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Each Move Must Consist Of Precisely Eight Words
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Just as it says on the tin. What happens in the game may be debated in the game: perhaps it'll be a conversation, perhaps a word-limited reprise of various games we play, or whatever.
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Is that because Ant and Bee hooked up?
I thought that Ant hooked up with Dec
Everyone did - "all hands on Dec" they said.
I thought we were in Jun not Dec.
Yes, we are but not for very long. Clearly this is the Department of Great Thoughts.
So, Tim is out, better luck next time.
[Softers] Your Automatic Wimbledon Comment Generator needs updating.
I wonder if the rain will stop soon?
(Softers) There will be real rain today (Wednesday).
Twelve hours of the wretched stuff so far!!
Don't care. Going to Holland tomorrow, my birthday. :o)
It didn't rain Wednesday at all over here. :o)
We did have a brief shower on Thursday.
Cold and wet in Scotland all next week.
Come on, people! Think of new games!
I know! Each move seven words long!
[CdM] Thirteen words it is you want now then? Yoda speak I like then...
Those aren't new games, just a rearranged version.
To a connoisseur, each number is completely different.
Seven is good, six is better.
I've said it before: it's eight for me.
Yes, quite. It's an octal base for me.
Six words good! Seven words baaaaad!
But five is even better.
Four is plenty.
3?
Whither syntax?
Gone.
( )
i2
This is ridiculous. Let's get back to business.
y?
I'm with pen. Not in the biblical sense.
Ah! So we have a writer amongst us.
I haven't contributed for rather a long time.
Have your knees been playing up, old chap?
The quick brown fox jumps ...to be continued...
.....over the fence and exuberantly shags receptive vixen.
We've now moved to nature study I see.
One for sorrow, two for joy, eight for...?
...the hell of it? Makes sense to me...
I've just made mushroom soup. From mushrooms. Yuk.
(pen) More details, please, particularly regarding the yuckiness.
The soup was delicious. I hate whole mushrooms.
Why does turtle soup contain no whole turtles?
It would be too easy to mock them.
And they don't fit on the soup spoon.
Tried terrapin soup? a nipper in a dipper
I prefer alphabet soup. It's educative, quite literally.
What ever happened to traditional Brown Windsor soup?
Soup's off, dear. Want a nice prawn cocktail?
Soup's off? Did the tanker not turn up?
If the soup's off, there is always Spam.
There is very little nourishment in junk emails.
There is very little nourishment in Spam either.
Very little intellectual nourishment in here right now...
Well, I did watch University Challenge last night.
Were you able to answer any questions, though?
I just like hearing the words "Jesus - HUGHES."
This intellect seems to have halted the flow.
To halt the flow you should take Imodium.
Depends. It could be an incontinence pad, perhaps.
Or Luciano Pavarotti. Oops! Wrong kind of Tena.
Oh dear. It has all gone downhill, innit?
It is easier going downhill than uphill.
Quite so. Gravity has much to answer for.
Gravity is such a drag. Let's lighten up!
Pen - I can not imagine you in drag.
My impression of a woman is quite convincing
Oh dear, dear, penelope. Who told you that?
[Phil] Your boyfriend, wearing pink shirt and earrings.
Pen, you must have had years of practice.
Let her tell us precisely how many years.
Are you all still holding your collective breaths?
I'd rather be holding yours, to be honest.
Rosie, you seem to have developed a lisp.
Yeth I have, and I'm only thixty-five. Geddit?
I thought that I said lisp not limp.
References to limpness will be treated with derision.
Dr. Peabody's Best Derision, one shilling a bottle.
At that price I'll take a dozen, please.
Useful when listening to politcians on the media.
This post has exactly the right number of
Come on, come on, I hate the suspense
...words necessary to pass muster in this game.
Is that all? I was expecting a revelation.
You'll find quite a few at the back.
Does anyone here recall Blue Jam? Quite extraordinary.
No, but I've a jar of blackberry jelly.
(nights) Can you play C Jam Blues, though?
If you can whistle it, I'll try to.
Here it is: Woohoo, -, -, woohoo, woohoo, Woooo Hoo.
Hmm. May be beyond my musical capabilities. Sorry.
Switswoo, la-di-da, switswoo, switswoo, switswoo swoooooo bum bum.
I believe penelope is speaking in tongues again.
What do you expect? It's probably Double Dutch.
It was an Edith Piaf song, Padam Padam.
Ah. I see. Well, very nice, pen. Yes.
Gosh, it is October already. How time flies!
And a new week! Eight Monday words, anyone?
"this, queen, eldritch, lemming, towers, quell, mensch, trauma"
That sounds like a rather promising plot outline.
I, am, fed, up, with, my, job. OK?
Isn't imparting knowledge to others is very fulfilling?
Perhaps you could even teach Rosie about syntax.
Oh dear! So much for the Whoops button.
I was having a bad day. Better today!
Better now indeed. It's the weekend. Laundry looms.
Sorry, pen; what the hell are laundry looms?
Pen, I know what you mean. Laundry. Ugh.
I love ironing. Is that a bit freaky?
Not at all, Pen. What iron've you got?
"Iron've" is an unusual word. Iron've iron've iron've.
You can come and do my ironing, pen.
Steel yourself and cast ironing to the winds.
Teflon plate with sports suspension and steam boost.
Cool. Mine's a rear sidewinder with overhead underhangs.
Mine's a pint. Ironing's just a necessary evil.
A pint of steam? Is that all? Wuss.
It's all right for you, you're a girl.
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard, Softers.
[pen] There's something very Mainwaringesque about that line.
Sorry about that. I was in bossy mode.
[pen] So much for your girly side, then.
Words to the wise. Girly side *is* bossy.
That's the most tautological statement I've ever heard.
Do you want me to tell you again?
Oooh! I like it when you're dominant, pen.
I don't think that was what I meant...
Well, if you don't know, we certainly don't!
I knew none of you knew, you know
We'd like to know if you know, though.
Anyone know if I know what's going on?
I'm not sure. How much do you know?
he knows more than he's letting on. maybe.
I really don't know what's going on here.
It's all on a need to know basis.
I don't wish to know that, oh no.
I think Tuj's real name is John Major.
Who are you calling Major in here, Rosie?
[Rosie] That's hard for a twenty-one-year-old to take!
Fair enough, I never fancied Edwina Curry either.
Nor me, but maybe she's a good shag.
Change of subject. My, what a gloomy weekend.
I appear to have lost a vowel somewhere.
I expect you left it on the train.
[Rosie] Less likely if she has a care.
pen is without a care, not a car.
[Rosie] Are you implying that pen doesn't care?
Quite right. I don't. Off to Holland tomorrow. :D
Auf wiedersehen! No, wait... Bon voyage? Hang on...
Pen? Have you come back from Holland yet?
Yup, back, but 'flu. It stole my holiday.
Football, though, steals the brain, which is worse.
Flu abated, hacking cough, but still off work.
I'm always off work but have to attend.
I do not recognise this thing called "work".
Come now, chaps. Are you lost for words?
Buy me a couple of pints, I'll talk.
That wouldn't get you far in Guantanamo Bay.
Eight words. Beef pie, carrots, cauliflower, gravy. Yum.
Rosemary foccacio, terrine de campagne, raw fennel.
I must have been trying to cut down.
I have a hunger for some proper paté.
Bray's farm pork pies are the very best.
Are they Irish pork and dioxin farm pies?
They insist on only the very best dioxins.
One should always insist the dioxins are organic.
Can Flash Gordon really save the financial world?
What makes you think he'd be so inclined?
Flash! (crash) Ah ah... Saviour of the universe.
My final week at work... demob happy, wooohoooo!!!!
Luck in the Land of Wooden Shoes, penelope.
Words for the week between Christmas and NY?
"The December Sales" is their most prominent feature.
"All Month's Now Available At Knock Down Price's."
Free apostrophe every time. Whether 'needed or 'not.
Those free radicle apostrophes seem to get everywhere.
So, how is everyone finding the new year?
I looked down the back of the sofa.
The revelations of that practice can be horrific.
There's a menthol sweetie down the back of mine
Actually, I'm finding the New Year rather chilly.
It's warmed and wetted up a bit now.
Boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, junk.
Arrived. Semi-unpacked. Jeez, where will it all go?
I reckon penelope needs a new dutch name
"Peneloopij" might provide something like the right pronunciation
Thank you very much. That's just marvellous. Not.
Geen probleem peneloopij, al deel van de dienst.
Intrigued newcomer wonders: is this a clique? Click.
Nah, jump in. Tell us your trivia, Fogey.
(Fogey) Welcome, unless you are older than me.
Does that mean elder's are not welcome, Rosie?
(Softers) Nor larch's, oak's or baobab's either, chum.
Does that mean no cricket Ash's this year?
Hazel yews's birches to remain poplar and spruce?
That reminds me. I've tree writing to do.
Oak aye. (This is my first attempt here.)
I got sunburnt on a beech in cypress.
Rowan a boat on Windermere made me sycamore.
Fir goodness sake, this is getting very silly.
Ivy privet opinion that it's acacia running joke.
No snow talk in here. That's a relief.
The rain will wash away the heagonal crystals.
The nights are beginning to draw in now.
Oi! Not from where I'm standing, they're not.
Are you are removing your winter drawers already?
There must be a spring in her step.
I'll have a word with the Windy Miller.
A Dutch word or an English word, eh?
It doesn't matter. Neither will make much sense.
How about 'wainscot'? English, but with Dutch origins.
Wainscot sounds like a place in say, Oxfordshire.
Goodness me! The sun is actually shining today!
Furthermore, it is visible from the United Kingdom.
(Except for viewers in Scotland, who don't count)
Neither do they in BBC TV weather forecasts.
BBC weather forecasts show weather in the Netherlands.
Ah yes, but is it any better, pen?
No, it's usually worse. Probably get more rain.
Sublime rhyme, "weather in the Netherlands". Whither Neverland?
Neverland? Repossessed by the bank, mate. Hard Luck.
Rain and wind... I have to go out :o(
That's bad luck, the sun is shining here.
What? Even for the global tax avoidance mob?
The sun ALWAYS shines for tax avoidance mobs :o)
But they have to stand in dirty business.
Are you all currently saving up your words?
I am naturally laconic, despite the Cambrian influence.
Every word counts in the current challenging climate.
I thought words were cheap. What has changed?
A change is as good as a rest
Has anyone talked about Twitter in this game?
I don't think so. Should we start now?
I don't know. Is anyone tweeting us yet?
Is this game now "Eight Words A Week"?
Wasn't that an early song by the Beatles?
Did we resolve the Twitter issue at all?
[Software] Yes.
I'll Twitter on here. Is anyone actually interested?
By current activity, no-one will even notice, Pen.
Maybe St George will, its his day today.
On St. George's Day, I went to France.
On St Patrick's Day, America goes to pieces.
On St David's day the Welsh take a leek.
I made lemon cookies this morning. Utterly delish.
I couldn't resist a tasty inverted equilateral triangle.
Did you have custard on it, Rosie?
I was indulging in smart-arse mathematical symbolism.
I See. In France they have Triangle Amande.
Are these the last eight words here ever?
Is the Pope a bear in the woods?
What's more, does His Holiness approve of picnics?
Once upon a time there was this guy.
He became station announcer at Bristol Temple Meads.
He announced the Second Coming, but no-one listened.
A man walks into a pub, now laugh.
He should have looked where he was going.
[Rosie] Now, and just now, did I laugh.
It seems possible to cause mirth on Tuesdays.
Shall we try again tomorrow? It'll be Wednesday.
Does "it'll" count as one word or two?
It it does we both used nine. Whoooops!
Where's the Southeast England Severe Weather Event, then?
I woke up to rain, was that it?
[nfras] I think contractions've always counted as one...
....thing pregnant women would rather not think about.
Ah, yes, but prevention is better than cure.
Ten days is too long without eight words.
That's true. Where have you been then, pen?
Eindhoven, the Neunen watermills that Van Gogh painted.
Shall we continue our discrete dalliance here, pen?
So discreet, I failed to notice it, sorry.
You really know how to hurt a guy.
I trained long and hard for it, Softers
So that's why you ended up in Holland!
Yep, he was the last handsome man standing!
I feel disinclined to disturb this tender conversation.
[Rosie] You may've shattered the illusion of seclusion.
Phew, it's not just me and him anymore
If I can't see you, you're not there.
Either that, or I'm a master of disguise.
It could be dark or foggy. Those polders.
"Polder" rhymes with several other words. Like "older".
Coincidentally, I read what a polder is today.
Coincidentally? I wonder if that is really true.
So true. But then what is the truth?
[Rosie] As opposed to purposely looking it up?
(Knobbly) Er, yes. Maybe I should trust you.
Another week passes by without anyone making comment.
Perhaps it's the end move for this game.
Shall we put it out of its misery?
I think we'll miss it when it's gone.
What to do with these spare eight-word sets?
Pair them up in a sixteen word set?
Melt them down for use in other sentences?
Sell them to call centres as Good English.
Eight is too many for call centre operatives.
Anyone been watching the tennis? Short discussion mind.
No. Short enough?
Andy Murray? A loosing Scot, not winning Brit.
Brit? The word is 'Briton'. Briton! Briton! Briton!
Someone else using 'loosing' when they mean 'losing'
Perhaps he was adjusting his tight jockstrap. Geddit?
Damn spell checkers. They do not understand me.
The spellchecker has no problem with "Brit", though. :-)
The spellchecker is wrong. 'Brit' is an abbreviation.
Yeah well, Brits always say that. :-)
I think CdM is shortchanging us, don't you?
Too right. We demand ALL our words!
I have still got plenty sets of eight.
If life seems pretty rotten, there's something you've
Verboten? That seems to fit. Try again, Knobbers.
Another week has passed by; still no progress.
Not strictly true, Softers. We survived another week.
But to what end? We are but transients.
We eagerly await next week's exciting instalment, Rosie.
The Exciting Adventures of Rosie! This week: PERIL!
What's the excitement in a misspelt washing powder?
I prefer to use BALD, or sometimes TURF.
[Rosie] So, what earth-shattering happenings have outdone that?
Any ideas what to do with a Wednesday?
Hang onto Wednesday for two days. The weekend!
Can we bring Wednesday forward by one day?
That would make it Tuesday, would it not?
The Germans, calling it mittwoch, would be confused.
New news. Our ancient canary died this morning.
Oh dear. I don't know what to say.
A relief really. Poor old thing. Dun Tweeting.
penelope! Get out of the mine now!!
The sad demise of the first web-savvy canary.
Canary's demise may be due to summat else.
Maybe the canary should have quit smoking sooner.
Not a good week for canaries at all.
But a much better one for Colchester United.
[Rosie] We bask in their reflected glory. Ha!
What can one say about these Essex boys?
Use words of one syllable, whatever you do.
OK. Oh, that's blown it from the off.
What a shame you got that wrong, pen.
Another month has passed. A month nearer Christmas.
[Software] A month further from some of them.
Distant Christmasses. The present ages, the gifts go. wha?
[pen] I'm confused. Would you care to elucidate?
[Knobbers] I'm rambling without the right boots on.
Shurely there are no mountaineers in The Netherlands?
Is it all right if I play here?
Of course, provided you promise to be nice.
Hi PaulWay. Is it Friday where you are?
[PaulWay] You should be warned that people disagree about how this game should be played as well*

*More precisely, I come here and behave obnoxiously
Well, one person does. Could be two now.
...some half-hearted hyphen discussion too, though hardly contentious!
Have we discussed bracketed comments on here before?
Yes, and we decided that they should count.
Looks like there are revolutionaries in our midst
Kill them, that's what I say. Kill them!
It's Guy Fawkes Day every day in Leicester.
Leicester sounds a bit cheesy to me, though.
[Softers] Then it follows that they're communist revolutionaries.
Leicester is precisely twice as cheesy as Gloucester.
How do you able to conclude that, Rosie?
Are you referring to my cheesy humour, Rosie?
You need to double Gloucester to make cheese
North South East West Hearts Diamonds Clubs Spades
Tuj, what's that got to do with cheese?
(Phil, Software) I really meant half as cheesy.
(Rosie) You should post more caerphilly next time.
Frankly, I really do not give an Edam.
Good, because I was only shooting the Bries.
Remember that marvellous cheese game from aeons ago?
Aeons ago? Even I am not that old.
I think we'll be the judge of that.
Can I detect a tiny hint of ageism?
Ageism is unrealistic. There'll always be an earth.
A good earth is important for electrical safety.
And critical for good carrots and healthy parsnips.
I've heard of Electric Prunes but never evegetables.
And there are battery hens and Steam Nuts.
Are your battery hens rechargeable? How's it done?
Electrodes up the bum. Well, you did ask.
We have slipped from vegetables to torture methods.
Not at all. This is but benign revitalisation.
A bit like stringing beans, or chopping carrots.
I vote we kill off this dying game.
Do you not have any heart left, pen?
I've got some liver, if that's any good.
Sausages for dinner tonight, I could spare one.
Personally, I like sweetmeats and all other offal.
You can have mine, although they're already chewed.
[pen] Shurely you never had your own sweetmeats?
Two! Four! Six! Eight! Please do not self-immolate!
Why shouldn't I? This room is bloody freezing.
Because there'll be no-one to poke the fire
If I poke the fire I'll be electrocuted.
[Rosie] Do you not have a pet, say?
That is cruel unless it's an electric eel.
Is battery still cruel, even for electric eels?
Fish from my local chip shop is battery.
I bet they overcharge for it too, Rosie.
Fish and chips for tea tonight. Hurrah!
+ 'Yummy'
(Softers) Yes, but there is too much anyway.
Only two more days in Blighty before home.
Does that mean you are going Dutch again?
Nope. Fish and chips is very, very British.
Well, yet another week has passed us by.
And thus, a new week begins. What fun.
Yes, it's Monday, which means Big Band rehearsal. This is getting like Twitter.
HAI GUYS, I'M HAVING A POO! PLEASE RT!
Oh my. That certainly wasn't what I expected.
That's because you're a lady, so I'm told.
I thought that we were being Twitter. Sorry.
Don't worry nights. Any more bowel movements yet?
This game pre-dates Twitter, doesn't it? More, nights?
Nope, I've finished being stupid now. Thank goodness.
Bowel movements are one of life's simple pleasures.
A bit like stealing your neighbour's newspaper, apparently.
What, the Daily Mail? Associated with bowel movements.
Sorry, was irritated that my Libération was missing.
That just serves you right, you dangerous pinko!
Mwahahaha! Forward, socialist agenda! Sorry, got too excited.
[nights] Goodness me you're excitable! I wonder why...
Perhaps because it's nearly the weekend. Good news.
Indeed. I'll bake a thousand mince pies tomorrow.
Pen, I believe that a thousand is exaggerating.
OK, 900 is more accurate. They're hungry here.
Baking!? Surely they have M&S in Southern Dutchland?
More seriously, can you get Robertson's mincemeat there?
[INJ] Bet she makes her own. Goody Two-shoes.
I know. I hate those who out-Christmas Christmas.
Bzzzt! First "Christmas" mention. Defcon level two (/eight).
Mince pies? Yuk! Fruit cake and pudding? Bleaurgh!
Do you sell more beer at Christmas, Phil??
Christmas beer is really very good here. Mmm.
Beer is very good everywhere, except keg stuff.
But Beer in your keyboard definitely isn't good.
[penelope] Oh yes, yes, yes, very much so!
I hope there's beer in my Christmas stocking.
Wouldn't it stick all the chocolate money together?
Beer, chocolate and stockings, everything a man wants!
Actually INJers - not many women would say no :)
Sounds like a winning Christmas to me, guys.
Is it time to sing Christmas carols yet?
[Softers] No no no no no no NO!
Thank goodness for that. I don't like them.
"While Shepherds Washed Their Socks By Night", anyone?
Adeste fideles, laete triumphantes, venite, venite, in Bethlehem
Shouldn't that be "ad"? Or is that commercializing Christmas?
Don't criticise if you can't count to eight.
Two, four, six, eight. So CdM is innumerate.
*filthy spoons alert* The Whore's Bed Carol swings.
CdM's not been playing by the rule throughout.
We cannot put up with this consistent non-conformity.
Certainly not. Some sort of action is needed.
*looks innocent*
Oh no you don't, CdM, you treacherous scoundrel!
He may have the face of a cherub.
But he has the heart of a devil.
Perhaps we could nominate a translator for him?
Tuj, I think that got lost in translation.
Your fluency in Dutch has overwhelmed you, pen.
Underwhelmed more like. I have another lesson tonight.
From the Windy Miller? What sort of lesson?
One-to-one proper Dutch lesson, cancelled because of snow.
It's snowing again. I'm fed up of this.
I still love snow! But I don't drive...
Snow? You can keep it. Give me sun.
*yawns* Can we talk about something else please?
"Able acrobats aren't always adept at aquatic athletics"
But belligerent boxers behave better befriended by ballerinas
Competitive combatant cum chassé-champion combination? Complete cobblers!
Drawn-out deliberations decide delinquent débutantes' diatribes don't deserve...
Every energetic element easily emits energy each evening.
Five fresh-faced foreign fishermen found Folkestone fairly frightening.
Girls giving Greek guys gonorrhea generally go ga-ga.
Happy Helen helps her husband have his honey.
Incredible ignorance ignites indifference into implied imagined insults.
"Japanese jurisprudence justifies jailing Janis Joplin," jokes Jung.
Kindly Kurd Kirsty kissed kinky kipper killer Kelly.
Let lovable land-locked little Lesotho lure lager louts.
Moreover, most morniverse members mention many miscellaneous matters.
No nay never - Ner ner ne ner ner!
Onomatopeia obviously offers one option, only obscuring others.
Peter Piper poked people's pets, producing pitiful protestations.
"Quit Quake quickly?" queried Quentin, queuing quite quietly.
Roger Rabbit reckons Rebecca Raccoon's rear requires rogering
"Stop sniffing, Stephanie!" shouted Sister Sally, scowling sternly.
The through trains to Taunton tend to tardiness. (Chalky) Ace filth, m'dear.
Umpires' union uniformly unites unemployed umbrella undertakers, unusually. To be fair, U is not one of the easier letters.
Victor vaunted valueless Valentine's votives - vainly: Valerie vomited.
When? Where? Who? What? Why? Women worry wearilessly.
Xhosan Xavier's xanthous xenogeny, xylographer Xerxes, x-rayed xoloitzcuintles.
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Phil's effort*
xoloitzcuintles? What a distracting word! Looks vaguely smutty ;^)
Yr ydych yn ysgrifennu yn yr ystafell yma.
Hidden text = You are writing in this room.
 Someone have a go in English.
[Rosie] I'll take your word for it. Bravo!
[Audience] Thank you
[Rosie]"You yellow Yankee!" Yasmin yelled yesterday. Yves yawned.
"Zounds!" zithered zany Zaza, zeroing Zog's zesty zeal.
Well done, Raak, for not mentioning Zinedine Zidane.
Zizou? I 'ave never 'eard of eem. Zut!
Alphabet been completely done? Exciting fresh gauntlet heaved!
Hidden textanyone fancy taking on bcdefghi?
Blair carelessly disseminated equivocal facts garnering headlines internationally.
Hidden textcdefghij - is the next one
Could dear Elizabeth Fry get herself in jail?
Does elocution fusspot get huffy in Jamie's kitchen?
Ever fancied getting huge implants? Just kidding, love.
Furry gloved hands intend just kindling love, mother.
Ghastly Harry's in J.K.'s latest magic novel.
Having impressively jointed knees lets me navigate outlandishly.
I just knew last Monday's netball outcome. Psychic!
Jeremy Kyle legitimises me nodding off pretty quickly.
King Lear? Midsummer Night? Othello? Please quote regularly.
Let Midsomer Norton's older parishioners quit robust sex.
My neighbours often peek quietly 'round some trees...
Note our Prince's quirky royal standards, tremendously urbane.
Obama's persuasive questioning requires sceptics to uncover venality.
I just keep laughing, mocking niceties of play, quite regularly scorning to use VIII words
Hidden textL'esprit d'escalier makes me wish I had prefaced that with: Ah, but CdM decries eight fetish gleefully, hence...
[CdM] Disappointed that you didn't rise to the challenge of the XYZ full house...
People quaffing really strong tequila unfortunately vomit woefully.
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