy talking about the World Cup?
Oh God, not that. Please. Anything but that.
I am gratified that your response is so.
Good bowling, good tactics, too many South Africans?
Have we stumbled into a different world series?
In Football, New Zealand qualified. Scotland didn't. *sob*
I really like football but I've had enough.
I never really liked it to begin with.
I'm sports loopy! But I keep quiet here.
Mostly I keep everyone else quiet too *sigh*
That may be true, but does it matter?
Does anything matter? Why are we here anyway?
We are here to make eight words each.
Speak for yourself.
Oh, don't you start.
Oh not this argument again!
Clearly it is.
Come, come, Morniversers and let's stop pissing about.
[Rosie] Isn't that exactly what we're here for?
It might be why you are here, Tuj.
We must piss about in an orderly manner.
[Rosie] Surely that is an oxymoron, isn't it?
Not necessarily. Think of it as Bounded Chaos.
Complex, seemingly random conversations that actually have patterns?
Nine has four sides; it's both male and female.
Mine has four sides; it is mostly male.
[Rosie] Are you sure that's the right game?
Does it matter so long as we play?
Yes, let's play the game, no nit picking.
Knit picking is just what I do, though.
If you pick nits, it means you remove lice, right?
No, you may just choose them. Restoring the 8-word average.
[Rosie] How do you expect me to choose?
Anyone for eight concurrent games of Cheddar Gorge?
Shall I lead? Dear Sir or Madam; Please
find enclosed an affidavit from His Excellency, The
Most Delectable Lord High Milkman of Chesterfield, who
is
currently undergoing treatment for a condition that may (CdM) Predictable.
, under certain circumstances, lead to a considerably worse
state of economic decline in relation to the
Milk Marketing Board's recent disastrous adoption of the
zloty than even the most zealous and hardline
members of the communist party (North Cheam branch)
would have believed possible, and I therefore request
That this game of cheddar be concluded immediately.
Well, that was fun, but rather too easy.
How about eight concurrent games, to end simultaneously?
{Raak] an interesting concept but probably quite tricky.
Especially if each "row" must also make sense.
That's actually what I suggested. Worth a try?
Yes. Here goes: There are three different ways
For some people that have strange ideas about
Making their way through the narrow supermarket aisles
[4]"Beware the tungsten death aardvark," said the man,
who was leaning against the stack of pineapples.
brought from the tropics only two days ago
seafood from there is not safe to eat
as the oil spill is out of control.
I guess the full stop means it's finished.
Shall we continue as before, making frivolous observations?
Why don't we start a new consecutive Cheddars?
I think that's a good (but cheesy) idea.
I like cheesy flavoured food, especially real cheese.
Spray cans do not have that original taste
You are not supposed to eat the can.
Let us start a new topic of conversation.
My computer wants to eat my sister, Giertrud.
My sister seems to be sure of this.
Are you two related? Do you share sisters?
[penelope] They may not but I do sometimes.
Giertrud is my younger, and very weird, sister.
I am playing with my sister's dog, Woofles.
Don't forget that the computer is very hungry.
That means the computer wants a Big Mac.
Stand Back! I'm raiding the office biscuit tin.
Feed the ginger nuts to the computer, pen.
I try, but the mouse gets them first.
Well, pen, what you need is a cat
A coarse-furred and fearsome beast called Boris, say.
Boris, is that like Bluto from Popeye cartoons?
That image is going to stick with me!
Bluto was a pussycat really, so to speak.
Yeah, he had to play soft for Olive.
Your olives are soft? Cooked them too long!
I think Giertrud started with the double entendres.
Today is an august occasion, last of many.
Don't be so Septemberish. Think of the autumn!
We now have Rs in the month again.
Also numbers in Latin. August should be Sexber.
I'm confused. When would my birthday be then?
(pen) January or February? Then Undecember or Duodecember.
Today's 90210. Did you watch Beverly Hills?
T'was only 90210 in America... Day first, please!
American's had 9/11, we had 7/7. Avoids confusion.
But 7-11 is a convenience store. Free slurpees?
'Slurpees'? Now who is on the double entendres?
Actually, today in Britain it's 8/9/10 - that works.
I only know "slurpee" as a cold drink.
Sounds more like one at body heat (coat!)
Body heat, 37 degrees, Taraval, Parkside San Francisco
Don't they use Fahrenheit scale in San Fran?
Maybe he means cold-blooded creatures such as fish.
You mean Shion Sono's new movie "Cold Fish"?
>I have never even heard of this movie!
I've heard of the movie called "Catfish," though.
Plus, I have also heard of "Big Fish."
'Big Fish' are only ever figments of imagination.
Yes, my mate never caught a thirty-pound carp.
What's that Rosie? You do nothing but carp.
I perch, being a Norwegian Blue, albeit dead.
I goldfish. That is, I fish for gold.
I hake. Hall over. It's the Harthritis. Houch!
I kip, therefore I must be a kipper.
I've just had my shoes soled and eeled.
I hear sea shanties. Must be someone's Icod.
Speak up, Rosie, my herring's not so good.
(Softers) Surely you can still hear the bass.
(Rosie) No, mate, I have a bad cod.
Maybe you need the drumming of Max Roach.
Ah, Fish puns, fish puns, roly-poly fish puns!
I dolphin-ately am enjoying this bit of luna-sea.
Isn't it a great song, Salmon Chanted Evening.
Another song beckons: Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
[Phil] It's neither the time nor the plaice...
Maybe it's time to get our skates on.
I'd better take my mackerel I'll get soaked.
[Porter!] Even if I'm accompanied by Colin Sell?
Not even John Dory would make any difference.
I think Nemo would take offense at these.
Not even eight words all weekend. Why not?
Perhaps there has been an overtime ban, pen.
Overtime schmovertime. There's always eight words to spare!
Feel free to borrow any of these ones.
Right, I will go for a "feel" then.
Good man. Do not bypass the gentlemanly preliminaries.
Software, somebody might want to "cop a feel."
Perhaps someone'd also like to feel a cop.
Yes, certain people like a bit of helmet.
Well, I think that can't be capped, Rosie
Could be if it were a welfare benefit.
Also if it spouted oil, thus aiding lubrication.
Or played cricket, rugby or a sitting-down game
Or were getting on in years a bit.
You and me, Rosie, but what about others?
Don't worry. We're getting older all the time.
'There's no turning back' said the forward thinker
Stopped clock is right two times a day.
What's the time being we do things for?
Has anyone got an idea for a game?
Pheasant. A very tasty game.
Oh bugger, mixed up haiku and eight words.
And too bold, too bold, too bold! Arse.
And there isn't even a haiku game here.
Except one with word count: eight, eight, eight
This game is very good. Carry on chaps.
That would seem to exclude penelope. Won't do.
*chaps it up with the best of them*
We cannot have sex or gender discrimination here!
*wonders about the difference between sex and gender*
*gives INJ a lesson on birds and bees*
Phew. Back to birds. Pheasant, a tasty game.
Constabulary. Also known as piggery. Full of filthiness.
Eight word haikus could become quite the thing.
Sex and gender are different: Learned in college.
Also, would be left out if only chaps.
Revisit Phil's words. Consider gauntlet taken. Excellent challenge!
They taught you sex in college? How worrying!
They teach each other about sex in college.
Forget the sex! Eight word haiku's the thing.
Poetry shmoetry! Give me sex every time, mate.
Club called VOX wanted to teach safe sex.
Garden waste in Esher is placed in secks.
Now even the Pope is promoting safe sex.
Garden waste in Escher goes in Klein bottles.
(Raak) In Klein bottles? What does that mean? otherwise v good BTW
A non-orientable surface with no "inner" or "outer" sides.
Whoops. For a mathematician I'm rubbish at counting.
[Felix Klein] That makes you a qualified accountant.
(pen) Or a member of a musical ensemble.
Have an accountant friend: says, "But that's math!"
(Rosie) I like ensembles that sing birthday songs.
There are, I understand, three kinds of mathematician.
No, 10. Those who understand binary / the rest.
[INJ] Thunder stealing is neither big nor clever, sir!
Three kinds of people: Can count, can't count.
That's the funniest thing you've said all year.
Well, the year is nearly over, isn't it?
I hate saving the best until last.
Snow, snow, snow... when will it ever end?
Snow, of course, ends with the letter W!
There's no snow here in Lake Charles, LA!
It has ended here. The sun is shining.
[Softers] What has ended? The week? The silliness?
[pen] Whatever floats your boat, I would say.
The existence of buoyancy has ended? Oh my.
[Tuj] Aye. Anyone else getting that sinking feeling?
If the Netherlands sink any further they'll disappear.
Dam it, that's what I say, dam it.
Know what I say? Leave it to beavers.
Which body of water do you want dammed?
Damn the lot of them. Damn you all!!!!
I say, pen, this is most unlike you.
It is probably the stress of seasonal shopping.
Dutch shops are utterly useless for Christmas shopping.
Yes, after Sinter Klaus they are bought out.
There was never anything interesting in them anyway!
Not even caps? They can always be useful.
Too many big box stores in the USA.
Is a 'box store' a cash and carry?
More like a smash and grab, I think.
I think in the UK, they are ASDA?
I would want to get outta ASDA ASAP.
Why? I quite like ADSA. Better than Tesco.
You ain't seen a Dutch supermarket yet, chaps.
Yes I have. I do quite like Vla.
It's just cold custard! Gullible, gullible, lemon gullible.
Also comes in chocolate flavoured gullible. Syrup waffles!
Stroop wafels - yeah, especially fresh and still warm.
Misheard lyrics: Windmill cookies, they'll give you gonorrhea!
Uh? Gier? You okay? Stroopwafels - cookies in USA.
Sometimes, people just don't make senseto me.
I don't even know what "senseto" means
Me neither. Any other buggers got any clues?
sen-se-to: Japanese art of making much with little.
'Twould be quite different making mulch with little.
Sen-se-o: Art of pretentious coffeemaking using expensive gadget.
Ooh, Sen-sei: Line from a cancelled Carry-on film.
Pen, I thought that had the name Starbucks.
Not many in this Dutch nation of coffee-drinkers.
Pen, would that be Sterdollar or something similar?
Doncha know Europe uses Euros, not dollars, Giertrud?
Not all of Europe: Great Britain has pounds.
I know. I'm British, living in continental Europe.
You just have to admire the Swiss though
Phil, on what basis do you admire them?
They roll extremely jammily, whilst yodelling folk songs?
They make extremely good knives for their army?
Own up - what have you done with Rosie?
She was absolutely delicious served on buttered toast.
[GGZS] Deffo wasn't you. Rosie is a he.
Ros-he? Well then, who was it I ate?
(FGZstar) Not female - not young either. See here.
So merely a confusing choice of name, then.
No, perfectly logical when you know his name.
Re: Swiss - well, there's the Geneva bus system
I happen to like the chocolate Swiss rolls.
Well, does the Geneva bus system bus tables?
Does the previous sentence have a word missing?
No. It uses the American verb 'to bus'.
'Twas an American who said "Verbing weirds nouns."
But isn't it an adjective that's been weirded?
"to bus" is a back formation from "busboy"
"busboy" itself seems to come from "omnibus boy"
"omnibus" being Latin for "for everything", of course
Ahem, I think in this case "for everybody".
Latin aside, what else is new and interesting?
Shall we discuss the upcoming Oscars luvvy parade?
Only if I can register my supreme indifference.
No registrations are being taken at this time.
Oh, good. That means you can park anywhere.
Even on a cloud up in the sky?
Virtual parking? The government will surely tax it.
Croydon Council even taxes virtuous parking, the bastards.
Gives them something to feel good about, probably.
My telescope objective is free from spherical aberration.
Nice to know. How's your belly for spots?
A spot on my belly meant chicken pox.
Hummmph! Now you've spread contagion into the game!
Coughs and sneezes spread diseases, so they say.
There are many agreeable ways of infecting people.
Sharks with laser beams is NOT a method!
Sharks with laser beams is from Austin Powers.
Sharks with bank accounts are from Austin, Texas
Pleased to report windy miller much improved today.
(pen) Good. May his quixotic pursuits continue unabated.
The sun is shining bright. Well here, anyway.
(Softers) Here also. Shows up all the dust.
Here too. I had to clean the windows.
(pen) Did you play your jolly ukulele simultaneously?
[Rosie] The strings sound funny when they're wet.
(pen) They would, like those of pub pianos.
Eight words for April, anyone? Someone? We're desperate.
How about: where are all the April showers?
They are biding their time, menacingly, until summer.
We've already had at least three of them.
A big storm came through Lake Charles, LA.
We need April flannels and April soap, too.
Time for your spring clean, Giertrud? Have fun!
April flannels? Surely it's too early for cricket?
Not at all. Durham was playing on Sunday.
Summer comes early to East and West Hartlepool.
Right. I'm off to work. Happy Friday, folks.
Ha! Work. The state pays me not to.
[Rosie] Can't wait, only 1038 days to go.
A mere youth. Friday fortnight I'll be 25,000.
I'm sailing back to Blighty on Wednesday - hurrah!
I'm sailing to France on Friday, hurrah too!
[software] Me too. A full wedding avoidance week.
As usual during the day, the telly's off.
I will be sipping beer and relaxing, myself.
Oh? Wedding Avoidance? Is someone getting married? (heh!)
My Union flag will fly in our straat
Unfortunately, even the French television will cover it.
Gier, don't act like you are not interested.
You know I'm being sarcastic -- teasing the Brits!
Brits are notorious for misunderstanding sarcasm...and irony.
I fail to see the irony in that.
As regards sunsets, coppery is better than irony.
Isn't irony what British humour is mostly about?
(Knobbly) I assume that is third-order irony.
Most British humour is lavatorial, isn't it? *snigger*
That is why it's gone down the pan.
Right down the pan, just ask Mervyn King.
I wish I had gone to bed earlier.
pen, where you tired or for another reason?
Regularly in bed too late, always up early :o(
It's been the driest spring since records began.
Hidden textMy records, that is, so 1983.
In Surrey, maybe. In Jersey only number two.
Sounds nice; I have always fancied desiccated rock.
Rain at last. Wish it would go away.
Same here. Least the drought warning's been lifted.
Why can I not stop thinking of doughnuts?
<mode="Homer">Mmmmmmm... Doughnuts</mode>
For completeness, please say 'doughnuts' three more times.
Doughnuts doughnuts doughnuts. Happy now?
[CdM], That is not eight words all at once.
I guess New Jersey takes after Old Jersey.
CdM doesn't need to count; he's an economist.
In this game, CdM's entries just don't count.
New Jersey is much bigger than Old Jersey.
Old jersey has probably shrunk in the wash.
Not just Old Jerseys. My new-ish one shrank.
I imagine that would enhance your delightful contours.
[K] "Eight words all at once." Now are you happy?
I don't know about you, but I am.
I'm happy enough, for now. No particular reason.
I'm not very happy; but that's my problem.
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