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Each Move Must Consist Of Precisely Eight Words
help
Just as it says on the tin. What happens in the game may be debated in the game: perhaps it'll be a conversation, perhaps a word-limited reprise of various games we play, or whatever.
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What flavour? Ferret and coriander? Goose and bubblegum?
I prefer bratwurst or maybe cheesy Italian kielbasa.
Pen, does not Albert Heijn stock Toulouse sausages?
Not the little stores near me. Helaas, nee.
How can anyone be marooned on the continent?
When ones native island country cuts itself adrift?
Hee hee hee hee Brexit hee hee hee
Three-day week for me, sunny weather coming up.
Rosie and I have a seven day weekend.
This is true - thus TFI Friday is meaningless.
Who's F, and why T them at all?
We're on Version 16. I hate editing sometimes.
Version sixteen of what, may I please ask?
[pen] Call it version 2 of version 15.
Fooled myself with versions 7.1-7.9 to avoid V8!
The history [yawn] of the business [yawn] school.
Like "Hogwarts - A History", the book nobody read?
(And don't forget to slip a few "innovations" in.)
I've worked way too many hours this week.
As long as they are all paid hours...
The state and BP pay all my hours.
Anyone know where I can buy some spats?
Other than a spat shop, I can't help.
Maybe on Park Avenue in New York City.
Or Jermyn Street. Who needs spats these days?
Someone planning a vacation back to the 1920s?
I thought a spat was a violent disagreement.
Are spats worn in the present, called spits?
No, they are in fact called an affectation
I do fine with my paw print galoshes.
So what are galoshes, exactly? Oshes for gals?
Does that mean the existence of ladloshes, pen?
I think it could be galoshes and galohes.
Ex Irish gal'o'sheas: "woman of the Shea clan".
Hot enough for you yet? [Southern hemisphere exempted]
No. I need thirty-six for a new record.
Blimey! I hadn't realised LPs cost so much!
Did anyone here ever collect Green Shield stamps?
I collected cartoon stickers for comic making books.
I collected engine numbers, some of them prime.
Train spotting! I used once to enjoy that.
I find your word order rather unusual, Duj.
That is because I'm an unusual chap, Rosie.
Train spotting is an artistic form of graffiti.
I last spotted a train at a wedding.
Don't trains usually get married at marshalling yards?
No, Simons Mith, they are measured in yards.
Yards of ale sound like very big drinks.
They are barometric units like inches of mercury.
Important safety tip: Don't try quaffing the latter.
I think it would pass through you unchanged.
As long as you don't inhale the stuff.
Even Bill Clinton didn't inhale the stuff, allegedly.
Old presidents never die, they just stop inhaling.
My dog's got no nose. What comes next?
A tragic inability to differentiate odours. Poor dog.
One could also say "How does he smell?"
Pen, you need to take that dog back.
I mean, it's still under guarantee, isn't it?
I was merely alluding to a favourite joke.
(From my childhood, obvs. I'm more sophisticated now)
What's brown and sticky?    Entertainment for dogs. Fetch!
At least you took the high road, Bool.
Lo! Roads and beaten tracks are for losers.
Imagining pen careering downhill on her mountain bike.
Difficult, given the planar nature of the Netherlands.
Could it be she would go flat out?
You can't ride a bike with a flat.
You can't ride one in a flat either.
I find the Flat Earth Society rather odd.
They say they have members around the world.
Rather odd, Duj? What is really odd, then?
There are levels of oddity, 'rather' is one.
'Really odd' means the opposite of even; true?
Covid is getting to you. Take it easy.
Really odd or very odd or extremely odd?
In quantum mechanics, are there degrees of "Oddity"?
I think there are in BBC wildlife programmes.
Only one in space programmes, according to Bowie.
Combining wildlife with degrees there's always Bill Oddie.
Bill, I think, has always qualified as "wildlife".
Sometimes I wish *I* had a wild life.
Pen, methinks wild lives are usually grately overrated.
Maybe. My dog retrieved a dead rat yesterday.
Was the rat dead before the canine intervention?
I have a very painful canine right now
I should take him to the vet pronto.
Or, perhaps, if one is closer, a dentist.
The rat was deceased, no more. And mummified.
Is it really appropriate to mummify a rat?
Maybe it volunteered - seeking paradise in rat afterlife.
No! In my mind 'Ratty' will never die.
Was it a female rat? Was it NefRATtiti?
Hard to say. Shrivelled genitals. More like NosfeRATu.
May Zarquon save us all from shrivelled genitals
He certainly did the job with Buster Gonad
Was everyone taken aback by that last one?
I thought it was a load of bollocks.
*Looks aghast, askance at Bollockbar and faints, faintly*
That's it, penelope, hit 'em where it hurts.
Friday afternoon. What a shocker of a week.
Here, have a cup of tea. Do you good.
This is just to balance the pile. (Sorry, Superman, but it had to be done.)
A dog pile? I sometimes have that, literally.
I have no idea. What's 'a dog pile'?
Is it a carpet made of dog hair?
It is Radar and Niblet on my lap.
I'm still none the wiser. What's that about?
You ought to know this, pen - they're pets.
Niblet and RAdar can make little barking sounds.
Ah. Mine's 'Chip' after potato, not the microprocessor.
Not a peep since Monday. Is everyone OK?
Busy week. Too much work. Please send cake.
Belgium will start lockdown again on Monday. Wonderful.
This was announced on the Friday evening before.
Break it! (You've broken the eight word rule...)
[Pablo] That was two eights, you steaming nit.
Two eights still break the eight word rule
[Boolbar] Wilco. I'm in need of cakes myself.
Did someone say cake? Is it a home-bake?
Certainly is. We’re in bake-down here, not lockdown.
I am craving a Victoria sponge right now.
Just had a digestive biscuit, hits the spot.
There are no limits to your dietary adventurousness.
I made fudge.
[CdM] No, you have fudged. There's a difference.
And the difference is those five missing words.
[Bismarck] Penelope shows the double-move loophole, exploited correctly :-)
[pen] I've consistently rejected this game's fascistic octoverbism.
(CdM) A false claim, alas, given your last contribution.
There may be only eight things worth saying.
[Rosie] Moves can be eight words by accident!
What's happened to the cake? Where is it?
(CdM) Only if their numbers have Gaussian distribution.
(Pablo) Consumed. There'll be more in good time.
Good time. Walnut cake with cream cheese frosting.
Sounds delicious. I'll make do with mince pies.
I found two mince pies in the fridge.
How did you resuscitate them after cryogenic freezing?
That is not dead which can eternal lie...
I saw the first snow of winter today.
I just finished a year-old box of paklava.
Upcoming first trip to London in 10 months.
Socially distanced Tantra, Titian, Artemisia, Gesualdo, and Sin.
Are you okay Raak? I'm just slightly worried...
[Pablo] Relax, he's gone all ...arty on us.
The excitement of my life knows no bounds.
As does a kangaroo standing in super glue.
Which made me laugh out loud - cheers Boolbar
Actually, I haven't had any mince pies yet.
I've just been sent four in the post.
A week to go. Start on the booze.
I think I've just finished working in 2020.
I finished working a long time before that.
So did I. Pass the bottle opener, please.
I need to find a new job. now.
The Bluebell Railway is looking for engine drivers.
Hidden text(KS) Can't quite see you on the footplate but I hope you find something soon. Being jobless is bad news
I've 11 days work to go in 2020.
I finished work for the year last Friday.
All this talk about work makes me thirsty.
I fancy a little bit of cheese: Wensleydale.
I fancy a lot of cheese. Port Salut.
A little bit of bread and no cheese.
Are you trying to give me the bird?
[Softers] Just a pear tree. With no partridge.
The first eight words of 2021 have arrived.
I hope they don't include "Brexit" or "Covid".
Covid Covid Covid Covid Covid Covid Covid Covid...
Covid Covid Covid Covid Vaccine Vaccine...A MUTANT!
We must burn down more five G towers!
I don't think 5G towers are very combustible.
You have to fire a Qanon at them.
So what dreadful news can we expect now?
Trump declares an emergency and suspends Inauguration Day.
The Covid vaccines prove fatal in three months.
A deadlier virus escapes from the Wuhan lab.
The Earth's magnetic poles begin to flip over.
Aliens arrive, who see us only as food.
All the bees die and no-one knows why.
Jesus returns, takes one look, leaves in disgust.
Wolves, raised in a laboratory to superintelligence, escape.
Antinatalists release a virus designed to sterilise everyone.
India and China have a brief nuclear war.
Skarl the drummer ceases to beat his drum.
Waitrose, Sanderstead, have run out of blackcurrant cheesecake.
Iä! Iä! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
Putin annexes the remnants of India and China.
Trump and Putin get into bed together. Literally.
Putin annexes the Waitrose cheesecake aisle in Sanderstead.
Has Armageddon arrived while I was not watching?
"And I saw, and behold a white horse."
Raak, how many coffees did you have yesterday?
"And the name of that horse was 'Binky'."
Alas, the coffee runs out, the vision fades.
I'm quite exhausted and it's only the 15th
Try retirement, like me and Rosie, you know.
I'm remodelling my home office. Another 17 years...
That's got to be a blockbuster movie, Raak.
I like reruns of the Blockbusters game show.
Do you watch it by renting the video?
"I'll have a P please Bob" *Guffaws memorably*
Well, nobody has posted since penelope nineteenth January.
Pen's memorable guffaw has quite simply destroyed us.
Sorry about that folks. Now I'm straight faced.
Friday at last. Any giggles to be had?
Friday? Is it Friday, Rosie? Just another day.
Haha! Haha ha haha ha. Haha ha... bonk.
I must find an aisle to roll in.
It's Saturday, for all the difference it makes.
Bonkbonk! Bonkbonk bonk bonkbonk bonk. Bonkbonk bonk... ha.
Can anyone help Tuj? Or even want to?
Sexual frustration in males (I assume) is terrible.
If you've nothing useful to say, try surreality?
An ox in shott or head of leather?
One is the result of the other...
A game of consequences. Life's like that, innit?
Feeble attempt at County punditry * .. whoosh - over heads*
Got the punditry but had no worthy retorts.
Yup I need to cease conjuring wordgames from nothing
Some friends and family are understandably disowning me
Not over my head, Chalky. Keep it up.
Yesterday, a joke went over a friend's head.
We move in elevated comic circles. What fun.
Let's drop our standards and go dirt low
Bleed'n' 'ell, I fought you was a lady.
We'll let that roll off into the distance.
Balls roll well when the ground's not frozen.
Surely even better when the ground is frozen.
Especially those balls belonging to a brass monkey.
The weather has now taken a warmer turn.
I thought the heat was just my age.
Eighty in the shade, pen? Don't believe you.
Am I eighty in Fahrenheit or Celsius? Important!
And how does that translate into dog degrees?
Dogs always have masters, never bachelors or PhDs.
[pen] Applau, applau, applau, and one more applau.
Dogs are much better educated than I'd thought!
How well did you think dogs were educated?
I thought they mostly stopped with obedience school.
The purebreds on to Barking and Dogenham College
Long old day. Had enough. Turning laptop off.
In the transhuman future, laptop turns you off.
[Raak] You're a ray of sunshine today. *Click*
Sunshine does not come out until the dawn
And in most of Britain not even then.
What comes out in Britain is best avoided
English winter ends in July; recommences August. (Byron)
July in Welsh is Gorffenaf, "end of summer".
British Summer is a random week in May.
The hay fever season is February and March.
Louisiana fall is a random day in winter.
Would those all be things that happen... outside?
Bismarck, how long since you saw real daylight?
Well, not since that accident with Uncle Vlad.
[Bismarck] I think you got away with it.
Sometimes the inside is nicer than the outside.
This is indeed true of ripe juicy pomegranates
But not so true of secretly rotten potatoes
Speaking of rotten, hello everyone; I still live.
Stands Pittsburgh as of yore? Good to hear.
Dr Q - the man who knew .. techie stuff :^)
The Guy With Compupter Know-How - a great song
Those words nicely fit The Eton Boating Song.
Today I have The Rage. Nothing shifts it.
(Apart from hurling work laptop out the window)
I heard that defenestration is all the rage.
(pen) Are you French? La rage is rabies.
[Rosie] Mais non otherwise I'd speak in italics.
That would be a most interesting sound, pen.
You have to lean in to hear it.
Only when you're masking your discernible Tuscan dialect
[Chalky] Surely pen would speak in double Dutch?
Single Dutch is difficult enough in my experience.
Is a Swedish accent able to help anything?
Bork bork? Bork bork bork! Bork bork. Bork.
Borg borg? Borg borg borg! Resistance is futile.
In that case try capacitance. Much more elegant.
Agreed. Nothing like ingesting a few good farads.
Don't try it. A farad is absolutely huge.
Quite so, Rosie, but perhaps Pablo is electrolytic.
Some Henrys would make good farad ingesters.
Ingesting farads is just taking the Michael surely
Are farads nice served with a hot sauce?
[Bismark], Those are the cutest vacuums I've seen!
Farads do go well with a warm tesla
We haven't had eight words since last week.
Well, pen, I've got a new digital piano.
I thought all pianos were played with fingers.
They can be played with anything. Ask Liszt.
I play mine with a glass of cabernet
Both of ours when the neighbours are out
Have we run out of eight word topics?
Hardly, m'dear, there is much more to come.
Why are the voters of Hartlepool so stupid?
I don't know. Perhaps they just lost hope.
Hartlepool minus "h", "o", "p", "e" equals artlol
It could equally be interpreted as "a troll".
If they are anything like residents of Hooterville . . .
Is Hooterville the American equivalent of Ambridge, possibly?
This fist's takin' a one-way trip to Hooterville!
I have absolutely no idea what Tuj means.
I think Tuj wants to punch somebody's nose.
I thought it might be about Hooters restaurants.
[Bool] Ta! Didn't have the word count to
[Tuj] Yes, this eight word limit is rather
restricting. Is that what you meant to say?
[Softers] I think you've hit the nail on
The Head of Octology is not amused, unsurprisingly
[Rosie] Not really. It's a much sillier place.
An hour of Dutch conversation class. About Eurovision....
I have absolutely nothing to say about that.
There's no point to the Eurovision Song Contest.
An opportunity to indulge in mocking. Useful, surely?
Not when everyone else takes it more seriously.
Especially with the UK up its own arse.
We must keep up our nul points record!
You must be a supporter of Sheffield United.
I must stop finishing every glowworm. Bad habit.
This world does not have enough glow worms.
Hidden text I remember the first time I ever saw glow-worms which was in the USA somewhere near Cleveland and it was quite magical.
Glow worms are larvae of mosquito like flies.
[Rosie] No - oddly enough I'm often in Sheffield
Apparently there's a Sheffieldstraat in Rotterdam. Joins Glasgowstraat.
How on earth do they pronounce them, pen?
There's a Sheffield Road in Rotherham, as well.
Naturally. They are only a few miles apart.
Every South Yorkshire town has a Sheffield Road
Is that Yorkshire for "Every cloud... ...silver lining"?
Just checking: everyone had ice cream this week?
Not me. I'd rather eat nice juicy berries.
[pen] I indulged myself with an Oreo cornetto.
I ate lots of cookies, not ice cream.
For those that haven't, I had two yesterday.
Ice cream? I think I prefer a beer.
For your sanity, do not mix the two.
But, Frozen Pints sells Craft Beer Ice Cream.
Nothing would persuade me to buy that stuff.
Watching online graduation ceremony, end of week treat.
A treat but only up to a degree.
*clap clap clap clap clap clap clap*
That's a clap you owe us, CdM mate.
[Pablo] I guess CdM got rather clapped out.
I have a reputation to uphold.
Never mind. Gives me a couple extra to use here.
Surely the wordcount is not a transferable quantity.
I've just borrowed eight words for use later.
Roadworks outside my home office. No peace anywhere.
Ditto. Although my home studio is out back.
You mean you have to commute to Australia?
Out tonight. First time for 18 months. Wahoooooooooo!
Well go on, do tell (if you're back)!
Colleague moved nearby. Scones and tea au jardin.
My friend can't come see me this weekend.
Would it be terribly intrusive to ask why?
The statement begs the question in a forum.
She was not feeling well, so stayed home.
I think I got away with it. Hurrah!
No side-effects from second vaccination. Am finally double-Pfizered.
[pen] you did better than me with that.
Although that makes me wonder if it's working...
Weekend, folks! Plans? Good newses? Positive check-ins? Hurrahs?
Baroque concerts (hurrah!), taiko class, artistic composition class.
I loafed, ate chips, made jam, did ironing.
Loafed? A latter-day term for "ate bread"?
I've been double Pfizered. Felt blah next day.
[KagS] Good that you're done. I Pfelt Pfine afterwards.
Still three 'narf weeks 'til my second course.
Despite having had Covid, second jab also taken.
My jabs have matured, going to France tomorrow!
[pen] well done. We're in France in September.
I wouldn't touch France with a barge pole.
I wouldn't touch Poland with a French baguette.
An overbaked baguette is a pretty fearsome weapon.
But the penne is mightier than the sauce.
"Vermicelli"? Stringed instruments infested with rats, I'm told.
Pentre bach yng Nghymru yw Tal-y-ban.
Food crime: stabbed with a piece of Parmesan.
[Rosie] Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu yng Nghymru wgah'nagl fhtagn.
(Raak) If you say so, my good man.
[Rosie] Are you channeling Bluebottle, my good man?
(pen) Not consciously, m'dear, but as I heard it all first time round it could be in there somewhere, along with lurgi of course.
[Rosie] I guess that you have been sponned.
Yes, but I haven't fallen in the water.
[Rosie] Three moves at once. That's so Bohemian!
(Bools) Four, mate, positively Moldovan. Please keep up.
Dunno about you but I'm ready for autumn.
Are you feeling mellow and fruity, dear lady?
Harvest-fattened and mellow, if that's what you mean.
Should we interpret this self-assessment with satire?
Actually I've lost weight. Dog walking, smaller portions.
So your husky has shrunk in the wash?
No, I usually wear a Barbour for walking.
I walked to the barber two days ago.
So did I. And I regret it now.
Was the barber in Blaenau Ffestiniog or something?
[Rosie] Are you thinking of Shaun the Sheep?
[Rosie, penelope) Or quite possibly Shorn the sheep?
You will be slated for those remarks, ladies.
Always enjoy being recognised as a lady, Rosie :^)
Which definition of 'slated' Rosie? Uk or US?
(pen) UK. 'Twas a joke.. I dunno.. 'Dwn i'n gwbod.
[Rosie] I see. I'm Google Translate's best customer.
(pen) Cymraeg o'r Gwgl? Paid! Pentwr cachu ydy.
L' y'a longtemps qu'jé n'vos avais pon veu.
Colloquial Welsh is one thing, colloquial French another.
Ark at ee - out west's a proper job
I'd do colloquial Australian but no-one would understand
Ooh, I dunno, we've all watched Monty Python
All? Are you absolutely sure about that Rosie?
I can't help it if you weren't born.
Surely everyone knows about the dead parrot sketch?
T'was on the TV by the exploding penguin.
Penguin and parrot will be partners in mortality.
And dictionary neighbours, along with pangolin and panther.
Back to Blighty tomorrow. Mother's 80th. Family reunion.
Back home. Three days of cake and champagne.
Back on the lettuce and water diet, pen?
Were there any problems with the Covid passport?
None at all. Only Stena asked for it.
Terribly overexcited to see the fun continues online.
(nights) Reassuring isn't it? Great to see you
Builders building at eight on a Saturday. Sigh.
Lucky that you can find bnuilders since Brexit.
That's a huge finger you've got there, mate.
I only wish they were building for me.
nights, have you thought of selfbuilding with Lego?
That sounds like a dodgy euphemism to me.
Dodgy euphemism or not; a Lego house? Nah.
I dunno - tiling must be cheaper with Lego?
[Pablo] If you're only 18 inches tall, sure.
[pen] I am - I was struck by a lift
[Pablo] Oh. I was struck by a thought.
I hope you struck back with characteristic feistiness.
Happy New Year, Eight-word-smiths and all the others.
Happy New Year, let's hope it really is.
One week in. So how's it going, folks?
Not so good. My wife broke her foot.
Ouch. Limping along then. What about everyone else?
Feet are unbroken, but not a pretty sight.
[pen] now I have Covid, so not good.
Feet are mullered, but new insoles on order!
Mullered? Didn't know you were a German footballer.
[Softers] Bummer. Hope you don't get it bad.
[pen]how to compare? My throat was sore.
Hope the Covid afflicted are on the mend.
Still have a cough and feeling very heady.
How's everyone doing? Keep taking your vitamins, folks.
The best vitamin for remembering things: Vitamin B4.
Is that 'B4 I forget to take it'?
And more certainly B4 the best by date
Hurrah! I have tested negative. Hope it's over.
[Softers] Was that an LFT? Don't count your chickens...
[Pablo] Yes, three in a row, fingers crossed.
Hoorah, outbreak amongst colleagues. Obsessively testing daily, then.
Clear blue skies, sun shining, Friday. Deep joy.
Anyone want an NFT? Go on, take two.
(Bismarck) I must refuse because I can't funge.
I always thought fungible sounded a little racy.
Fungible - is that like mushrooms? I hate mushrooms.
*Cries and hides away in some moist woodland*
Fungible means "like a bogeyman" - so I'm told.
Is this someone who continually picks his nose?
If I could pick my nose, I'd choose...
Well I certainly wouldn't have chosen this one.
I would not have chosen that one either.
Michael Jackson picked his quite a few times.
Did he use a nosepick? Like a toothpick?
Colleague bought chocolate croissants. Return to office - hurrah!
Retired, one has to buy one's own cakes.
Still working from home. No sharing my chocolate!
Working from home alone four days a week.
[penelope] Chocolate croissants? A flogging offence, here, surely.
I believe they're export-only. Not for domestic consumption.
Or better to call them pain au chocolat?
With my coffee I had ginger cake today.
Had my first coffee of the year today.
You'll be needing more around half past October.
Nothing would happen in my classes without coffee.
Nothing would happen in my coffee without glasses.
Your week in eight words, I'll go first.
Cancelled trip home, booked another, still no rain.
Saw last half of “Tove”. Trains to blame.
Looking at lovely weather outdoors while working inside.
I'm a workplace agony uncle now, it seems.
Covid visited for ten days then thankfully left.
[Nights] Surely here's safe to share it. Do.
[pen] Kind, but this is my happy place.
Happy but difficult. I'm stumped on limerick lines.
There was a young lass here called pen.
Well that fails to help MY stumpedness, Rosie.
Who lived in a mill on the fen.
Eight words on a third line? No way.
We should try French. Full of silent letters.
She baked a vleestaart / van struisvogel en hert
En serveerde het met eieren van een hen.
Saturday morning snow. Not ideal for going marketwards.
We had a good snow shower here, too.
It was a bright cold day in April.
Where? Not here in Sheffield I assure you.
A story in eight words by Augusto Monterroso:
"When he awoke, the dinosaur was still there"
But the Spanish original is in seven words.
May the Fourth be with you, of course.
The fourth word of this sentence is "of".
The eighth word of this sentence is "anything".
The ninth word of this sentence does not
I contend that that is not a sentence.
The first rule of Fight Club is that
I've better - the secret of happiness is simply
Wait! Bismarck! Is there something important you wanted
I've never really got this game because everyone
[Chalky] Be like me. I don't give a
I'm from the police and I'm here to
One more cup of coffee can't hurt, eh?
Not with the sort of posts we're getting
There have been no posts for ten days.
There, two posts in just two days, wow!
The blind man has been. We have blinds.
I see, but perhaps the artisan does not.
That depends how well he drew them, innit?
If it wasn't for blinds, it would be...
...easy to see what the neighbours are doing?
...curtains for all of us, obvs. Oh dear.
You lot really are all a load of
Brilliant minds, as Phil was about to say
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