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Each Move Must Consist Of Precisely Eight Words
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Just as it says on the tin. What happens in the game may be debated in the game: perhaps it'll be a conversation, perhaps a word-limited reprise of various games we play, or whatever.
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I think Tuj's real name is John Major.
Who are you calling Major in here, Rosie?
[Rosie] That's hard for a twenty-one-year-old to take!
Fair enough, I never fancied Edwina Curry either.
Nor me, but maybe she's a good shag.
Change of subject. My, what a gloomy weekend.
I appear to have lost a vowel somewhere.
I expect you left it on the train.
[Rosie] Less likely if she has a care.
pen is without a care, not a car.
[Rosie] Are you implying that pen doesn't care?
Quite right. I don't. Off to Holland tomorrow. :D
Auf wiedersehen! No, wait... Bon voyage? Hang on...
Pen? Have you come back from Holland yet?
Yup, back, but 'flu. It stole my holiday.
Football, though, steals the brain, which is worse.
Flu abated, hacking cough, but still off work.
I'm always off work but have to attend.
I do not recognise this thing called "work".
Come now, chaps. Are you lost for words?
Buy me a couple of pints, I'll talk.
That wouldn't get you far in Guantanamo Bay.
Eight words. Beef pie, carrots, cauliflower, gravy. Yum.
Rosemary foccacio, terrine de campagne, raw fennel.
I must have been trying to cut down.
I have a hunger for some proper paté.
Bray's farm pork pies are the very best.
Are they Irish pork and dioxin farm pies?
They insist on only the very best dioxins.
One should always insist the dioxins are organic.
Can Flash Gordon really save the financial world?
What makes you think he'd be so inclined?
Flash! (crash) Ah ah... Saviour of the universe.
My final week at work... demob happy, wooohoooo!!!!
Luck in the Land of Wooden Shoes, penelope.
Words for the week between Christmas and NY?
"The December Sales" is their most prominent feature.
"All Month's Now Available At Knock Down Price's."
Free apostrophe every time. Whether 'needed or 'not.
Those free radicle apostrophes seem to get everywhere.
So, how is everyone finding the new year?
I looked down the back of the sofa.
The revelations of that practice can be horrific.
There's a menthol sweetie down the back of mine
Actually, I'm finding the New Year rather chilly.
It's warmed and wetted up a bit now.
Boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, junk.
Arrived. Semi-unpacked. Jeez, where will it all go?
I reckon penelope needs a new dutch name
"Peneloopij" might provide something like the right pronunciation
Thank you very much. That's just marvellous. Not.
Geen probleem peneloopij, al deel van de dienst.
Intrigued newcomer wonders: is this a clique? Click.
Nah, jump in. Tell us your trivia, Fogey.
(Fogey) Welcome, unless you are older than me.
Does that mean elder's are not welcome, Rosie?
(Softers) Nor larch's, oak's or baobab's either, chum.
Does that mean no cricket Ash's this year?
Hazel yews's birches to remain poplar and spruce?
That reminds me. I've tree writing to do.
Oak aye. (This is my first attempt here.)
I got sunburnt on a beech in cypress.
Rowan a boat on Windermere made me sycamore.
Fir goodness sake, this is getting very silly.
Ivy privet opinion that it's acacia running joke.
No snow talk in here. That's a relief.
The rain will wash away the heagonal crystals.
The nights are beginning to draw in now.
Oi! Not from where I'm standing, they're not.
Are you are removing your winter drawers already?
There must be a spring in her step.
I'll have a word with the Windy Miller.
A Dutch word or an English word, eh?
It doesn't matter. Neither will make much sense.
How about 'wainscot'? English, but with Dutch origins.
Wainscot sounds like a place in say, Oxfordshire.
Goodness me! The sun is actually shining today!
Furthermore, it is visible from the United Kingdom.
(Except for viewers in Scotland, who don't count)
Neither do they in BBC TV weather forecasts.
BBC weather forecasts show weather in the Netherlands.
Ah yes, but is it any better, pen?
No, it's usually worse. Probably get more rain.
Sublime rhyme, "weather in the Netherlands". Whither Neverland?
Neverland? Repossessed by the bank, mate. Hard Luck.
Rain and wind... I have to go out :o(
That's bad luck, the sun is shining here.
What? Even for the global tax avoidance mob?
The sun ALWAYS shines for tax avoidance mobs :o)
But they have to stand in dirty business.
Are you all currently saving up your words?
I am naturally laconic, despite the Cambrian influence.
Every word counts in the current challenging climate.
I thought words were cheap. What has changed?
A change is as good as a rest
Has anyone talked about Twitter in this game?
I don't think so. Should we start now?
I don't know. Is anyone tweeting us yet?
Is this game now "Eight Words A Week"?
Wasn't that an early song by the Beatles?
Did we resolve the Twitter issue at all?
[Software] Yes.
I'll Twitter on here. Is anyone actually interested?
By current activity, no-one will even notice, Pen.
Maybe St George will, its his day today.
On St. George's Day, I went to France.
On St Patrick's Day, America goes to pieces.
On St David's day the Welsh take a leek.
I made lemon cookies this morning. Utterly delish.
I couldn't resist a tasty inverted equilateral triangle.
Did you have custard on it, Rosie?
I was indulging in smart-arse mathematical symbolism.
I See. In France they have Triangle Amande.
Are these the last eight words here ever?
Is the Pope a bear in the woods?
What's more, does His Holiness approve of picnics?
Once upon a time there was this guy.
He became station announcer at Bristol Temple Meads.
He announced the Second Coming, but no-one listened.
A man walks into a pub, now laugh.
He should have looked where he was going.
[Rosie] Now, and just now, did I laugh.
It seems possible to cause mirth on Tuesdays.
Shall we try again tomorrow? It'll be Wednesday.
Does "it'll" count as one word or two?
It it does we both used nine. Whoooops!
Where's the Southeast England Severe Weather Event, then?
I woke up to rain, was that it?
[nfras] I think contractions've always counted as one...
....thing pregnant women would rather not think about.
Ah, yes, but prevention is better than cure.
Ten days is too long without eight words.
That's true. Where have you been then, pen?
Eindhoven, the Neunen watermills that Van Gogh painted.
Shall we continue our discrete dalliance here, pen?
So discreet, I failed to notice it, sorry.
You really know how to hurt a guy.
I trained long and hard for it, Softers
So that's why you ended up in Holland!
Yep, he was the last handsome man standing!
I feel disinclined to disturb this tender conversation.
[Rosie] You may've shattered the illusion of seclusion.
Phew, it's not just me and him anymore
If I can't see you, you're not there.
Either that, or I'm a master of disguise.
It could be dark or foggy. Those polders.
"Polder" rhymes with several other words. Like "older".
Coincidentally, I read what a polder is today.
Coincidentally? I wonder if that is really true.
So true. But then what is the truth?
[Rosie] As opposed to purposely looking it up?
(Knobbly) Er, yes. Maybe I should trust you.
Another week passes by without anyone making comment.
Perhaps it's the end move for this game.
Shall we put it out of its misery?
I think we'll miss it when it's gone.
What to do with these spare eight-word sets?
Pair them up in a sixteen word set?
Melt them down for use in other sentences?
Sell them to call centres as Good English.
Eight is too many for call centre operatives.
Anyone been watching the tennis? Short discussion mind.
No. Short enough?
Andy Murray? A loosing Scot, not winning Brit.
Brit? The word is 'Briton'. Briton! Briton! Briton!
Someone else using 'loosing' when they mean 'losing'
Perhaps he was adjusting his tight jockstrap. Geddit?
Damn spell checkers. They do not understand me.
The spellchecker has no problem with "Brit", though. :-)
The spellchecker is wrong. 'Brit' is an abbreviation.
Yeah well, Brits always say that. :-)
I think CdM is shortchanging us, don't you?
Too right. We demand ALL our words!
I have still got plenty sets of eight.
If life seems pretty rotten, there's something you've
Verboten? That seems to fit. Try again, Knobbers.
Another week has passed by; still no progress.
Not strictly true, Softers. We survived another week.
But to what end? We are but transients.
We eagerly await next week's exciting instalment, Rosie.
The Exciting Adventures of Rosie! This week: PERIL!
What's the excitement in a misspelt washing powder?
I prefer to use BALD, or sometimes TURF.
[Rosie] So, what earth-shattering happenings have outdone that?
Any ideas what to do with a Wednesday?
Hang onto Wednesday for two days. The weekend!
Can we bring Wednesday forward by one day?
That would make it Tuesday, would it not?
The Germans, calling it mittwoch, would be confused.
New news. Our ancient canary died this morning.
Oh dear. I don't know what to say.
A relief really. Poor old thing. Dun Tweeting.
penelope! Get out of the mine now!!
The sad demise of the first web-savvy canary.
Canary's demise may be due to summat else.
Maybe the canary should have quit smoking sooner.
Not a good week for canaries at all.
But a much better one for Colchester United.
[Rosie] We bask in their reflected glory. Ha!
What can one say about these Essex boys?
Use words of one syllable, whatever you do.
OK. Oh, that's blown it from the off.
What a shame you got that wrong, pen.
Another month has passed. A month nearer Christmas.
[Software] A month further from some of them.
Distant Christmasses. The present ages, the gifts go. wha?
[pen] I'm confused. Would you care to elucidate?
[Knobbers] I'm rambling without the right boots on.
Shurely there are no mountaineers in The Netherlands?
Is it all right if I play here?
Of course, provided you promise to be nice.
Hi PaulWay. Is it Friday where you are?
[PaulWay] You should be warned that people disagree about how this game should be played as well*

*More precisely, I come here and behave obnoxiously
Well, one person does. Could be two now.
...some half-hearted hyphen discussion too, though hardly contentious!
Have we discussed bracketed comments on here before?
Yes, and we decided that they should count.
Looks like there are revolutionaries in our midst
Kill them, that's what I say. Kill them!
It's Guy Fawkes Day every day in Leicester.
Leicester sounds a bit cheesy to me, though.
[Softers] Then it follows that they're communist revolutionaries.
Leicester is precisely twice as cheesy as Gloucester.
How do you able to conclude that, Rosie?
Are you referring to my cheesy humour, Rosie?
You need to double Gloucester to make cheese
North South East West Hearts Diamonds Clubs Spades
Tuj, what's that got to do with cheese?
(Phil, Software) I really meant half as cheesy.
(Rosie) You should post more caerphilly next time.
Frankly, I really do not give an Edam.
Good, because I was only shooting the Bries.
Remember that marvellous cheese game from aeons ago?
Aeons ago? Even I am not that old.
I think we'll be the judge of that.
Can I detect a tiny hint of ageism?
Ageism is unrealistic. There'll always be an earth.
A good earth is important for electrical safety.
And critical for good carrots and healthy parsnips.
I've heard of Electric Prunes but never evegetables.
And there are battery hens and Steam Nuts.
Are your battery hens rechargeable? How's it done?
Electrodes up the bum. Well, you did ask.
We have slipped from vegetables to torture methods.
Not at all. This is but benign revitalisation.
A bit like stringing beans, or chopping carrots.
I vote we kill off this dying game.
Do you not have any heart left, pen?
I've got some liver, if that's any good.
Sausages for dinner tonight, I could spare one.
Personally, I like sweetmeats and all other offal.
You can have mine, although they're already chewed.
[pen] Shurely you never had your own sweetmeats?
Two! Four! Six! Eight! Please do not self-immolate!
Why shouldn't I? This room is bloody freezing.
Because there'll be no-one to poke the fire
If I poke the fire I'll be electrocuted.
[Rosie] Do you not have a pet, say?
That is cruel unless it's an electric eel.
Is battery still cruel, even for electric eels?
Fish from my local chip shop is battery.
I bet they overcharge for it too, Rosie.
Fish and chips for tea tonight. Hurrah!
+ 'Yummy'
(Softers) Yes, but there is too much anyway.
Only two more days in Blighty before home.
Does that mean you are going Dutch again?
Nope. Fish and chips is very, very British.
Well, yet another week has passed us by.
And thus, a new week begins. What fun.
Yes, it's Monday, which means Big Band rehearsal. This is getting like Twitter.
HAI GUYS, I'M HAVING A POO! PLEASE RT!
Oh my. That certainly wasn't what I expected.
That's because you're a lady, so I'm told.
I thought that we were being Twitter. Sorry.
Don't worry nights. Any more bowel movements yet?
This game pre-dates Twitter, doesn't it? More, nights?
Nope, I've finished being stupid now. Thank goodness.
Bowel movements are one of life's simple pleasures.
A bit like stealing your neighbour's newspaper, apparently.
What, the Daily Mail? Associated with bowel movements.
Sorry, was irritated that my Libération was missing.
That just serves you right, you dangerous pinko!
Mwahahaha! Forward, socialist agenda! Sorry, got too excited.
[nights] Goodness me you're excitable! I wonder why...
Perhaps because it's nearly the weekend. Good news.
Indeed. I'll bake a thousand mince pies tomorrow.
Pen, I believe that a thousand is exaggerating.
OK, 900 is more accurate. They're hungry here.
Baking!? Surely they have M&S in Southern Dutchland?
More seriously, can you get Robertson's mincemeat there?
[INJ] Bet she makes her own. Goody Two-shoes.
I know. I hate those who out-Christmas Christmas.
Bzzzt! First "Christmas" mention. Defcon level two (/eight).
Mince pies? Yuk! Fruit cake and pudding? Bleaurgh!
Do you sell more beer at Christmas, Phil??
Christmas beer is really very good here. Mmm.
Beer is very good everywhere, except keg stuff.
But Beer in your keyboard definitely isn't good.
[penelope] Oh yes, yes, yes, very much so!
I hope there's beer in my Christmas stocking.
Wouldn't it stick all the chocolate money together?
Beer, chocolate and stockings, everything a man wants!
Actually INJers - not many women would say no :)
Sounds like a winning Christmas to me, guys.
Is it time to sing Christmas carols yet?
[Softers] No no no no no no NO!
Thank goodness for that. I don't like them.
"While Shepherds Washed Their Socks By Night", anyone?
Adeste fideles, laete triumphantes, venite, venite, in Bethlehem
Shouldn't that be "ad"? Or is that commercializing Christmas?
Don't criticise if you can't count to eight.
Two, four, six, eight. So CdM is innumerate.
*filthy spoons alert* The Whore's Bed Carol swings.
CdM's not been playing by the rule throughout.
We cannot put up with this consistent non-conformity.
Certainly not. Some sort of action is needed.
*looks innocent*
Oh no you don't, CdM, you treacherous scoundrel!
He may have the face of a cherub.
But he has the heart of a devil.
Perhaps we could nominate a translator for him?
Tuj, I think that got lost in translation.
Your fluency in Dutch has overwhelmed you, pen.
Underwhelmed more like. I have another lesson tonight.
From the Windy Miller? What sort of lesson?
One-to-one proper Dutch lesson, cancelled because of snow.
It's snowing again. I'm fed up of this.
I still love snow! But I don't drive...
Snow? You can keep it. Give me sun.
*yawns* Can we talk about something else please?
"Able acrobats aren't always adept at aquatic athletics"
But belligerent boxers behave better befriended by ballerinas
Competitive combatant cum chassé-champion combination? Complete cobblers!
Drawn-out deliberations decide delinquent débutantes' diatribes don't deserve...
Every energetic element easily emits energy each evening.
Five fresh-faced foreign fishermen found Folkestone fairly frightening.
Girls giving Greek guys gonorrhea generally go ga-ga.
Happy Helen helps her husband have his honey.
Incredible ignorance ignites indifference into implied imagined insults.
"Japanese jurisprudence justifies jailing Janis Joplin," jokes Jung.
Kindly Kurd Kirsty kissed kinky kipper killer Kelly.
Let lovable land-locked little Lesotho lure lager louts.
Moreover, most morniverse members mention many miscellaneous matters.
No nay never - Ner ner ne ner ner!
Onomatopeia obviously offers one option, only obscuring others.
Peter Piper poked people's pets, producing pitiful protestations.
"Quit Quake quickly?" queried Quentin, queuing quite quietly.
Roger Rabbit reckons Rebecca Raccoon's rear requires rogering
"Stop sniffing, Stephanie!" shouted Sister Sally, scowling sternly.
The through trains to Taunton tend to tardiness. (Chalky) Ace filth, m'dear.
Umpires' union uniformly unites unemployed umbrella undertakers, unusually. To be fair, U is not one of the easier letters.
Victor vaunted valueless Valentine's votives - vainly: Valerie vomited.
When? Where? Who? What? Why? Women worry wearilessly.
Xhosan Xavier's xanthous xenogeny, xylographer Xerxes, x-rayed xoloitzcuintles.
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Phil's effort*
xoloitzcuintles? What a distracting word! Looks vaguely smutty ;^)
Yr ydych yn ysgrifennu yn yr ystafell yma.
Hidden text = You are writing in this room.
 Someone have a go in English.
[Rosie] I'll take your word for it. Bravo!
[Audience] Thank you
[Rosie]"You yellow Yankee!" Yasmin yelled yesterday. Yves yawned.
"Zounds!" zithered zany Zaza, zeroing Zog's zesty zeal.
Well done, Raak, for not mentioning Zinedine Zidane.
Zizou? I 'ave never 'eard of eem. Zut!
Alphabet been completely done? Exciting fresh gauntlet heaved!
Hidden textanyone fancy taking on bcdefghi?
Blair carelessly disseminated equivocal facts garnering headlines internationally.
Hidden textcdefghij - is the next one
Could dear Elizabeth Fry get herself in jail?
Does elocution fusspot get huffy in Jamie's kitchen?
Ever fancied getting huge implants? Just kidding, love.
Furry gloved hands intend just kindling love, mother.
Ghastly Harry's in J.K.'s latest magic novel.
Having impressively jointed knees lets me navigate outlandishly.
I just knew last Monday's netball outcome. Psychic!
Jeremy Kyle legitimises me nodding off pretty quickly.
King Lear? Midsummer Night? Othello? Please quote regularly.
Let Midsomer Norton's older parishioners quit robust sex.
My neighbours often peek quietly 'round some trees...
Note our Prince's quirky royal standards, tremendously urbane.
Obama's persuasive questioning requires sceptics to uncover venality.
I just keep laughing, mocking niceties of play, quite regularly scorning to use VIII words
Hidden textL'esprit d'escalier makes me wish I had prefaced that with: Ah, but CdM decries eight fetish gleefully, hence...
[CdM] Disappointed that you didn't rise to the challenge of the XYZ full house...
People quaffing really strong tequila unfortunately vomit woefully.
Quite right. Strong tequila upsets, verified with x-ray.
Really sloppily, Tuj uses only four sequential letters.
This game has lost its momentum, it seems.
Well, it never really had much forward velocity.
It tends to come and go, in waves.
In that respect it seems to resemble desire.
Desire for carnal conjugation or for something else?
Perhaps for street cars, they have forward velocity.
The old Croydon trams had little of that.
Are there any famous eight-word quotations out there?
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
By definition that's surely seven and a half ;)
"Elementary, my dear Watson"
You are four words short, my dear Holmes.
Would nine words make this game more popular?
Twelve and a half percent extra? Who knows?
CdM seems to like it at any length.
Having a dirty mind, I'd say that's libellous.
Due to inflation, every move now has nine words.
All right then pen, I'll go along with that.
This introduces a whole new dimension to the game.
I find it requires a bit of extra thought.
I thought that we were still in a recession.
Perhaps we could think our way out of it.
I doubt Gordon Brown'll be around much longer
Why is that, FGZ, are you planning an assassination?
No, Software. Your last move was too long.
Au contraire, matey, for nine is the new eight. See above - confusingly, we've got bored with octality.
I graciously concede. Let us all embrace the nonality!
I don't like it, sir. Not one little bit!
[Phil] Come on man! We must all embrace change.
I agree with you entirely. Neuf est tout neuf.
[Rosie] Moi, je dis huit "Oui"s à huit. Oui?
Please could we revert to English? I'm confused.
I'd be delighted if we reverted to eight words.
I now agree, and here is the proof.
I concede I found nine a bit odd.
Nine *is* odd. That's the nature of the number!
We want nothing to do with perfect squares.
In botany, "perfect" means both male and female.
In human biology, perfect is an impossibility
Well there's perfect, and then there's too perfect.
Let us not mention the Footballer's Perfect, then.
[Rosie] There's an oxymoron if ever I saw
(Chalky) There's blood everywhere if ever I saw.
And so some more blood has been spilt.
This game is starting to resemble a slaughterhouse.
He mocks the Morniverse. Off with his head!
I mock it not. Anyway, a bank holiday
What we really need is a Bankers' Holocaust.
Is that quite similar to a hung parliament?
What's the Footballer's Perfect? Can anyone explain it please?
"The referee's given a penalty". Should be "gave."
Has given = correct. Has gave = incorrect. Rosie = tired? :^)
Octoverbal constraints, m'dear. I'd say Chalky = wind-up merchant. :-)
Time for a change of subject I think.
Does anybody fancy talking about the World Cup?
Oh God, not that. Please. Anything but that.
I am gratified that your response is so.
Good bowling, good tactics, too many South Africans?
Have we stumbled into a different world series?
In Football, New Zealand qualified. Scotland didn't. *sob*
I really like football but I've had enough.
I never really liked it to begin with.
I'm sports loopy! But I keep quiet here.
Mostly I keep everyone else quiet too *sigh*
That may be true, but does it matter?
Does anything matter? Why are we here anyway?
We are here to make eight words each.
Speak for yourself.
Oh, don't you start.
Oh not this argument again!
Clearly it is.
Come, come, Morniversers and let's stop pissing about.
[Rosie] Isn't that exactly what we're here for?
It might be why you are here, Tuj.
We must piss about in an orderly manner.
[Rosie] Surely that is an oxymoron, isn't it?
Not necessarily. Think of it as Bounded Chaos.
Complex, seemingly random conversations that actually have patterns?
Nine has four sides; it's both male and female.
Mine has four sides; it is mostly male.
[Rosie] Are you sure that's the right game?
Does it matter so long as we play?
Yes, let's play the game, no nit picking.
Knit picking is just what I do, though.
If you pick nits, it means you remove lice, right?
No, you may just choose them. Restoring the 8-word average.
[Rosie] How do you expect me to choose?
Anyone for eight concurrent games of Cheddar Gorge?
Shall I lead? Dear Sir or Madam; Please
find enclosed an affidavit from His Excellency, The
Most Delectable Lord High Milkman of Chesterfield, who
is
currently undergoing treatment for a condition that may (CdM) Predictable.
, under certain circumstances, lead to a considerably worse
state of economic decline in relation to the
Milk Marketing Board's recent disastrous adoption of the
zloty than even the most zealous and hardline
members of the communist party (North Cheam branch)
would have believed possible, and I therefore request
That this game of cheddar be concluded immediately.
Well, that was fun, but rather too easy.
How about eight concurrent games, to end simultaneously?
{Raak] an interesting concept but probably quite tricky.
Especially if each "row" must also make sense.
That's actually what I suggested. Worth a try?
Yes. Here goes: There are three different ways
For some people that have strange ideas about
Making their way through the narrow supermarket aisles
[4]"Beware the tungsten death aardvark," said the man,
who was leaning against the stack of pineapples.
brought from the tropics only two days ago
seafood from there is not safe to eat
as the oil spill is out of control.
I guess the full stop means it's finished.
Shall we continue as before, making frivolous observations?
Why don't we start a new consecutive Cheddars?
I think that's a good (but cheesy) idea.
I like cheesy flavoured food, especially real cheese.
Spray cans do not have that original taste
You are not supposed to eat the can.
Let us start a new topic of conversation.
My computer wants to eat my sister, Giertrud.
My sister seems to be sure of this.
Are you two related? Do you share sisters?
[penelope] They may not but I do sometimes.
Giertrud is my younger, and very weird, sister.
I am playing with my sister's dog, Woofles.
Don't forget that the computer is very hungry.
That means the computer wants a Big Mac.
Stand Back! I'm raiding the office biscuit tin.
Feed the ginger nuts to the computer, pen.
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