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Each Move Must Consist Of Precisely Eight Words
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Just as it says on the tin. What happens in the game may be debated in the game: perhaps it'll be a conversation, perhaps a word-limited reprise of various games we play, or whatever.
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They have caught fire due to Global Warming.
I blame El Niño for all our ills.
Surely it cannot be blamed for traffic congestion?
We usually assign such blame to City Hall.
What about those who live in towns?
Did that sentence have less than eight words?
It certainly looked like seven words to me.
Then it seems that we are in agreement.
I think we should celebrate this transient harmony.
Everybody up on their feet and dance Agadoo.
Really, that is going too far, I think.
For my part, I am unfamiliar with Agadoo.
I wish I could say the same thing.
Curious! Might I inquire as to its nature?
It's a town in Morocco, according to Mycroft.
I rather think that it is this Agadoo.
I didn't want to be reminded of that/
Which is worse, Agadoo or the Birdie Song?
Neither song is as bad as "My Way."
Doesn't it depend on who the singer is?
It is particularly bad when I sing it.
That is no disgrace, I can assure you.
So sing the quick brown fox et cetera.
How does that particular one go, Tom P?
What about Jo Dolce 'Shut Uppa Your Face'?
Outscores "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polkadot Bikini".
Polkadot? One word? Taking the poetic mickey methinks :-)
I'm still cross about my two parking tickets :o(
Awe, tell us all about it, please pen.
My own stupid fault really, but it's expensive.
How expensive are parking tickets where you live?
£50 in Notting Hill, but £40 in Ealing
Ealing would seem a bargain. It's £60 here.
I want parking tickets from somewhere more glamorous
I'm afraid I can only offer you Warlingham.
If you think Jersey is glamorous, pay mine!
I was in Jersey only seven weeks ago.
I was in pullover only seven minutes ago.
I watched the Torchwood trailer seven seconds ago.
I'll be done typing in seven seconds' time.
That's less than a second per typed word!
Does depend where you start timing from though.
Some of us type more quickly than others!
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy
morniverser, who really ought not post an unfinished
sentence when there are so many just waiting
Waiting for what? The bus will be late.
Does anyone get reliable bus service these days?
I'm sure the Germans do, being so efficient.
Wo ist mein bus, er ist nicht gekommen.
Maybe my assertion lacks in situ experimental verification.
Why are we discussing busses at this time?
Is "busses" the correct spelling? It looks wrong.
If you aren't sure, then say "kisses" instead.
It's buses. I shall be subject to abuses.
Either buses or busses according to my dictionary.
Don't be silly. Everybody knows it is "bi."
I never heard double deckers called 'Bi' before.
Unless they like a bit of motorem bum
That should be " . . . bit motoris bi". (Genitive case).
Does "Aquitaine" actually rhyme with the word "queen"?
No, but Software's French is good, unless pissed.
One decided to invoke plummy British Royal pronunciation.
I do not find this explanation wholly convincing.
How about: "...France and England queen she became"?
Better - but does 'became' actually rhyme with 'Aquitaine' :-)
Methane rhymes with Aquitaine. It's a gas, though.
Methane, ethane, propane, butane - they're all rhyming gases.
Shall we continue where we left off, chaps?
How many more rhyming gasses can you supply?
Fluorine, chlorine, phosphine, arsine, acetylene, ethylene, propylene, allene. You shouldn't have asked. :-)
Can you name eight gases rhyming with "oxygen"?
[Rosie] Why not? I'm beguiled and delighted. Thanks.
I think naming gasses is far too elementary.
One only comes up with such puns periodically.
I am such a Francophile; I say "a-kee-ten".
Actually, I think "a-kee-ten", but say "a-kwee-tain" aloud.
I'm such a chemist I say "A ketone".
(Quendalon) Hydrogen, nitrogen, cyanogen is all there are.
I wonder if there were any Aquitainaise chemists?
Yes, they stick dipropylene glycol in the wines. Allegedly.
But surely Rosie's last post contains nine words?
That was a mightily bold statement young Darren.
If Rosie's wasn't nine then this contains nought.
Or does it have to be italicised also?
Seems I've caused a bit of a shemozzle.
Can we have a ruling on italics usage?
Perhaps we need a ruling on fonts too?
And let's not forget coloured words as well.
How long did that take you to type?
I'm not sure how that might be relevant.
Who are people appealing to for rulings though?
I am always glad to issue a ruling.
What? Did somebody ask me something just then?
You have spelt your own name wrong. Imposter!
That guy never claimed he was Humphrey Lyttelton.
The poster also never claimed he was male.
Furthermore, I have never claimed I am female.
Plenty of other people have done so, though.
Many people think that Chalky is a man.
Some must think you're just ones and noughts.
Wired ran a challenge. Can we match it?
Yes. Needs a separate game. Perhaps eight words?
I'm rather bored, who's up for some ping-pong?
*grabs bat, throws ball up... down, serves* ping!
Pong! This homophone deserves greater exploitation, I feel.
Ping also has certain atributes for Unix® enthusiasts.
Pong was a game. Before my time alas.
I feel sure you must have experienced pongs.
As an industrial chemist I experienced them professionally.
As an effluent analyst, I experienced some too.
You are clearly a woman of many parts.
Rosie, the things I did you wouldn't believe
Maybe you could try to test our credulity.
Ping, Pang and Pong are characters in Turandot.
So, guess who got laid last night then?
How many guesses are we allowed to have?
nights is merely telling us he's a carpet.
People have told me that all my life.
I shouldn't stand for that. Trip them up.
Glad we resisted jokes about "shag" and "piles."
We have done so far. Melvyns and Chalfonts.
I'm off to Paris today. See you Sunday.
'Ave a wondairful 'oleeday chère jhoosteen. À bientôt.
Pen, I hope that you aren't going alone.
Still on the pull at your age? Disgraceful!
I think Rosie has started talking to himself.
"Started", he witters. So little does he know.
He knows you know that I know now.
I am from Warlingham, Surrey. I know nothing.
But even in Warlingham, Surrey, knowledge is power.
That's why SEEboard delivers encyclopaedias but not electricity.
I taught a battery to play Trivial Pursuit.
And now I bet you win every time, Darren.
I've returned from Paris with a stinking cold :o(
Did you have to pay duty on it?
They could take half of it with pleasure
...once they arrested you for carrying illegal immigrants.
Je pense que vous avez un rhume puant.
Je veux vous montrer ma compétence en français.
What's the bloody French for 'Dead Ended Conversation'?
Conversation tout inutile. Shall we now move on?
Yes, let's. I have never known any French.
Podemos hablar en Españnol, si lo quieren ustedes
Now stop showing off and speak some English :-)
Enough linguistics. The rain has cleared over here.
That's because it has blown over this way
There's no peace for the wicked of Rickmansworth.
Now it is blowing a gale over here.
I doubt Admiral Beaufort would call it that.
I doubt Kenneth Branagh would call it that.
Where does Kenneth Branagh come in on this?
I just mentioned him. I did that indeed.
But is he an experienced marine meteorological observer?
Does that matter though? Julian Clary wouldn't either.
What has camping got to do with meteorology?
Humans are the only species who go camping
I thought bears were particularly good at camping.
They defecate in woods but live in cities.
A big one circles the pole every night.
A bit like a pole dancer then, Rosie?
The women in this place are agreeably bawdy.
Trying to pole-dance, but not been to Poland
Trying to shop, but not been to Iceland.
No self will today, bought bar of chocolate.
No Will Self either, whom I rather like.
My new car is bloody full of water.
Have you driven it off of a bridge?
No, I think the sunroof has a leak.
Did your penultimate post originally say "bloody water"?
How do you zap the commercials with TiVo
Daniel Kiviat is here!
Tuj, Can you speak French?
Who is Tuj?
Agatha Christie is constipated!
Did you hear about George Bush?
[Kiely] Please re-submit your posts with more words
That is rather ladylike but it may work.
Highly restrained,Pen, in my own humble opinion.
Why do people think this is live chat?
coz there saddos who nevr go out yeah
Well we are alive and chatting, so it is.
Did I detect an extra word just then?
Yes, that is true. I cannot count. Bollocks.
[Insert joke about doctor who cannot count bollocks.]
Attention Lib: "Testes, testes. One, Two, One, Two."
Counting was not part of my medical degree.
Nor ENT, dermatology, anatomy. I make it up.
You should have some ability at jazz, then.
Jazz, perhaps, but life is random and chaotic!
I hope that's not true of medical procedures.
I have an exam tomorrow and feel very sick.
That is quite obvious from your extra word.
Oh, sigh. Not again. Life is tough.
I find averaging makes everything much much better.
We all hope you pass with flying colours.
Lib is still cheating, doubling up for sixteen.
So, Lib, was all the stress worth it?
It was horrible. Results out in a week.
My fingers are crossed, and it's not arthritis.
I'm bored. What shall we all do now?
We could all simultaneously shout "Points mean prizes!".
Points out that nobody has mentioned Christmas yet.
Points mean prizes! Points mean prizes! Join in!!
The first person to mention Christmas here loses.
Is it ok to mention the Holiday Season?
We haven't put the office decorations up yet.
Don't forget to do a Risk Assessment first.
Exam results are out. I failed. Sigh. Weep.
Oh that's too bad Lib. A bad fail?
Sorry pen. However I passed. I'm now MEng.
Obviously I meant commiserations to Lib not pen. :-0
Congrats, Softers. Was that recently? So what now?
No marks. Doing again April. Well done Softy!
Thanks Lib and pen. What next? Nothing really.
There's an unusually bright object in the sky.
I've seen it too. The temperature dropped today.
We has a touch of frost overnight here.
That's no excuse for yokel-like grammatical infelicities.
Have you caught my non counting bug, Rosie?
I think hyphenated words should count as two.
I'm away for Christmas; therefore may not post.
Merry Christmas to all; back for New Year.
I'm working Christmas nights so may post lots.
I'm fixing wireless for mummy, can I post?
She'll be able to hear the Light Programme.
But the 'Light Programme' no longer exists, Rosie.
Nor the word "wireless" as of old. Geddit?
It only worked for twenty minutes, f*ck it.
(pen) No, you f*ck it; I'll hold it.
I'm back. When's my turn to f*ck it?
Done mine, now when do I get paid?
It has gone very quiet here this year.
I have just booked myself a September holiday :o)
Something worthy, such as examining extinct Icelandic volcanoes?
I've booked a holiday in Cathar castle country
No, it's haymaking in Hertfordshire, for four days.
(pen) That sounds fun, whether literal or metaphorical.
I'm going to Salford to visit my son.
[Softers] Wave at Stockport. I'll wave back, probably.
Lib IS Stockport, a town with a personality.
Stockport certainly lacks personality, I have stolen it.
I'll wave at Stockport, should I recongize it.
It'll say "Stockport. Jumelée avec Fontainbleau" ou quelquechose.
En fait, il semble être jumelé avec Béziers
English now. Today I have bought a car.
Is it an English car or perhaps Japanese?
These days the distinction is not always clear.
Is it that Japanese cars have slitty eyes?
No, it's that they are made in Swindon.
This one is from Prague. Its a Skoda!
I discovered that "škoda" is Czech for "damage".
A Citroen is no better. It's a lemon.
Skoda cannot be Czech, far too many vowels.
It's only forty per cent vowelated! VW's zero.
Not in Welsh it isn't, indeed to goodness.
I'll be out of range next week - holiday :)
You're lucky. Where are you going Pen? Jealous!
Must have missed her already. That was quick.
Hopefully, she'll tell us all on her return.
Wild and windy Dorset, a cottage with friends
Is it now furnished with the Napoli booty?
Yep, all motorbikes and nappies. We ate catfood.
Pen? Nappies? We need a better explanation, please.
They were washed ashore from that stricken ship.
Is no-one talking here any more? Suit yourself.
There ain't nobody here but us chickens, pen.
And us chickens all have the avian flu.
Fear not. That is strictly for the birds.
I've got girl flu, variant of bird flu.
"Vet is fine!", reads slow news day headline
"Vet is bedder zan colt" says German mountaineer.
So 'man flu' is a completely different disease?
Shall I draw you a Venn diagram, pen?
That would be beyond my small, pink brain
You must have plenty of grey matter, though.
Yes Rosie, but I dye it brunette again.
You could highlight the cortex and hypothalamus, surely?
I didn't think L'Oréal was worth that much.
That is something of an insult, isn't it?
My last remark has killed things stone dead.
Maybe it was something that you said. Eh?
Anyone seen the Hogarth exhibition at Tate Britain?
Funny that you should mention that. Actually, no.
Привет друзья! Я чуствую что я не умный.
Nice one, Cyril, but could you decode it?
No, as it takes fifteen words in English.
Then enter two lines - plus an extra word.
But that's wrong and breaks the rules, softers.
There's only one rule; the eight word limit.
Not a word more, not a word less.
So no variations on that rule? No exceptions?
Game summary (up top) exceeds the word limit.
Tuj you are being a pedant. Please stop.
So, who led the Pedant's Revolt? Which Tyler.
That is one of my son's favourite jokes.
I promise: no more Russian. It causes argument.
[Lib] It was ironic, as I wrote it.
Right, that's settled, now shall we move on?
We have all moved on, as politicians say.
I can't think of anything worth saying yet.
Do you think we'll have a hot summer?
Hot summer, yes please. I'll be unemployed then.
So will I, however sadly not through choice.
I hope we move office before a hot summer.
Its not my choice either. Government lottery. Bastards.
Have you been sacrificed for the Olympics? Disgraceful.
I am actually considering volunteering for Olympic sacrifice.
How do they decide who gets first place?
Well, firstly, you have to live in Stratford.
On Avon (is Shakespeare fatal?) or east London?
Shakespeare can be fatal. Watch "Theatre of Blood".
(pen) It's the latter. You will be made homeless.
I speak of my impending graduation. With fear.
[nights] Most people survive graduation ceremonies, don't they?
(nights) Do you mean your possible non-graduation? Ruling needed on hyphenated words.
I like hyphenated words. Small-talk. Short-list. Quad-biking. Any-thing!
1-(3,4-methylenedioxyphenyl)-2-methylaminopropane. You would like that. You'd be ecstatic.
Ecstatic at the word count or chemical effect?
I've just discovered virtual drugs in Second Life.
[Rosie] A word with a comma in it!!
I haven't posted a line here in ages.
I was "pushing the envelope", pen. It's Ecstasy.
I'm more afraid of what it will mean.
Mrs Robinson says it'll mean you're The Graduate.
I want to say one word to you.
Why didn't you leave room for it, then?
Nobody can squeeze a word in edgeways here.
I manage OK, but nine-word cowboys are excluded.
[Rosie] I presumed you'd know what it was.
[CdM] Was the "you" Rosie? I'd assumed penelope.
Friday, everyone! Time to let our hair down?
You assume that we still have some hair.
I still can't think of anything worth saying.
[Knobbly] BZZZT! Contradiction! [nights] My hair's too short.
Figure of speech, people! Get with the times.
That figure of speech was around aeons ago.
Who knows how long an aeon is, though?
I do. But I'm not going to tell.
We didn't find out how pen's interview went.
Perfect job, but I think I'm too old.
Surely, pen, that cannot be true, can it?
I'm older than those who interviewed me (badly).
Were you applying to a young mother's group?
How patronising! I work in the motor industry.
[Tuj] "You" was actually nights. This may clarify.
Sorry to offend. It was the age group.
Age group? I think you're a bit genderist.
A bizarre crossbreed would yield Softlope and peneware.
There would then remain the question of pronunciation.
The trouble is - hasn't pronunciation always been questionable?
Peneware means "almost fabricated", like The Spice Girls.
I'm in a hole. Time to stop digging.
Softlope could be an Australian rock band, perhaps.
Excited people want to say words to me.
They all begin "You may already have won..."
Surely better than "Where's what you owe us??"
Softlope sounds like a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Or a sheep in wolf's clothing, may be?
BBZZZTTTT-ding!! 'Maybe' is one word, Softers. No buts.
But isn't BBZZZTTTT-ding two words in itself, pen?
Per chance we need a ruling on archaisms.
Thought we agreed hyphenated words count as one?
But what if they were not all-ways hyphenated?
The spirit of the rules needs no excuses.
Good point. But let's not be too pedantic.
For fun, we could be REALLY pedantic, instead!
Would that be as opposed to fictitiously pedantic?
In this game, I am only virtually pedantic.
Happy Charity Guilt Day, everyone UK based!
That's the most clunking sentence I've ever read.
Yes, but do I look bovvered to you?
Clunk off, I'm a linguist, therefore I'm right. :)
If two linguists disagreed, which would be right?
Are you calling me a linguist? I'm flattered.
That is not really flattery. That is indigestion.
It certainly sounded like it from over here.
That can only be explained by anomalous propagation.
Oh really? So explain it then, clever clogs!
I can't - it's anomalous, or possibly very loud.
Can somebody please turn down the volume, then?
What sort of volume would you like, then?
I'd turn down Wayne Rooney's autobiography without hesitation.
But that doesn't really answer the question asked.
Remind me of what the question asked was.
The first eight-word move in the new place!
Indeed! Thanks rab for seemless transitions! Huzzah huzzah!
Shurely not an unseemly transition? It works well.
After all the accolades, shall we move on?
What topic should we move on to then?
I think we could usefully address patio heaters.
My patio often remains chilly after using one.
I find drinking beer helps more than heating.
[Lib] Was that intended as an added consonant?
Beer makes me forget what I just uum, err
Err is right. That was nine words, moroni.
Looks as though Spring has arrived at last.
Oh dear. Don't put the mockers on it!
There is nothing but fog here in Cambridge
Must remember to count the vertical single letter
Ah, and I thought moroni was an insult!
Perhaps moroni would care to explain his/her name.
Moroni is a mormon angel statue with trumpet
It is also "moron" followed by letter "i"
You decide if I am moron or statue
Sure you're not the capital city of Comoros?
No man is an island, except Fred Madagascar
*[hmmm - perhaps moroni is an attention seeker person]*
[Chalky] Fred Madagascar made me laugh. Newbie, surely.
There's Lennox Lewis. Don't laugh - he'll thump you.
Tommy Cooper made me laugh; Tony Blair doesn't.
Rosie, remember Keith Harris? Not many laughs really.
st dogmael made me laugh. Where'd he go?
There's David Gower. No man is a peninsula.
Tim, Graham, Willie, Barry, Humphry made me laugh.
Newbie to board, fifteen year veteran of MC
Fifteen years ago I wasn't even a teenager!
Neither was I, but for a different reason!
Come, children! Fifteen years ago is only yesterday.
Yesterday was Thursday, in my world at least.
I really ought to go to bed earlier.
A sentiment I voice for myself also [sigh]
Sighs don't count, just as size doesn't matter.
How many points for a pair of pants?
Pants with points in are really very uncomfortable.
Surely that depends on what activities pleasures you?
There you go again. You really are disgraceful.
A PAIR OF PANTS! That's two heavy breaths.
[Rosie] I giggle cos mother thinks I'm innocent!
Flush, swirl, sounds of where game is heading.
Ladies or gents? Or perhaps both, it seems.
We must stop this going down the pan.
We always revert to toilet humour when bored.
I'm not bored. I'm panicing. Big exam today.
Deep breath, Lib. Stay calm, and enjoy it! :o)
Good luck, Lib, better luck this time, eh?
Exam time, what joy, results time, what sorrow.
That's a bit of a pessimistic attitude, moroni
Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best.
An optimist cannot ever be pleasantly surprised, penelope.
I think they can - because they're hopeful chaps
I mean - why should expectation somehow negate surprise?
I think I'd call myself a realistic optimist
Is that better than an unrealistic pessimist, then?
We went from toilet humour to this quickly!
We've all had a crap, and feel good.
Let's swiftly move onto a less toilet-based subject!
Does a hyphenated word count one or two?
Personally, I would count it as one. This-though-would-be-a-cheat!
Haven't we had this debate before? Ruling, please?
Sorry, I don't have a ruler on me
I have. Hyphenated words always count as one.
Let us all take that as definitive. Sorted!
How about a quick hands-up for the 'not-sures'?
Can I put half a hands-up for maybe?
Is that an absolutely positive definite maybe, snorgle?
I'm in the not-quite-so-sure-that-this-is-so-cut-and-dried-as-gil-seems-to-think-it-is group, myself. I think.
The generally-in-agreement word-perfect linguistically-dual Betws-y-Coed cottage-dwellers say no.
[CdM] Why not found the-try-to-take-the-concept-to-a-logical-though-somewhat-absurdist-extreme-or-at-least-to-the-level-to-which-one-can-be-fussed-to-do-in-the-next-minute-or-so-provided-the-attention-span-lasts-and-one-doesn't-get-confused-by-the-lack-of-commas-or-other-such-things-such-as-the-fact-I've-pretty-much-forgotten-where-I-was-ah-yes-the-absurdist-extremes-that's-the-one group? More fun!
...and besides flights of fancy, I'd say no.
How is the weather today where you are?
Sunny with occasional cloud, and really quite warm.
Forty Nine Degrees Farenheight, chance of snow tonight.
Moroni, that's chilly. What country are you in?
85°F in my office. Blazing sunshine, central heating.
Central heating? Fools. Don't you use centigrade yet?
USA but I am originally from the UK.
Even with centigrade central heating is sometimes necessary.
I prefer to heat with Fahrenheit. It's hotter.
Kelvin is the hottest, zero is tricky though.
Absolutely! Absolute zero, easily defined. Tricky to find.
Not at all. Google Whitehall. Click on Intelligence.
Bloody hell! I passed. Very very very happy.
Hurrah! Fantastic news Lib! Very well done indeed!
Don't go and get drunk, Lib. Medically inadvisable.
Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!
Congratulations, Lib, we all agree you deserve it.
Thank you all very much indeed. Appreciated. Ta!
Well done Lib. Now you can play MC.
I'll admit I never took the MC test
I passed, but got stuck in Dollis Hill.
Late as always - but ... well done that Lib!
I hope there's a job for you, lib.
Sorry that you got stuck in Dollis Hill.
It's better than getting stuck in Silent Hill.
Silent Hill... in the old Mime Crescent game?
This game would not work better in mime.
I don't know, why don't we try it?
Mime it is, - - - - -
Nope, no idea Moroni. What's the nodding for?
. - + + - + . ,
*Pretends to be shut in an invisible box*
[Knobblers] Ah Got it! You're a bent-over person?
[Obviously that doesn't apply if the box is tall]
(Knobbly) You're Schrödinger's Cat. Are you still there?
If you are, are you dead or alive?
Maybe we could take a look? Puzzle solved.
No, I'm afraid that would be puzzle aborted.
Let's put him in this Klein bottle instead.
My mobius band seems to go on forever.
I blame the guitarist - all those endless solos.
Lucky you're not a jazz fan. Bass solos.
Triangle or gong solos are not very entertaining.
It depends how long they go on for.
Personally, I do not like maracas solos much.
Sounds like someone dropping a box of dominoes
You can't go wrong with a kazoo solo.
I'd prefer the swannee whistle please. More dulcet.
Not as dulcet as the dulcimer I say.
I'd say a harp solo is even dulceter.
Dulceter sounds like a rather twee small town.
It is east of Camberwick Green, near Trumpton.
Pugh, Pugh, Barny McGrew, Cutherbert, Dibble and Grout.
A little known fact. Lib can play harp.
You'll have to bring it to a pilg.
Is the harp bigger than a bread bin?
Smaller than a phonebox, but bigger than breadbin.
Begins with a P? (oops! wrong game)
[Lib] Begins with a P? (oops! wrong game)
How did you "pluck" the courage to play?
[I Say, Porter!] That was a bit close.
A close shave, eh? Many ladies like that.
Some, in my experience, prefer the opposite, fortunately.
Back, sack and crack? Better than close shaving!
I lie. Men are best in natural form.
Lib's right. I prefer slightly hairy men too.
I prefer slightly hairy women, come to that.
Slightly hairy women, like ones with nice beards?
Just on the head, maybe a small moustache.
You're not in favour of luxuriant armpits, then?
I've always thought armpit shaving a strange custom.
I wonder if the armpit dreadlock's been invented.
Wonder no longer. Rest assured, it has. Awesome.
Does anyone dye their armpit hair as well?
This is reaching high levels of the bizarre.
I should hope so. We're all highly educated.
I wonder. How many of us have tattoos?
Not me. Doesn't mean you're educated though, surely?
Tatoos - Moving pictures all year round for partner.
I have no tattoos. But I am pierced.
Tanni Grey-Thompson has tattooed right big toe
My lower lip is stretched like Sting's mate's
Phil, you big pouter! Do you dribble much?
I lied. My body has no deliberate modifications.
Piercings? Tattoos? Are we a bunch of fetishists?
My well-being depends on plastic in two forms.
That would be credit and debit one assumes.
Ha! No! Plastic lenses and acrylic upper denture.
Sadly, that is the 'joy' of getting old.
Do any of you lovely crescenters have tattoos?
Not I. To me they are simply repulsive.
No, not me. I never saw a need.
(Lib) I asked that only a few moves back.
BUM'OLES - that's nine. Replace a few with thirteen.
I prefer the chiaroscuro of wrinkles to tattoos.
And unlike tattoos, they don't fade over time.
Will Lib reveal where she has been pierced?
Sorry Rosie. I expected to be asked. Its....
Interesting lack of apostrophe. Look forward to continuation.
I find no apostrophes is better than wrong!
Such tantalizing silence, Lib. We can only imagine.
[Softers] I've never been tantalised by punctuation... oh.
Let's talk about gas stoves. They're very interesting.
We have a gas stove, it is nice.
Personally, I hate gas. Our stove is electric.
Its a nipple bar. I cook on gas.
I preferred coal gas. Very short intense flame.
A nipple bar sounds fun. Two pints please.
Try searching Google Images for "nipple bar". Ouch!
I searched and found this picture. Ouch indeed.
A picture makes up for a thousand words!
Really? Then write a thousand words about it!
Does that mean CdM has broken the rules?
Rules are made to be broken, it's said.
CdM has made 125 moves, not broken rules.
So 1/125 of a picture equals one move?
And 1/125 of a second gives one picture.
That appears to be high definition stuff indeed!
Is it time for another cup of coffee?
It's always time for another cup of coffee.
In my youth, coffee was posh. Expensive, too.
And no-one in Britain could make it properly.
Make it in a proper copper coffee pot.
I like good coffee and good tea too.
I have a massive hangover. Had exams yesterday.
I'm newly freelancing. That means no work yet. :o(
Pen I've got work. Cleaning and Ironing ok?
Lib, sounds fine to me. I love ironing.
But pen, you're worth far more than that!
Hope work appears soon! Keep going, you're ace!
Have ironing. Can send from Belgium DHL...
How did that become seven words? Add 'by'.
[Lib] She didn't tell you what she charges
It'd get creased again when I return it!
Drop it off on your way to Holland!
Put "fragile" on the packet, it may survive.
Success! I'm doing PR for a Choral Society!
Excellent. Hurrah. Well done pen. Good luck too.
OK, folks. Eight word Choral Society slogans. Go!
Carshalton Beeches Ladies' Choir. We're Singers not Mingers.
Want a song? With us you're never wrong!
No competition. I think that takes the biscuit.
Who needs a blocked nose? We've got Tunes!
Mostly in Tune Since 1965 (Except the Tenors)
No Accuse Teno's Of Singin' Wrong: It Debases
All Our Bass Are Belong To You, Folks
Hear our choir - we can Handel The Messiah.
You practice in the bath? Take more baths.
She sings sweet songs softly so she says.
Softly swishing soap suds she sits silently shampooing.
That one would definitely encourage me to attend!
You mean there are no choral financial incentives?
I was at the Epsom Derby today. Heaving.
Heaving? You ought not to drink so much.
Penelope, were you wearing a silly stylish elaborate hat?
No, in the free bit with the hoi-polloi
How did the hoi-polloi taste? Too spicy again!
Tried not to taste them. Kept my distance.
The "the" in "the hoi polloi" is redundant.
Some may say the hoi polloi are redundant.
By looks of them, a lot were.
Phil is right. Standards must be kept up.
Penelope used only seven words. Standards are falling.
The 'redundant' was redundant. I left it out.
That's neat, pen, but I am not convinced.
Alternatively, one could say "the polloi", I suppose.
I have a parrot that says, "pretty polloi"
Is your parrot from Dudley, I Say, Porter!?
I hope it is not an ex parrot.
No, it's an expatriate, living in Greece, obviously.
Isn't living in grease a messy business, Rosie?
Better than living in a Saturday night fever.
Made lemon cake this morning, for afternoon tea.
What will you eat for supper then, pen?
No idea. Fish finger sandwich, mayonnaise, ketchup maybe?
I hope you defrost the fish fingers first.
They lose their crunch when you defrost them.
yes and that is sad. crunch is best.
There's a lunatic in here! Looks friendly, though.
They're the ones you have to watch carefully.
Yes, he said "crunch". That sounds rather violent.
I like Crunchy bars straight from the fridge.
That practice denuded me of half my teeth.
"Yorkies" are like concrete when they are cold.
I hate the pathetic little nippy yappy bastards.
I tried putting golden syrup in the freezer.
ISP, try putting them in the freezer too.
Did you succeed Rosie or was it failure?
How can I succeed Rosie. I am Rosie.
I guess you could succeed at being Rosie.
I'm giving it a go. Few others would.
I would, but I can't play the trombone.
[everyone] Please, no 'neither can Rosie' gags. Thanks.
Actually, I'm a considerably better pianist than trombonist.
My music teacher asked me to stop playing.
You can't tuck a 'cello under your chin.
Nor a piano. But you wear a sousaphone.
I can't actually play any instrument at all.
I'm not very good, but I enjoy trying.
That could apply to many of my activities.
To parachute you must be good every time.
Not necessarily if you are a lucky bastard.
I didn't click on that link. Dunno why.
There is a surreal quality in that remark.
[Software] His father said he'd "bounce back". Nice.
I think you're confusing this with bungee jumping.
Bungee jumping and parachuting. What is the difference?
One is head first, the other feet first.
That can be said about lots of things.
What shall we talk about next; any ideas?
Just thinking how much I dislike windy weather.
Indeed, I hate flatulence in general. Most unsociable.
Could flatus replace fossil fuels if efficiently collected?
Certainly. And the plentiful bovine variety is odourless.
Putting cows in gasometers would be rather cruel.
What about a tube up the bum, then?
You'd never fit a cow into one of those!
(Oops. Nine words. Here's seven to compensate.)
Two wrongs do not necessarily make a right.
Shurely two negatives make a positive, if multiplied.
Two rites do not quite make a ceremony.
Two ceremonies ddon't necessarily make it right either.
Two "right" angles make a very straight line.
It's as easy as pi to say that.
Hear about the yokel mathematician? Married his cosin.
Noah used yacht varnish to get an arctan.
This conversation is a Sine of the times.
I think we need to take another angle.
Does a right angle boil at ninety degrees?
It does indeed. And removes all beetroot stains.
Methyl formate boils at approximately ninety degrees Fahrenheit.
Just back from Lisbon; ninety degrees there too.
It was ninety degrees here late last week.
I'm sure that statement is true, but WTFRU?
Somewhere where it's ninety degrees, obviously, Rosie. Duh!
It was only in the 70's today Rosie.
But enough of the weather, in sports today...
Wicket dot rain dot wicket wicket dot rain
Rain. There has been plenty of it lately.
That's not the most controversial comment I've seen.
Point of contention! Not in the Atacama desert.
The Atacama Desert is not entirely without rain.
We are not greedy take our spare rain.
Spare rain comes with a degree of humidity.
Can you get an honours degree in humidity?
Yes, but it needs less inspiration than perspiration.
No chance to perspire in this rainy weather!
Horses sweat, gentlemen perspire but ladies merely glow.
Horses sweat because "only fools and horses work".
Shurely working horses would sweat, whoever else works.
Would anti-persperant for horses work do you think?
It would die of hyperthermia. Humane, at least.
Horse sweat is an ingredient in school dinners.
In 1948 it was about the only ingredient.
In the 1970's we had "Mystery Meat", scary!!!
Can't comment. I never ate school dinners myself.
Anyway, why are they called dinners at lunchtime?
Breakfast, dinner, tea and supper. No second breakfast.
No. It's breakfast, elevenses, lunch, tea, dinner, supper.
Such regimes are the reason we're all overweight.
I prefer to say a bit chubby, myself.
Try Intermittent Fasting: eat nothing every other day.
That would play havoc with your bowel movements.
Show me a motion, tra la la la-la...
"This House strongly approves of all lavatorial humour".
Flushed with pride, round the bend with happiness.
Toilet thieves leave me nothing to go on.
Nessun Dorma, for Milan is on the Po.
Irish invented toilet, English put hole in middle.
Thank goodness for the hole. And the leak.
Other news. Job won. Moving soon. Ahoy Grantham!
One other thing. Anyone got any spare boxes?
[pen] You could try asking at wine shops.
(pen) Three in two minutes. See a doctor.
[pen] Congratulations. Grantham? Hope Thatcher not still there.
Thatcher gone? That means the roofs are leaking.
Or fewer fouls by Manchester City. About time.
We have a thatcher snatcher in the house!!!
New Balls. On the theme of Autumn, anyone?
[pen] Is that referring to your sex life?
Good Lord no. A seasonal reference, you noodle.
Autumn, I think, is the warm dark season.
"Wohl ist der Herbst ein Ehrenmann" - Johann Voß
Not all of us can speak German Knobbly.
It means "Surely is Autumn a man of honour"
Babelfish: "Probably the autumn is an honour man."
Sounds like an advert for Carlsburg to me.
Carlsburg, probably the best advert in the world.
Actually, it's spelt "Carlsberg", as in "Saccharomyces Carlbergensis".
Drat, I mistyped "Carlsbergensis". Silly me! How ironic.
An egregious error. The place is in ferment.
Ferment? I just found some mouldy leather gloves.
(pen) You could become the new Charlie Dimmock.
Calm down, Rosie. Remember what the doctor said.
What if he'd said I'd got memory loss?
Best to forget about your memory loss, Rosie.
Just remind me, what are we doing here?
[Pen] Trying to avoid discussing your sex life?
Do people in the Morniverse actually have sex?
Believe me Rosie, I do it anywhere but here
I should announce an Official Change of Subject
Only after you apologise for your extra word.
And for the indiscriminating nature of your libido.
Sorry. And I'll be more picky next time.
It won't get better if you pick it.
Isn't that what trade unnionists are always told?
Arthur Scargill would want some Flying Pickets instead.
Surely the Flying Pickets were a pop group.
Yes they were and don't call me "Surely".
Isn't that 'Don't call me Shirley', surely, moroni?
Should be Shirley but said Surely by mishtake.
I've never heard of the flying Shirleys, anyway.
Their jokes would probably go over your head
That depends upon how tall your body is.
My body? Starts at neck, finishes at legs.
Here is today's eight-word offering for your perusal.
I never really wanted to be an engine-driver.
Does that mean what you lack is "inginuity"?
I shall treat that remark with complete ignoral. © George Brown, ca. 1968.
I have fourteen daddy longlegs in my house today
One of them gave you an extra word.
Americans use "daddy longlegs" for a particular arachnid.
British daddy longlegs are not arachnids at all.
Quite so, but many think that they are.
I found an enormous caterpillar on my doorstep.
It may be an Elephant Hawk Moth Catapillar.
Hello, Bob the dog. Where have you been?
Gosh, October already. Where has this year gone?
Shooting into the past would be my guess.
There's three months to go. Anything could happen.
Uses enormous CaterpillarTM to dig up neighbour's garden
Can a CaterpillarTM fell my neighbour's bloody trees?
I'm conserving trees now, I can't allow that.
pen is the Tree Czar. Be very afraid.
Large Caterpillar can produce a very large Butterfly.
Caterpillars in the stomach must be very unnerving.
One must watch out for the butterfly effect.
Especially as it is the most dreadful tease.
Nights, we're not quite sure what you mean.
Maybe it's above our heads, like most butterflies.
Never mind, I don't think I know either.
It's fun writing about things you don't know.
Softers, you could go far in public relations.
Or be successful writing for the Daily Mail.
Or teaching at a university in France, even.
That really is a most disturbing revelation, nights.
Why thank you, Rosie. I made it myself.
Gosh! Could you make me one as well?
I'll have a go. I eat cheesy peas.
I've done it all my life. No, wait...
That is funny, I usually eat Peasy Cheese.
I prefer peas or cheese, not a melange.
Yes, some things don't blend. Marmalade and kippers.
I think they do, actually. Try high speed.
Marmalade And Kippers were a Dutch musical twosome.
Oh yes. They were banned, weren't they? Hmm?
I like a little marmalade with breakfast sausages.
Maple syrup goes well with bacon at breakfast.
I'm rather partial to Cheddar cheese and jam.
I eat my organic frozen peas with honey.
I dislike maple syrup. Golden or treacle please.
[Raak] Agreed - and also with sausages and pancakes.
Cereal-wise, lemonade isn't a good subsitute for milk.
Lemonade on Rice Krispies would go crazy wild!
Brings new meaning to snap, crackle and pop!
I'll have to try that one out now
Do let us know how you get on.
Frosties can be sent through the postal system.
They may also pass through the digestive system.
With Parcelforce they can also be anally tracked.
With Royal Mail they'll probably not get through.
ConstiparcelForce. Not eight words, just one good one.
Doesn't Parceline sound like a French girl's name?
There are no games of Mornington Crescent here.
[Rosie] No, Parceline is posh talk for china.
Isn't it a lubricant for *ahem* unmentionable practices?
Parceline hydrochloride is illegal. Street name is "wrapping".
Addicts take Sellotape afterwards to hold it together.
The French dub of Kill Bill's quite good.
How does one say "to dub" in French?
"doubler un film" means "to dub a film"
Rarely is it done well; I was surprised.
Perfume adverts on TV are always badly dubbed.
Especially on S4C, so it is widely averred.
Gerry Adams' lips still seem to be unsynchronized.
I've got to write 400 words. Hard work.
Surely that depends on the subject, doesn't it?
Hard to fit in, or to pad out?
To draw the 'news' out of the subject
Just write in a bigger font. It works.
400 = 50 x 8. Use this game.
Have we done 50 eight word moves yet?
Far more than 50 moves, I should think.
We have done about one thousand three hundred.
One thousand two hundred and thirty six.
Maybe.
Shurely you didn't count them one by one?
That would be far too tedious, I think.
No, just tedious enough. Imagine it. *stifles yawn*
A discovery - pretzels, in general, make poor sandwiches.
Have you tried filling the holes with cheese?
[Rosie and Quenders] Hint: click on a name.
[Tuj] Amazing! I'd not noticed that till then.
(Tuj) You might have told us right click.
Yes, that would have been far more informative.
Have you noticed the mornings are getting darker?
I can't tell, it's been too dark recently.
Me neither, because I don't get up early. you could say.
How about seven words for a while?
Some very quick thinking there by CdM.
Surely that would change the game's nature?
Newcomers might be confused by a change.
Seven words from now on. That's clear.
I am certainly willing to try it.
What if that scrolls off the top?
What if some of us refuse to co-operate?
You'll be Procrusteanised.
Yeah, we'll have to compensate for you
ti la sol fa mi re do
Does anyone know what game Rosie is playing?
Oi Rosie, what's your game, sunshine? Seven?
Just trying it on a bit, friends. :-)
So, are we doing seven and/or eight?
[Phil] I'm sticking to my guns. [Rosie] Ha!
I'm with Tuj here. Eight gives more scope.
[Rosie] Well, sure it does. Fourteen gives even more scope than that. Your point?
[CdM] Point: eight's in the title. Fourteen isn't.
Now, now lads, keep it nice. A decision?
I vote to keep it as it was.
I agree; that is probably the simplest solution.
After all, that's the name of the game.
Octoverbal moves are what you shall see from me.
Four-nil, four-nil, four nil, four-nil!
I thought we'd decided hyphenations counted as one?
Quite so. A yellow card for Rosie, then.
And another one for Phil, wouldn't you say?
We must take a stand against invalid moves.
Why?
Oops! Meant to say "you'll" not "you shall".
Crossharbour & London Arena, home at Goodge Street.
This could end in tears, mark my words
Canary Wharf, declaring home at Tottenham Court Road.
This game is morphing. Are we getting bored?
[Softers] Not morphing; it's in the game description.
CdM really is a wind-up merchant, isn't he?
[Rosie] One of the very best, yes sirree!
[Rosie] Who, me?
Now now now - what's going on here then?
*waiting for Projoy's answer to my AVMA questions*
Thought I'd while away a moment or ten.
What-ho, Chalks. Would you like a choccy?
TV in Strasbourg: nine channels, and all crap.
[nights] and your point is? [Rosie] yes please :-)
[All] People! The rules of the game are oppressing you! Take a stand! Strike out for liberty and freedom!
Ignore this attention-seeking behaviour. There's freedom in conforming.
Three words good. Five better. Eight is best.
Is this turning into an eight-word Orwellian nightmare?
[Chalky] It was just an expression of discontent.
Now is the winter of our dissed content.
I've got microwaved fish pie for lunch today
*nods eight times*
[pen] I'm eating a mince pie right now.
You're all making me hungry. Please stop that.
[Quendalon] It looks as if your request was all too effective.
Rule 17 has something to say about this.
Rule 17 says: "Never order the shellfish dishes."
How unfortunate! I love shellfish. (Especially the scallops.)
[Raak] Rule 17? Are you sure?
Can't bear shellfish. [CdM] You being provocative again?
Still, Chalky, still.
Are anyone else's trousers rotating? No? Just me?
Rotation about which axis? x, y or z?
(x to your left, y up, z forward).
This is all way too mathematical for me.
Perhaps it is around the 'j' axis, then.
Perish the thought that nights' trousers are imaginary.
Indeed. That'd give the Alsatians a shock.
That'd be a seven-word posting you put up. Mine is 8, 9 or 10 according to taste.
Oh goodness me. Can't count. Very sorry, everyone.
Never mind, it could happen to anyone.
I'm sure Lynne Truss wouldn't be so cavalier.
Yes, well, she's something of a paragon, no?
[nights] Doesn't bother me. :-)
Comma, semi-colon; full stop. "Quotation marks" exclamation mark!
I think it will be very cold tonight.
It is very cold here in East Tennessee.
It is very cold in my nose. Atchoo!
Please sneeze properly. There's a word at issue.
It is even fairly cold here; quite unusual.
That gives me the chance to eat more.
Winter break over January Ninth, and then, school...
[Red Wolf] Slacker. I'm back on the second.
Back to work Boxing Day morning, about 9.
We're away for Christmas; not for New Year.
I study at the University of Tennesse - Knoxville.
Tennessee: two ens, two esses and four ees.
Are you studying British Humour? None here, mate.
French universities are ace - not back till February.
Studying math this time round. Français, [nights]? Bien!
Lack of sleep is really tiring me out.
We're dying to know why you don't sleep.
He can't stand the dreams, the evil dreams...
[Red Wolf] Mais bien sûr. J'habite là, donc...
Nothing terribly exciting; I'm assigned to jury duty.
Isn't that the perfect excuse for daytime snoozing?
I fought you was an upright citizen, pen.
Happy Christmas and Happy New Year to all peoples!
This game is absurd! Eight words? No way!!
0x2C736559 0x20746920 0x72207369 0x65687461 0x20612072 0x6C6C6973 0x696C2079 0x2E74696D
Sorry, I don't understand. Would you please translate?
I think he's saying "Naught for your comfort"
[Simons] ",seY ti r siehta a rllisil y=tim"?
0x525B6161 0x5D6B4D20 0x42534C2D 0x4253202E 0x61446E6D 0x6520646E 0x61696E6E 0x73652173
I've a good mind to post in Welsh.
0x5B534D5D 0x20317374 0x20726576 0x39642062 0x79746573 0x2C20326E 0x6420776F 0x7264732E
You all know I'm a geek - Languages Ahoy!
Perhaps Russian... С Рождеством и с Новым Годом!
It's all going to end in tears.
I think I've said that before, CdM. Kleenex?
Testing. One two. One. One. Two. One two.
Passes randomness test. Numbers show no discernible pattern.
Anyone think SteveA is going to come back?
Maybe it's time for SteveB. New start?
I've got BBC World now. Still nothing on.
Well, get dressed then, you great narcissistic creep.
Really! You should be dressed by January 4th.
too bold, too bold, too bold, too bold!
Trying to assert your authority, are you pen?
Quite the opposite. Trying to rein it in!
You'll all be pleased to hear I'm naked.
I'm not pleased to hear it. I'm here.
You'll be relieved to hear I'm fully dressed.
I'm pleased I'm fully dressed. In the office.
Stuffy suits are the order of the day.
I'm wearing my dressing gown over clothes. Nippy.
Whee! I am still naked! See me run!
Are you running on the beach in Bude?
The Lord preserve us from latter-day Greek athletes.
Do we have a problem with my nudity?
It rather depends what you do with it.
There's a time and a place for everything.
What's the time and place for overcooked cabbage?
In the bin, and immediately, in my opinion.
All culinary errors can be salvaged by frying.
I don't think that's true for lumpy bechemel
Or cereal made with milk that's gone off.
[penelope] lumpy bechamel? why else did God invent sieves?
What about my case-hardened sausages? They can kill.
Right now, I could kill for a sausage.
I like sausages, but would hesitate at murder.
Some would claim that slaughtering pigs is murder.
Not least the pigs themselves, I would wager.
Can slaughtering sausages be murder by implication then?
You can murder a curry, equally a sausage.
Some pigs request assisted suicide,is this murder?
zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero
Tesseract - where does one find those talking pigs?
If we told you, we must kill you
The trouble is that there is some trouble.
[nights] You got your troubles, I got mine.
[pen] That would make a good song title.
There's some trouble up at the mill, apparently.
I think they've run out of cotton reels.
Don't believe what they say. They're talking bobbins.
Talking bobbins? Whatever next - a sewing machine singer?
Talking pigs, talking bobbins, too much animation here.
Oh, but that my students would shut up.
Provide them with peanut butter, and perhaps caramel.
[Quendalon] would that diet help bobbins/pigs talk?
[Software] I don't think it helps anyone talk.
(nights) I thought you taught in conversation classes.
No-one has said anything since Thursday. Why not?
Nothing to say.
I've not been playing enough Mornington Crescent lately.
[CdM] Would you expand on that statement, please?
[pen] Sure!
mc5 is a bit short on Mornington Crescent.
(Quendalon) You mean "It's short for Mornington Crescent".
[Rosie] No, I actually meant what I wrote.
[Rosie] Trouble is, they keep yelling in French.
You could rule that they shout in English?
I think I have missed a subtlety somewhere.
[Tuj] Subtleties have a tendency to do that.
Perhaps we need some subtitles, not more subtleties.
Only if each subtitle consists of eight words.
Perhaps we could dub over in English instead.
We're on a frogspawn hunt today. Seen any?
A little early in the season, isn't it?
That's the point. I want freakish phenology statistics.
We all want something freakish now and then.
No frogspawn on my head. Oops, that's phrenology.
No, that's amphibian kidnapping and punishable by law.
Would that be the Frogs (Abduction) Act, 1805?
Nooo, it predates that by years. Tadnapping 1617.
I knew the frog lied... It was amfibbing.
That starts a cascade... reps tiling and stuff.
Went to the library, but each book: "reddit".
[nights] How long have you been a frog?
(Tuj) He isn't; he just works in France.
Nobody works in France, unions are too strong.
That much is true - Vive Les Syndicats! Ouuraaah!
I'm not sure 'Ouuraaah!' qualifies as a word.
Ouuraaaah! Graaooohuuuuu! Meeeeeaaaargh! Blauauauuaauor! Mooooooooooooooo! Chchchchchchchchaaaa! aiergiiiiii! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooooooooooooooooow!
Now now Graham the third - that's just silly :-)
Have we tried any poems in this format?
Ouuraaah is a word - it's a French word.
'Cocorico' - French equivalent of 'cock a doodle dooo!'
(nuits) Et ça veut dire quoi, ce mot?
[Rosie] I think it means "hurrah", if memory serves.
Oops, I didn't count [Rosie] as a word!
"To Kokoraki" is Cock-a doodle dooo in Greek...
"To Hokeycokey" is to prat around while drunk.
Phil a raison. Moi, je me couche maintenant.
Eight-worders in French don't count here. Try encore.
Dyma wyth gair yng Nghymraeg. Cyfieithiad ar gael.
Don't they? News to me. I'll try again.
What's been happening here while I've been away?
People were asking where you had got to.
Who were those people? I was not one.
If not asking then certainly were probably wondering.
Sssssshhhhh! He's back.
[CdM] Shush yourself! You're out of line, buddy.
[pen] So, sue me, you conformist person you.
(That was only eight words by accident.)
I think rebels always want to conform, really.
[Darren] I was one of the people that was wondering ....
(Chalks) I thought you knew everything about everybody.
[Rosie] Are our details all filed away somewhere?
(Tuj) "Filed" is not quite the correct term.
"Severely chafed" would be a more accurate term.
This is all getting rather abrasive, isn't it?
When the going's rough, the rough get going.
Roughage get you going, that is for sure.
Especially Italians, for Milan is on the Po.
[Rosie] Too devastatingly amusing to follow, I fear.
To fear amusement is to devastate Rosie's followers
We have nothing to fear but Rosie himself
[Phil] What then does Rosie have to fear?
Failure to make fearful those who fear him?
That's too oxymoronic for this time of night.
Isn't it pleonastic? Or self referential? Arrrrgh... brain....
[pen] It looks more like pyrex to me...
Now I think of "Pyrex of the Caribbean".
The earth moved for me, alone, last night.
(pen) So when will you actually be buried?
Not for a long time yet, I hope.
But did you notice the earthquake at all?
Not for me. I was away in Brussels.
I slept right through it. I was tired.
I slept through You and Yours. Tiredness irrelevant.
We've all slept for the last three days.
We are sleeping the sleep of the just.
Sleep of the just what? Just plain lazy?
Just downed ten pints more like for Rosie. ;o)
Alas, those days are well in the past.
Alas for those days passed in a well
Not the only thing passed in the well.
This has been a really lazy Sunday. Nice.
I had a lazy week. Work tomorrow =(
I shall have a lazy week; work tomorrow.
Chick pea Moroccanese with prunes and bacon tonight.
Warning to keep clear of the ladies tomorrow?
How come beer doesn't get the same warning?
I detect a certain deceleration in this game.
The deceleration is proportional to the retarding force.
There are certainly some major retarding forces about.
Effort should go into moving forward, not back.
Right then, let's everyone get out and push.
One, two, three, push! One, two, three, push!
It would be helpful to release the handbrake.
OK, who's got the handbrake? Let it go!
I think there's something wrong with the clutch.
Never mind the clutch; put it in neutral.
(looks underneath) wouldn't some more wheels be helpful?
There's enough of us, just lift it up.
Where's the Anthill Mob when you need them?
That's no way to talk about the Chinese.
"Huh heh huh hulk hulk. Penelope's gonna die..."
(well you try rendering cartoon chuckling in text...)
That's not a very nice thing to say.
[pen] - how can one be rude nicely, then?
Just taype it heah in a naice eccent
Why do you need to say it anyway?
The Grim Reaper always has the last word.
No he does not. Not by any standard.
That was just my favourite Anthill Mob line...
It's no good quoting movies at me. Heh-heh-huh-hulk-hulk.
I've only just noticed your new Dutch name.
I know I shouldn't, but that brought sniggers.
[Tuj] Sniggers will always be Maragon to me.
Wasn't Sniggers the one that famously "Played Pop"?
[ISP] Doesn't Sniggers contain chocolate, peanuts and caramel?
Stobbit. You're making me hungry. What's for dinner?
I'm sure Alf Stobbit played for Middlesbrough once.
Actually, I believe a Stobbit saved Middle Earth.
I need to mention Eddie Stobbit, but how?
Doesn't he name all his lorries after laddies?
Are you in the right game, old bean?
Old bean: astonishingly unsuccessful precursor to Old Spice.
Old spice: rejected geriatric member of girl group.
It's about time I said another eight words.
These aren't the words I was thinking about.
Shurely "These aren't the words you're looking for"?
But you cannot possibly know Kim's innermost thoughts.
Your Mum cannot possibly know Kim's innermost thoughts!!!!!!!!
Stage Managers do not make tea. Ever. EVER.
Your Mum doesn't make tea ever!!!!!!!! Annoying already.
I have two words for Tuj: "Your Mum!!!!!!!!"
[Quenders] When can I have the other six?
[Tuj] Where's the "-ers" diminutive from, regionally speaking?
(Quenders) It's not regional but rather upper class.
[Rosie] Ha! It's just from Test Match Special.
(Tuj) I suspect it has publich school origins.
I suspect I've Germanised a certain word there.
My mum used Germanised on my grazed knees.
Grazes, burns, spots and pimples, who needs 'em?
Dorothy: Grazes and pimples and burns! Oh my!
Rhett: Grazes? Pimples? I don't give a damn!
(pen) Frankly ma'am, your insouciance utterly astounds me.
Are you people still stuck in your eight-words-in-a-move rut?
[CdM] Nobody has really noticed I don't think.
[CdM] I don't do it deliberately any more.
Quite accidentally, this consists of eight words precisely.
I don't believe that it was an accident.
In fact, I suspect you of treachery. J'accuse!
My surname is Hughes but I'm not Jack.
And I can say it's not Yosser either.
It wouldn't be, bcause I can't even yoss.
Don't worry: the Barber of Seville couldn't barb.
And Field Marshal Montgomery didn't rearrange the countryside.
And General De Gaulle was much more specific.
And do spin doctors really repair industrial centriguges?
No, they just correct other people's typos, Rosie
(pen) So why didn't they correct mine? Bastards!
Then would that mean witches have spell checkers?
Are programmers in favour of metric weighing systems?
Journalists should be carved up with a hacksaw.
Weather watchers should be tested for their mettle.
Weather watchers should test their seaweed every day.
She sells sea shells on the sea shore.
Shut up the shutters and sit in the ...
Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pepper corns.
However, the sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick.
Not guilty then. The Leith police dismisseth us.
But please note, I'm not the pheasant plucker.
Tuj, are you the pheasant plucker's son then?
And will you always pluck the pheasants 'til .... ?
The pheasant plucker comes. No, the job's crap.
Has anyone noticed? The weather has improved, slightly.
It improved, yes, but then deteriorated a bit
Just as I read that, the sun appeared.
...... and then went in again. Tomorrow be warm.
Saturday: warm; Sunday: warm with showers; Conclusion? April.
I got a slight sunburn on Saturday, cycling.
I also caught the sun on my nose.
That is some hooter you must have, mate.
[Rosie] tee hee hee heee heeee chuckle chuckle
You should know, Rosie, you have met it.
Hooter? I thought that it was Humph's walrus?
The Softwarian schnozzle is normal, more or less.
I had cheezbrgr for lunch. It was yours.
(pen) That's impossible. I had already eaten it.
[rosie] i am inzide you, eatn ur fud.
(pen) You realise that makes you a tapeworm?
Loltapeworms? Now there's food for thought. Or not.
"im in ur bwls, pokn my head out"
*is not really appreciating the fake textual terminology*
[Chalky] I concur with your sentiments entirely, m8.
Ah well. Who's up for a Sonnet? Anyone?
Would it not be insanely hard to do?
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Or something that's a touch less plagiaristic?
(Chalky) Thou mayest. I am dull and sweaty.
The scansion's fine thus far, but whither rhyme?
Scansion is normally more withered than rhyme here.
So, shall we try for a sonnet then?
Is this a task too difficult for us?
Have we changed to eight word questions only?
Let's boldly go where none have gone before
Let's seize the day and take no pri-son-ers
Steady on. This is getting a bit dynamic.
Great struggle makes this battle worth the more.
(That literal boldness was not what I meant.)
We'll fight the fight in full-blown clichéd verse
And sweep the field of sceptics and faint-hearts
For those who dare to sabotage our quest
Onward, Morniversal soldiers, marching as to hostility scenarios.
We shall reserve the keenest of our darts.
Our foes shall quake at our felicitous constructions.
With poisoned tip to quell such vile unrest
So wage we our campaign for well-spun lines
Our weapons primed with language, form and wit
The straitness of our measure shows the signs
That we are really like up for it
(That scansion's foul; let all avert their eyes!)
Resolved we weave a fitting end to it
(If I count right, the final couplet's here:)
If I count right, the final couplet's here:
(In afterthought, my thought seemed well to fit.)

Let's boldly go where none have gone before
Let's seize the day and take no pri-son-ers
Great struggle makes this battle worth the more
We'll fight the fight in full-blown clichéd verse

And sweep the field of sceptics and faint-hearts
For those who dare to sabotage our quest
We shall reserve the keenest of our darts
With poisoned tip to quell such vile unrest

So wage we our campaign for well-spun lines
Our weapons primed with language, form and wit
The straitness of our measure shows the signs
Resolved we weave a fitting end to it

If I count right, the final couplet's here
To doubters - we have writ what we hold dear

Thank you, Raak, for believing - that was fun :-)
OK - fancy poetry's done - time for a chat?
[Chalky] Thank you for the dance, fun indeed!
But that last line, it has nine words!
(The last line of the sonnet, that is.)
[Quendalon] God is perfect, but we are not.
On the other hand, "we've enscribed" would fit.
[Raak] Perfect. I rushed and spoiled it. Sorry :-(
Can you do a haiku, then? Three separate lines, mind: no cheating.

Syncopating this
Is indubitably tough
Like making pancakes.
[pen] Not bad! But I meant three lines, each of eight words...
[CdM] I did think about that. How can eight words be squeezed out of five or seven syllables, unless you speak broad Yorkshire? Go on, show me! :oP
I am the tall bloke. That is me. In proper Yorks. accent becomes, I'm t'tall bloke, that's me
The poetry is great, please stick to eight!
Well, at least I broke the octofascistic hold for a couple of moves there. There is hope for you all yet.
Four feet per line makes all words short.
All work no play makes Raak dull boy?
Oh no, not another very difficult poetry game.
(CdM) You have repeatedly trampled octofascism to death. :-)
[nights] Do I detect a weary situational acceptance?
Hard thought is good play for the mind.
Doesn't anyone have eight pithy words for Friday?
We get the day off, in three days.
Let's skive off now for this week end.
The Bank Holiday will be a total washout. Like colonic irrigation.
We have no bank holiday here in France.
The sum shone all day here, no rain.
Some nice weather in Holland, where I stayed.
Day off? My next is seven weeks away.
Sun and Mon had much rain and wind.
Phil, you work from home - it's a pub
I spent the weekend in wet west Wales.
I bet it was warmer than wet northeast Surrey.
Well, it just reached 12C on Monday afternoon.
penelope, I know. Still no days off though.
Goodness it's warm here. 29 degrees today.
There may be 29, but the third's worst.
The second's quite bad enough for a burn. My burn, nearly a year ago, has healed completely.
Quite so, Rosie. Meanwhile, it's Monday, and now...?
[pen] ...for something completely different? I like maps.
(Tuj) It's good to meet a fellow cartophile.
Yeah - the map thing - even when I was young I always needed to know where I was. Sorry - have I broken the 8-word thingy?
Maps rock! Satnav is so crap it hurts.
(Chalky) Not at all, m'dear. Pretend you're CdM. Ooh, get 'im.
[Chalky] Careful. It ain't easy to pretend to be me.
[CdM] Yes, I find that a problem too.
Rosie's last two comments have been somewhat cediemulant.
Maybe so, but this one is satnavophobically Philoconfirmatory. (Tuj) V good, BTW.
Try switching it off and on again, Rosie
I did. It's still James Naughtie wittering on.
Should we switch MC5 on and off again?
I really don't understand what's going on here.
And yet, here you are. How very peculiar.
[FGZstar] Strangely, I think that's almost a prerequisite.
Its raining again from where I am standing.
Are you standing on a cloud then, Software?
It could be that he's having a slash.
Rosie's explanation would better stand up to scrutiny.
Eeeeeuuuuwwww. Not something I'd like to scrutinise, really.
[penelope] Especially not when it is standing up
In that state "rainfall" production is largely inhibited.
It is certainly hard to disprove that statement.
Goodness, I leave for five minutes, and look...
The eight word rule restored? Or something else?
Been away for ages but now I'm back.
I told you it was an addiction, mate.
I held off for four days. Cold turkey.
I went on holiday for a week. Returned.
Not the most popular of games, is it?
It has its moments, perhaps this is another.
Damn. I think I blinked and missed it.
I think that should be blunk, like wunk.
An ant and antelope are after an annulment.
Is that because Ant and Bee hooked up?
I thought that Ant hooked up with Dec
Everyone did - "all hands on Dec" they said.
I thought we were in Jun not Dec.
Yes, we are but not for very long. Clearly this is the Department of Great Thoughts.
So, Tim is out, better luck next time.
[Softers] Your Automatic Wimbledon Comment Generator needs updating.
I wonder if the rain will stop soon?
(Softers) There will be real rain today (Wednesday).
Twelve hours of the wretched stuff so far!!
Don't care. Going to Holland tomorrow, my birthday. :o)
It didn't rain Wednesday at all over here. :o)
We did have a brief shower on Thursday.
Cold and wet in Scotland all next week.
Come on, people! Think of new games!
I know! Each move seven words long!
[CdM] Thirteen words it is you want now then? Yoda speak I like then...
Those aren't new games, just a rearranged version.
To a connoisseur, each number is completely different.
Seven is good, six is better.
I've said it before: it's eight for me.
Yes, quite. It's an octal base for me.
Six words good! Seven words baaaaad!
But five is even better.
Four is plenty.
3?
Whither syntax?
Gone.
( )
i2
This is ridiculous. Let's get back to business.
y?
I'm with pen. Not in the biblical sense.
Ah! So we have a writer amongst us.
I haven't contributed for rather a long time.
Have your knees been playing up, old chap?
The quick brown fox jumps ...to be continued...
.....over the fence and exuberantly shags receptive vixen.
We've now moved to nature study I see.
One for sorrow, two for joy, eight for...?
...the hell of it? Makes sense to me...
I've just made mushroom soup. From mushrooms. Yuk.
(pen) More details, please, particularly regarding the yuckiness.
The soup was delicious. I hate whole mushrooms.
Why does turtle soup contain no whole turtles?
It would be too easy to mock them.
And they don't fit on the soup spoon.
Tried terrapin soup? a nipper in a dipper
I prefer alphabet soup. It's educative, quite literally.
What ever happened to traditional Brown Windsor soup?
Soup's off, dear. Want a nice prawn cocktail?
Soup's off? Did the tanker not turn up?
If the soup's off, there is always Spam.
There is very little nourishment in junk emails.
There is very little nourishment in Spam either.
Very little intellectual nourishment in here right now...
Well, I did watch University Challenge last night.
Were you able to answer any questions, though?
I just like hearing the words "Jesus - HUGHES."
This intellect seems to have halted the flow.
To halt the flow you should take Imodium.
Depends. It could be an incontinence pad, perhaps.
Or Luciano Pavarotti. Oops! Wrong kind of Tena.
Oh dear. It has all gone downhill, innit?
It is easier going downhill than uphill.
Quite so. Gravity has much to answer for.
Gravity is such a drag. Let's lighten up!
Pen - I can not imagine you in drag.
My impression of a woman is quite convincing
Oh dear, dear, penelope. Who told you that?
[Phil] Your boyfriend, wearing pink shirt and earrings.
Pen, you must have had years of practice.
Let her tell us precisely how many years.
Are you all still holding your collective breaths?
I'd rather be holding yours, to be honest.
Rosie, you seem to have developed a lisp.
Yeth I have, and I'm only thixty-five. Geddit?
I thought that I said lisp not limp.
References to limpness will be treated with derision.
Dr. Peabody's Best Derision, one shilling a bottle.
At that price I'll take a dozen, please.
Useful when listening to politcians on the media.
This post has exactly the right number of
Come on, come on, I hate the suspense
...words necessary to pass muster in this game.
Is that all? I was expecting a revelation.
You'll find quite a few at the back.
Does anyone here recall Blue Jam? Quite extraordinary.
No, but I've a jar of blackberry jelly.
(nights) Can you play C Jam Blues, though?
If you can whistle it, I'll try to.
Here it is: Woohoo, -, -, woohoo, woohoo, Woooo Hoo.
Hmm. May be beyond my musical capabilities. Sorry.
Switswoo, la-di-da, switswoo, switswoo, switswoo swoooooo bum bum.
I believe penelope is speaking in tongues again.
What do you expect? It's probably Double Dutch.
It was an Edith Piaf song, Padam Padam.
Ah. I see. Well, very nice, pen. Yes.
Gosh, it is October already. How time flies!
And a new week! Eight Monday words, anyone?
"this, queen, eldritch, lemming, towers, quell, mensch, trauma"
That sounds like a rather promising plot outline.
I, am, fed, up, with, my, job. OK?
Isn't imparting knowledge to others is very fulfilling?
Perhaps you could even teach Rosie about syntax.
Oh dear! So much for the Whoops button.
I was having a bad day. Better today!
Better now indeed. It's the weekend. Laundry looms.
Sorry, pen; what the hell are laundry looms?
Pen, I know what you mean. Laundry. Ugh.
I love ironing. Is that a bit freaky?
Not at all, Pen. What iron've you got?
"Iron've" is an unusual word. Iron've iron've iron've.
You can come and do my ironing, pen.
Steel yourself and cast ironing to the winds.
Teflon plate with sports suspension and steam boost.
Cool. Mine's a rear sidewinder with overhead underhangs.
Mine's a pint. Ironing's just a necessary evil.
A pint of steam? Is that all? Wuss.
It's all right for you, you're a girl.
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard, Softers.
[pen] There's something very Mainwaringesque about that line.
Sorry about that. I was in bossy mode.
[pen] So much for your girly side, then.
Words to the wise. Girly side *is* bossy.
That's the most tautological statement I've ever heard.
Do you want me to tell you again?
Oooh! I like it when you're dominant, pen.
I don't think that was what I meant...
Well, if you don't know, we certainly don't!
I knew none of you knew, you know
We'd like to know if you know, though.
Anyone know if I know what's going on?
I'm not sure. How much do you know?
he knows more than he's letting on. maybe.
I really don't know what's going on here.
It's all on a need to know basis.
I don't wish to know that, oh no.
I think Tuj's real name is John Major.
Who are you calling Major in here, Rosie?
[Rosie] That's hard for a twenty-one-year-old to take!
Fair enough, I never fancied Edwina Curry either.
Nor me, but maybe she's a good shag.
Change of subject. My, what a gloomy weekend.
I appear to have lost a vowel somewhere.
I expect you left it on the train.
[Rosie] Less likely if she has a care.
pen is without a care, not a car.
[Rosie] Are you implying that pen doesn't care?
Quite right. I don't. Off to Holland tomorrow. :D
Auf wiedersehen! No, wait... Bon voyage? Hang on...
Pen? Have you come back from Holland yet?
Yup, back, but 'flu. It stole my holiday.
Football, though, steals the brain, which is worse.
Flu abated, hacking cough, but still off work.
I'm always off work but have to attend.
I do not recognise this thing called "work".
Come now, chaps. Are you lost for words?
Buy me a couple of pints, I'll talk.
That wouldn't get you far in Guantanamo Bay.
Eight words. Beef pie, carrots, cauliflower, gravy. Yum.
Rosemary foccacio, terrine de campagne, raw fennel.
I must have been trying to cut down.
I have a hunger for some proper paté.
Bray's farm pork pies are the very best.
Are they Irish pork and dioxin farm pies?
They insist on only the very best dioxins.
One should always insist the dioxins are organic.
Can Flash Gordon really save the financial world?
What makes you think he'd be so inclined?
Flash! (crash) Ah ah... Saviour of the universe.
My final week at work... demob happy, wooohoooo!!!!
Luck in the Land of Wooden Shoes, penelope.
Words for the week between Christmas and NY?
"The December Sales" is their most prominent feature.
"All Month's Now Available At Knock Down Price's."
Free apostrophe every time. Whether 'needed or 'not.
Those free radicle apostrophes seem to get everywhere.
So, how is everyone finding the new year?
I looked down the back of the sofa.
The revelations of that practice can be horrific.
There's a menthol sweetie down the back of mine
Actually, I'm finding the New Year rather chilly.
It's warmed and wetted up a bit now.
Boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, boxes, junk.
Arrived. Semi-unpacked. Jeez, where will it all go?
I reckon penelope needs a new dutch name
"Peneloopij" might provide something like the right pronunciation
Thank you very much. That's just marvellous. Not.
Geen probleem peneloopij, al deel van de dienst.
Intrigued newcomer wonders: is this a clique? Click.
Nah, jump in. Tell us your trivia, Fogey.
(Fogey) Welcome, unless you are older than me.
Does that mean elder's are not welcome, Rosie?
(Softers) Nor larch's, oak's or baobab's either, chum.
Does that mean no cricket Ash's this year?
Hazel yews's birches to remain poplar and spruce?
That reminds me. I've tree writing to do.
Oak aye. (This is my first attempt here.)
I got sunburnt on a beech in cypress.
Rowan a boat on Windermere made me sycamore.
Fir goodness sake, this is getting very silly.
Ivy privet opinion that it's acacia running joke.
No snow talk in here. That's a relief.
The rain will wash away the heagonal crystals.
The nights are beginning to draw in now.
Oi! Not from where I'm standing, they're not.
Are you are removing your winter drawers already?
There must be a spring in her step.
I'll have a word with the Windy Miller.
A Dutch word or an English word, eh?
It doesn't matter. Neither will make much sense.
How about 'wainscot'? English, but with Dutch origins.
Wainscot sounds like a place in say, Oxfordshire.
Goodness me! The sun is actually shining today!
Furthermore, it is visible from the United Kingdom.
(Except for viewers in Scotland, who don't count)
Neither do they in BBC TV weather forecasts.
BBC weather forecasts show weather in the Netherlands.
Ah yes, but is it any better, pen?
No, it's usually worse. Probably get more rain.
Sublime rhyme, "weather in the Netherlands". Whither Neverland?
Neverland? Repossessed by the bank, mate. Hard Luck.
Rain and wind... I have to go out :o(
That's bad luck, the sun is shining here.
What? Even for the global tax avoidance mob?
The sun ALWAYS shines for tax avoidance mobs :o)
But they have to stand in dirty business.
Are you all currently saving up your words?
I am naturally laconic, despite the Cambrian influence.
Every word counts in the current challenging climate.
I thought words were cheap. What has changed?
A change is as good as a rest
Has anyone talked about Twitter in this game?
I don't think so. Should we start now?
I don't know. Is anyone tweeting us yet?
Is this game now "Eight Words A Week"?
Wasn't that an early song by the Beatles?
Did we resolve the Twitter issue at all?
[Software] Yes.
I'll Twitter on here. Is anyone actually interested?
By current activity, no-one will even notice, Pen.
Maybe St George will, its his day today.
On St. George's Day, I went to France.
On St Patrick's Day, America goes to pieces.
On St David's day the Welsh take a leek.
I made lemon cookies this morning. Utterly delish.
I couldn't resist a tasty inverted equilateral triangle.
Did you have custard on it, Rosie?
I was indulging in smart-arse mathematical symbolism.
I See. In France they have Triangle Amande.
Are these the last eight words here ever?
Is the Pope a bear in the woods?
What's more, does His Holiness approve of picnics?
Once upon a time there was this guy.
He became station announcer at Bristol Temple Meads.
He announced the Second Coming, but no-one listened.
A man walks into a pub, now laugh.
He should have looked where he was going.
[Rosie] Now, and just now, did I laugh.
It seems possible to cause mirth on Tuesdays.
Shall we try again tomorrow? It'll be Wednesday.
Does "it'll" count as one word or two?
It it does we both used nine. Whoooops!
Where's the Southeast England Severe Weather Event, then?
I woke up to rain, was that it?
[nfras] I think contractions've always counted as one...
....thing pregnant women would rather not think about.
Ah, yes, but prevention is better than cure.
Ten days is too long without eight words.
That's true. Where have you been then, pen?
Eindhoven, the Neunen watermills that Van Gogh painted.
Shall we continue our discrete dalliance here, pen?
So discreet, I failed to notice it, sorry.
You really know how to hurt a guy.
I trained long and hard for it, Softers
So that's why you ended up in Holland!
Yep, he was the last handsome man standing!
I feel disinclined to disturb this tender conversation.
[Rosie] You may've shattered the illusion of seclusion.
Phew, it's not just me and him anymore
If I can't see you, you're not there.
Either that, or I'm a master of disguise.
It could be dark or foggy. Those polders.
"Polder" rhymes with several other words. Like "older".
Coincidentally, I read what a polder is today.
Coincidentally? I wonder if that is really true.
So true. But then what is the truth?
[Rosie] As opposed to purposely looking it up?
(Knobbly) Er, yes. Maybe I should trust you.
Another week passes by without anyone making comment.
Perhaps it's the end move for this game.
Shall we put it out of its misery?
I think we'll miss it when it's gone.
What to do with these spare eight-word sets?
Pair them up in a sixteen word set?
Melt them down for use in other sentences?
Sell them to call centres as Good English.
Eight is too many for call centre operatives.
Anyone been watching the tennis? Short discussion mind.
No. Short enough?
Andy Murray? A loosing Scot, not winning Brit.
Brit? The word is 'Briton'. Briton! Briton! Briton!
Someone else using 'loosing' when they mean 'losing'
Perhaps he was adjusting his tight jockstrap. Geddit?
Damn spell checkers. They do not understand me.
The spellchecker has no problem with "Brit", though. :-)
The spellchecker is wrong. 'Brit' is an abbreviation.
Yeah well, Brits always say that. :-)
I think CdM is shortchanging us, don't you?
Too right. We demand ALL our words!
I have still got plenty sets of eight.
If life seems pretty rotten, there's something you've
Verboten? That seems to fit. Try again, Knobbers.
Another week has passed by; still no progress.
Not strictly true, Softers. We survived another week.
But to what end? We are but transients.
We eagerly await next week's exciting instalment, Rosie.
The Exciting Adventures of Rosie! This week: PERIL!
What's the excitement in a misspelt washing powder?
I prefer to use BALD, or sometimes TURF.
[Rosie] So, what earth-shattering happenings have outdone that?
Any ideas what to do with a Wednesday?
Hang onto Wednesday for two days. The weekend!
Can we bring Wednesday forward by one day?
That would make it Tuesday, would it not?
The Germans, calling it mittwoch, would be confused.
New news. Our ancient canary died this morning.
Oh dear. I don't know what to say.
A relief really. Poor old thing. Dun Tweeting.
penelope! Get out of the mine now!!
The sad demise of the first web-savvy canary.
Canary's demise may be due to summat else.
Maybe the canary should have quit smoking sooner.
Not a good week for canaries at all.
But a much better one for Colchester United.
[Rosie] We bask in their reflected glory. Ha!
What can one say about these Essex boys?
Use words of one syllable, whatever you do.
OK. Oh, that's blown it from the off.
What a shame you got that wrong, pen.
Another month has passed. A month nearer Christmas.
[Software] A month further from some of them.
Distant Christmasses. The present ages, the gifts go. wha?
[pen] I'm confused. Would you care to elucidate?
[Knobbers] I'm rambling without the right boots on.
Shurely there are no mountaineers in The Netherlands?
Is it all right if I play here?
Of course, provided you promise to be nice.
Hi PaulWay. Is it Friday where you are?
[PaulWay] You should be warned that people disagree about how this game should be played as well*

*More precisely, I come here and behave obnoxiously
Well, one person does. Could be two now.
...some half-hearted hyphen discussion too, though hardly contentious!
Have we discussed bracketed comments on here before?
Yes, and we decided that they should count.
Looks like there are revolutionaries in our midst
Kill them, that's what I say. Kill them!
It's Guy Fawkes Day every day in Leicester.
Leicester sounds a bit cheesy to me, though.
[Softers] Then it follows that they're communist revolutionaries.
Leicester is precisely twice as cheesy as Gloucester.
How do you able to conclude that, Rosie?
Are you referring to my cheesy humour, Rosie?
You need to double Gloucester to make cheese
North South East West Hearts Diamonds Clubs Spades
Tuj, what's that got to do with cheese?
(Phil, Software) I really meant half as cheesy.
(Rosie) You should post more caerphilly next time.
Frankly, I really do not give an Edam.
Good, because I was only shooting the Bries.
Remember that marvellous cheese game from aeons ago?
Aeons ago? Even I am not that old.
I think we'll be the judge of that.
Can I detect a tiny hint of ageism?
Ageism is unrealistic. There'll always be an earth.
A good earth is important for electrical safety.
And critical for good carrots and healthy parsnips.
I've heard of Electric Prunes but never evegetables.
And there are battery hens and Steam Nuts.
Are your battery hens rechargeable? How's it done?
Electrodes up the bum. Well, you did ask.
We have slipped from vegetables to torture methods.
Not at all. This is but benign revitalisation.
A bit like stringing beans, or chopping carrots.
I vote we kill off this dying game.
Do you not have any heart left, pen?
I've got some liver, if that's any good.
Sausages for dinner tonight, I could spare one.
Personally, I like sweetmeats and all other offal.
You can have mine, although they're already chewed.
[pen] Shurely you never had your own sweetmeats?
Two! Four! Six! Eight! Please do not self-immolate!
Why shouldn't I? This room is bloody freezing.
Because there'll be no-one to poke the fire
If I poke the fire I'll be electrocuted.
[Rosie] Do you not have a pet, say?
That is cruel unless it's an electric eel.
Is battery still cruel, even for electric eels?
Fish from my local chip shop is battery.
I bet they overcharge for it too, Rosie.
Fish and chips for tea tonight. Hurrah!
+ 'Yummy'
(Softers) Yes, but there is too much anyway.
Only two more days in Blighty before home.
Does that mean you are going Dutch again?
Nope. Fish and chips is very, very British.
Well, yet another week has passed us by.
And thus, a new week begins. What fun.
Yes, it's Monday, which means Big Band rehearsal. This is getting like Twitter.
HAI GUYS, I'M HAVING A POO! PLEASE RT!
Oh my. That certainly wasn't what I expected.
That's because you're a lady, so I'm told.
I thought that we were being Twitter. Sorry.
Don't worry nights. Any more bowel movements yet?
This game pre-dates Twitter, doesn't it? More, nights?
Nope, I've finished being stupid now. Thank goodness.
Bowel movements are one of life's simple pleasures.
A bit like stealing your neighbour's newspaper, apparently.
What, the Daily Mail? Associated with bowel movements.
Sorry, was irritated that my Libération was missing.
That just serves you right, you dangerous pinko!
Mwahahaha! Forward, socialist agenda! Sorry, got too excited.
[nights] Goodness me you're excitable! I wonder why...
Perhaps because it's nearly the weekend. Good news.
Indeed. I'll bake a thousand mince pies tomorrow.
Pen, I believe that a thousand is exaggerating.
OK, 900 is more accurate. They're hungry here.
Baking!? Surely they have M&S in Southern Dutchland?
More seriously, can you get Robertson's mincemeat there?
[INJ] Bet she makes her own. Goody Two-shoes.
I know. I hate those who out-Christmas Christmas.
Bzzzt! First "Christmas" mention. Defcon level two (/eight).
Mince pies? Yuk! Fruit cake and pudding? Bleaurgh!
Do you sell more beer at Christmas, Phil??
Christmas beer is really very good here. Mmm.
Beer is very good everywhere, except keg stuff.
But Beer in your keyboard definitely isn't good.
[penelope] Oh yes, yes, yes, very much so!
I hope there's beer in my Christmas stocking.
Wouldn't it stick all the chocolate money together?
Beer, chocolate and stockings, everything a man wants!
Actually INJers - not many women would say no :)
Sounds like a winning Christmas to me, guys.
Is it time to sing Christmas carols yet?
[Softers] No no no no no no NO!
Thank goodness for that. I don't like them.
"While Shepherds Washed Their Socks By Night", anyone?
Adeste fideles, laete triumphantes, venite, venite, in Bethlehem
Shouldn't that be "ad"? Or is that commercializing Christmas?
Don't criticise if you can't count to eight.
Two, four, six, eight. So CdM is innumerate.
*filthy spoons alert* The Whore's Bed Carol swings.
CdM's not been playing by the rule throughout.
We cannot put up with this consistent non-conformity.
Certainly not. Some sort of action is needed.
*looks innocent*
Oh no you don't, CdM, you treacherous scoundrel!
He may have the face of a cherub.
But he has the heart of a devil.
Perhaps we could nominate a translator for him?
Tuj, I think that got lost in translation.
Your fluency in Dutch has overwhelmed you, pen.
Underwhelmed more like. I have another lesson tonight.
From the Windy Miller? What sort of lesson?
One-to-one proper Dutch lesson, cancelled because of snow.
It's snowing again. I'm fed up of this.
I still love snow! But I don't drive...
Snow? You can keep it. Give me sun.
*yawns* Can we talk about something else please?
"Able acrobats aren't always adept at aquatic athletics"
But belligerent boxers behave better befriended by ballerinas
Competitive combatant cum chassé-champion combination? Complete cobblers!
Drawn-out deliberations decide delinquent débutantes' diatribes don't deserve...
Every energetic element easily emits energy each evening.
Five fresh-faced foreign fishermen found Folkestone fairly frightening.
Girls giving Greek guys gonorrhea generally go ga-ga.
Happy Helen helps her husband have his honey.
Incredible ignorance ignites indifference into implied imagined insults.
"Japanese jurisprudence justifies jailing Janis Joplin," jokes Jung.
Kindly Kurd Kirsty kissed kinky kipper killer Kelly.
Let lovable land-locked little Lesotho lure lager louts.
Moreover, most morniverse members mention many miscellaneous matters.
No nay never - Ner ner ne ner ner!
Onomatopeia obviously offers one option, only obscuring others.
Peter Piper poked people's pets, producing pitiful protestations.
"Quit Quake quickly?" queried Quentin, queuing quite quietly.
Roger Rabbit reckons Rebecca Raccoon's rear requires rogering
"Stop sniffing, Stephanie!" shouted Sister Sally, scowling sternly.
The through trains to Taunton tend to tardiness. (Chalky) Ace filth, m'dear.
Umpires' union uniformly unites unemployed umbrella undertakers, unusually. To be fair, U is not one of the easier letters.
Victor vaunted valueless Valentine's votives - vainly: Valerie vomited.
When? Where? Who? What? Why? Women worry wearilessly.
Xhosan Xavier's xanthous xenogeny, xylographer Xerxes, x-rayed xoloitzcuintles.
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Phil's effort*
xoloitzcuintles? What a distracting word! Looks vaguely smutty ;^)
Yr ydych yn ysgrifennu yn yr ystafell yma.
Hidden text = You are writing in this room.
 Someone have a go in English.
[Rosie] I'll take your word for it. Bravo!
[Audience] Thank you
[Rosie]"You yellow Yankee!" Yasmin yelled yesterday. Yves yawned.
"Zounds!" zithered zany Zaza, zeroing Zog's zesty zeal.
Well done, Raak, for not mentioning Zinedine Zidane.
Zizou? I 'ave never 'eard of eem. Zut!
Alphabet been completely done? Exciting fresh gauntlet heaved!
Hidden textanyone fancy taking on bcdefghi?
Blair carelessly disseminated equivocal facts garnering headlines internationally.
Hidden textcdefghij - is the next one
Could dear Elizabeth Fry get herself in jail?
Does elocution fusspot get huffy in Jamie's kitchen?
Ever fancied getting huge implants? Just kidding, love.
Furry gloved hands intend just kindling love, mother.
Ghastly Harry's in J.K.'s latest magic novel.
Having impressively jointed knees lets me navigate outlandishly.
I just knew last Monday's netball outcome. Psychic!
Jeremy Kyle legitimises me nodding off pretty quickly.
King Lear? Midsummer Night? Othello? Please quote regularly.
Let Midsomer Norton's older parishioners quit robust sex.
My neighbours often peek quietly 'round some trees...
Note our Prince's quirky royal standards, tremendously urbane.
Obama's persuasive questioning requires sceptics to uncover venality.
I just keep laughing, mocking niceties of play, quite regularly scorning to use VIII words
Hidden textL'esprit d'escalier makes me wish I had prefaced that with: Ah, but CdM decries eight fetish gleefully, hence...
[CdM] Disappointed that you didn't rise to the challenge of the XYZ full house...
People quaffing really strong tequila unfortunately vomit woefully.
Quite right. Strong tequila upsets, verified with x-ray.
Really sloppily, Tuj uses only four sequential letters.
This game has lost its momentum, it seems.
Well, it never really had much forward velocity.
It tends to come and go, in waves.
In that respect it seems to resemble desire.
Desire for carnal conjugation or for something else?
Perhaps for street cars, they have forward velocity.
The old Croydon trams had little of that.
Are there any famous eight-word quotations out there?
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
By definition that's surely seven and a half ;)
"Elementary, my dear Watson"
You are four words short, my dear Holmes.
Would nine words make this game more popular?
Twelve and a half percent extra? Who knows?
CdM seems to like it at any length.
Having a dirty mind, I'd say that's libellous.
Due to inflation, every move now has nine words.
All right then pen, I'll go along with that.
This introduces a whole new dimension to the game.
I find it requires a bit of extra thought.
I thought that we were still in a recession.
Perhaps we could think our way out of it.
I doubt Gordon Brown'll be around much longer
Why is that, FGZ, are you planning an assassination?
No, Software. Your last move was too long.
Au contraire, matey, for nine is the new eight. See above - confusingly, we've got bored with octality.
I graciously concede. Let us all embrace the nonality!
I don't like it, sir. Not one little bit!
[Phil] Come on man! We must all embrace change.
I agree with you entirely. Neuf est tout neuf.
[Rosie] Moi, je dis huit "Oui"s à huit. Oui?
Please could we revert to English? I'm confused.
I'd be delighted if we reverted to eight words.
I now agree, and here is the proof.
I concede I found nine a bit odd.
Nine *is* odd. That's the nature of the number!
We want nothing to do with perfect squares.
In botany, "perfect" means both male and female.
In human biology, perfect is an impossibility
Well there's perfect, and then there's too perfect.
Let us not mention the Footballer's Perfect, then.
[Rosie] There's an oxymoron if ever I saw
(Chalky) There's blood everywhere if ever I saw.
And so some more blood has been spilt.
This game is starting to resemble a slaughterhouse.
He mocks the Morniverse. Off with his head!
I mock it not. Anyway, a bank holiday
What we really need is a Bankers' Holocaust.
Is that quite similar to a hung parliament?
What's the Footballer's Perfect? Can anyone explain it please?
"The referee's given a penalty". Should be "gave."
Has given = correct. Has gave = incorrect. Rosie = tired? :^)
Octoverbal constraints, m'dear. I'd say Chalky = wind-up merchant. :-)
Time for a change of subject I think.
Does anybody fancy talking about the World Cup?
Oh God, not that. Please. Anything but that.
I am gratified that your response is so.
Good bowling, good tactics, too many South Africans?
Have we stumbled into a different world series?
In Football, New Zealand qualified. Scotland didn't. *sob*
I really like football but I've had enough.
I never really liked it to begin with.
I'm sports loopy! But I keep quiet here.
Mostly I keep everyone else quiet too *sigh*
That may be true, but does it matter?
Does anything matter? Why are we here anyway?
We are here to make eight words each.
Speak for yourself.
Oh, don't you start.
Oh not this argument again!
Clearly it is.
Come, come, Morniversers and let's stop pissing about.
[Rosie] Isn't that exactly what we're here for?
It might be why you are here, Tuj.
We must piss about in an orderly manner.
[Rosie] Surely that is an oxymoron, isn't it?
Not necessarily. Think of it as Bounded Chaos.
Complex, seemingly random conversations that actually have patterns?
Nine has four sides; it's both male and female.
Mine has four sides; it is mostly male.
[Rosie] Are you sure that's the right game?
Does it matter so long as we play?
Yes, let's play the game, no nit picking.
Knit picking is just what I do, though.
If you pick nits, it means you remove lice, right?
No, you may just choose them. Restoring the 8-word average.
[Rosie] How do you expect me to choose?
Anyone for eight concurrent games of Cheddar Gorge?
Shall I lead? Dear Sir or Madam; Please
find enclosed an affidavit from His Excellency, The
Most Delectable Lord High Milkman of Chesterfield, who
is
currently undergoing treatment for a condition that may (CdM) Predictable.
, under certain circumstances, lead to a considerably worse
state of economic decline in relation to the
Milk Marketing Board's recent disastrous adoption of the
zloty than even the most zealous and hardline
members of the communist party (North Cheam branch)
would have believed possible, and I therefore request
That this game of cheddar be concluded immediately.
Well, that was fun, but rather too easy.
How about eight concurrent games, to end simultaneously?
{Raak] an interesting concept but probably quite tricky.
Especially if each "row" must also make sense.
That's actually what I suggested. Worth a try?
Yes. Here goes: There are three different ways
For some people that have strange ideas about
Making their way through the narrow supermarket aisles
[4]"Beware the tungsten death aardvark," said the man,
who was leaning against the stack of pineapples.
brought from the tropics only two days ago
seafood from there is not safe to eat
as the oil spill is out of control.
I guess the full stop means it's finished.
Shall we continue as before, making frivolous observations?
Why don't we start a new consecutive Cheddars?
I think that's a good (but cheesy) idea.
I like cheesy flavoured food, especially real cheese.
Spray cans do not have that original taste
You are not supposed to eat the can.
Let us start a new topic of conversation.
My computer wants to eat my sister, Giertrud.
My sister seems to be sure of this.
Are you two related? Do you share sisters?
[penelope] They may not but I do sometimes.
Giertrud is my younger, and very weird, sister.
I am playing with my sister's dog, Woofles.
Don't forget that the computer is very hungry.
That means the computer wants a Big Mac.
Stand Back! I'm raiding the office biscuit tin.
Feed the ginger nuts to the computer, pen.
I try, but the mouse gets them first.
Well, pen, what you need is a cat
A coarse-furred and fearsome beast called Boris, say.
Boris, is that like Bluto from Popeye cartoons?
That image is going to stick with me!
Bluto was a pussycat really, so to speak.
Yeah, he had to play soft for Olive.
Your olives are soft? Cooked them too long!
I think Giertrud started with the double entendres.
Today is an august occasion, last of many.
Don't be so Septemberish. Think of the autumn!
We now have Rs in the month again.
Also numbers in Latin. August should be Sexber.
I'm confused. When would my birthday be then?
(pen) January or February? Then Undecember or Duodecember.
Today's 90210. Did you watch Beverly Hills?
T'was only 90210 in America... Day first, please!
American's had 9/11, we had 7/7. Avoids confusion.
But 7-11 is a convenience store. Free slurpees?
'Slurpees'? Now who is on the double entendres?
Actually, today in Britain it's 8/9/10 - that works.
I only know "slurpee" as a cold drink.
Sounds more like one at body heat (coat!)
Body heat, 37 degrees, Taraval, Parkside San Francisco
Don't they use Fahrenheit scale in San Fran?
Maybe he means cold-blooded creatures such as fish.
You mean Shion Sono's new movie "Cold Fish"?
>I have never even heard of this movie!
I've heard of the movie called "Catfish," though.
Plus, I have also heard of "Big Fish."
'Big Fish' are only ever figments of imagination.
Yes, my mate never caught a thirty-pound carp.
What's that Rosie? You do nothing but carp.
I perch, being a Norwegian Blue, albeit dead.
I goldfish. That is, I fish for gold.
I hake. Hall over. It's the Harthritis. Houch!
I kip, therefore I must be a kipper.
I've just had my shoes soled and eeled.
I hear sea shanties. Must be someone's Icod.
Speak up, Rosie, my herring's not so good.
(Softers) Surely you can still hear the bass.
(Rosie) No, mate, I have a bad cod.
Maybe you need the drumming of Max Roach.
Ah, Fish puns, fish puns, roly-poly fish puns!
I dolphin-ately am enjoying this bit of luna-sea.
Isn't it a great song, Salmon Chanted Evening.
Another song beckons: Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
[Phil] It's neither the time nor the plaice...
Maybe it's time to get our skates on.
I'd better take my mackerel I'll get soaked.
[Porter!] Even if I'm accompanied by Colin Sell?
Not even John Dory would make any difference.
I think Nemo would take offense at these.
Not even eight words all weekend. Why not?
Perhaps there has been an overtime ban, pen.
Overtime schmovertime. There's always eight words to spare!
Feel free to borrow any of these ones.
Right, I will go for a "feel" then.
Good man. Do not bypass the gentlemanly preliminaries.
Software, somebody might want to "cop a feel."
Perhaps someone'd also like to feel a cop.
Yes, certain people like a bit of helmet.
Well, I think that can't be capped, Rosie
Could be if it were a welfare benefit.
Also if it spouted oil, thus aiding lubrication.
Or played cricket, rugby or a sitting-down game
Or were getting on in years a bit.
You and me, Rosie, but what about others?
Don't worry. We're getting older all the time.
'There's no turning back' said the forward thinker
Stopped clock is right two times a day.
What's the time being we do things for?
Has anyone got an idea for a game?
Pheasant. A very tasty game.
Oh bugger, mixed up haiku and eight words.
And too bold, too bold, too bold! Arse.
And there isn't even a haiku game here.
Except one with word count: eight, eight, eight
This game is very good. Carry on chaps.
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