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Each Move Must Consist Of Precisely Eight Words
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Just as it says on the tin. What happens in the game may be debated in the game: perhaps it'll be a conversation, perhaps a word-limited reprise of various games we play, or whatever.
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Indeed, I hate flatulence in general. Most unsociable.
Could flatus replace fossil fuels if efficiently collected?
Certainly. And the plentiful bovine variety is odourless.
Putting cows in gasometers would be rather cruel.
What about a tube up the bum, then?
You'd never fit a cow into one of those!
(Oops. Nine words. Here's seven to compensate.)
Two wrongs do not necessarily make a right.
Shurely two negatives make a positive, if multiplied.
Two rites do not quite make a ceremony.
Two ceremonies ddon't necessarily make it right either.
Two "right" angles make a very straight line.
It's as easy as pi to say that.
Hear about the yokel mathematician? Married his cosin.
Noah used yacht varnish to get an arctan.
This conversation is a Sine of the times.
I think we need to take another angle.
Does a right angle boil at ninety degrees?
It does indeed. And removes all beetroot stains.
Methyl formate boils at approximately ninety degrees Fahrenheit.
Just back from Lisbon; ninety degrees there too.
It was ninety degrees here late last week.
I'm sure that statement is true, but WTFRU?
Somewhere where it's ninety degrees, obviously, Rosie. Duh!
It was only in the 70's today Rosie.
But enough of the weather, in sports today...
Wicket dot rain dot wicket wicket dot rain
Rain. There has been plenty of it lately.
That's not the most controversial comment I've seen.
Point of contention! Not in the Atacama desert.
The Atacama Desert is not entirely without rain.
We are not greedy take our spare rain.
Spare rain comes with a degree of humidity.
Can you get an honours degree in humidity?
Yes, but it needs less inspiration than perspiration.
No chance to perspire in this rainy weather!
Horses sweat, gentlemen perspire but ladies merely glow.
Horses sweat because "only fools and horses work".
Shurely working horses would sweat, whoever else works.
Would anti-persperant for horses work do you think?
It would die of hyperthermia. Humane, at least.
Horse sweat is an ingredient in school dinners.
In 1948 it was about the only ingredient.
In the 1970's we had "Mystery Meat", scary!!!
Can't comment. I never ate school dinners myself.
Anyway, why are they called dinners at lunchtime?
Breakfast, dinner, tea and supper. No second breakfast.
No. It's breakfast, elevenses, lunch, tea, dinner, supper.
Such regimes are the reason we're all overweight.
I prefer to say a bit chubby, myself.
Try Intermittent Fasting: eat nothing every other day.
That would play havoc with your bowel movements.
Show me a motion, tra la la la-la...
"This House strongly approves of all lavatorial humour".
Flushed with pride, round the bend with happiness.
Toilet thieves leave me nothing to go on.
Nessun Dorma, for Milan is on the Po.
Irish invented toilet, English put hole in middle.
Thank goodness for the hole. And the leak.
Other news. Job won. Moving soon. Ahoy Grantham!
One other thing. Anyone got any spare boxes?
[pen] You could try asking at wine shops.
(pen) Three in two minutes. See a doctor.
[pen] Congratulations. Grantham? Hope Thatcher not still there.
Thatcher gone? That means the roofs are leaking.
Or fewer fouls by Manchester City. About time.
We have a thatcher snatcher in the house!!!
New Balls. On the theme of Autumn, anyone?
[pen] Is that referring to your sex life?
Good Lord no. A seasonal reference, you noodle.
Autumn, I think, is the warm dark season.
"Wohl ist der Herbst ein Ehrenmann" - Johann Voß
Not all of us can speak German Knobbly.
It means "Surely is Autumn a man of honour"
Babelfish: "Probably the autumn is an honour man."
Sounds like an advert for Carlsburg to me.
Carlsburg, probably the best advert in the world.
Actually, it's spelt "Carlsberg", as in "Saccharomyces Carlbergensis".
Drat, I mistyped "Carlsbergensis". Silly me! How ironic.
An egregious error. The place is in ferment.
Ferment? I just found some mouldy leather gloves.
(pen) You could become the new Charlie Dimmock.
Calm down, Rosie. Remember what the doctor said.
What if he'd said I'd got memory loss?
Best to forget about your memory loss, Rosie.
Just remind me, what are we doing here?
[Pen] Trying to avoid discussing your sex life?
Do people in the Morniverse actually have sex?
Believe me Rosie, I do it anywhere but here
I should announce an Official Change of Subject
Only after you apologise for your extra word.
And for the indiscriminating nature of your libido.
Sorry. And I'll be more picky next time.
It won't get better if you pick it.
Isn't that what trade unnionists are always told?
Arthur Scargill would want some Flying Pickets instead.
Surely the Flying Pickets were a pop group.
Yes they were and don't call me "Surely".
Isn't that 'Don't call me Shirley', surely, moroni?
Should be Shirley but said Surely by mishtake.
I've never heard of the flying Shirleys, anyway.
Their jokes would probably go over your head
That depends upon how tall your body is.
My body? Starts at neck, finishes at legs.
Here is today's eight-word offering for your perusal.
I never really wanted to be an engine-driver.
Does that mean what you lack is "inginuity"?
I shall treat that remark with complete ignoral. © George Brown, ca. 1968.
I have fourteen daddy longlegs in my house today
One of them gave you an extra word.
Americans use "daddy longlegs" for a particular arachnid.
British daddy longlegs are not arachnids at all.
Quite so, but many think that they are.
I found an enormous caterpillar on my doorstep.
It may be an Elephant Hawk Moth Catapillar.
Hello, Bob the dog. Where have you been?
Gosh, October already. Where has this year gone?
Shooting into the past would be my guess.
There's three months to go. Anything could happen.
Uses enormous CaterpillarTM to dig up neighbour's garden
Can a CaterpillarTM fell my neighbour's bloody trees?
I'm conserving trees now, I can't allow that.
pen is the Tree Czar. Be very afraid.
Large Caterpillar can produce a very large Butterfly.
Caterpillars in the stomach must be very unnerving.
One must watch out for the butterfly effect.
Especially as it is the most dreadful tease.
Nights, we're not quite sure what you mean.
Maybe it's above our heads, like most butterflies.
Never mind, I don't think I know either.
It's fun writing about things you don't know.
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