arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
Each Move Must Consist Of Precisely Eight Words
help
Just as it says on the tin. What happens in the game may be debated in the game: perhaps it'll be a conversation, perhaps a word-limited reprise of various games we play, or whatever.
arrow_circle_up
Well, at least I broke the octofascistic hold for a couple of moves there. There is hope for you all yet.
Four feet per line makes all words short.
All work no play makes Raak dull boy?
Oh no, not another very difficult poetry game.
(CdM) You have repeatedly trampled octofascism to death. :-)
[nights] Do I detect a weary situational acceptance?
Hard thought is good play for the mind.
Doesn't anyone have eight pithy words for Friday?
We get the day off, in three days.
Let's skive off now for this week end.
The Bank Holiday will be a total washout. Like colonic irrigation.
We have no bank holiday here in France.
The sum shone all day here, no rain.
Some nice weather in Holland, where I stayed.
Day off? My next is seven weeks away.
Sun and Mon had much rain and wind.
Phil, you work from home - it's a pub
I spent the weekend in wet west Wales.
I bet it was warmer than wet northeast Surrey.
Well, it just reached 12C on Monday afternoon.
penelope, I know. Still no days off though.
Goodness it's warm here. 29 degrees today.
There may be 29, but the third's worst.
The second's quite bad enough for a burn. My burn, nearly a year ago, has healed completely.
Quite so, Rosie. Meanwhile, it's Monday, and now...?
[pen] ...for something completely different? I like maps.
(Tuj) It's good to meet a fellow cartophile.
Yeah - the map thing - even when I was young I always needed to know where I was. Sorry - have I broken the 8-word thingy?
Maps rock! Satnav is so crap it hurts.
(Chalky) Not at all, m'dear. Pretend you're CdM. Ooh, get 'im.
[Chalky] Careful. It ain't easy to pretend to be me.
[CdM] Yes, I find that a problem too.
Rosie's last two comments have been somewhat cediemulant.
Maybe so, but this one is satnavophobically Philoconfirmatory. (Tuj) V good, BTW.
Try switching it off and on again, Rosie
I did. It's still James Naughtie wittering on.
Should we switch MC5 on and off again?
I really don't understand what's going on here.
And yet, here you are. How very peculiar.
[FGZstar] Strangely, I think that's almost a prerequisite.
Its raining again from where I am standing.
Are you standing on a cloud then, Software?
It could be that he's having a slash.
Rosie's explanation would better stand up to scrutiny.
Eeeeeuuuuwwww. Not something I'd like to scrutinise, really.
[penelope] Especially not when it is standing up
In that state "rainfall" production is largely inhibited.
It is certainly hard to disprove that statement.
Goodness, I leave for five minutes, and look...
The eight word rule restored? Or something else?
Been away for ages but now I'm back.
I told you it was an addiction, mate.
I held off for four days. Cold turkey.
I went on holiday for a week. Returned.
Not the most popular of games, is it?
It has its moments, perhaps this is another.
Damn. I think I blinked and missed it.
I think that should be blunk, like wunk.
An ant and antelope are after an annulment.
Is that because Ant and Bee hooked up?
I thought that Ant hooked up with Dec
Everyone did - "all hands on Dec" they said.
I thought we were in Jun not Dec.
Yes, we are but not for very long. Clearly this is the Department of Great Thoughts.
So, Tim is out, better luck next time.
[Softers] Your Automatic Wimbledon Comment Generator needs updating.
I wonder if the rain will stop soon?
(Softers) There will be real rain today (Wednesday).
Twelve hours of the wretched stuff so far!!
Don't care. Going to Holland tomorrow, my birthday. :o)
It didn't rain Wednesday at all over here. :o)
We did have a brief shower on Thursday.
Cold and wet in Scotland all next week.
Come on, people! Think of new games!
I know! Each move seven words long!
[CdM] Thirteen words it is you want now then? Yoda speak I like then...
Those aren't new games, just a rearranged version.
To a connoisseur, each number is completely different.
Seven is good, six is better.
I've said it before: it's eight for me.
Yes, quite. It's an octal base for me.
Six words good! Seven words baaaaad!
But five is even better.
Four is plenty.
3?
Whither syntax?
Gone.
( )
i2
This is ridiculous. Let's get back to business.
y?
I'm with pen. Not in the biblical sense.
Ah! So we have a writer amongst us.
I haven't contributed for rather a long time.
Have your knees been playing up, old chap?
The quick brown fox jumps ...to be continued...
.....over the fence and exuberantly shags receptive vixen.
We've now moved to nature study I see.
One for sorrow, two for joy, eight for...?
...the hell of it? Makes sense to me...
I've just made mushroom soup. From mushrooms. Yuk.
(pen) More details, please, particularly regarding the yuckiness.
The soup was delicious. I hate whole mushrooms.
Why does turtle soup contain no whole turtles?
It would be too easy to mock them.
And they don't fit on the soup spoon.
Tried terrapin soup? a nipper in a dipper
I prefer alphabet soup. It's educative, quite literally.
What ever happened to traditional Brown Windsor soup?
Soup's off, dear. Want a nice prawn cocktail?
Soup's off? Did the tanker not turn up?
If the soup's off, there is always Spam.
There is very little nourishment in junk emails.
There is very little nourishment in Spam either.
Very little intellectual nourishment in here right now...
Well, I did watch University Challenge last night.
Were you able to answer any questions, though?
I just like hearing the words "Jesus - HUGHES."
This intellect seems to have halted the flow.
To halt the flow you should take Imodium.
Depends. It could be an incontinence pad, perhaps.
Or Luciano Pavarotti. Oops! Wrong kind of Tena.
Oh dear. It has all gone downhill, innit?
It is easier going downhill than uphill.
Quite so. Gravity has much to answer for.
Gravity is such a drag. Let's lighten up!
Pen - I can not imagine you in drag.
My impression of a woman is quite convincing
Oh dear, dear, penelope. Who told you that?
[Phil] Your boyfriend, wearing pink shirt and earrings.
Pen, you must have had years of practice.
Let her tell us precisely how many years.
Are you all still holding your collective breaths?
I'd rather be holding yours, to be honest.
Rosie, you seem to have developed a lisp.
Yeth I have, and I'm only thixty-five. Geddit?
I thought that I said lisp not limp.
References to limpness will be treated with derision.
Dr. Peabody's Best Derision, one shilling a bottle.
At that price I'll take a dozen, please.
Useful when listening to politcians on the media.
This post has exactly the right number of
Come on, come on, I hate the suspense
...words necessary to pass muster in this game.
Is that all? I was expecting a revelation.
You'll find quite a few at the back.
Does anyone here recall Blue Jam? Quite extraordinary.
No, but I've a jar of blackberry jelly.
(nights) Can you play C Jam Blues, though?
If you can whistle it, I'll try to.
Here it is: Woohoo, -, -, woohoo, woohoo, Woooo Hoo.
Hmm. May be beyond my musical capabilities. Sorry.
Switswoo, la-di-da, switswoo, switswoo, switswoo swoooooo bum bum.
I believe penelope is speaking in tongues again.
What do you expect? It's probably Double Dutch.
It was an Edith Piaf song, Padam Padam.
Ah. I see. Well, very nice, pen. Yes.
Gosh, it is October already. How time flies!
And a new week! Eight Monday words, anyone?
"this, queen, eldritch, lemming, towers, quell, mensch, trauma"
That sounds like a rather promising plot outline.
I, am, fed, up, with, my, job. OK?
Isn't imparting knowledge to others is very fulfilling?
Perhaps you could even teach Rosie about syntax.
Oh dear! So much for the Whoops button.
I was having a bad day. Better today!
Better now indeed. It's the weekend. Laundry looms.
Sorry, pen; what the hell are laundry looms?
Pen, I know what you mean. Laundry. Ugh.
I love ironing. Is that a bit freaky?
Not at all, Pen. What iron've you got?
"Iron've" is an unusual word. Iron've iron've iron've.
You can come and do my ironing, pen.
Steel yourself and cast ironing to the winds.
Teflon plate with sports suspension and steam boost.
Cool. Mine's a rear sidewinder with overhead underhangs.
Mine's a pint. Ironing's just a necessary evil.
A pint of steam? Is that all? Wuss.
It's all right for you, you're a girl.
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard, Softers.
[pen] There's something very Mainwaringesque about that line.
Sorry about that. I was in bossy mode.
[pen] So much for your girly side, then.
Words to the wise. Girly side *is* bossy.
That's the most tautological statement I've ever heard.
Do you want me to tell you again?
Oooh! I like it when you're dominant, pen.
I don't think that was what I meant...
Well, if you don't know, we certainly don't!
I knew none of you knew, you know
We'd like to know if you know, though.
Anyone know if I know what's going on?
I'm not sure. How much do you know?
he knows more than he's letting on. maybe.
I really don't know what's going on here.
It's all on a need to know basis.
I don't wish to know that, oh no.
I think Tuj's real name is John Major.
Who are you calling Major in here, Rosie?
[Rosie] That's hard for a twenty-one-year-old to take!
Fair enough, I never fancied Edwina Curry either.
Nor me, but maybe she's a good shag.
Change of subject. My, what a gloomy weekend.
I appear to have lost a vowel somewhere.
I expect you left it on the train.
[Rosie] Less likely if she has a care.
pen is without a care, not a car.
[Rosie] Are you implying that pen doesn't care?
Quite right. I don't. Off to Holland tomorrow. :D
Auf wiedersehen! No, wait... Bon voyage? Hang on...
Pen? Have you come back from Holland yet?
Yup, back, but 'flu. It stole my holiday.
Football, though, steals the brain, which is worse.
Flu abated, hacking cough, but still off work.
I'm always off work but have to attend.
I do not recognise this thing called "work".
Come now, chaps. Are you lost for words?
Buy me a couple of pints, I'll talk.
That wouldn't get you far in Guantanamo Bay.
Eight words. Beef pie, carrots, cauliflower, gravy. Yum.
Rosemary foccacio, terrine de campagne, raw fennel.
I must have been trying to cut down.
I have a hunger for some proper paté.
Bray's farm pork pies are the very best.
Are they Irish pork and dioxin farm pies?
They insist on only the very best dioxins.
One should always insist the dioxins are organic.
Can Flash Gordon really save the financial world?
What makes you think he'd be so inclined?
Flash! (crash) Ah ah... Saviour of the universe.
My final week at work... demob happy, wooohoooo!!!!
Luck in the Land of Wooden Shoes, penelope.
Words for the week between Christmas and NY?
"The December Sales" is their most prominent feature.
"All Month's Now Available At Knock Down Price's."
Free apostrophe every time. Whether 'needed or 'not.
Those free radicle apostrophes seem to get everywhere.
So, how is everyone finding the new year?
I looked down the back of the sofa.
The revelations of that practice can be horrific.
There's a menthol sweetie down the back of mine
Actually, I'm finding the New Year rather chilly.
It's warmed and wetted up a bit now.
Boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, junk.
Arrived. Semi-unpacked. Jeez, where will it all go?
I reckon penelope needs a new dutch name
"Peneloopij" might provide something like the right pronunciation
Thank you very much. That's just marvellous. Not.
Geen probleem peneloopij, al deel van de dienst.
Intrigued newcomer wonders: is this a clique? Click.
Nah, jump in. Tell us your trivia, Fogey.
(Fogey) Welcome, unless you are older than me.
Does that mean elder's are not welcome, Rosie?
(Softers) Nor larch's, oak's or baobab's either, chum.
Does that mean no cricket Ash's this year?
Hazel yews's birches to remain poplar and spruce?
That reminds me. I've tree writing to do.
Oak aye. (This is my first attempt here.)
I got sunburnt on a beech in cypress.
Rowan a boat on Windermere made me sycamore.
Fir goodness sake, this is getting very silly.
Ivy privet opinion that it's acacia running joke.
No snow talk in here. That's a relief.
The rain will wash away the heagonal crystals.
The nights are beginning to draw in now.
Oi! Not from where I'm standing, they're not.
Are you are removing your winter drawers already?
There must be a spring in her step.
I'll have a word with the Windy Miller.
A Dutch word or an English word, eh?
It doesn't matter. Neither will make much sense.
How about 'wainscot'? English, but with Dutch origins.
Wainscot sounds like a place in say, Oxfordshire.
Goodness me! The sun is actually shining today!
Furthermore, it is visible from the United Kingdom.
(Except for viewers in Scotland, who don't count)
Neither do they in BBC TV weather forecasts.
BBC weather forecasts show weather in the Netherlands.
Ah yes, but is it any better, pen?
No, it's usually worse. Probably get more rain.
Sublime rhyme, "weather in the Netherlands". Whither Neverland?
Neverland? Repossessed by the bank, mate. Hard Luck.
Rain and wind... I have to go out :o(
That's bad luck, the sun is shining here.
What? Even for the global tax avoidance mob?
The sun ALWAYS shines for tax avoidance mobs :o)
But they have to stand in dirty business.
Are you all currently saving up your words?
I am naturally laconic, despite the Cambrian influence.
Every word counts in the current challenging climate.
I thought words were cheap. What has changed?
A change is as good as a rest
Has anyone talked about Twitter in this game?
I don't think so. Should we start now?
I don't know. Is anyone tweeting us yet?
Is this game now "Eight Words A Week"?
Wasn't that an early song by the Beatles?
Did we resolve the Twitter issue at all?
[Software] Yes.
I'll Twitter on here. Is anyone actually interested?
By current activity, no-one will even notice, Pen.
Maybe St George will, its his day today.
On St. George's Day, I went to France.
On St Patrick's Day, America goes to pieces.
On St David's day the Welsh take a leek.
I made lemon cookies this morning. Utterly delish.
I couldn't resist a tasty inverted equilateral triangle.
Did you have custard on it, Rosie?
I was indulging in smart-arse mathematical symbolism.
I See. In France they have Triangle Amande.
Are these the last eight words here ever?
Is the Pope a bear in the woods?
What's more, does His Holiness approve of picnics?
Once upon a time there was this guy.
He became station announcer at Bristol Temple Meads.
He announced the Second Coming, but no-one listened.
A man walks into a pub, now laugh.
He should have looked where he was going.
[Rosie] Now, and just now, did I laugh.
It seems possible to cause mirth on Tuesdays.
Shall we try again tomorrow? It'll be Wednesday.
Does "it'll" count as one word or two?
It it does we both used nine. Whoooops!
Where's the Southeast England Severe Weather Event, then?
I woke up to rain, was that it?
[nfras] I think contractions've always counted as one...
....thing pregnant women would rather not think about.
Ah, yes, but prevention is better than cure.
Ten days is too long without eight words.
That's true. Where have you been then, pen?
Eindhoven, the Neunen watermills that Van Gogh painted.
Shall we continue our discrete dalliance here, pen?
So discreet, I failed to notice it, sorry.
You really know how to hurt a guy.
I trained long and hard for it, Softers
So that's why you ended up in Holland!
Yep, he was the last handsome man standing!
I feel disinclined to disturb this tender conversation.
[Rosie] You may've shattered the illusion of seclusion.
Phew, it's not just me and him anymore
If I can't see you, you're not there.
Either that, or I'm a master of disguise.
It could be dark or foggy. Those polders.
"Polder" rhymes with several other words. Like "older".
Coincidentally, I read what a polder is today.
Coincidentally? I wonder if that is really true.
So true. But then what is the truth?
[Rosie] As opposed to purposely looking it up?
(Knobbly) Er, yes. Maybe I should trust you.
Another week passes by without anyone making comment.
Perhaps it's the end move for this game.
Shall we put it out of its misery?
I think we'll miss it when it's gone.
What to do with these spare eight-word sets?
Pair them up in a sixteen word set?
Melt them down for use in other sentences?
Sell them to call centres as Good English.
Eight is too many for call centre operatives.
Anyone been watching the tennis? Short discussion mind.
No. Short enough?
Andy Murray? A loosing Scot, not winning Brit.
Brit? The word is 'Briton'. Briton! Briton! Briton!
Someone else using 'loosing' when they mean 'losing'
Perhaps he was adjusting his tight jockstrap. Geddit?
Damn spell checkers. They do not understand me.
The spellchecker has no problem with "Brit", though. :-)
The spellchecker is wrong. 'Brit' is an abbreviation.
Yeah well, Brits always say that. :-)
I think CdM is shortchanging us, don't you?
Too right. We demand ALL our words!
I have still got plenty sets of eight.
If life seems pretty rotten, there's something you've
Verboten? That seems to fit. Try again, Knobbers.
Another week has passed by; still no progress.
Not strictly true, Softers. We survived another week.
But to what end? We are but transients.
We eagerly await next week's exciting instalment, Rosie.
The Exciting Adventures of Rosie! This week: PERIL!
What's the excitement in a misspelt washing powder?
I prefer to use BALD, or sometimes TURF.
[Rosie] So, what earth-shattering happenings have outdone that?
Any ideas what to do with a Wednesday?
Hang onto Wednesday for two days. The weekend!
Can we bring Wednesday forward by one day?
That would make it Tuesday, would it not?
The Germans, calling it mittwoch, would be confused.
New news. Our ancient canary died this morning.
Oh dear. I don't know what to say.
A relief really. Poor old thing. Dun Tweeting.
penelope! Get out of the mine now!!
The sad demise of the first web-savvy canary.
Canary's demise may be due to summat else.
Maybe the canary should have quit smoking sooner.
Not a good week for canaries at all.
But a much better one for Colchester United.
[Rosie] We bask in their reflected glory. Ha!
What can one say about these Essex boys?
Use words of one syllable, whatever you do.
OK. Oh, that's blown it from the off.
What a shame you got that wrong, pen.
Another month has passed. A month nearer Christmas.
[Software] A month further from some of them.
Distant Christmasses. The present ages, the gifts go. wha?
[pen] I'm confused. Would you care to elucidate?
[Knobbers] I'm rambling without the right boots on.
Shurely there are no mountaineers in The Netherlands?
Is it all right if I play here?
Of course, provided you promise to be nice.
Hi PaulWay. Is it Friday where you are?
[PaulWay] You should be warned that people disagree about how this game should be played as well*

*More precisely, I come here and behave obnoxiously
Well, one person does. Could be two now.
...some half-hearted hyphen discussion too, though hardly contentious!
Have we discussed bracketed comments on here before?
Yes, and we decided that they should count.
Looks like there are revolutionaries in our midst
Kill them, that's what I say. Kill them!
It's Guy Fawkes Day every day in Leicester.
Leicester sounds a bit cheesy to me, though.
[Softers] Then it follows that they're communist revolutionaries.
Leicester is precisely twice as cheesy as Gloucester.
How do you able to conclude that, Rosie?
Are you referring to my cheesy humour, Rosie?
You need to double Gloucester to make cheese
North South East West Hearts Diamonds Clubs Spades
Tuj, what's that got to do with cheese?
(Phil, Software) I really meant half as cheesy.
(Rosie) You should post more caerphilly next time.
Frankly, I really do not give an Edam.
Good, because I was only shooting the Bries.
Remember that marvellous cheese game from aeons ago?
Aeons ago? Even I am not that old.
I think we'll be the judge of that.
Can I detect a tiny hint of ageism?
Ageism is unrealistic. There'll always be an earth.
A good earth is important for electrical safety.
And critical for good carrots and healthy parsnips.
I've heard of Electric Prunes but never evegetables.
And there are battery hens and Steam Nuts.
Are your battery hens rechargeable? How's it done?
Electrodes up the bum. Well, you did ask.
We have slipped from vegetables to torture methods.
Not at all. This is but benign revitalisation.
A bit like stringing beans, or chopping carrots.
I vote we kill off this dying game.
Do you not have any heart left, pen?
I've got some liver, if that's any good.
Sausages for dinner tonight, I could spare one.
Personally, I like sweetmeats and all other offal.
You can have mine, although they're already chewed.
[pen] Shurely you never had your own sweetmeats?
Two! Four! Six! Eight! Please do not self-immolate!
Why shouldn't I? This room is bloody freezing.
Because there'll be no-one to poke the fire
If I poke the fire I'll be electrocuted.
[Rosie] Do you not have a pet, say?
That is cruel unless it's an electric eel.
Is battery still cruel, even for electric eels?
Fish from my local chip shop is battery.
I bet they overcharge for it too, Rosie.
Fish and chips for tea tonight. Hurrah!
+ 'Yummy'
(Softers) Yes, but there is too much anyway.
Only two more days in Blighty before home.
Does that mean you are going Dutch again?
Nope. Fish and chips is very, very British.
Well, yet another week has passed us by.
And thus, a new week begins. What fun.
Yes, it's Monday, which means Big Band rehearsal. This is getting like Twitter.
HAI GUYS, I'M HAVING A POO! PLEASE RT!
Oh my. That certainly wasn't what I expected.
That's because you're a lady, so I'm told.
I thought that we were being Twitter. Sorry.
Don't worry nights. Any more bowel movements yet?
This game pre-dates Twitter, doesn't it? More, nights?
Nope, I've finished being stupid now. Thank goodness.
Bowel movements are one of life's simple pleasures.
A bit like stealing your neighbour's newspaper, apparently.
What, the Daily Mail? Associated with bowel movements.
Sorry, was irritated that my Libération was missing.
That just serves you right, you dangerous pinko!
Mwahahaha! Forward, socialist agenda! Sorry, got too excited.
[nights] Goodness me you're excitable! I wonder why...
Perhaps because it's nearly the weekend. Good news.
Indeed. I'll bake a thousand mince pies tomorrow.
Pen, I believe that a thousand is exaggerating.
OK, 900 is more accurate. They're hungry here.
Baking!? Surely they have M&S in Southern Dutchland?
More seriously, can you get Robertson's mincemeat there?
[INJ] Bet she makes her own. Goody Two-shoes.
I know. I hate those who out-Christmas Christmas.
Bzzzt! First "Christmas" mention. Defcon level two (/eight).
Mince pies? Yuk! Fruit cake and pudding? Bleaurgh!
Do you sell more beer at Christmas, Phil??
Christmas beer is really very good here. Mmm.
Beer is very good everywhere, except keg stuff.
But Beer in your keyboard definitely isn't good.
[penelope] Oh yes, yes, yes, very much so!
I hope there's beer in my Christmas stocking.
Wouldn't it stick all the chocolate money together?
Beer, chocolate and stockings, everything a man wants!
Actually INJers - not many women would say no :)
Sounds like a winning Christmas to me, guys.
Is it time to sing Christmas carols yet?
[Softers] No no no no no no NO!
Thank goodness for that. I don't like them.
"While Shepherds Washed Their Socks By Night", anyone?
Adeste fideles, laete triumphantes, venite, venite, in Bethlehem
Shouldn't that be "ad"? Or is that commercializing Christmas?
Don't criticise if you can't count to eight.
Two, four, six, eight. So CdM is innumerate.
*filthy spoons alert* The Whore's Bed Carol swings.
CdM's not been playing by the rule throughout.
We cannot put up with this consistent non-conformity.
Certainly not. Some sort of action is needed.
*looks innocent*
Oh no you don't, CdM, you treacherous scoundrel!
He may have the face of a cherub.
But he has the heart of a devil.
Perhaps we could nominate a translator for him?
Tuj, I think that got lost in translation.
Your fluency in Dutch has overwhelmed you, pen.
Underwhelmed more like. I have another lesson tonight.
From the Windy Miller? What sort of lesson?
One-to-one proper Dutch lesson, cancelled because of snow.
It's snowing again. I'm fed up of this.
I still love snow! But I don't drive...
Snow? You can keep it. Give me sun.
*yawns* Can we talk about something else please?
"Able acrobats aren't always adept at aquatic athletics"
But belligerent boxers behave better befriended by ballerinas
Competitive combatant cum chassé-champion combination? Complete cobblers!
Drawn-out deliberations decide delinquent débutantes' diatribes don't deserve...
Every energetic element easily emits energy each evening.
Five fresh-faced foreign fishermen found Folkestone fairly frightening.
Girls giving Greek guys gonorrhea generally go ga-ga.
Happy Helen helps her husband have his honey.
Incredible ignorance ignites indifference into implied imagined insults.
"Japanese jurisprudence justifies jailing Janis Joplin," jokes Jung.
Kindly Kurd Kirsty kissed kinky kipper killer Kelly.
Let lovable land-locked little Lesotho lure lager louts.
Moreover, most morniverse members mention many miscellaneous matters.
No nay never - Ner ner ne ner ner!
Onomatopeia obviously offers one option, only obscuring others.
Peter Piper poked people's pets, producing pitiful protestations.
"Quit Quake quickly?" queried Quentin, queuing quite quietly.
Roger Rabbit reckons Rebecca Raccoon's rear requires rogering
"Stop sniffing, Stephanie!" shouted Sister Sally, scowling sternly.
The through trains to Taunton tend to tardiness. (Chalky) Ace filth, m'dear.
Umpires' union uniformly unites unemployed umbrella undertakers, unusually. To be fair, U is not one of the easier letters.
Victor vaunted valueless Valentine's votives - vainly: Valerie vomited.
When? Where? Who? What? Why? Women worry wearilessly.
Xhosan Xavier's xanthous xenogeny, xylographer Xerxes, x-rayed xoloitzcuintles.
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Phil's effort*
xoloitzcuintles? What a distracting word! Looks vaguely smutty ;^)
Yr ydych yn ysgrifennu yn yr ystafell yma.
Hidden text = You are writing in this room.
 Someone have a go in English.
[Rosie] I'll take your word for it. Bravo!
[Audience] Thank you
[Rosie]"You yellow Yankee!" Yasmin yelled yesterday. Yves yawned.
"Zounds!" zithered zany Zaza, zeroing Zog's zesty zeal.
Well done, Raak, for not mentioning Zinedine Zidane.
Zizou? I 'ave never 'eard of eem. Zut!
Alphabet been completely done? Exciting fresh gauntlet heaved!
Hidden textanyone fancy taking on bcdefghi?
Blair carelessly disseminated equivocal facts garnering headlines internationally.
Hidden textcdefghij - is the next one
Could dear Elizabeth Fry get herself in jail?
Does elocution fusspot get huffy in Jamie's kitchen?
Ever fancied getting huge implants? Just kidding, love.
Furry gloved hands intend just kindling love, mother.
Ghastly Harry's in J.K.'s latest magic novel.
Having impressively jointed knees lets me navigate outlandishly.
I just knew last Monday's netball outcome. Psychic!
Jeremy Kyle legitimises me nodding off pretty quickly.
King Lear? Midsummer Night? Othello? Please quote regularly.
Let Midsomer Norton's older parishioners quit robust sex.
My neighbours often peek quietly 'round some trees...
Note our Prince's quirky royal standards, tremendously urbane.
Obama's persuasive questioning requires sceptics to uncover venality.
I just keep laughing, mocking niceties of play, quite regularly scorning to use VIII words
Hidden textL'esprit d'escalier makes me wish I had prefaced that with: Ah, but CdM decries eight fetish gleefully, hence...
[CdM] Disappointed that you didn't rise to the challenge of the XYZ full house...
People quaffing really strong tequila unfortunately vomit woefully.
Quite right. Strong tequila upsets, verified with x-ray.
Really sloppily, Tuj uses only four sequential letters.
This game has lost its momentum, it seems.
Well, it never really had much forward velocity.
It tends to come and go, in waves.
In that respect it seems to resemble desire.
Desire for carnal conjugation or for something else?
Perhaps for street cars, they have forward velocity.
The old Croydon trams had little of that.
Are there any famous eight-word quotations out there?
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
By definition that's surely seven and a half ;)
"Elementary, my dear Watson"
You are four words short, my dear Holmes.
Would nine words make this game more popular?
Twelve and a half percent extra? Who knows?
CdM seems to like it at any length.
Having a dirty mind, I'd say that's libellous.
Due to inflation, every move now has nine words.
All right then pen, I'll go along with that.
This introduces a whole new dimension to the game.
I find it requires a bit of extra thought.
I thought that we were still in a recession.
Perhaps we could think our way out of it.
I doubt Gordon Brown'll be around much longer
Why is that, FGZ, are you planning an assassination?
No, Software. Your last move was too long.
Au contraire, matey, for nine is the new eight. See above - confusingly, we've got bored with octality.
I graciously concede. Let us all embrace the nonality!
I don't like it, sir. Not one little bit!
[Phil] Come on man! We must all embrace change.
I agree with you entirely. Neuf est tout neuf.
[Rosie] Moi, je dis huit "Oui"s à huit. Oui?
Please could we revert to English? I'm confused.
I'd be delighted if we reverted to eight words.
I now agree, and here is the proof.
I concede I found nine a bit odd.
Nine *is* odd. That's the nature of the number!
We want nothing to do with perfect squares.
In botany, "perfect" means both male and female.
In human biology, perfect is an impossibility
Well there's perfect, and then there's too perfect.
Let us not mention the Footballer's Perfect, then.
[Rosie] There's an oxymoron if ever I saw
(Chalky) There's blood everywhere if ever I saw.
And so some more blood has been spilt.
This game is starting to resemble a slaughterhouse.
He mocks the Morniverse. Off with his head!
I mock it not. Anyway, a bank holiday
What we really need is a Bankers' Holocaust.
Is that quite similar to a hung parliament?
What's the Footballer's Perfect? Can anyone explain it please?
"The referee's given a penalty". Should be "gave."
Has given = correct. Has gave = incorrect. Rosie = tired? :^)
Octoverbal constraints, m'dear. I'd say Chalky = wind-up merchant. :-)
Time for a change of subject I think.
Does anybody fancy talking about the World Cup?
Oh God, not that. Please. Anything but that.
I am gratified that your response is so.
Good bowling, good tactics, too many South Africans?
Have we stumbled into a different world series?
In Football, New Zealand qualified. Scotland didn't. *sob*
I really like football but I've had enough.
I never really liked it to begin with.
I'm sports loopy! But I keep quiet here.
Mostly I keep everyone else quiet too *sigh*
That may be true, but does it matter?
Does anything matter? Why are we here anyway?
We are here to make eight words each.
Speak for yourself.
Oh, don't you start.
Oh not this argument again!
Clearly it is.
Come, come, Morniversers and let's stop pissing about.
[Rosie] Isn't that exactly what we're here for?
It might be why you are here, Tuj.
We must piss about in an orderly manner.
[Rosie] Surely that is an oxymoron, isn't it?
Not necessarily. Think of it as Bounded Chaos.
Complex, seemingly random conversations that actually have patterns?
Nine has four sides; it's both male and female.
Mine has four sides; it is mostly male.
[Rosie] Are you sure that's the right game?
Does it matter so long as we play?
Yes, let's play the game, no nit picking.
Knit picking is just what I do, though.
If you pick nits, it means you remove lice, right?
No, you may just choose them. Restoring the 8-word average.
[Rosie] How do you expect me to choose?
Anyone for eight concurrent games of Cheddar Gorge?
Shall I lead? Dear Sir or Madam; Please
find enclosed an affidavit from His Excellency, The
Most Delectable Lord High Milkman of Chesterfield, who
is
currently undergoing treatment for a condition that may (CdM) Predictable.
, under certain circumstances, lead to a considerably worse
state of economic decline in relation to the
Milk Marketing Board's recent disastrous adoption of the
zloty than even the most zealous and hardline
members of the communist party (North Cheam branch)
would have believed possible, and I therefore request
That this game of cheddar be concluded immediately.
Well, that was fun, but rather too easy.
How about eight concurrent games, to end simultaneously?
{Raak] an interesting concept but probably quite tricky.
Especially if each "row" must also make sense.
That's actually what I suggested. Worth a try?
Yes. Here goes: There are three different ways
For some people that have strange ideas about
Making their way through the narrow supermarket aisles
[4]"Beware the tungsten death aardvark," said the man,
who was leaning against the stack of pineapples.
brought from the tropics only two days ago
seafood from there is not safe to eat
as the oil spill is out of control.
I guess the full stop means it's finished.
Shall we continue as before, making frivolous observations?
Why don't we start a new consecutive Cheddars?
I think that's a good (but cheesy) idea.
I like cheesy flavoured food, especially real cheese.
Spray cans do not have that original taste
You are not supposed to eat the can.
Let us start a new topic of conversation.
My computer wants to eat my sister, Giertrud.
My sister seems to be sure of this.
Are you two related? Do you share sisters?
[penelope] They may not but I do sometimes.
Giertrud is my younger, and very weird, sister.
I am playing with my sister's dog, Woofles.
Don't forget that the computer is very hungry.
That means the computer wants a Big Mac.
Stand Back! I'm raiding the office biscuit tin.
Feed the ginger nuts to the computer, pen.
I try, but the mouse gets them first.
Well, pen, what you need is a cat
A coarse-furred and fearsome beast called Boris, say.
Boris, is that like Bluto from Popeye cartoons?
That image is going to stick with me!
Bluto was a pussycat really, so to speak.
Yeah, he had to play soft for Olive.
Your olives are soft? Cooked them too long!
I think Giertrud started with the double entendres.
Today is an august occasion, last of many.
Don't be so Septemberish. Think of the autumn!
We now have Rs in the month again.
Also numbers in Latin. August should be Sexber.
I'm confused. When would my birthday be then?
(pen) January or February? Then Undecember or Duodecember.
Today's 90210. Did you watch Beverly Hills?
T'was only 90210 in America... Day first, please!
American's had 9/11, we had 7/7. Avoids confusion.
But 7-11 is a convenience store. Free slurpees?
'Slurpees'? Now who is on the double entendres?
Actually, today in Britain it's 8/9/10 - that works.
I only know "slurpee" as a cold drink.
Sounds more like one at body heat (coat!)
Body heat, 37 degrees, Taraval, Parkside San Francisco
Don't they use Fahrenheit scale in San Fran?
Maybe he means cold-blooded creatures such as fish.
You mean Shion Sono's new movie "Cold Fish"?
>I have never even heard of this movie!
I've heard of the movie called "Catfish," though.
Plus, I have also heard of "Big Fish."
'Big Fish' are only ever figments of imagination.
Yes, my mate never caught a thirty-pound carp.
What's that Rosie? You do nothing but carp.
I perch, being a Norwegian Blue, albeit dead.
I goldfish. That is, I fish for gold.
I hake. Hall over. It's the Harthritis. Houch!
I kip, therefore I must be a kipper.
I've just had my shoes soled and eeled.
I hear sea shanties. Must be someone's Icod.
Speak up, Rosie, my herring's not so good.
(Softers) Surely you can still hear the bass.
(Rosie) No, mate, I have a bad cod.
Maybe you need the drumming of Max Roach.
Ah, Fish puns, fish puns, roly-poly fish puns!
I dolphin-ately am enjoying this bit of luna-sea.
Isn't it a great song, Salmon Chanted Evening.
Another song beckons: Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
[Phil] It's neither the time nor the plaice...
Maybe it's time to get our skates on.
I'd better take my mackerel I'll get soaked.
[Porter!] Even if I'm accompanied by Colin Sell?
Not even John Dory would make any difference.
I think Nemo would take offense at these.
Not even eight words all weekend. Why not?
Perhaps there has been an overtime ban, pen.
Overtime schmovertime. There's always eight words to spare!
Feel free to borrow any of these ones.
Right, I will go for a "feel" then.
Good man. Do not bypass the gentlemanly preliminaries.
Software, somebody might want to "cop a feel."
Perhaps someone'd also like to feel a cop.
Yes, certain people like a bit of helmet.
Well, I think that can't be capped, Rosie
Could be if it were a welfare benefit.
Also if it spouted oil, thus aiding lubrication.
Or played cricket, rugby or a sitting-down game
Or were getting on in years a bit.
You and me, Rosie, but what about others?
Don't worry. We're getting older all the time.
'There's no turning back' said the forward thinker
Stopped clock is right two times a day.
What's the time being we do things for?
Has anyone got an idea for a game?
Pheasant. A very tasty game.
Oh bugger, mixed up haiku and eight words.
And too bold, too bold, too bold! Arse.
And there isn't even a haiku game here.
Except one with word count: eight, eight, eight
This game is very good. Carry on chaps.
That would seem to exclude penelope. Won't do.
*chaps it up with the best of them*
We cannot have sex or gender discrimination here!
*wonders about the difference between sex and gender*
*gives INJ a lesson on birds and bees*
Phew. Back to birds. Pheasant, a tasty game.
Constabulary. Also known as piggery. Full of filthiness.
Eight word haikus could become quite the thing.
Sex and gender are different: Learned in college.
Also, would be left out if only chaps.
Revisit Phil's words. Consider gauntlet taken. Excellent challenge!
They taught you sex in college? How worrying!
They teach each other about sex in college.
Forget the sex! Eight word haiku's the thing.
Poetry shmoetry! Give me sex every time, mate.
Club called VOX wanted to teach safe sex.
Garden waste in Esher is placed in secks.
Now even the Pope is promoting safe sex.
Garden waste in Escher goes in Klein bottles.
(Raak) In Klein bottles? What does that mean? otherwise v good BTW
A non-orientable surface with no "inner" or "outer" sides.
Whoops. For a mathematician I'm rubbish at counting.
[Felix Klein] That makes you a qualified accountant.
(pen) Or a member of a musical ensemble.
Have an accountant friend: says, "But that's math!"
(Rosie) I like ensembles that sing birthday songs.
There are, I understand, three kinds of mathematician.
No, 10. Those who understand binary / the rest.
[INJ] Thunder stealing is neither big nor clever, sir!
Three kinds of people: Can count, can't count.
That's the funniest thing you've said all year.
Well, the year is nearly over, isn't it?
I hate saving the best until last.
Snow, snow, snow... when will it ever end?
Snow, of course, ends with the letter W!
There's no snow here in Lake Charles, LA!
It has ended here. The sun is shining.
[Softers] What has ended? The week? The silliness?
[pen] Whatever floats your boat, I would say.
The existence of buoyancy has ended? Oh my.
[Tuj] Aye. Anyone else getting that sinking feeling?
If the Netherlands sink any further they'll disappear.
Dam it, that's what I say, dam it.
Know what I say? Leave it to beavers.
Which body of water do you want dammed?
Damn the lot of them. Damn you all!!!!
I say, pen, this is most unlike you.
It is probably the stress of seasonal shopping.
Dutch shops are utterly useless for Christmas shopping.
Yes, after Sinter Klaus they are bought out.
There was never anything interesting in them anyway!
Not even caps? They can always be useful.
Too many big box stores in the USA.
Is a 'box store' a cash and carry?
More like a smash and grab, I think.
I think in the UK, they are ASDA?
I would want to get outta ASDA ASAP.
Why? I quite like ADSA. Better than Tesco.
You ain't seen a Dutch supermarket yet, chaps.
Yes I have. I do quite like Vla.
It's just cold custard! Gullible, gullible, lemon gullible.
Also comes in chocolate flavoured gullible. Syrup waffles!
Stroop wafels - yeah, especially fresh and still warm.
Misheard lyrics: Windmill cookies, they'll give you gonorrhea!
Uh? Gier? You okay? Stroopwafels - cookies in USA.
Sometimes, people just don't make senseto me.
I don't even know what "senseto" means
Me neither. Any other buggers got any clues?
sen-se-to: Japanese art of making much with little.
'Twould be quite different making mulch with little.
Sen-se-o: Art of pretentious coffeemaking using expensive gadget.
Ooh, Sen-sei: Line from a cancelled Carry-on film.
Pen, I thought that had the name Starbucks.
Not many in this Dutch nation of coffee-drinkers.
Pen, would that be Sterdollar or something similar?
Doncha know Europe uses Euros, not dollars, Giertrud?
Not all of Europe: Great Britain has pounds.
I know. I'm British, living in continental Europe.
You just have to admire the Swiss though
Phil, on what basis do you admire them?
They roll extremely jammily, whilst yodelling folk songs?
They make extremely good knives for their army?
Own up - what have you done with Rosie?
She was absolutely delicious served on buttered toast.
[GGZS] Deffo wasn't you. Rosie is a he.
Ros-he? Well then, who was it I ate?
(FGZstar) Not female - not young either. See here.
So merely a confusing choice of name, then.
No, perfectly logical when you know his name.
Re: Swiss - well, there's the Geneva bus system
I happen to like the chocolate Swiss rolls.
Well, does the Geneva bus system bus tables?
Does the previous sentence have a word missing?
No. It uses the American verb 'to bus'.
'Twas an American who said "Verbing weirds nouns."
But isn't it an adjective that's been weirded?
"to bus" is a back formation from "busboy"
"busboy" itself seems to come from "omnibus boy"
"omnibus" being Latin for "for everything", of course
Ahem, I think in this case "for everybody".
Latin aside, what else is new and interesting?
Shall we discuss the upcoming Oscars luvvy parade?
Only if I can register my supreme indifference.
No registrations are being taken at this time.
Oh, good. That means you can park anywhere.
Even on a cloud up in the sky?
Virtual parking? The government will surely tax it.
Croydon Council even taxes virtuous parking, the bastards.
Gives them something to feel good about, probably.
My telescope objective is free from spherical aberration.
Nice to know. How's your belly for spots?
A spot on my belly meant chicken pox.
Hummmph! Now you've spread contagion into the game!
Coughs and sneezes spread diseases, so they say.
There are many agreeable ways of infecting people.
Sharks with laser beams is NOT a method!
Sharks with laser beams is from Austin Powers.
Sharks with bank accounts are from Austin, Texas
Pleased to report windy miller much improved today.
(pen) Good. May his quixotic pursuits continue unabated.
The sun is shining bright. Well here, anyway.
(Softers) Here also. Shows up all the dust.
Here too. I had to clean the windows.
(pen) Did you play your jolly ukulele simultaneously?
[Rosie] The strings sound funny when they're wet.
(pen) They would, like those of pub pianos.
Eight words for April, anyone? Someone? We're desperate.
How about: where are all the April showers?
They are biding their time, menacingly, until summer.
We've already had at least three of them.
A big storm came through Lake Charles, LA.
We need April flannels and April soap, too.
Time for your spring clean, Giertrud? Have fun!
April flannels? Surely it's too early for cricket?
Not at all. Durham was playing on Sunday.
Summer comes early to East and West Hartlepool.
Right. I'm off to work. Happy Friday, folks.
Ha! Work. The state pays me not to.
[Rosie] Can't wait, only 1038 days to go.
A mere youth. Friday fortnight I'll be 25,000.
I'm sailing back to Blighty on Wednesday - hurrah!
I'm sailing to France on Friday, hurrah too!
[software] Me too. A full wedding avoidance week.
As usual during the day, the telly's off.
I will be sipping beer and relaxing, myself.
Oh? Wedding Avoidance? Is someone getting married? (heh!)
My Union flag will fly in our straat
Unfortunately, even the French television will cover it.
Gier, don't act like you are not interested.
You know I'm being sarcastic -- teasing the Brits!
Brits are notorious for misunderstanding sarcasm...and irony.
I fail to see the irony in that.
As regards sunsets, coppery is better than irony.
Isn't irony what British humour is mostly about?
(Knobbly) I assume that is third-order irony.
Most British humour is lavatorial, isn't it? *snigger*
That is why it's gone down the pan.
Right down the pan, just ask Mervyn King.
I wish I had gone to bed earlier.
pen, where you tired or for another reason?
Regularly in bed too late, always up early :o(
It's been the driest spring since records began.
Hidden textMy records, that is, so 1983.
In Surrey, maybe. In Jersey only number two.
Sounds nice; I have always fancied desiccated rock.
Rain at last. Wish it would go away.
Same here. Least the drought warning's been lifted.
Why can I not stop thinking of doughnuts?
<mode="Homer">Mmmmmmm... Doughnuts</mode>
For completeness, please say 'doughnuts' three more times.
Doughnuts doughnuts doughnuts. Happy now?
[CdM], That is not eight words all at once.
I guess New Jersey takes after Old Jersey.
CdM doesn't need to count; he's an economist.
In this game, CdM's entries just don't count.
New Jersey is much bigger than Old Jersey.
Old jersey has probably shrunk in the wash.
Not just Old Jerseys. My new-ish one shrank.
I imagine that would enhance your delightful contours.
[K] "Eight words all at once." Now are you happy?
I don't know about you, but I am.
I'm happy enough, for now. No particular reason.
I'm not very happy; but that's my problem.
I'm not very happy; but that's my problem.
Sort it our guys. Whose problem is it?
I don't think it's my problem - no explosions.
Pull yourselves together, you miserable bunch of wimps.
That's almost the end of a knock-knock joke.
It would seem nights is a flatulence therapist.
[Knobbers] Happily, there's no end of knock-knock jokes.
Oh, but that I were. Such great fees.
Knock, knock. Who's there? A doctor. Doctor who?
I don't get it.
Does CdM intentionally flout the word count rule?
To assume otherwise would be to invoke innumeracy.
And we all know that could prove distastrous.
Maybe. But other reasons are even less flattering.
CdM believes the market should set the count
By his reckoning, we would all be short-changed!
I just put the definitive answer in "Movies."
[CdM], I'm happy, but that's still ten words.
I'm not happy, because Rupert Murdoch's still alive.
[KS] I'm afraid irach beat you to it
Yup, time for another eight words before Friday?
A restaurant sign here says 8 is great.
All I need do is write eight words?
Only if they are exactly the right words.
If not, someone might get testy. Or grumpy!
Where do I find the arbiter of rightness?
Oh, well. Maybe my next one'll be good.
[cfm] Me.
I hope so, Kaggers. Next time, try harder!
If in doubt; try, try, try, try, try again.
One, two, miss a few, ninety-nine, one hundred.
[CdM] I'd like to have eight words with you.
Play nicely, boys. What plans for het weekend?
Doing not a lot between all the visitors.
Get together with Mrs INJ's folks down South
Enumerating the definite article in all European languages.
Barbecue on Sunday perhaps? Two days before birthday :-)
Same thing I do every day, Pinky: nothing.
[pen] I'll be playing nicely with the boys
Reunion piss-up with old housemates in Bristol area.
Entertaining new nieces for a day - teenaged twins.
Wishing Phil a happy birthday, for one thing.
[Tuj] I learned that rhyme in middle school.
In New York, we learned something else entirely.
I learned many rhymes while in elhi grades.
Tuj and Kag, I learned it in Kindergarten.
GiertKag RudShuko - so not that long ago, eh?
Last workday before nuptuals. Too much to do!
If anybody present knows a reason why...
I used to shoot weddings -- it was fascinating.
Ceremony takes 10 minutes. Party takes 10 hours.
That seems to be in the right proportion.
Blissfully short, and in a foreign language. Perfect.
Finally, summer arrives. It's too bloody hot today.
Never fear, penelope. Rain is on its way.
And blustery whippy windiness. I do love autumn.
It's whipping round the 6th floor at 50kph
How jolly exciting! Is the wind blowing too?
Chalky, I'll take that statement as a compliment.
Whipping? Are we talking cream or sadomasochistic stuff?
I'm thinking of split cane fly fishing rods.
I'm thinking of a word beginning with P.
How long would it take to guess it?
Eight times quicker than a one word game.
Unless no-one posts because they despise your efforts...
Possibly picturesque paintings put pretty pictures 'pon pillars?
Perch, Pig, Pony, Pygmy, Pike, Polyp, Percheron, Peacock?
Plump pears, perchance per pound, perhaps per person?
If those are guesses, no. Is this fun!?
Perfectly pleasant. Pie, profiteroles, pastries or potted pork?
No, but you're travelling in an appropriate direction!
Patisserie or pork products? I give up peeing.
[pen] Animals then edibles. The answer was "prawn".
When is it lunch time? I'm hungry now.
I have already had my lunch, so there.
Is the weekend over? But I'm not ready!
Worry not, [pen], another will be approaching soon.
Can another weekend come before the new week?
Six days to write a 90 minute speech.
Does anyone listen to a 90 minute speech?
They must, if they want the cocktails afterwards.
Fifteen minutes a day, no problem right pen?
You're forgetting umpteen re-drafts and bloody research, Tuj. -How am I supposed to know what he wants to say? I'm only the writer!!
Pen, ghostwriting is no fun. I know first-hand!
I was best man for groom I barely knew.
My speech was generic: "One speech fits all"
"Laydeees and Gennelmen, Eye thengyew fur turning up!"
Tuesdays are my Mondays. First day at office.
Seven days, but not even eight words. Shameful.
Seems as if no-one has anything to say.
I'm baffled this game has lasted five years.
One, two, three, four, five years? Nice work!
Did you know "Bewildered" does not mean "Astonished?"
You're baffled? You've got things blocking you off?
I assumed "Bewildered" was a synonym for "Confounded".
Gosh, I do love this game. Don't you?
No.
CdM has a thing about following the rules.
I can follow them if I want to. Really.
CdM follows the rule of not following rules.
[Raak] Reverse psychology? Worth a try, I guess!
Happy Guy Fawke's Day As Well As Night.
Guy Fawkes is one thing I really miss.
When do they set off fireworks over there?
Every bloody night, according to Dr Qu+xum (ret'd)
A really big bonfire at Taunton this year.
Yes, that's my coat. Why do you ask?
Can I borrow it? I need to swear.
I rarely need to swear, but do anyway.
Swearing is clinically proven to make things better.
F*ck yeah!
Well, why don't you do it properly, then?
[Rosie] Because some here are monitored by netnannies
Damn it! That was eight words, wasn't it?
Everyone conforms to the norm, sooner or later.
Sorry? Pardon? What? Was someone talking about me?
Are you the Norm or any old Norm?
Is there any such thing as the norm?
Not this Saturday, nope. Everything pleasingly abnormal today.
Who? Me? What? Are you talking about me?
My sister is one more abnormal year older.
On the 25th, I turned 28, quite normally.
Normally? No! You change age every year surely!
Perceived time is a logarithmic function of age.
Do we need to discuss Einstein's Relativity Theory?
We certainly do, because everyone's a neutrino nowadays.
I'm not. I travel much slower than light.
I rarely get home before dark these days.
(pen) There's something of the night about you.
Maybe. Monday morning, good intentions, still in pyjamas.
It's too bloody early. Way too bloody early.
Went out and bought my Christmas tree today
So how was Tuesday for everyone? Dull here.
Like uncooked baked beans, cold and rather windy.
Nearly the shortest day. First; the longest night.
Now, please let's have some lights on, eh?
Beans must be eaten before the wind happens.
Bean emitting gusts shall be returned to Tesco's.
Beans, Beans, The musical Fruit [to be continued]
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel...
We should have beans for all our meals!
Agree. I had beans on toast for breakfast.
Walked in in daylight; first time this year
First time for daylight, I mean; not walking.
I thought you learned to walk each year.
I'd be more amazed if you could fly.
I can fly, but I choose not to.
There is an art, or knack, to flying.
You can learn it from "Teach Yourself Flying".
Hold book, flap at the same time? Impossible!
Perhaps the book's flaps act like stabilisers. Beginning...
Just throw yourself earthwards, and then miss.
I gave my views on this topic here but I needed 42 more words than are approved in this game.
Does it count if you fail to land?
Are you hovering mid-air, waiting for the answer?
I am up in the air over levitation.
I once taught flying in a vivid dream.
Are you sure it was just a dream?
True or False? Dillon - one fifty-eighth of second.
False. False, false, false, false, false! Flippin' false!
You don't know how true that is, Phil.
Pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake; one more pancake? Nope.
At half-time the Up'ards are leading one nil
Down'ards made it one all on day two
Mid'ards stole the ball, reducing things to farce.
Well, that is leap day almost done with.
So now it's March. Spring is almost here!
Where is 'here?'? No sign of it yet.
Here is where I am- on the rock.
I've found an old ha'penny in my change.
It's probably worth more than the 2p substitution.
Are you going to wear green this Saturday?
There's no sign of here yet? Then where?
I shall be wearing red, for rugby reasons.
I shall be drinking Guinness for obvious reasons.
Timne for eight words? Or time to stop?
I'm sure I can think of eight words
Me too! But I won't.
Can we use CdM's self-appointed privileges for good?
Mwaahahahahahahahahahaha!!
Ah ha! CdM ever the maverick, I see.
Attention-seeker, more like. Just ignore him for now.
Ignore who? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Remember rule of thumb: don't feed the troll
How will we get to cross the bridge?
We're back on. That's all right then, chaps.
Back from my trip to Bristol, in fact.
'Back from Bristol' - is that a euphemism, Softers?
Take it as it comes. It's not plural.
Spicy parsnip and cheese puffs. Cook or not?
Just drink the wine and cooking be damned!
Grading, grading, grading, grading, grading, grading, grading, grading






Grading
How is your new roadmaking job going, CdM?
Gradely (a word that comes from Old Norse).
Time for a nice cup of tea, methinks.
Went to Lord's for first time today. Terrific.
Might 'do' Madrid in November. Any recommendations, folks?
Wow -- haven't been in here for AGES. Remind me. What are the rules?
Not sure. I think CdM nicked the rulebook.
Used the pages to write shopping lists, probably.
I use cut-up tea cartons for shopping lists. That should kill it stone dead for another week.
I list to one side when out shopping.
I tend to get very lost in shipping.
My BlueAnchor Bay friend superscopes Bristol Channel ships :)
I've rather missed all this. I think. Anyway.
What can I do with these seven spaces?
Fill them with Dwarves. Or Sins. Or Wonders.
I'd suggest hangman, but that's already occurring elsewhere.
The weather is getting drier or I'm mistaken.
Yes, that's very true; you are indeed mistaken
I'm mistaken for someone I'm not most days.
[Botherer] Nice to see you here Prince Charles!
Listening to French radio sometimes helps. Wonder why?
[pen] I have no idea. My it's hot!
French radio is generally rubbish, except for FIP.
(Softers) What's your it and why's it hot?
A propos nowt, when is it home time?
Soon. Very soon. At least I hope so.
Well, another month already. Autumn is nearly here.
Not quite yet. The weekend was a scorcher.
One week later. And only I speak. Why?
'Cos you're a bit of a chatterbox, Pen.
Is there anyone here who fancies Nigella Lawson?
Not obsessively, Rosie. She is quite attractive though.
She has a sort of louche appeal.
She fancies herself too much for my taste.
Nigella! *daydreams for a while*   No, not me.
The mental image of her father is off-putting!
Thou shalt not have fantasies about Nigella's father!
She is far too sugary in my opinion.
Sugary? Do you mean Nigella or her father?
Her Dad's a climate sceptic and therefore bonkers.
[Rosie] Are you sure that you don't have that backwards?
(CdM) It's quite plausible that he's bonkers a priori.
His name, anagramatically, is We all sign on.
That reminds me of Bob Monkhouse on HIGNFY.
I am not sure about making amusing anagrams.
Are you concerned with the propriety of it?
My hair is now fifty shades of grey.
[pen] Hair dye makes it fifty shades darker.
Then why doesn't it work on my beard?
It is hair dye, it's not BEARD dye.
I am told that you can't dye beards.
No-one told Billy Connolly that. His was pink.
[pen] That's true, but what about his beard?
Are you challenging Phil as top filth merchant?
I do not want filth. Family phrases accepted.
Hidden textI am not sure about making awkward rhopalic.
I have no idea whence this reputation came.
Acrophil sounds like a top man to me.
Apologies, but when they pop up, I'm obliged.
November. Not a good month for eight words?
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, Aug-Oh.
I only know seven words, including these words.
[Phil] No wonder you keep losing at Scrabble.
I'm the one who always loses at Scrabble.
[pen] You might be having a bad spell.
Only seven words I know. These seven only.
At least there is a bit of variety.
Looks like six to me, Phil.
Seven! Including these seven, I know seven words!
But do you know what they mean, severally?
These seven words? Only I know, I know.
I only know I've been to the dentist.
I guess you know the drill by now.
Thankfully, I have learnt more words. Another six.
Are they in English, Welsh, Hungarian or Basque?
Two free lunches this week for me. Hurrah!
No free lunches for me though. Boo! Hiss!
[Rosie] Yes, they're English, Welsh, Hungarian or Basque.
Basque? Isn't that a piece of female underwear?
I thought it was a French lobster soup.
"Helleau. Je suis un Freynch lobsterrrre from Normandie!"
I thought it was the Spanish football coach.
Are you calling pen a charabanc? How ungentlemanly!
He's frighteningly accurate - I have so much seat!
Did CdM just play eight words, as requested?
When eight is appropriate, that's what I use. Usually.
Fashion experts say nine is the new eight.
That's just word game inflation. Resist it!
It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday.
Steady on, Phil, have you asked the wife?
Who do you take me for? Robinson Crusoe?
It's good to see the philth is undiminished.
We'll need another eight words - about Christmas - soon.
Oh how I hope my wages are in.
Merry Christmas to all in the Morniverse today.
Bah! Humbug! But mince pies are rather nice.
More cheese, vicar? Don't mind if I do!
I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas!
I shattered the peace with carols on trombone.
Tromboneronial carols sound fun. I ate too much.
I did not drink enough in my opinion.
I never drink enough at Christmas. Blasted family!
Drinking it and topping up bottles with water?
Awkward being the only drinker in the house.
I made a very alcoholic Christmas Pud sauce.
Was it just a glass of neat brandy?
More like half a bottle and some flour.
Why waste brandy by adding flour, I ask?
Otherwise it would just fall off the fork.
There was also sugar and butter. Tremendously nutritious.
Surely a spoon is the implement for puddingisationalists?
Softers might be going in with a straw!
Custard. That is all I have to say.
Which toothpaste for mains and which for dessert?
I hate most toothpaste. Stupid horrible minty vileness.
Toothpaste is a very good trombone slide lubricant.
Does it keep the trombone in mint condition?
That is one of the better trombone jokes.
Tits pecking at my nuts in the garden.
What has that got to do with trombones?
Trombone: a Swanee Whistle with delusions of grandeur.
Just-a one-a cornetto; one too many, I'd say.
Sorry, pen, didn't realize that trombones were compulsory.
Robot Men! Rob me not or entomb trombone.
The trombone makes a very good water pistol.
In any case I'm better at the piano.
Aiming a piano is harder than aiming trombones.
Seventy-six trombones. Hundred-and-ten cornets. I rest my case.
I thought there was just one cornet. Oh!
(Tuj) There is, as I said on Tuesday.
Good grief. My iPad works in the loo.
Not only that but you've acquired a capital.
I was enthroned at the time. Quite appropriate.
Yes, even Her Maj must have a crap. V good, BTW.
Anyone got owt interesting to say about February?
February : Rub Faery. Be a furry. Bear fury.
Best month: sort of has "brewery" in it.
Even better, it has my birthday in it.
You still won't be as old as me.
What happened to that Twix I just bought?
I had traffic jam at breakfast this morning.
Strawberry, apricot, and gooseberry, layered in the jar.
I find "pen's Twix" very difficult to enunciate.
What a murky February day. Not much fun.
Yes, it is even trying to snow here.
New Year's Resolution not to drink remains intact.
You must be extremely dehydrated. Saves weeing, though.
I'll watch the windy miller teach weather tonight.
I spent most of today doing the ironing.
Yesterday, I watched "O Brother, Where Art Thou?"
Yesterday I painted walls and ceiling - 2 coats
Two coats? Turn the heating up a bit.
Dutch reflexive verbs in the 'past perfectum' - aaaargh.
I shall counter that with - "Welsh prepositional mutations".
It's either too many or too few vowels.
Ancient Greek: Aorist tense. Middle voice. Such fun!
(pen) Actually it's all to do with consonants.
Have just eaten proper, tangy, British cheddar. Delish.
How can cheese be like a mathematical operator?
I don't know. How can it, Rosie? (joke?)
Hello folks, I still exist. That's all really.
Del is a mathematical operator, among other things.
"Number please?" Is that what you allude to?
Even the cheese is holey like a zero.
Will this holey cheese freeze at zero degrees?
Zero is just an eight in a belt.
Haven't you got that precisely arse about face?
Finally have spring weather, which means April showers.
It seems our spring skipped the year again.
I have discovered the delights of lunchtime hiking.
I have discovered the delights of lunchtime lunching.
I have discovered lunches with some delightful hikers.
I have delighted some hikers with lunchtime discoveries.
I've lunched on hikers and discovered they're delightful.
My local café has hiked its delightful lunches.
Anyone got eight lovely words for May? Anyone?
My aunt's middle name was May. Florence May.
Berry, blossom, bug, day, fair, flower, fly, pole
"May the force be with you." Too geeky?
May the Tenth... for lisping campers. (Stolen joke)
Friday post. Three-day Whitsun weekend for cloggies. Hoera!
There was a hoopoe in my garden yesterday
I can't beat that. Saw cranes yesterday though.
Red kites for me yesterday. Yet again. Boring!
Saw peregrines at Lincoln Cathedral today, via webcam.
Today I handed in my notice at work
[NJ] Congratulations!
[INJ] Bold step. What's next, young man? (Apart from making up for other's shortfalls)
[Pen] 'Young man'!? - I'm taking (slightly) early retirement.
Needed eight words. 'Sir', too formal. 'Old', rude.
Hoopoe confirmed as 35th ever sighting in Derbyshire
35th ever bird in Derbyshire? That many? Really?
What exactly constitutes an individual sighting? Serious question.
Oh, come on, you never ask serious questions. :-)
[CdM] Too complex for here - see banter page.
[CdM] So serious it warranted precisely eight words!
I'll use eight words if the occasion demands. If.
Eight words is easy for others. Not you?
I bet CdM thinks he's really cool.
What're the most famous eight words in history?
We will fight them on the beaches. Yeah.
Were you a mod or a rocker, pen?
"To be or not to be? That is"
Body: woman (meek, feeble); stomach: man (hairy, beer)
Four score and seven years ago our forefathers
Let them eat cake, cake, and more cake.
In the beginning were the Words. Eight Words.
The moment one learns English, complications set in.
Please don't say that to a foreign doctor.
Much have I travelled in the realms of gold
He would say that, wouldn't he, your honour?
Mandy Rice-Davies is not quite your type, pen.
Legitimate travelling, or just Bermuda tax domiciling days?
Monday... Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Then... Saturday, Sunday!
Sometimes the weekend should last all week long.
Like each move here's eight words - Eight Days!
OK, done Friday morning. Next: attack Friday afternoon!
Miles and miles and miles of boxes. Help.
Shall I add yet another mile of boxes?
You need some ribbons and bows for them.
Please, God, no. I can't find anything anymore.
Situation critical. Citronella candle keeps going out. Mozzieeessssssss...
Are the mozzies weeing on it or sunnink?
Kamikazi mozzies dive-bombing the guttering flame..... what larks!
I wonder what proportion survive this suicidal megathermality.
Is anyone else watching the tennis? No? OK.
Well actually, I was. I watch much sport.
The people here are turning themselves inside out.
Inside out and falling through ceilings? Sounds dangerous!
What can I say? My workplace is exciting.
Catnip oil keeps mozzies away from your skin.
Isn't catnip oil a Potion of Summoning Felines?
Let's treat this game to some July posts.
Bright sunshine plus "dress down Friday" equals shorts :)
The heat makes me feel like I'm melting.
Here, casual Friday usually means wearing no tie.
Can you get away with wearing no pants?
Ask me again on Friday evening, we'll see.
Do Brits still use "trousers," rather than "pants?"
Yes. And we're always 'Britons', not Brits. Ithengyew.
Many of us use both. Trousers over pants.
Actually, some of us are Brits. But don't tell pen.
Pants are more often undergarments for both sexes.
According to the OED, it's a young herring.
And Brit meaning 'Briton' is third definition down
Reminds me of NOTW and The Sun so...
never use it about myself. Awful ugly abbreviation!
Britons were displaced by Anglo-Saxons. How about Britisher?
[Phil - Bless you!] My shiny new grand-daughter sneezed fifteen times yesterday.
[Chalks] That's almost a whole years-worth in one go.
My shiny new grand-daughter is in New Zealand.
[Software] That's about as far as possible from Jersey.
Six drafts. Now number seven gets underway.
6 drafts? You'r quite a boozer, aren't you?
There's no-one that can drink like our Pen.
If only it was as nice as beer.
Beer absorbed rapidly tonight thanks to prior dehydration.
I am guessing you don't need a humidifier.
A toilet might be a good thing though.
Let's treat this game to some August posts.
Eheu fugaces labuntur anni! Is that august enough?
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose
I Fort Augustus was a town in Scotland.
Another day. Another eight words. C'est la vie.
Wedding anniversary tomorrow. Must remember to visit shop.
Why not try a restaurant? Far more congenial.
Dinner, washing-up, then out for coffee and dessert.
That strange foreign custom - going out for afters
Because it's so expensive to eat out here!
[pen] My french relations do pud and coffee out
Makes sense. Low-fat, low-cal firsts, sweet indulgent afters!
Who's going to give the next eight words?
I solemnly predict that it will be Rosie.
Right. But then immediately wrong again. Tough luck.
One simply cannot win against this fiendish wench.
More predictions: how many words in CdM's next?
And when the next comment about infrequent commenting?
No-one knows all the answers. How can they?
They simply bribe the examiners with propelling pencils.
Oh Wednesday, Thursday Friday, hurry the fuck up.
So, shagging only at the weekend, is it?
No, dear Rosie. I'm sick of being office-bound!
Better than being egg bound one might suppose.
Monday morning office-bound after a weekend outdoors. Ugh.
Life has a predictable cyclic quality, eh, pen?
Certainly does. But no cake today. Cycle fail. :o(
Cake today, I've been promised. My favourite word.
Cake is nice but I prefer the cheeseboard.
Had a nice Ardennais cheeseboard last weekend. Tasty.
You will never make a convincing xylophage, pen.
And you are getting better at pedantry, Rosie! :oP
I think pedantry is a bit cheesy, frankly.
I don't have eight words to spare today.
Neither do I. What a very spooky coincidence.
I've got plenty but I'm a stingy bugger.
Garden centre has Christmas grotto open. Bah humbug.
I'm full of fish, chips and walnut whips.
Fish have scales, therefore a well balanced diet.
Maps have scales and therefore play the piano.
Logic dictates that maps show rights of weigh.
But do they show the rights of Kurds?
Back to England on Thursday. Overnight ferry again.
You do spend lots of time on ferries.
Concerts, birthdays, etc. And it keeps me sane.
Today is my birthday, anniversary of my birth.
The North Sea is not all bad, pen.
Back on t'other side of t'North Sea. Raining.
Is it time to call this a day?
Perhaps, But what would would fill the slot?
This in itself is a source of discussion.
Perhaps something with a different number of words?
Any other integer would feel... not quite right.
Perhaps it should not be an integer then.
I'm afraid there's really no answer to that.
"I'm" and "there's" : one point five words each?
Maybe we should play the game in hexadecimal.
Yes, let's. I would only be forty-seven.
And I've got two years till I'm thirty!
Phil, why is your nose growing so long?
Noses run in our family, I've been told.
You should all try and be more phlegmatic.
My finals are over for the semester. Hooray!
My husband is doing housework. I am redundant.
Maybe you could go and take his job.
I'm on a cross-channel ferry. *waves waves waves*
Merry Christmas to all. I repeat, Merry Christmas!
Maxed out iMac. My Christmas present to me.
From me to me: Trinidad and Tobago Rum.
Windy miller got me an iPhone. Big surprise.
A giant purple rhinoceros occupies my living room.
[KS] Is it still there? Are you coping?
It rode home with me on my trike.
It must be on tricyclics then. Bad news.
Well, the New Year is here, same crap.
Yes, my bowel movements continue to be satisfactory.
Said rhinoceros has not moved. I'm okay, though.
Well, that's good news. What are you on?
Planet Earth, as far as I can tell.
My word, what a cold morning it is.
Still a bit light - and 17.22! No, 17.23!
No such luck for us here on GMT.
By Valentine's Day it's still light at 5pm.
That's at yours, not at mine. We're later.
It gets dark at 6pm here right now.
Where's 'here'? Further south than here, I'll wager.
Where's 'here'? Further north than here, I'll wager.
Hidden text51.3186 N
Correct. I'm at 51.9308°N-4.4792°E and four floors up.
I'm between you. 51.516094N, -1.2460551E, on first floor.
Four floors up, pen? Just about sea-level then.
(Phil) The OS places that in a field.
[Rosie] Not on my map it doesn't, matey.
[Phil] I think it does with pen's coordinates.
(Phil) My OS co-ordinate converter is out of date.
[Rosie] 3.069km, bearing 95°21′18″ from work to home
(Phil) Parsonage Green, then? That looks quite nice.
51.31905N, -0.06190E. Points to right house, wrong address.
Hmmmmm, my directions weren't quite accurate enough apparently.
(Phil) Aldworth, then. An error on my part.
Weekend! Rain now, clearing later, I've been promised.
[Rosie] Correct. Great pub. No mobile phone signal.
I have used a lot of goes recently.
(pen) An infinite source, like that of rain.
[Rosie] I'm beginning to believe that you're right.
I appear to have absolutely nothing to add.
Take it way, Phil, or perhaps multiply it.
Now? I was waiting for the division bell.
I've spilt tea down my shirt already today.
Another fence panel down. It can stay down.
Has it got back up again yet, Rosie?
I asked it nicely and up it leapt.
Would that everything rose so readily these days.
With the exception of ground water, of course. not a sentence....
Not a sentence, but a grammatically correct retort.
Now we are in March; how time flies.
Now we are in March there is frost.
What's for dinner tonight? I have no idea.
I'll be having fish from Barton-on-Humber.
I had fish from Ikea. Flat packed flatfish.
A screwdriver rather than a knife and fork?
FOG! What say you about the fog, Rosie?
Fog here stops planes, newspapers and the mail.
The Clean Air Act (1956) has ruined fogs.
Back in the mists of time. Remember then?
The last move was a week ago. Blimey.
Since then I've been to England and back.
I've been to Oxfordshire and back many times.
Isn't Oxfordshire at the bottom of your garden?
A little further. Two miles down the lane.
It's cruel that Berkshire is now so truncated.
True, "Berks" is ugly; it needs its "shire".
I'm definitely in the "shire" part. Hobbits ahoy!
Lost most of itself to Oxfordshire, I meant.
Just the Vale of the White Horse, really.
I used to live in Wiltshire, next county.
So did I. In 1997-1998. Happy days. *sigh*
I'm still in Wiltshire. Sometimes, however, I move.
Some of my children are true Moonrakers, consequently.
I've eaten my own weight in strawberries today.
Is that a, er, very large quantity, pen?
Several acre's worth, so you could say so.
It is my daughter's and son's birthday today.
Twins? Or by coincidence exactly N years apart?
The latter. A bone of contention ever more.
I have nothing useful to say right now.
At least you prevented another boring monologue, Phil.
Easter is nearly upon us. Lovely chocolate eggs.
Mmm! yes, but school hall closed- no Band.
"Four days off" makes me a happy bunny
'Five days off in England' - I'm happier still.
My four will be in England too, pen.
Rosie and I have every day off - retired!
Easter Sunday may well have some shitty weather.
I might mow the cricket pitch on Saturday.
Good Friday. So much to do. More tea.
Still waiting for a call back. Freaking out.
They emailed instead, and the news was good. =)
Farmer is mowing cricket pitch. Four hours saved!
I bet Phil's ruddy grass has grown again.
I noted such growth with disappointment last evening.
We don't have lawn. I dust the gravel.
I never water the grass - makes it grow.
Juxtapose - nice :) My garden has a wooden floor.
Ten days' growth. Still not mowed the lawn.
[Phil] About time you had a shave though.
Well, another Bank Holiday but not for penelope.
Ah, we had Liberation Day instead. Day off.
Is it Libation Day for the boozy Dutch?
Are the Dutch bigger tipplers than other Europeans?
Traditionally, it is what gives them Dutch Courage.
The moon has risen above the trees yonder.
Nice. I watched stars and bats last night.
Stars and Bats? Is that a reality show?
Hot. 25 in the grounds of Plas Huws.
Truck fire in motorway tunnel on route home.
Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger
Got stuck behind tractor. Eight minute commute today.
It took me two hours to drive home.
Last night, only took 1 hour 10 mins
Driving to work this morning: 25 mins. Gutted.
Six minutes almost every day. Including this one.
What is this "work" of which everyone speaks?
I have this thing that is called "school."
I have this horrible thing called 'being workshy'
Another eight words for Friday? Can't be bothered.
First and last day at work this week.
I have started a new game at MCiOS
It's work themed, lest that seem a non-sequitur.
Catching the Blighty-bound ferry tomorrow evening, hurrah hurrah!
Let us all tap our barometers and smile.
Can we still do the tapping smile, Rosie?
Alas no. Tapped mine and broke the glass.
Hidden textLiterally so. There must have been some stress or crack in it before.
I meant metaphorically. I'm all weekend in Zeeland.
Come on England. Three more wickets this afternoon.
England fail - football, rugby, cricket bloody useless, bah!
Why waste time watching? Get outside! Summer!
Get inside! Rain! Bring the washing in quick!
I'm a year older than a week ago.
A year in a week! That's time-lapse, pen. Appy burfdy.
Little pleasure in eight words: beer and crisps.
I mean 'small pleasure'. That meant the opposite.
Beer and crisps, beer and crisps. Beer. Crisps.
I think I'm really ready for a holiday.
Playing cricket on a Tuesday afternoon, in sunshine.
[Phil] Do you still have a job? Nights?
[pen] Yes I do. It's rather flexible though.
Are we running out of eight words? Sad.
Novel octets are
Extraordinarily
Hard to keep going.
I disagree, sir; I find them quite easy.
Blimey! Is this still going. I am amazed.
I've finished making my telescope, the Mk II.
Can you see the pub from there, Rosie?
I'm afraid light travels in boringly straight lines.
Put a black hole near the pub then.
I want to get home again, you know.
Shit or get off the pot. Any more?
Or shall we call it a day now?
That's most unladylike - did you mean the po?
Feminism.
Is that a typo (or 'typot') Rosie?
Kids sit on the pot, adults the po.
There's a fabulous shaggy-dog story about a pisspot.
Unfortunately there are only eight words available, pen.
It starts with a down-at-heel adder, I remember.
Who starts to do much better in life
It sounds like the cue for a limerick
Hang on, you don't know how it ends.
And one of the adder's longstanding friends boasts
that he's known him for a long time.
More details in the next exciting instalment, folks!
Loth as I am to interrupt the flow . . . . .
Go on... and I really hope it's important
Of course it isn't - please carry on, pen.
He knew him from his days of penury
This is an extremely shaggy dog. Enough yet?
Shaggy enough to make a big woolly jumper?
It's not an adder, it's a boa subtractor.
Did that spring to mind at night, Rosie?
For me it was late evening, I confess.
Anyhow, the done-good snake's reminiscing friend evenutally says:
Fun fact- I'm writing this from my PlayStation.
Go on, pen. I'm agog, despite the hour.
"Oh yes, I've known him for so long...."
"I knew him when (this may surprise you)..."
:He didn't have a pit to hiss in."
Tonite (sic) I am going to a jazz gig.
I've written eight words for your reading pleasure!
[Rosie] Well then, eight word gig review, please!
There's a wasp in my office. In November!
Saw two butterflies in my garden only yesterday.
Another unquestionable sign of the impending end times?
(Tuj, belatedly) The New Delta Band played their arses off.
The first eight words of the New Year.
At this slow rate, we'll have summer soon.
Fair old stretch on the evenings this week.
It will soon be my birthday, so there.
They say it'll snow but I've had none.
Me neither but it is brass monkeys outside.
The brass monkeys are queuing to get in!
Signs of spring. You can list them here.
Magpie carrying twigs this morning, from kitchen window
Why do you keep twigs on your window?
For making twiglets. Doesn't everyone have twigs handy?
I used to, but they were pretzel twigs.
I didn't try Marmite until I was 19.
Ma might have been looking after your health.
I hope Mamma laid on alternative spreads instead.
Jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam!
Low fat cream cheese, the sweet chilli flavour.
On bread, I mostly like marmalade and honey.
You and I are as one on that.
Jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam...
I gather you have just left the M25.
Jam, jam, jam, jam, jam! I've grown accustomed....
Amazing things can emerge from extensive jam sessions.
This game seems to have been largely forgotten.
But eight words can bring it to life.
If only we could work out which eight.
I wonder if it is one of these?
OED random word generator suggestions: implex, quickhatch, profligation.
If only I knew what these words meant.
The second is uttered while impatiently awaiting chicks.
The first's the building where Santa's team works.
The last is someone who gives bondage classes.
Should we find another list of random words?
Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.
Random? It seems the monkeys have typed Shakespeare. Er, sorry Raak, old chap.
OED random word generator II: topsoil moellon toughly
Great name for Public House: Pug Pup Pub.
Or how about this one: The Starving Starling?
Expanding on Raak's: 'Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas'
I seem to have stalled three games. Sorry.
Nail gnats, Aesop, or pay apropos East Anglian.
Hidden textCould we make a game out of this?
Big gnat? Small ogre? "Ergo Tango, gnat ogre!"
Hmmm. Re: bum sag - Rosie is "orgasm über"
Known. Ten animals I slam in a net.
Time for another seven words, I suppose.
I can handle posting eight, so can you.
It's taken ages to find the right eight.
I have just found another eight lying around.
Here's three more.
I must find five to make it right.
Ha! Chance would be a fine thing, Phil.
Je suis en le France avec mes amis.
J'ai parlez Francais com un vache Espanol, Oui.
'Dwi'n siarad Cymraeg fel Saeson, mae'n ddrwg geni.
Three words saying it's Thursday? Friday minus one.
Weekend minus two? Monday morning minus four? Yuk!
One, two, miss a few, ninety-nine, one-hundred! Coming!
We must get over this obsession with numbers.
I agree. Let's make it Greek letters instead.
My favourites are zeta, xi, theta and psi.
And I thought you were an alpha male.
Funnily enough, that'th what Catherine Theta Joneth thaid.
Is it lunchtime yet? Did someone mention pie?
Have you got permission to eta pi, pen?
Permission? It's more like Pie et mon droit.
Pun time? If you can't beta them, join them.
One man's meta is another man's poison. Aye.
One man's meat is another man's poisson. Oui.
One man's meat is another man's possum. Beaut!
One man's meat is another man's posaune. Ja!
Hidden textTrombones taste awful, actually.
Have you tried eating troms off the bone?
And chase it down with sacks of phones.
I've just booked a two-night break in Ipswich.
What do you plan to break there, pen?
The monotony and effort of working life, Softers.
Working life? Ah, yes. I can remember that.
Only another 17 years to go until retirement.
The first eight words in October? Really? Blimey.
Some of us are more active than others.
Is there a game for the naturally reticent?
Hidden textDon't answer, obviously.
It's would be the 'No Moves Necessary' game.
I'm busy with other things these days, alas.
Are you grandfathering a new generations of Crescenters?
Grandfathering is easy. I've seven at last count.
Yes, penelope. He's due to be born tomorrow.
Oh my word... back to the future, Grandad!
It's bleddy dark, innit folks? Not very keen.
Oh, there goes "No-Move-Ember". No-one tell you, pen?
[Tuj] I've got the golden ticket. You lose.
A small bonfire planned for tonight. Just because.
Do the clogs understand the Guy Fawkes fascination?
Nope. Most of them don't know about it..
Wingtips, loafers, and trainers, however, love it dearly!
Not to mention winkle-pickers, brothel-creepers, espadrilles and Jesus-boots!
That is quite a substantial list of footwear.
I can only wear one pair at once.
Why wear a pair, my dear old thing?
An odd pair makes me limp, old bean.
That's strange; it's alcohol that makes me limp.
Take the bottle out of your shoe, numpty.
I think limp was intended as an adjective.
Limp can be a noun, verb or adjective!
Whereas a limpet can only be a noun.
Meaning a small wet limp, isn't that so?
Nobody is playing AVMA. Have I upset them?
Happy New Year. Here Are Five More Words.
Ah, so you are still alive over there, Giertrud.
Anyone else alive? I'm suffering death by chocolate.
I'm alive, and undergoing death by condensed milk.
I'm alive and recovering from jet lag, slowly.
I overslept this morning. Got away with it.
Sirius was very bright over Thornton Heath tonight.
Stars over North Wessex Downs were stunning too.
And over Heijningen, but it was bloody nippy.
Surely the stars are indifferent to their audience.
Maybe so - but they look very different tonight.
Why is that? Have you been ingesting substances?
Rosie, yes, I am still alive--sometimes kicking!
Minus six at home this morning. Very invigorating.
You're made of tougher stuff, pen, warmer here.
I have single malt on my Weetabix, Softers.
What? And the sun not over the yardarm?
I think the sun has actually gone out.
Rainy Sunday. Bacon and egg sandwiches. That's all.
The Met Office are now naming Atlantic storms.
I'm naming my bad moods. This one's Aelfsige.
Rain, rain, rain. When will it ever stop?
I'm now part-owner of a 70-year old tractor.
Anything 70 years old should be scrapped forthwith.
My mother might rightly put up a fight.
They don't make them like that any more.
No, they're all diesels (diseasels, colloquially) these days.
Is it spring yet? Is it spring yet?
BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING!
Starts 1st March, pen. We shall have snow.
How prescient, Rosie. We had snow this morning.
Chicken, fish, four sides ... am so full now.
I must not indulge; I am already overweight.
But I can cook some really good food.
Oh yes, she can. I second that emotion.
I do not have my work head today.
Another Monday morning post, a month later. Pfft.
Woo, Wednesday afternoon, woo! ...woo, woo... woo... Twit.
This looks like the end for one of
the slowest games on record in the Morniverse.
Some things are really worth waiting for. Sometimes.
I think that I see what you mean.
I've got a mate who uses up-speak? Sad.
Imagine sometimes being age bracketed with millenials. Terrifying.
Less chance if you cultivate your grey hairs.
My cat was a millennial, born about 1990.
My millennial falcon was stolen by George Lucas.
Freddie Starr ate my hamster. No, wait, ummm...
It's Summer! It was Winter a moment ago.
(Raak) That's a pretty good definition of Spring.
True English people, nostalgically talking about the weather.
Nostaligic? It's happening right now! There's no waiting!
Spring again. Looks like Summer, feels like Winter.
Shurely not with the Cup Final coming up?
Summer starts on Mid-summers day. Finishes shortly afterwards.
I hope Mourinho cocks up at Man U.
I never wish ill on anyone. Except Trump.
One no trump, doubled, redoubled, went three down.
*waves tiredly from under a pile of marking*
We have had rather a good thunderstorm today.
And another one today (sic) and tomorrow's Thor's Day.
Glad to be of service, don't you know.
Too much pizza. Too much cake. Now sleepy.
Hummmph! European cup boredom has set in already.
Being of the Cambrian persuasion I profoundly disagree.
I didn't leave the house the whole weekend.
Too much pizza. Too much cake. Again? Yes!
Ooooh cake! I need coffee and walnut. NOW!
In fact, I think that's tonight's project. Yummy.
Don't leave that cake out in the rain.
I fear that this sentence will non sequitur.
Did anyone get solsticed overnight or this morning??
Is it Summer? Dense rain is hiding everything.
Well, that's it, the days are drawing in.
Thank goodness. Short nights are short of sleep.
When nights grow longer the heat grows stronger.
Longer days give more time to do things.
Finally out of hospital after hit-and-run...
Hidden textor if hit-and-run is one word: Finally out of hospital after hit-and-run got me.
There's a story behind that, mark my words.
I hope you are well and fully reassembled, Giertrud.
Well, that hot spell did not last long.
Was hot here yesterday - bought a new hammock.
Still sweltering in mad dogs and Englishmen weather.
I'm on hols. Forecast: three days' persistent rain.
Well, it is raining here if that counts.
Nineteen millimetres of rain have ruined my drought.
More rain in August than in July, already.
[Rosie] So sorry about your ruined drought. *snigger*
Radio Four long wave, Test Match Special, civilisation.
American niece arrived safely. Sent her to Amsterdam.
Why you sen' 'er Amsterdam? Wa' she done?
She wanted to see. Ate pancakes, drank beer.
Next week's over-hyped heatwave has been toned down.
I wish someone would tell the mosquitos. Ouch.
There's a full moon Thursday night. Take care.
I suggest you put your trousers back on.
Nobody will see anything - it will be cloudy.
Weather report Jersey: It is quite windy today.
Is your Jersey windproof? Mine has knitted holes.
Next Wednesday looks very hot (at the moment).
It was here, at any rate, old chum.
It was quite sweaty this Wednesday, 27 degrees.
Sweatier here, 29 degrees by all accounts.
We had 31 yesterday. I'm buying discounted sweaters.
28 here, which means I am a sweater.
Somewhat cooler today and windy too, by jingo.
Another 30 degrees today. Thunderstorms tomorrow, I hope.
3 Degrees now. Next up is The Supremes.
My baby love went completely pear-shaped, alas.
Eight words is insufficient for Morningtonesque prolixity, obviously.
People can look stupid in just in eight words.
Eight? Two!
Behold, the full moon beams down at us.
Is it now a waxing or waning sliver?
Silver should be scrubbed with Silvo, not waxed.
Wax would make the Lone Ranger slide off.
The clocks went back! The clocks went back!
What did they find when they got back?
[Rosie] They found there was no time left.
Poor clocks! Let's hear it for the Luddites.
Apparently Donald Trump's clock has two little hands.
We're out of time on that one. Next!
Critical mass of stupidity attained, implosion countdown started.
Where's the bloody Kryptonite when you need it?
Kryptonite? What I need is a crap tonight.
[Rosie] Just had eight days of the other.
I find a crossword helps. Number two down.
Italians no problem. Milan is on the Po.
I have been barred from my local. Hooray!
Is that because of your outspokenness then, Rosie?
That's one way to save money over Christmas.
(Softers) They cannot stand even mild web criticism.
(pen) Nah! There are plenty more agreeable places.
So you're looking for a 'yes' pub? Cheers!
(pen) Not difficult. A splendid one in Croydon.
It's bleddy dark, innit? When's the solstice then?
(pen) Wednesday at 10.44 UT. Gloom, glorious gloom.
Horrah! That means it will soon be Summer!
The sooner Summer comes, the sooner Winter follows.
Raak, that is really a very depressing truism.
The sooner Winter comes, the sooner Summer follows!
Which comes first - the winter or the summer?
Storm Barbara hits as we go to sea.
Ploughing the waves is a desperately wet affair.
And the furrows don't stay where they're ploughed.
I'm adding a comment here for no reason.
That statement defies its own logic, doesn't it?
I'm adding a currant here for no raisins.
Happy New Year!
And the same to you.
My keyboard is all smeared with coconut oil.
Not being naughty in the office, are we?
The painful truth; seasonal excema, defies cortisone cream. :o(
I have some coconut oil -- must try it.
Is it any good for trombone slide lubrication?
I find it stops my coconuts from chaffing.
[Rosie] You'll be playing all the Copacobana tunes.
I can only play The Girl From Ipanema.
But not The Boy From New York City?
I can do this screamer at half pace.
[Rosie] Go on then. Don't blow a gasket!
A nine millimetre snowdrift appeared outside my house. ?
Please keep me away from the news today.
pen, I've become a newsphobe since May's promotion.
(pen) Got any gaskets, then? There are limits.
I'm going back to bed and staying there.
Is this a form of hibernation, then, Superman?
Yes, it's the next step in human evolution.
My mouth has evolved into a cereal port.
How long can we possibly avoid the inevitable?
For as long as your toothache is bearable.
For as long as I still have teeth.
I haven't eaten cereal in about 6 months =(
Alas for [Tuj], the bears steal his porridge!
My local supermarkets have stopped selling Weetabix. Brexit!
Brexit? Well, f***s it up if nothing else.
Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday yay!
My opinion doesn't count. Probably best that way.
My opinion doesn't count. Probably best that way.
Friday pizza cake Friday pizza cake double yay!
Sunday afternoon. Wasted most of it asleep. Bugger.
Monday morning sunshine! Stuck in the office. Bugger.
Monday morning rain. Snug in the office. Smug.
Monday morning, retired, lazing at home, even smugger.
Aching shoulders, arms. But in a good way.
[Raak] Have you been lifting pretty ballerinas again?
[pen] Just beating on drums the whole day.
What goes with fried onions? A friend asks.
Liver. Sausages. Bacon. Black pudding. More fried onions.
Steak, hot dogs, more hot dogs. Damn. Hungry.
Your appetite appears insatiable, pen. Is this good?
[Rosie] Absolutely not. I'm a fat bloater, curses.
Never thought of you as a fish, pen.
The pen fish is mightier than the swordfish.
Nobody has made a comment for two weeks.
Except you. You broke the radio silence, Softers.
If we're very quiet, that might mend it.
Such an approach requires elimination of the flatulent.
pen, did I transgress in some obscure way?
Incoming! This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
[Bismarck] Your message may have a faulty fuse.
Don't touch it! It might still go off!
My wholemeal rolls have gone off, but quietly.
Longer life wholemeal. Kept cryogenically frozen, for ever.
They're not "off", they have a freshness difference.
I wouldn't try that approach with chicken nuggets.
Nor mussels, definitely not with mussels, oh, no.
My home-made chicken liver pate was off immediately.
And so was I. Anyone need a purge?
After Brexit, all communications will be reduced by
The early worm is caught by the bird.
Birds are sharp; especially their pointy little beaks.
The dawn chorus is in E flat major.
I didn't know the dickybirds played alto sax.
The birds outside my window play fowl music.
Ta-dum, ta-dum, ta-tee and I've forgotten the rest.
Not just the rest but the key change.
I'm not changing keys. Mine still open doors.
They won't open my back door - it's stuck.
Have you tried some sort of greasy lubricant?
Rosie, you didn't glue the front door, too?
(pen) It sags. Cheap 'n' nasty from B&Q (one word).
France apparently voted for a macaroon as president.
[Bismarck] Preferable to a biro that works underwater.
Brexit friends coming for the weekend. Shit fuck.
That's the "entertainment" you're putting on, pen?
The Eurovision Song Contest has been and gone.
Has it? I did not really notice it.
It's been chucking it down here all day.
Muggy but dry here. It was 30c yesterday.
Oh the joy of the decaffeinated vole dance!
The caffeine content of voles is quite remarkable.
Makes them jump over composers. Vole Over Beethoven!
*fixes a vole where the rain gets in*
Italian voles can fly, caffeinated or otherwise. Volare!.
Fixing a vole? Isn't that by The Beatles?
Revolver is by the Beatles. I remember it.
Volvic. Ideal for voles with a blocked nose.
Volvo. Ideal for transporting large numbers of rodents.
Evolution, or the development of Vole mark 2.
Voluntary. To ask the vole to hurry up.
Alcovolism, a terrible trend among the gnawing youth.
Voles never need to wear spectacles — nolens volens.
Is it the weekend yet? How much longer?
A couple of days need to go by.
I wonder if voles look forward to weekends?
Most voles support Sunderland, so I doubt it.
The vole weekend runs from November to March.
This proves that voles are of Australian origin.
Hot. Rug under shady tree, watermelon. No voles.
Hot rug. Under shadytree? Water me lonno voles.
Watermelons can swing like mad. Just get this.
So do cement mixers; a favourite of Pater's.
Compared with that, my playing is crap, alas.
My playing is like a cement mixer's, alas.
I can play the cement mixer - musique concrete.
He who pays the builder, calls the tune.
Music for plumbers. Sounds ideal for tap dancing.
There was once a group called The Scaffold.
Didn't they hymn the virtues of capital punishment?
You want to get ahead? Get a guillotine.
Are pesky seabirds annoying you? Get a gullotine.
Is the guillemot a seabird which headed off?
Guillotine motion in the Commons: A good idea!
Whose head shall roll? Such a wonderful choice.
Head rolls? I prefer bacon butties, sans ketchup.
You are teasing my taste buds now, pen.
Friday. FRIDAY! Do you know what that means?
Your devices are buggered, yesterday being THOR's day,
But today is Wednesday, and it's nearly lunch.
...Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack; Thursday never looking back...
Your British Friday comes before our American Friday.
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord