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Each Move Must Consist Of Precisely Eight Words
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Just as it says on the tin. What happens in the game may be debated in the game: perhaps it'll be a conversation, perhaps a word-limited reprise of various games we play, or whatever.
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Snow? You can keep it. Give me sun.
*yawns* Can we talk about something else please?
"Able acrobats aren't always adept at aquatic athletics"
But belligerent boxers behave better befriended by ballerinas
Competitive combatant cum chassé-champion combination? Complete cobblers!
Drawn-out deliberations decide delinquent débutantes' diatribes don't deserve...
Every energetic element easily emits energy each evening.
Five fresh-faced foreign fishermen found Folkestone fairly frightening.
Girls giving Greek guys gonorrhea generally go ga-ga.
Happy Helen helps her husband have his honey.
Incredible ignorance ignites indifference into implied imagined insults.
"Japanese jurisprudence justifies jailing Janis Joplin," jokes Jung.
Kindly Kurd Kirsty kissed kinky kipper killer Kelly.
Let lovable land-locked little Lesotho lure lager louts.
Moreover, most morniverse members mention many miscellaneous matters.
No nay never - Ner ner ne ner ner!
Onomatopeia obviously offers one option, only obscuring others.
Peter Piper poked people's pets, producing pitiful protestations.
"Quit Quake quickly?" queried Quentin, queuing quite quietly.
Roger Rabbit reckons Rebecca Raccoon's rear requires rogering
"Stop sniffing, Stephanie!" shouted Sister Sally, scowling sternly.
The through trains to Taunton tend to tardiness. (Chalky) Ace filth, m'dear.
Umpires' union uniformly unites unemployed umbrella undertakers, unusually. To be fair, U is not one of the easier letters.
Victor vaunted valueless Valentine's votives - vainly: Valerie vomited.
When? Where? Who? What? Why? Women worry wearilessly.
Xhosan Xavier's xanthous xenogeny, xylographer Xerxes, x-rayed xoloitzcuintles.
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Phil's effort*
xoloitzcuintles? What a distracting word! Looks vaguely smutty ;^)
Yr ydych yn ysgrifennu yn yr ystafell yma.
Hidden text = You are writing in this room.
 Someone have a go in English.
[Rosie] I'll take your word for it. Bravo!
[Audience] Thank you
[Rosie]"You yellow Yankee!" Yasmin yelled yesterday. Yves yawned.
"Zounds!" zithered zany Zaza, zeroing Zog's zesty zeal.
Well done, Raak, for not mentioning Zinedine Zidane.
Zizou? I 'ave never 'eard of eem. Zut!
Alphabet been completely done? Exciting fresh gauntlet heaved!
Hidden textanyone fancy taking on bcdefghi?
Blair carelessly disseminated equivocal facts garnering headlines internationally.
Hidden textcdefghij - is the next one
Could dear Elizabeth Fry get herself in jail?
Does elocution fusspot get huffy in Jamie's kitchen?
Ever fancied getting huge implants? Just kidding, love.
Furry gloved hands intend just kindling love, mother.
Ghastly Harry's in J.K.'s latest magic novel.
Having impressively jointed knees lets me navigate outlandishly.
I just knew last Monday's netball outcome. Psychic!
Jeremy Kyle legitimises me nodding off pretty quickly.
King Lear? Midsummer Night? Othello? Please quote regularly.
Let Midsomer Norton's older parishioners quit robust sex.
My neighbours often peek quietly 'round some trees...
Note our Prince's quirky royal standards, tremendously urbane.
Obama's persuasive questioning requires sceptics to uncover venality.
I just keep laughing, mocking niceties of play, quite regularly scorning to use VIII words
Hidden textL'esprit d'escalier makes me wish I had prefaced that with: Ah, but CdM decries eight fetish gleefully, hence...
[CdM] Disappointed that you didn't rise to the challenge of the XYZ full house...
People quaffing really strong tequila unfortunately vomit woefully.
Quite right. Strong tequila upsets, verified with x-ray.
Really sloppily, Tuj uses only four sequential letters.
This game has lost its momentum, it seems.
Well, it never really had much forward velocity.
It tends to come and go, in waves.
In that respect it seems to resemble desire.
Desire for carnal conjugation or for something else?
Perhaps for street cars, they have forward velocity.
The old Croydon trams had little of that.
Are there any famous eight-word quotations out there?
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
By definition that's surely seven and a half ;)
"Elementary, my dear Watson"
You are four words short, my dear Holmes.
Would nine words make this game more popular?
Twelve and a half percent extra? Who knows?
CdM seems to like it at any length.
Having a dirty mind, I'd say that's libellous.
Due to inflation, every move now has nine words.
All right then pen, I'll go along with that.
This introduces a whole new dimension to the game.
I find it requires a bit of extra thought.
I thought that we were still in a recession.
Perhaps we could think our way out of it.
I doubt Gordon Brown'll be around much longer
Why is that, FGZ, are you planning an assassination?
No, Software. Your last move was too long.
Au contraire, matey, for nine is the new eight. See above - confusingly, we've got bored with octality.
I graciously concede. Let us all embrace the nonality!
I don't like it, sir. Not one little bit!
[Phil] Come on man! We must all embrace change.
I agree with you entirely. Neuf est tout neuf.
[Rosie] Moi, je dis huit "Oui"s à huit. Oui?
Please could we revert to English? I'm confused.
I'd be delighted if we reverted to eight words.
I now agree, and here is the proof.
I concede I found nine a bit odd.
Nine *is* odd. That's the nature of the number!
We want nothing to do with perfect squares.
In botany, "perfect" means both male and female.
In human biology, perfect is an impossibility
Well there's perfect, and then there's too perfect.
Let us not mention the Footballer's Perfect, then.
[Rosie] There's an oxymoron if ever I saw
(Chalky) There's blood everywhere if ever I saw.
And so some more blood has been spilt.
This game is starting to resemble a slaughterhouse.
He mocks the Morniverse. Off with his head!
I mock it not. Anyway, a bank holiday
What we really need is a Bankers' Holocaust.
Is that quite similar to a hung parliament?
What's the Footballer's Perfect? Can anyone explain it please?
"The referee's given a penalty". Should be "gave."
Has given = correct. Has gave = incorrect. Rosie = tired? :^)
Octoverbal constraints, m'dear. I'd say Chalky = wind-up merchant. :-)
Time for a change of subject I think.
Does anybody fancy talking about the World Cup?
Oh God, not that. Please. Anything but that.
I am gratified that your response is so.
Good bowling, good tactics, too many South Africans?
Have we stumbled into a different world series?
In Football, New Zealand qualified. Scotland didn't. *sob*
I really like football but I've had enough.
I never really liked it to begin with.
I'm sports loopy! But I keep quiet here.
Mostly I keep everyone else quiet too *sigh*
That may be true, but does it matter?
Does anything matter? Why are we here anyway?
We are here to make eight words each.
Speak for yourself.
Oh, don't you start.
Oh not this argument again!
Clearly it is.
Come, come, Morniversers and let's stop pissing about.
[Rosie] Isn't that exactly what we're here for?
It might be why you are here, Tuj.
We must piss about in an orderly manner.
[Rosie] Surely that is an oxymoron, isn't it?
Not necessarily. Think of it as Bounded Chaos.
Complex, seemingly random conversations that actually have patterns?
Nine has four sides; it's both male and female.
Mine has four sides; it is mostly male.
[Rosie] Are you sure that's the right game?
Does it matter so long as we play?
Yes, let's play the game, no nit picking.
Knit picking is just what I do, though.
If you pick nits, it means you remove lice, right?
No, you may just choose them. Restoring the 8-word average.
[Rosie] How do you expect me to choose?
Anyone for eight concurrent games of Cheddar Gorge?
Shall I lead? Dear Sir or Madam; Please
find enclosed an affidavit from His Excellency, The
Most Delectable Lord High Milkman of Chesterfield, who
is
currently undergoing treatment for a condition that may (CdM) Predictable.
, under certain circumstances, lead to a considerably worse
state of economic decline in relation to the
Milk Marketing Board's recent disastrous adoption of the
zloty than even the most zealous and hardline
members of the communist party (North Cheam branch)
would have believed possible, and I therefore request
That this game of cheddar be concluded immediately.
Well, that was fun, but rather too easy.
How about eight concurrent games, to end simultaneously?
{Raak] an interesting concept but probably quite tricky.
Especially if each "row" must also make sense.
That's actually what I suggested. Worth a try?
Yes. Here goes: There are three different ways
For some people that have strange ideas about
Making their way through the narrow supermarket aisles
[4]"Beware the tungsten death aardvark," said the man,
who was leaning against the stack of pineapples.
brought from the tropics only two days ago
seafood from there is not safe to eat
as the oil spill is out of control.
I guess the full stop means it's finished.
Shall we continue as before, making frivolous observations?
Why don't we start a new consecutive Cheddars?
I think that's a good (but cheesy) idea.
I like cheesy flavoured food, especially real cheese.
Spray cans do not have that original taste
You are not supposed to eat the can.
Let us start a new topic of conversation.
My computer wants to eat my sister, Giertrud.
My sister seems to be sure of this.
Are you two related? Do you share sisters?
[penelope] They may not but I do sometimes.
Giertrud is my younger, and very weird, sister.
I am playing with my sister's dog, Woofles.
Don't forget that the computer is very hungry.
That means the computer wants a Big Mac.
Stand Back! I'm raiding the office biscuit tin.
Feed the ginger nuts to the computer, pen.
I try, but the mouse gets them first.
Well, pen, what you need is a cat
A coarse-furred and fearsome beast called Boris, say.
Boris, is that like Bluto from Popeye cartoons?
That image is going to stick with me!
Bluto was a pussycat really, so to speak.
Yeah, he had to play soft for Olive.
Your olives are soft? Cooked them too long!
I think Giertrud started with the double entendres.
Today is an august occasion, last of many.
Don't be so Septemberish. Think of the autumn!
We now have Rs in the month again.
Also numbers in Latin. August should be Sexber.
I'm confused. When would my birthday be then?
(pen) January or February? Then Undecember or Duodecember.
Today's 90210. Did you watch Beverly Hills?
T'was only 90210 in America... Day first, please!
American's had 9/11, we had 7/7. Avoids confusion.
But 7-11 is a convenience store. Free slurpees?
'Slurpees'? Now who is on the double entendres?
Actually, today in Britain it's 8/9/10 - that works.
I only know "slurpee" as a cold drink.
Sounds more like one at body heat (coat!)
Body heat, 37 degrees, Taraval, Parkside San Francisco
Don't they use Fahrenheit scale in San Fran?
Maybe he means cold-blooded creatures such as fish.
You mean Shion Sono's new movie "Cold Fish"?
>I have never even heard of this movie!
I've heard of the movie called "Catfish," though.
Plus, I have also heard of "Big Fish."
'Big Fish' are only ever figments of imagination.
Yes, my mate never caught a thirty-pound carp.
What's that Rosie? You do nothing but carp.
I perch, being a Norwegian Blue, albeit dead.
I goldfish. That is, I fish for gold.
I hake. Hall over. It's the Harthritis. Houch!
I kip, therefore I must be a kipper.
I've just had my shoes soled and eeled.
I hear sea shanties. Must be someone's Icod.
Speak up, Rosie, my herring's not so good.
(Softers) Surely you can still hear the bass.
(Rosie) No, mate, I have a bad cod.
Maybe you need the drumming of Max Roach.
Ah, Fish puns, fish puns, roly-poly fish puns!
I dolphin-ately am enjoying this bit of luna-sea.
Isn't it a great song, Salmon Chanted Evening.
Another song beckons: Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
[Phil] It's neither the time nor the plaice...
Maybe it's time to get our skates on.
I'd better take my mackerel I'll get soaked.
[Porter!] Even if I'm accompanied by Colin Sell?
Not even John Dory would make any difference.
I think Nemo would take offense at these.
Not even eight words all weekend. Why not?
Perhaps there has been an overtime ban, pen.
Overtime schmovertime. There's always eight words to spare!
Feel free to borrow any of these ones.
Right, I will go for a "feel" then.
Good man. Do not bypass the gentlemanly preliminaries.
Software, somebody might want to "cop a feel."
Perhaps someone'd also like to feel a cop.
Yes, certain people like a bit of helmet.
Well, I think that can't be capped, Rosie
Could be if it were a welfare benefit.
Also if it spouted oil, thus aiding lubrication.
Or played cricket, rugby or a sitting-down game
Or were getting on in years a bit.
You and me, Rosie, but what about others?
Don't worry. We're getting older all the time.
'There's no turning back' said the forward thinker
Stopped clock is right two times a day.
What's the time being we do things for?
Has anyone got an idea for a game?
Pheasant. A very tasty game.
Oh bugger, mixed up haiku and eight words.
And too bold, too bold, too bold! Arse.
And there isn't even a haiku game here.
Except one with word count: eight, eight, eight
This game is very good. Carry on chaps.
That would seem to exclude penelope. Won't do.
*chaps it up with the best of them*
We cannot have sex or gender discrimination here!
*wonders about the difference between sex and gender*
*gives INJ a lesson on birds and bees*
Phew. Back to birds. Pheasant, a tasty game.
Constabulary. Also known as piggery. Full of filthiness.
Eight word haikus could become quite the thing.
Sex and gender are different: Learned in college.
Also, would be left out if only chaps.
Revisit Phil's words. Consider gauntlet taken. Excellent challenge!
They taught you sex in college? How worrying!
They teach each other about sex in college.
Forget the sex! Eight word haiku's the thing.
Poetry shmoetry! Give me sex every time, mate.
Club called VOX wanted to teach safe sex.
Garden waste in Esher is placed in secks.
Now even the Pope is promoting safe sex.
Garden waste in Escher goes in Klein bottles.
(Raak) In Klein bottles? What does that mean? otherwise v good BTW
A non-orientable surface with no "inner" or "outer" sides.
Whoops. For a mathematician I'm rubbish at counting.
[Felix Klein] That makes you a qualified accountant.
(pen) Or a member of a musical ensemble.
Have an accountant friend: says, "But that's math!"
(Rosie) I like ensembles that sing birthday songs.
There are, I understand, three kinds of mathematician.
No, 10. Those who understand binary / the rest.
[INJ] Thunder stealing is neither big nor clever, sir!
Three kinds of people: Can count, can't count.
That's the funniest thing you've said all year.
Well, the year is nearly over, isn't it?
I hate saving the best until last.
Snow, snow, snow... when will it ever end?
Snow, of course, ends with the letter W!
There's no snow here in Lake Charles, LA!
It has ended here. The sun is shining.
[Softers] What has ended? The week? The silliness?
[pen] Whatever floats your boat, I would say.
The existence of buoyancy has ended? Oh my.
[Tuj] Aye. Anyone else getting that sinking feeling?
If the Netherlands sink any further they'll disappear.
Dam it, that's what I say, dam it.
Know what I say? Leave it to beavers.
Which body of water do you want dammed?
Damn the lot of them. Damn you all!!!!
I say, pen, this is most unlike you.
It is probably the stress of seasonal shopping.
Dutch shops are utterly useless for Christmas shopping.
Yes, after Sinter Klaus they are bought out.
There was never anything interesting in them anyway!
Not even caps? They can always be useful.
Too many big box stores in the USA.
Is a 'box store' a cash and carry?
More like a smash and grab, I think.
I think in the UK, they are ASDA?
I would want to get outta ASDA ASAP.
Why? I quite like ADSA. Better than Tesco.
You ain't seen a Dutch supermarket yet, chaps.
Yes I have. I do quite like Vla.
It's just cold custard! Gullible, gullible, lemon gullible.
Also comes in chocolate flavoured gullible. Syrup waffles!
Stroop wafels - yeah, especially fresh and still warm.
Misheard lyrics: Windmill cookies, they'll give you gonorrhea!
Uh? Gier? You okay? Stroopwafels - cookies in USA.
Sometimes, people just don't make senseto me.
I don't even know what "senseto" means
Me neither. Any other buggers got any clues?
sen-se-to: Japanese art of making much with little.
'Twould be quite different making mulch with little.
Sen-se-o: Art of pretentious coffeemaking using expensive gadget.
Ooh, Sen-sei: Line from a cancelled Carry-on film.
Pen, I thought that had the name Starbucks.
Not many in this Dutch nation of coffee-drinkers.
Pen, would that be Sterdollar or something similar?
Doncha know Europe uses Euros, not dollars, Giertrud?
Not all of Europe: Great Britain has pounds.
I know. I'm British, living in continental Europe.
You just have to admire the Swiss though
Phil, on what basis do you admire them?
They roll extremely jammily, whilst yodelling folk songs?
They make extremely good knives for their army?
Own up - what have you done with Rosie?
She was absolutely delicious served on buttered toast.
[GGZS] Deffo wasn't you. Rosie is a he.
Ros-he? Well then, who was it I ate?
(FGZstar) Not female - not young either. See here.
So merely a confusing choice of name, then.
No, perfectly logical when you know his name.
Re: Swiss - well, there's the Geneva bus system
I happen to like the chocolate Swiss rolls.
Well, does the Geneva bus system bus tables?
Does the previous sentence have a word missing?
No. It uses the American verb 'to bus'.
'Twas an American who said "Verbing weirds nouns."
But isn't it an adjective that's been weirded?
"to bus" is a back formation from "busboy"
"busboy" itself seems to come from "omnibus boy"
"omnibus" being Latin for "for everything", of course
Ahem, I think in this case "for everybody".
Latin aside, what else is new and interesting?
Shall we discuss the upcoming Oscars luvvy parade?
Only if I can register my supreme indifference.
No registrations are being taken at this time.
Oh, good. That means you can park anywhere.
Even on a cloud up in the sky?
Virtual parking? The government will surely tax it.
Croydon Council even taxes virtuous parking, the bastards.
Gives them something to feel good about, probably.
My telescope objective is free from spherical aberration.
Nice to know. How's your belly for spots?
A spot on my belly meant chicken pox.
Hummmph! Now you've spread contagion into the game!
Coughs and sneezes spread diseases, so they say.
There are many agreeable ways of infecting people.
Sharks with laser beams is NOT a method!
Sharks with laser beams is from Austin Powers.
Sharks with bank accounts are from Austin, Texas
Pleased to report windy miller much improved today.
(pen) Good. May his quixotic pursuits continue unabated.
The sun is shining bright. Well here, anyway.
(Softers) Here also. Shows up all the dust.
Here too. I had to clean the windows.
(pen) Did you play your jolly ukulele simultaneously?
[Rosie] The strings sound funny when they're wet.
(pen) They would, like those of pub pianos.
Eight words for April, anyone? Someone? We're desperate.
How about: where are all the April showers?
They are biding their time, menacingly, until summer.
We've already had at least three of them.
A big storm came through Lake Charles, LA.
We need April flannels and April soap, too.
Time for your spring clean, Giertrud? Have fun!
April flannels? Surely it's too early for cricket?
Not at all. Durham was playing on Sunday.
Summer comes early to East and West Hartlepool.
Right. I'm off to work. Happy Friday, folks.
Ha! Work. The state pays me not to.
[Rosie] Can't wait, only 1038 days to go.
A mere youth. Friday fortnight I'll be 25,000.
I'm sailing back to Blighty on Wednesday - hurrah!
I'm sailing to France on Friday, hurrah too!
[software] Me too. A full wedding avoidance week.
As usual during the day, the telly's off.
I will be sipping beer and relaxing, myself.
Oh? Wedding Avoidance? Is someone getting married? (heh!)
My Union flag will fly in our straat
Unfortunately, even the French television will cover it.
Gier, don't act like you are not interested.
You know I'm being sarcastic -- teasing the Brits!
Brits are notorious for misunderstanding sarcasm...and irony.
I fail to see the irony in that.
As regards sunsets, coppery is better than irony.
Isn't irony what British humour is mostly about?
(Knobbly) I assume that is third-order irony.
Most British humour is lavatorial, isn't it? *snigger*
That is why it's gone down the pan.
Right down the pan, just ask Mervyn King.
I wish I had gone to bed earlier.
pen, where you tired or for another reason?
Regularly in bed too late, always up early :o(
It's been the driest spring since records began.
Hidden textMy records, that is, so 1983.
In Surrey, maybe. In Jersey only number two.
Sounds nice; I have always fancied desiccated rock.
Rain at last. Wish it would go away.
Same here. Least the drought warning's been lifted.
Why can I not stop thinking of doughnuts?
<mode="Homer">Mmmmmmm... Doughnuts</mode>
For completeness, please say 'doughnuts' three more times.
Doughnuts doughnuts doughnuts. Happy now?
[CdM], That is not eight words all at once.
I guess New Jersey takes after Old Jersey.
CdM doesn't need to count; he's an economist.
In this game, CdM's entries just don't count.
New Jersey is much bigger than Old Jersey.
Old jersey has probably shrunk in the wash.
Not just Old Jerseys. My new-ish one shrank.
I imagine that would enhance your delightful contours.
[K] "Eight words all at once." Now are you happy?
I don't know about you, but I am.
I'm happy enough, for now. No particular reason.
I'm not very happy; but that's my problem.
I'm not very happy; but that's my problem.
Sort it our guys. Whose problem is it?
I don't think it's my problem - no explosions.
Pull yourselves together, you miserable bunch of wimps.
That's almost the end of a knock-knock joke.
It would seem nights is a flatulence therapist.
[Knobbers] Happily, there's no end of knock-knock jokes.
Oh, but that I were. Such great fees.
Knock, knock. Who's there? A doctor. Doctor who?
I don't get it.
Does CdM intentionally flout the word count rule?
To assume otherwise would be to invoke innumeracy.
And we all know that could prove distastrous.
Maybe. But other reasons are even less flattering.
CdM believes the market should set the count
By his reckoning, we would all be short-changed!
I just put the definitive answer in "Movies."
[CdM], I'm happy, but that's still ten words.
I'm not happy, because Rupert Murdoch's still alive.
[KS] I'm afraid irach beat you to it
Yup, time for another eight words before Friday?
A restaurant sign here says 8 is great.
All I need do is write eight words?
Only if they are exactly the right words.
If not, someone might get testy. Or grumpy!
Where do I find the arbiter of rightness?
Oh, well. Maybe my next one'll be good.
[cfm] Me.
I hope so, Kaggers. Next time, try harder!
If in doubt; try, try, try, try, try again.
One, two, miss a few, ninety-nine, one hundred.
[CdM] I'd like to have eight words with you.
Play nicely, boys. What plans for het weekend?
Doing not a lot between all the visitors.
Get together with Mrs INJ's folks down South
Enumerating the definite article in all European languages.
Barbecue on Sunday perhaps? Two days before birthday :-)
Same thing I do every day, Pinky: nothing.
[pen] I'll be playing nicely with the boys
Reunion piss-up with old housemates in Bristol area.
Entertaining new nieces for a day - teenaged twins.
Wishing Phil a happy birthday, for one thing.
[Tuj] I learned that rhyme in middle school.
In New York, we learned something else entirely.
I learned many rhymes while in elhi grades.
Tuj and Kag, I learned it in Kindergarten.
GiertKag RudShuko - so not that long ago, eh?
Last workday before nuptuals. Too much to do!
If anybody present knows a reason why...
I used to shoot weddings -- it was fascinating.
Ceremony takes 10 minutes. Party takes 10 hours.
That seems to be in the right proportion.
Blissfully short, and in a foreign language. Perfect.
Finally, summer arrives. It's too bloody hot today.
Never fear, penelope. Rain is on its way.
And blustery whippy windiness. I do love autumn.
It's whipping round the 6th floor at 50kph
How jolly exciting! Is the wind blowing too?
Chalky, I'll take that statement as a compliment.
Whipping? Are we talking cream or sadomasochistic stuff?
I'm thinking of split cane fly fishing rods.
I'm thinking of a word beginning with P.
How long would it take to guess it?
Eight times quicker than a one word game.
Unless no-one posts because they despise your efforts...
Possibly picturesque paintings put pretty pictures 'pon pillars?
Perch, Pig, Pony, Pygmy, Pike, Polyp, Percheron, Peacock?
Plump pears, perchance per pound, perhaps per person?
If those are guesses, no. Is this fun!?
Perfectly pleasant. Pie, profiteroles, pastries or potted pork?
No, but you're travelling in an appropriate direction!
Patisserie or pork products? I give up peeing.
[pen] Animals then edibles. The answer was "prawn".
When is it lunch time? I'm hungry now.
I have already had my lunch, so there.
Is the weekend over? But I'm not ready!
Worry not, [pen], another will be approaching soon.
Can another weekend come before the new week?
Six days to write a 90 minute speech.
Does anyone listen to a 90 minute speech?
They must, if they want the cocktails afterwards.
Fifteen minutes a day, no problem right pen?
You're forgetting umpteen re-drafts and bloody research, Tuj. -How am I supposed to know what he wants to say? I'm only the writer!!
Pen, ghostwriting is no fun. I know first-hand!
I was best man for groom I barely knew.
My speech was generic: "One speech fits all"
"Laydeees and Gennelmen, Eye thengyew fur turning up!"
Tuesdays are my Mondays. First day at office.
Seven days, but not even eight words. Shameful.
Seems as if no-one has anything to say.
I'm baffled this game has lasted five years.
One, two, three, four, five years? Nice work!
Did you know "Bewildered" does not mean "Astonished?"
You're baffled? You've got things blocking you off?
I assumed "Bewildered" was a synonym for "Confounded".
Gosh, I do love this game. Don't you?
No.
CdM has a thing about following the rules.
I can follow them if I want to. Really.
CdM follows the rule of not following rules.
[Raak] Reverse psychology? Worth a try, I guess!
Happy Guy Fawke's Day As Well As Night.
Guy Fawkes is one thing I really miss.
When do they set off fireworks over there?
Every bloody night, according to Dr Qu+xum (ret'd)
A really big bonfire at Taunton this year.
Yes, that's my coat. Why do you ask?
Can I borrow it? I need to swear.
I rarely need to swear, but do anyway.
Swearing is clinically proven to make things better.
F*ck yeah!
Well, why don't you do it properly, then?
[Rosie] Because some here are monitored by netnannies
Damn it! That was eight words, wasn't it?
Everyone conforms to the norm, sooner or later.
Sorry? Pardon? What? Was someone talking about me?
Are you the Norm or any old Norm?
Is there any such thing as the norm?
Not this Saturday, nope. Everything pleasingly abnormal today.
Who? Me? What? Are you talking about me?
My sister is one more abnormal year older.
On the 25th, I turned 28, quite normally.
Normally? No! You change age every year surely!
Perceived time is a logarithmic function of age.
Do we need to discuss Einstein's Relativity Theory?
We certainly do, because everyone's a neutrino nowadays.
I'm not. I travel much slower than light.
I rarely get home before dark these days.
(pen) There's something of the night about you.
Maybe. Monday morning, good intentions, still in pyjamas.
It's too bloody early. Way too bloody early.
Went out and bought my Christmas tree today
So how was Tuesday for everyone? Dull here.
Like uncooked baked beans, cold and rather windy.
Nearly the shortest day. First; the longest night.
Now, please let's have some lights on, eh?
Beans must be eaten before the wind happens.
Bean emitting gusts shall be returned to Tesco's.
Beans, Beans, The musical Fruit [to be continued]
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel...
We should have beans for all our meals!
Agree. I had beans on toast for breakfast.
Walked in in daylight; first time this year
First time for daylight, I mean; not walking.
I thought you learned to walk each year.
I'd be more amazed if you could fly.
I can fly, but I choose not to.
There is an art, or knack, to flying.
You can learn it from "Teach Yourself Flying".
Hold book, flap at the same time? Impossible!
Perhaps the book's flaps act like stabilisers. Beginning...
Just throw yourself earthwards, and then miss.
I gave my views on this topic here but I needed 42 more words than are approved in this game.
Does it count if you fail to land?
Are you hovering mid-air, waiting for the answer?
I am up in the air over levitation.
I once taught flying in a vivid dream.
Are you sure it was just a dream?
True or False? Dillon - one fifty-eighth of second.
False. False, false, false, false, false! Flippin' false!
You don't know how true that is, Phil.
Pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake; one more pancake? Nope.
At half-time the Up'ards are leading one nil
Down'ards made it one all on day two
Mid'ards stole the ball, reducing things to farce.
Well, that is leap day almost done with.
So now it's March. Spring is almost here!
Where is 'here?'? No sign of it yet.
Here is where I am- on the rock.
I've found an old ha'penny in my change.
It's probably worth more than the 2p substitution.
Are you going to wear green this Saturday?
There's no sign of here yet? Then where?
I shall be wearing red, for rugby reasons.
I shall be drinking Guinness for obvious reasons.
Timne for eight words? Or time to stop?
I'm sure I can think of eight words
Me too! But I won't.
Can we use CdM's self-appointed privileges for good?
Mwaahahahahahahahahahaha!!
Ah ha! CdM ever the maverick, I see.
Attention-seeker, more like. Just ignore him for now.
Ignore who? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Remember rule of thumb: don't feed the troll
How will we get to cross the bridge?
We're back on. That's all right then, chaps.
Back from my trip to Bristol, in fact.
'Back from Bristol' - is that a euphemism, Softers?
Take it as it comes. It's not plural.
Spicy parsnip and cheese puffs. Cook or not?
Just drink the wine and cooking be damned!
Grading, grading, grading, grading, grading, grading, grading, grading






Grading
How is your new roadmaking job going, CdM?
Gradely (a word that comes from Old Norse).
Time for a nice cup of tea, methinks.
Went to Lord's for first time today. Terrific.
Might 'do' Madrid in November. Any recommendations, folks?
Wow -- haven't been in here for AGES. Remind me. What are the rules?
Not sure. I think CdM nicked the rulebook.
Used the pages to write shopping lists, probably.
I use cut-up tea cartons for shopping lists. That should kill it stone dead for another week.
I list to one side when out shopping.
I tend to get very lost in shipping.
My BlueAnchor Bay friend superscopes Bristol Channel ships :)
I've rather missed all this. I think. Anyway.
What can I do with these seven spaces?
Fill them with Dwarves. Or Sins. Or Wonders.
I'd suggest hangman, but that's already occurring elsewhere.
The weather is getting drier or I'm mistaken.
Yes, that's very true; you are indeed mistaken
I'm mistaken for someone I'm not most days.
[Botherer] Nice to see you here Prince Charles!
Listening to French radio sometimes helps. Wonder why?
[pen] I have no idea. My it's hot!
French radio is generally rubbish, except for FIP.
(Softers) What's your it and why's it hot?
A propos nowt, when is it home time?
Soon. Very soon. At least I hope so.
Well, another month already. Autumn is nearly here.
Not quite yet. The weekend was a scorcher.
One week later. And only I speak. Why?
'Cos you're a bit of a chatterbox, Pen.
Is there anyone here who fancies Nigella Lawson?
Not obsessively, Rosie. She is quite attractive though.
She has a sort of louche appeal.
She fancies herself too much for my taste.
Nigella! *daydreams for a while*   No, not me.
The mental image of her father is off-putting!
Thou shalt not have fantasies about Nigella's father!
She is far too sugary in my opinion.
Sugary? Do you mean Nigella or her father?
Her Dad's a climate sceptic and therefore bonkers.
[Rosie] Are you sure that you don't have that backwards?
(CdM) It's quite plausible that he's bonkers a priori.
His name, anagramatically, is We all sign on.
That reminds me of Bob Monkhouse on HIGNFY.
I am not sure about making amusing anagrams.
Are you concerned with the propriety of it?
My hair is now fifty shades of grey.
[pen] Hair dye makes it fifty shades darker.
Then why doesn't it work on my beard?
It is hair dye, it's not BEARD dye.
I am told that you can't dye beards.
No-one told Billy Connolly that. His was pink.
[pen] That's true, but what about his beard?
Are you challenging Phil as top filth merchant?
I do not want filth. Family phrases accepted.
Hidden textI am not sure about making awkward rhopalic.
I have no idea whence this reputation came.
Acrophil sounds like a top man to me.
Apologies, but when they pop up, I'm obliged.
November. Not a good month for eight words?
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, Aug-Oh.
I only know seven words, including these words.
[Phil] No wonder you keep losing at Scrabble.
I'm the one who always loses at Scrabble.
[pen] You might be having a bad spell.
Only seven words I know. These seven only.
At least there is a bit of variety.
Looks like six to me, Phil.
Seven! Including these seven, I know seven words!
But do you know what they mean, severally?
These seven words? Only I know, I know.
I only know I've been to the dentist.
I guess you know the drill by now.
Thankfully, I have learnt more words. Another six.
Are they in English, Welsh, Hungarian or Basque?
Two free lunches this week for me. Hurrah!
No free lunches for me though. Boo! Hiss!
[Rosie] Yes, they're English, Welsh, Hungarian or Basque.
Basque? Isn't that a piece of female underwear?
I thought it was a French lobster soup.
"Helleau. Je suis un Freynch lobsterrrre from Normandie!"
I thought it was the Spanish football coach.
Are you calling pen a charabanc? How ungentlemanly!
He's frighteningly accurate - I have so much seat!
Did CdM just play eight words, as requested?
When eight is appropriate, that's what I use. Usually.
Fashion experts say nine is the new eight.
That's just word game inflation. Resist it!
It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday.
Steady on, Phil, have you asked the wife?
Who do you take me for? Robinson Crusoe?
It's good to see the philth is undiminished.
We'll need another eight words - about Christmas - soon.
Oh how I hope my wages are in.
Merry Christmas to all in the Morniverse today.
Bah! Humbug! But mince pies are rather nice.
More cheese, vicar? Don't mind if I do!
I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas!
I shattered the peace with carols on trombone.
Tromboneronial carols sound fun. I ate too much.
I did not drink enough in my opinion.
I never drink enough at Christmas. Blasted family!
Drinking it and topping up bottles with water?
Awkward being the only drinker in the house.
I made a very alcoholic Christmas Pud sauce.
Was it just a glass of neat brandy?
More like half a bottle and some flour.
Why waste brandy by adding flour, I ask?
Otherwise it would just fall off the fork.
There was also sugar and butter. Tremendously nutritious.
Surely a spoon is the implement for puddingisationalists?
Softers might be going in with a straw!
Custard. That is all I have to say.
Which toothpaste for mains and which for dessert?
I hate most toothpaste. Stupid horrible minty vileness.
Toothpaste is a very good trombone slide lubricant.
Does it keep the trombone in mint condition?
That is one of the better trombone jokes.
Tits pecking at my nuts in the garden.
What has that got to do with trombones?
Trombone: a Swanee Whistle with delusions of grandeur.
Just-a one-a cornetto; one too many, I'd say.
Sorry, pen, didn't realize that trombones were compulsory.
Robot Men! Rob me not or entomb trombone.
The trombone makes a very good water pistol.
In any case I'm better at the piano.
Aiming a piano is harder than aiming trombones.
Seventy-six trombones. Hundred-and-ten cornets. I rest my case.
I thought there was just one cornet. Oh!
(Tuj) There is, as I said on Tuesday.
Good grief. My iPad works in the loo.
Not only that but you've acquired a capital.
I was enthroned at the time. Quite appropriate.
Yes, even Her Maj must have a crap. V good, BTW.
Anyone got owt interesting to say about February?
February : Rub Faery. Be a furry. Bear fury.
Best month: sort of has "brewery" in it.
Even better, it has my birthday in it.
You still won't be as old as me.
What happened to that Twix I just bought?
I had traffic jam at breakfast this morning.
Strawberry, apricot, and gooseberry, layered in the jar.
I find "pen's Twix" very difficult to enunciate.
What a murky February day. Not much fun.
Yes, it is even trying to snow here.
New Year's Resolution not to drink remains intact.
You must be extremely dehydrated. Saves weeing, though.
I'll watch the windy miller teach weather tonight.
I spent most of today doing the ironing.
Yesterday, I watched "O Brother, Where Art Thou?"
Yesterday I painted walls and ceiling - 2 coats
Two coats? Turn the heating up a bit.
Dutch reflexive verbs in the 'past perfectum' - aaaargh.
I shall counter that with - "Welsh prepositional mutations".
It's either too many or too few vowels.
Ancient Greek: Aorist tense. Middle voice. Such fun!
(pen) Actually it's all to do with consonants.
Have just eaten proper, tangy, British cheddar. Delish.
How can cheese be like a mathematical operator?
I don't know. How can it, Rosie? (joke?)
Hello folks, I still exist. That's all really.
Del is a mathematical operator, among other things.
"Number please?" Is that what you allude to?
Even the cheese is holey like a zero.
Will this holey cheese freeze at zero degrees?
Zero is just an eight in a belt.
Haven't you got that precisely arse about face?
Finally have spring weather, which means April showers.
It seems our spring skipped the year again.
I have discovered the delights of lunchtime hiking.
I have discovered the delights of lunchtime lunching.
I have discovered lunches with some delightful hikers.
I have delighted some hikers with lunchtime discoveries.
I've lunched on hikers and discovered they're delightful.
My local café has hiked its delightful lunches.
Anyone got eight lovely words for May? Anyone?
My aunt's middle name was May. Florence May.
Berry, blossom, bug, day, fair, flower, fly, pole
"May the force be with you." Too geeky?
May the Tenth... for lisping campers. (Stolen joke)
Friday post. Three-day Whitsun weekend for cloggies. Hoera!
There was a hoopoe in my garden yesterday
I can't beat that. Saw cranes yesterday though.
Red kites for me yesterday. Yet again. Boring!
Saw peregrines at Lincoln Cathedral today, via webcam.
Today I handed in my notice at work
[NJ] Congratulations!
[INJ] Bold step. What's next, young man? (Apart from making up for other's shortfalls)
[Pen] 'Young man'!? - I'm taking (slightly) early retirement.
Needed eight words. 'Sir', too formal. 'Old', rude.
Hoopoe confirmed as 35th ever sighting in Derbyshire
35th ever bird in Derbyshire? That many? Really?
What exactly constitutes an individual sighting? Serious question.
Oh, come on, you never ask serious questions. :-)
[CdM] Too complex for here - see banter page.
[CdM] So serious it warranted precisely eight words!
I'll use eight words if the occasion demands. If.
Eight words is easy for others. Not you?
I bet CdM thinks he's really cool.
What're the most famous eight words in history?
We will fight them on the beaches. Yeah.
Were you a mod or a rocker, pen?
"To be or not to be? That is"
Body: woman (meek, feeble); stomach: man (hairy, beer)
Four score and seven years ago our forefathers
Let them eat cake, cake, and more cake.
In the beginning were the Words. Eight Words.
The moment one learns English, complications set in.
Please don't say that to a foreign doctor.
Much have I travelled in the realms of gold
He would say that, wouldn't he, your honour?
Mandy Rice-Davies is not quite your type, pen.
Legitimate travelling, or just Bermuda tax domiciling days?
Monday... Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Then... Saturday, Sunday!
Sometimes the weekend should last all week long.
Like each move here's eight words - Eight Days!
OK, done Friday morning. Next: attack Friday afternoon!
Miles and miles and miles of boxes. Help.
Shall I add yet another mile of boxes?
You need some ribbons and bows for them.
Please, God, no. I can't find anything anymore.
Situation critical. Citronella candle keeps going out. Mozzieeessssssss...
Are the mozzies weeing on it or sunnink?
Kamikazi mozzies dive-bombing the guttering flame..... what larks!
I wonder what proportion survive this suicidal megathermality.
Is anyone else watching the tennis? No? OK.
Well actually, I was. I watch much sport.
The people here are turning themselves inside out.
Inside out and falling through ceilings? Sounds dangerous!
What can I say? My workplace is exciting.
Catnip oil keeps mozzies away from your skin.
Isn't catnip oil a Potion of Summoning Felines?
Let's treat this game to some July posts.
Bright sunshine plus "dress down Friday" equals shorts :)
The heat makes me feel like I'm melting.
Here, casual Friday usually means wearing no tie.
Can you get away with wearing no pants?
Ask me again on Friday evening, we'll see.
Do Brits still use "trousers," rather than "pants?"
Yes. And we're always 'Britons', not Brits. Ithengyew.
Many of us use both. Trousers over pants.
Actually, some of us are Brits. But don't tell pen.
Pants are more often undergarments for both sexes.
According to the OED, it's a young herring.
And Brit meaning 'Briton' is third definition down
Reminds me of NOTW and The Sun so...
never use it about myself. Awful ugly abbreviation!
Britons were displaced by Anglo-Saxons. How about Britisher?
[Phil - Bless you!] My shiny new grand-daughter sneezed fifteen times yesterday.
[Chalks] That's almost a whole years-worth in one go.
My shiny new grand-daughter is in New Zealand.
[Software] That's about as far as possible from Jersey.
Six drafts. Now number seven gets underway.
6 drafts? You'r quite a boozer, aren't you?
There's no-one that can drink like our Pen.
If only it was as nice as beer.
Beer absorbed rapidly tonight thanks to prior dehydration.
I am guessing you don't need a humidifier.
A toilet might be a good thing though.
Let's treat this game to some August posts.
Eheu fugaces labuntur anni! Is that august enough?
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose
I Fort Augustus was a town in Scotland.
Another day. Another eight words. C'est la vie.
Wedding anniversary tomorrow. Must remember to visit shop.
Why not try a restaurant? Far more congenial.
Dinner, washing-up, then out for coffee and dessert.
That strange foreign custom - going out for afters
Because it's so expensive to eat out here!
[pen] My french relations do pud and coffee out
Makes sense. Low-fat, low-cal firsts, sweet indulgent afters!
Who's going to give the next eight words?
I solemnly predict that it will be Rosie.
Right. But then immediately wrong again. Tough luck.
One simply cannot win against this fiendish wench.
More predictions: how many words in CdM's next?
And when the next comment about infrequent commenting?
No-one knows all the answers. How can they?
They simply bribe the examiners with propelling pencils.
Oh Wednesday, Thursday Friday, hurry the fuck up.
So, shagging only at the weekend, is it?
No, dear Rosie. I'm sick of being office-bound!
Better than being egg bound one might suppose.
Monday morning office-bound after a weekend outdoors. Ugh.
Life has a predictable cyclic quality, eh, pen?
Certainly does. But no cake today. Cycle fail. :o(
Cake today, I've been promised. My favourite word.
Cake is nice but I prefer the cheeseboard.
Had a nice Ardennais cheeseboard last weekend. Tasty.
You will never make a convincing xylophage, pen.
And you are getting better at pedantry, Rosie! :oP
I think pedantry is a bit cheesy, frankly.
I don't have eight words to spare today.
Neither do I. What a very spooky coincidence.
I've got plenty but I'm a stingy bugger.
Garden centre has Christmas grotto open. Bah humbug.
I'm full of fish, chips and walnut whips.
Fish have scales, therefore a well balanced diet.
Maps have scales and therefore play the piano.
Logic dictates that maps show rights of weigh.
But do they show the rights of Kurds?
Back to England on Thursday. Overnight ferry again.
You do spend lots of time on ferries.
Concerts, birthdays, etc. And it keeps me sane.
Today is my birthday, anniversary of my birth.
The North Sea is not all bad, pen.
Back on t'other side of t'North Sea. Raining.
Is it time to call this a day?
Perhaps, But what would would fill the slot?
This in itself is a source of discussion.
Perhaps something with a different number of words?
Any other integer would feel... not quite right.
Perhaps it should not be an integer then.
I'm afraid there's really no answer to that.
"I'm" and "there's" : one point five words each?
Maybe we should play the game in hexadecimal.
Yes, let's. I would only be forty-seven.
And I've got two years till I'm thirty!
Phil, why is your nose growing so long?
Noses run in our family, I've been told.
You should all try and be more phlegmatic.
My finals are over for the semester. Hooray!
My husband is doing housework. I am redundant.
Maybe you could go and take his job.
I'm on a cross-channel ferry. *waves waves waves*
Merry Christmas to all. I repeat, Merry Christmas!
Maxed out iMac. My Christmas present to me.
From me to me: Trinidad and Tobago Rum.
Windy miller got me an iPhone. Big surprise.
A giant purple rhinoceros occupies my living room.
[KS] Is it still there? Are you coping?
It rode home with me on my trike.
It must be on tricyclics then. Bad news.
Well, the New Year is here, same crap.
Yes, my bowel movements continue to be satisfactory.
Said rhinoceros has not moved. I'm okay, though.
Well, that's good news. What are you on?
Planet Earth, as far as I can tell.
My word, what a cold morning it is.
Still a bit light - and 17.22! No, 17.23!
No such luck for us here on GMT.
By Valentine's Day it's still light at 5pm.
That's at yours, not at mine. We're later.
It gets dark at 6pm here right now.
Where's 'here'? Further south than here, I'll wager.
Where's 'here'? Further north than here, I'll wager.
Hidden text51.3186 N
Correct. I'm at 51.9308°N-4.4792°E and four floors up.
I'm between you. 51.516094N, -1.2460551E, on first floor.
Four floors up, pen? Just about sea-level then.
(Phil) The OS places that in a field.
[Rosie] Not on my map it doesn't, matey.
[Phil] I think it does with pen's coordinates.
(Phil) My OS co-ordinate converter is out of date.
[Rosie] 3.069km, bearing 95°21′18″ from work to home
(Phil) Parsonage Green, then? That looks quite nice.
51.31905N, -0.06190E. Points to right house, wrong address.
Hmmmmm, my directions weren't quite accurate enough apparently.
(Phil) Aldworth, then. An error on my part.
Weekend! Rain now, clearing later, I've been promised.
[Rosie] Correct. Great pub. No mobile phone signal.
I have used a lot of goes recently.
(pen) An infinite source, like that of rain.
[Rosie] I'm beginning to believe that you're right.
I appear to have absolutely nothing to add.
Take it way, Phil, or perhaps multiply it.
Now? I was waiting for the division bell.
I've spilt tea down my shirt already today.
Another fence panel down. It can stay down.
Has it got back up again yet, Rosie?
I asked it nicely and up it leapt.
Would that everything rose so readily these days.
With the exception of ground water, of course. not a sentence....
Not a sentence, but a grammatically correct retort.
Now we are in March; how time flies.
Now we are in March there is frost.
What's for dinner tonight? I have no idea.
I'll be having fish from Barton-on-Humber.
I had fish from Ikea. Flat packed flatfish.
A screwdriver rather than a knife and fork?
FOG! What say you about the fog, Rosie?
Fog here stops planes, newspapers and the mail.
The Clean Air Act (1956) has ruined fogs.
Back in the mists of time. Remember then?
The last move was a week ago. Blimey.
Since then I've been to England and back.
I've been to Oxfordshire and back many times.
Isn't Oxfordshire at the bottom of your garden?
A little further. Two miles down the lane.
It's cruel that Berkshire is now so truncated.
True, "Berks" is ugly; it needs its "shire".
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