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Each Move Must Consist Of Precisely Eight Words
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Just as it says on the tin. What happens in the game may be debated in the game: perhaps it'll be a conversation, perhaps a word-limited reprise of various games we play, or whatever.
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Robot Men! Rob me not or entomb trombone.
The trombone makes a very good water pistol.
In any case I'm better at the piano.
Aiming a piano is harder than aiming trombones.
Seventy-six trombones. Hundred-and-ten cornets. I rest my case.
I thought there was just one cornet. Oh!
(Tuj) There is, as I said on Tuesday.
Good grief. My iPad works in the loo.
Not only that but you've acquired a capital.
I was enthroned at the time. Quite appropriate.
Yes, even Her Maj must have a crap. V good, BTW.
Anyone got owt interesting to say about February?
February : Rub Faery. Be a furry. Bear fury.
Best month: sort of has "brewery" in it.
Even better, it has my birthday in it.
You still won't be as old as me.
What happened to that Twix I just bought?
I had traffic jam at breakfast this morning.
Strawberry, apricot, and gooseberry, layered in the jar.
I find "pen's Twix" very difficult to enunciate.
What a murky February day. Not much fun.
Yes, it is even trying to snow here.
New Year's Resolution not to drink remains intact.
You must be extremely dehydrated. Saves weeing, though.
I'll watch the windy miller teach weather tonight.
I spent most of today doing the ironing.
Yesterday, I watched "O Brother, Where Art Thou?"
Yesterday I painted walls and ceiling - 2 coats
Two coats? Turn the heating up a bit.
Dutch reflexive verbs in the 'past perfectum' - aaaargh.
I shall counter that with - "Welsh prepositional mutations".
It's either too many or too few vowels.
Ancient Greek: Aorist tense. Middle voice. Such fun!
(pen) Actually it's all to do with consonants.
Have just eaten proper, tangy, British cheddar. Delish.
How can cheese be like a mathematical operator?
I don't know. How can it, Rosie? (joke?)
Hello folks, I still exist. That's all really.
Del is a mathematical operator, among other things.
"Number please?" Is that what you allude to?
Even the cheese is holey like a zero.
Will this holey cheese freeze at zero degrees?
Zero is just an eight in a belt.
Haven't you got that precisely arse about face?
Finally have spring weather, which means April showers.
It seems our spring skipped the year again.
I have discovered the delights of lunchtime hiking.
I have discovered the delights of lunchtime lunching.
I have discovered lunches with some delightful hikers.
I have delighted some hikers with lunchtime discoveries.
I've lunched on hikers and discovered they're delightful.
My local café has hiked its delightful lunches.
Anyone got eight lovely words for May? Anyone?
My aunt's middle name was May. Florence May.
Berry, blossom, bug, day, fair, flower, fly, pole
"May the force be with you." Too geeky?
May the Tenth... for lisping campers. (Stolen joke)
Friday post. Three-day Whitsun weekend for cloggies. Hoera!
There was a hoopoe in my garden yesterday
I can't beat that. Saw cranes yesterday though.
Red kites for me yesterday. Yet again. Boring!
Saw peregrines at Lincoln Cathedral today, via webcam.
Today I handed in my notice at work
[NJ] Congratulations!
[INJ] Bold step. What's next, young man? (Apart from making up for other's shortfalls)
[Pen] 'Young man'!? - I'm taking (slightly) early retirement.
Needed eight words. 'Sir', too formal. 'Old', rude.
Hoopoe confirmed as 35th ever sighting in Derbyshire
35th ever bird in Derbyshire? That many? Really?
What exactly constitutes an individual sighting? Serious question.
Oh, come on, you never ask serious questions. :-)
[CdM] Too complex for here - see banter page.
[CdM] So serious it warranted precisely eight words!
I'll use eight words if the occasion demands. If.
Eight words is easy for others. Not you?
I bet CdM thinks he's really cool.
What're the most famous eight words in history?
We will fight them on the beaches. Yeah.
Were you a mod or a rocker, pen?
"To be or not to be? That is"
Body: woman (meek, feeble); stomach: man (hairy, beer)
Four score and seven years ago our forefathers
Let them eat cake, cake, and more cake.
In the beginning were the Words. Eight Words.
The moment one learns English, complications set in.
Please don't say that to a foreign doctor.
Much have I travelled in the realms of gold
He would say that, wouldn't he, your honour?
Mandy Rice-Davies is not quite your type, pen.
Legitimate travelling, or just Bermuda tax domiciling days?
Monday... Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Then... Saturday, Sunday!
Sometimes the weekend should last all week long.
Like each move here's eight words - Eight Days!
OK, done Friday morning. Next: attack Friday afternoon!
Miles and miles and miles of boxes. Help.
Shall I add yet another mile of boxes?
You need some ribbons and bows for them.
Please, God, no. I can't find anything anymore.
Situation critical. Citronella candle keeps going out. Mozzieeessssssss...
Are the mozzies weeing on it or sunnink?
Kamikazi mozzies dive-bombing the guttering flame..... what larks!
I wonder what proportion survive this suicidal megathermality.
Is anyone else watching the tennis? No? OK.
Well actually, I was. I watch much sport.
The people here are turning themselves inside out.
Inside out and falling through ceilings? Sounds dangerous!
What can I say? My workplace is exciting.
Catnip oil keeps mozzies away from your skin.
Isn't catnip oil a Potion of Summoning Felines?
Let's treat this game to some July posts.
Bright sunshine plus "dress down Friday" equals shorts :)
The heat makes me feel like I'm melting.
Here, casual Friday usually means wearing no tie.
Can you get away with wearing no pants?
Ask me again on Friday evening, we'll see.
Do Brits still use "trousers," rather than "pants?"
Yes. And we're always 'Britons', not Brits. Ithengyew.
Many of us use both. Trousers over pants.
Actually, some of us are Brits. But don't tell pen.
Pants are more often undergarments for both sexes.
According to the OED, it's a young herring.
And Brit meaning 'Briton' is third definition down
Reminds me of NOTW and The Sun so...
never use it about myself. Awful ugly abbreviation!
Britons were displaced by Anglo-Saxons. How about Britisher?
[Phil - Bless you!] My shiny new grand-daughter sneezed fifteen times yesterday.
[Chalks] That's almost a whole years-worth in one go.
My shiny new grand-daughter is in New Zealand.
[Software] That's about as far as possible from Jersey.
Six drafts. Now number seven gets underway.
6 drafts? You'r quite a boozer, aren't you?
There's no-one that can drink like our Pen.
If only it was as nice as beer.
Beer absorbed rapidly tonight thanks to prior dehydration.
I am guessing you don't need a humidifier.
A toilet might be a good thing though.
Let's treat this game to some August posts.
Eheu fugaces labuntur anni! Is that august enough?
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose
I Fort Augustus was a town in Scotland.
Another day. Another eight words. C'est la vie.
Wedding anniversary tomorrow. Must remember to visit shop.
Why not try a restaurant? Far more congenial.
Dinner, washing-up, then out for coffee and dessert.
That strange foreign custom - going out for afters
Because it's so expensive to eat out here!
[pen] My french relations do pud and coffee out
Makes sense. Low-fat, low-cal firsts, sweet indulgent afters!
Who's going to give the next eight words?
I solemnly predict that it will be Rosie.
Right. But then immediately wrong again. Tough luck.
One simply cannot win against this fiendish wench.
More predictions: how many words in CdM's next?
And when the next comment about infrequent commenting?
No-one knows all the answers. How can they?
They simply bribe the examiners with propelling pencils.
Oh Wednesday, Thursday Friday, hurry the fuck up.
So, shagging only at the weekend, is it?
No, dear Rosie. I'm sick of being office-bound!
Better than being egg bound one might suppose.
Monday morning office-bound after a weekend outdoors. Ugh.
Life has a predictable cyclic quality, eh, pen?
Certainly does. But no cake today. Cycle fail. :o(
Cake today, I've been promised. My favourite word.
Cake is nice but I prefer the cheeseboard.
Had a nice Ardennais cheeseboard last weekend. Tasty.
You will never make a convincing xylophage, pen.
And you are getting better at pedantry, Rosie! :oP
I think pedantry is a bit cheesy, frankly.
I don't have eight words to spare today.
Neither do I. What a very spooky coincidence.
I've got plenty but I'm a stingy bugger.
Garden centre has Christmas grotto open. Bah humbug.
I'm full of fish, chips and walnut whips.
Fish have scales, therefore a well balanced diet.
Maps have scales and therefore play the piano.
Logic dictates that maps show rights of weigh.
But do they show the rights of Kurds?
Back to England on Thursday. Overnight ferry again.
You do spend lots of time on ferries.
Concerts, birthdays, etc. And it keeps me sane.
Today is my birthday, anniversary of my birth.
The North Sea is not all bad, pen.
Back on t'other side of t'North Sea. Raining.
Is it time to call this a day?
Perhaps, But what would would fill the slot?
This in itself is a source of discussion.
Perhaps something with a different number of words?
Any other integer would feel... not quite right.
Perhaps it should not be an integer then.
I'm afraid there's really no answer to that.
"I'm" and "there's" : one point five words each?
Maybe we should play the game in hexadecimal.
Yes, let's. I would only be forty-seven.
And I've got two years till I'm thirty!
Phil, why is your nose growing so long?
Noses run in our family, I've been told.
You should all try and be more phlegmatic.
My finals are over for the semester. Hooray!
My husband is doing housework. I am redundant.
Maybe you could go and take his job.
I'm on a cross-channel ferry. *waves waves waves*
Merry Christmas to all. I repeat, Merry Christmas!
Maxed out iMac. My Christmas present to me.
From me to me: Trinidad and Tobago Rum.
Windy miller got me an iPhone. Big surprise.
A giant purple rhinoceros occupies my living room.
[KS] Is it still there? Are you coping?
It rode home with me on my trike.
It must be on tricyclics then. Bad news.
Well, the New Year is here, same crap.
Yes, my bowel movements continue to be satisfactory.
Said rhinoceros has not moved. I'm okay, though.
Well, that's good news. What are you on?
Planet Earth, as far as I can tell.
My word, what a cold morning it is.
Still a bit light - and 17.22! No, 17.23!
No such luck for us here on GMT.
By Valentine's Day it's still light at 5pm.
That's at yours, not at mine. We're later.
It gets dark at 6pm here right now.
Where's 'here'? Further south than here, I'll wager.
Where's 'here'? Further north than here, I'll wager.
Hidden text51.3186 N
Correct. I'm at 51.9308°N-4.4792°E and four floors up.
I'm between you. 51.516094N, -1.2460551E, on first floor.
Four floors up, pen? Just about sea-level then.
(Phil) The OS places that in a field.
[Rosie] Not on my map it doesn't, matey.
[Phil] I think it does with pen's coordinates.
(Phil) My OS co-ordinate converter is out of date.
[Rosie] 3.069km, bearing 95°21′18″ from work to home
(Phil) Parsonage Green, then? That looks quite nice.
51.31905N, -0.06190E. Points to right house, wrong address.
Hmmmmm, my directions weren't quite accurate enough apparently.
(Phil) Aldworth, then. An error on my part.
Weekend! Rain now, clearing later, I've been promised.
[Rosie] Correct. Great pub. No mobile phone signal.
I have used a lot of goes recently.
(pen) An infinite source, like that of rain.
[Rosie] I'm beginning to believe that you're right.
I appear to have absolutely nothing to add.
Take it way, Phil, or perhaps multiply it.
Now? I was waiting for the division bell.
I've spilt tea down my shirt already today.
Another fence panel down. It can stay down.
Has it got back up again yet, Rosie?
I asked it nicely and up it leapt.
Would that everything rose so readily these days.
With the exception of ground water, of course. not a sentence....
Not a sentence, but a grammatically correct retort.
Now we are in March; how time flies.
Now we are in March there is frost.
What's for dinner tonight? I have no idea.
I'll be having fish from Barton-on-Humber.
I had fish from Ikea. Flat packed flatfish.
A screwdriver rather than a knife and fork?
FOG! What say you about the fog, Rosie?
Fog here stops planes, newspapers and the mail.
The Clean Air Act (1956) has ruined fogs.
Back in the mists of time. Remember then?
The last move was a week ago. Blimey.
Since then I've been to England and back.
I've been to Oxfordshire and back many times.
Isn't Oxfordshire at the bottom of your garden?
A little further. Two miles down the lane.
It's cruel that Berkshire is now so truncated.
True, "Berks" is ugly; it needs its "shire".
I'm definitely in the "shire" part. Hobbits ahoy!
Lost most of itself to Oxfordshire, I meant.
Just the Vale of the White Horse, really.
I used to live in Wiltshire, next county.
So did I. In 1997-1998. Happy days. *sigh*
I'm still in Wiltshire. Sometimes, however, I move.
Some of my children are true Moonrakers, consequently.
I've eaten my own weight in strawberries today.
Is that a, er, very large quantity, pen?
Several acre's worth, so you could say so.
It is my daughter's and son's birthday today.
Twins? Or by coincidence exactly N years apart?
The latter. A bone of contention ever more.
I have nothing useful to say right now.
At least you prevented another boring monologue, Phil.
Easter is nearly upon us. Lovely chocolate eggs.
Mmm! yes, but school hall closed- no Band.
"Four days off" makes me a happy bunny
'Five days off in England' - I'm happier still.
My four will be in England too, pen.
Rosie and I have every day off - retired!
Easter Sunday may well have some shitty weather.
I might mow the cricket pitch on Saturday.
Good Friday. So much to do. More tea.
Still waiting for a call back. Freaking out.
They emailed instead, and the news was good. =)
Farmer is mowing cricket pitch. Four hours saved!
I bet Phil's ruddy grass has grown again.
I noted such growth with disappointment last evening.
We don't have lawn. I dust the gravel.
I never water the grass - makes it grow.
Juxtapose - nice :) My garden has a wooden floor.
Ten days' growth. Still not mowed the lawn.
[Phil] About time you had a shave though.
Well, another Bank Holiday but not for penelope.
Ah, we had Liberation Day instead. Day off.
Is it Libation Day for the boozy Dutch?
Are the Dutch bigger tipplers than other Europeans?
Traditionally, it is what gives them Dutch Courage.
The moon has risen above the trees yonder.
Nice. I watched stars and bats last night.
Stars and Bats? Is that a reality show?
Hot. 25 in the grounds of Plas Huws.
Truck fire in motorway tunnel on route home.
Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger
Got stuck behind tractor. Eight minute commute today.
It took me two hours to drive home.
Last night, only took 1 hour 10 mins
Driving to work this morning: 25 mins. Gutted.
Six minutes almost every day. Including this one.
What is this "work" of which everyone speaks?
I have this thing that is called "school."
I have this horrible thing called 'being workshy'
Another eight words for Friday? Can't be bothered.
First and last day at work this week.
I have started a new game at MCiOS
It's work themed, lest that seem a non-sequitur.
Catching the Blighty-bound ferry tomorrow evening, hurrah hurrah!
Let us all tap our barometers and smile.
Can we still do the tapping smile, Rosie?
Alas no. Tapped mine and broke the glass.
Hidden textLiterally so. There must have been some stress or crack in it before.
I meant metaphorically. I'm all weekend in Zeeland.
Come on England. Three more wickets this afternoon.
England fail - football, rugby, cricket bloody useless, bah!
Why waste time watching? Get outside! Summer!
Get inside! Rain! Bring the washing in quick!
I'm a year older than a week ago.
A year in a week! That's time-lapse, pen. Appy burfdy.
Little pleasure in eight words: beer and crisps.
I mean 'small pleasure'. That meant the opposite.
Beer and crisps, beer and crisps. Beer. Crisps.
I think I'm really ready for a holiday.
Playing cricket on a Tuesday afternoon, in sunshine.
[Phil] Do you still have a job? Nights?
[pen] Yes I do. It's rather flexible though.
Are we running out of eight words? Sad.
Novel octets are
Extraordinarily
Hard to keep going.
I disagree, sir; I find them quite easy.
Blimey! Is this still going. I am amazed.
I've finished making my telescope, the Mk II.
Can you see the pub from there, Rosie?
I'm afraid light travels in boringly straight lines.
Put a black hole near the pub then.
I want to get home again, you know.
Shit or get off the pot. Any more?
Or shall we call it a day now?
That's most unladylike - did you mean the po?
Feminism.
Is that a typo (or 'typot') Rosie?
Kids sit on the pot, adults the po.
There's a fabulous shaggy-dog story about a pisspot.
Unfortunately there are only eight words available, pen.
It starts with a down-at-heel adder, I remember.
Who starts to do much better in life
It sounds like the cue for a limerick
Hang on, you don't know how it ends.
And one of the adder's longstanding friends boasts
that he's known him for a long time.
More details in the next exciting instalment, folks!
Loth as I am to interrupt the flow . . . . .
Go on... and I really hope it's important
Of course it isn't - please carry on, pen.
He knew him from his days of penury
This is an extremely shaggy dog. Enough yet?
Shaggy enough to make a big woolly jumper?
It's not an adder, it's a boa subtractor.
Did that spring to mind at night, Rosie?
For me it was late evening, I confess.
Anyhow, the done-good snake's reminiscing friend evenutally says:
Fun fact- I'm writing this from my PlayStation.
Go on, pen. I'm agog, despite the hour.
"Oh yes, I've known him for so long...."
"I knew him when (this may surprise you)..."
:He didn't have a pit to hiss in."
Tonite (sic) I am going to a jazz gig.
I've written eight words for your reading pleasure!
[Rosie] Well then, eight word gig review, please!
There's a wasp in my office. In November!
Saw two butterflies in my garden only yesterday.
Another unquestionable sign of the impending end times?
(Tuj, belatedly) The New Delta Band played their arses off.
The first eight words of the New Year.
At this slow rate, we'll have summer soon.
Fair old stretch on the evenings this week.
It will soon be my birthday, so there.
They say it'll snow but I've had none.
Me neither but it is brass monkeys outside.
The brass monkeys are queuing to get in!
Signs of spring. You can list them here.
Magpie carrying twigs this morning, from kitchen window
Why do you keep twigs on your window?
For making twiglets. Doesn't everyone have twigs handy?
I used to, but they were pretzel twigs.
I didn't try Marmite until I was 19.
Ma might have been looking after your health.
I hope Mamma laid on alternative spreads instead.
Jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam!
Low fat cream cheese, the sweet chilli flavour.
On bread, I mostly like marmalade and honey.
You and I are as one on that.
Jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam...
I gather you have just left the M25.
Jam, jam, jam, jam, jam! I've grown accustomed....
Amazing things can emerge from extensive jam sessions.
This game seems to have been largely forgotten.
But eight words can bring it to life.
If only we could work out which eight.
I wonder if it is one of these?
OED random word generator suggestions: implex, quickhatch, profligation.
If only I knew what these words meant.
The second is uttered while impatiently awaiting chicks.
The first's the building where Santa's team works.
The last is someone who gives bondage classes.
Should we find another list of random words?
Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.
Random? It seems the monkeys have typed Shakespeare. Er, sorry Raak, old chap.
OED random word generator II: topsoil moellon toughly
Great name for Public House: Pug Pup Pub.
Or how about this one: The Starving Starling?
Expanding on Raak's: 'Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas'
I seem to have stalled three games. Sorry.
Nail gnats, Aesop, or pay apropos East Anglian.
Hidden textCould we make a game out of this?
Big gnat? Small ogre? "Ergo Tango, gnat ogre!"
Hmmm. Re: bum sag - Rosie is "orgasm über"
Known. Ten animals I slam in a net.
Time for another seven words, I suppose.
I can handle posting eight, so can you.
It's taken ages to find the right eight.
I have just found another eight lying around.
Here's three more.
I must find five to make it right.
Ha! Chance would be a fine thing, Phil.
Je suis en le France avec mes amis.
J'ai parlez Francais com un vache Espanol, Oui.
'Dwi'n siarad Cymraeg fel Saeson, mae'n ddrwg geni.
Three words saying it's Thursday? Friday minus one.
Weekend minus two? Monday morning minus four? Yuk!
One, two, miss a few, ninety-nine, one-hundred! Coming!
We must get over this obsession with numbers.
I agree. Let's make it Greek letters instead.
My favourites are zeta, xi, theta and psi.
And I thought you were an alpha male.
Funnily enough, that'th what Catherine Theta Joneth thaid.
Is it lunchtime yet? Did someone mention pie?
Have you got permission to eta pi, pen?
Permission? It's more like Pie et mon droit.
Pun time? If you can't beta them, join them.
One man's meta is another man's poison. Aye.
One man's meat is another man's poisson. Oui.
One man's meat is another man's possum. Beaut!
One man's meat is another man's posaune. Ja!
Hidden textTrombones taste awful, actually.
Have you tried eating troms off the bone?
And chase it down with sacks of phones.
I've just booked a two-night break in Ipswich.
What do you plan to break there, pen?
The monotony and effort of working life, Softers.
Working life? Ah, yes. I can remember that.
Only another 17 years to go until retirement.
The first eight words in October? Really? Blimey.
Some of us are more active than others.
Is there a game for the naturally reticent?
Hidden textDon't answer, obviously.
It's would be the 'No Moves Necessary' game.
I'm busy with other things these days, alas.
Are you grandfathering a new generations of Crescenters?
Grandfathering is easy. I've seven at last count.
Yes, penelope. He's due to be born tomorrow.
Oh my word... back to the future, Grandad!
It's bleddy dark, innit folks? Not very keen.
Oh, there goes "No-Move-Ember". No-one tell you, pen?
[Tuj] I've got the golden ticket. You lose.
A small bonfire planned for tonight. Just because.
Do the clogs understand the Guy Fawkes fascination?
Nope. Most of them don't know about it..
Wingtips, loafers, and trainers, however, love it dearly!
Not to mention winkle-pickers, brothel-creepers, espadrilles and Jesus-boots!
That is quite a substantial list of footwear.
I can only wear one pair at once.
Why wear a pair, my dear old thing?
An odd pair makes me limp, old bean.
That's strange; it's alcohol that makes me limp.
Take the bottle out of your shoe, numpty.
I think limp was intended as an adjective.
Limp can be a noun, verb or adjective!
Whereas a limpet can only be a noun.
Meaning a small wet limp, isn't that so?
Nobody is playing AVMA. Have I upset them?
Happy New Year. Here Are Five More Words.
Ah, so you are still alive over there, Giertrud.
Anyone else alive? I'm suffering death by chocolate.
I'm alive, and undergoing death by condensed milk.
I'm alive and recovering from jet lag, slowly.
I overslept this morning. Got away with it.
Sirius was very bright over Thornton Heath tonight.
Stars over North Wessex Downs were stunning too.
And over Heijningen, but it was bloody nippy.
Surely the stars are indifferent to their audience.
Maybe so - but they look very different tonight.
Why is that? Have you been ingesting substances?
Rosie, yes, I am still alive--sometimes kicking!
Minus six at home this morning. Very invigorating.
You're made of tougher stuff, pen, warmer here.
I have single malt on my Weetabix, Softers.
What? And the sun not over the yardarm?
I think the sun has actually gone out.
Rainy Sunday. Bacon and egg sandwiches. That's all.
The Met Office are now naming Atlantic storms.
I'm naming my bad moods. This one's Aelfsige.
Rain, rain, rain. When will it ever stop?
I'm now part-owner of a 70-year old tractor.
Anything 70 years old should be scrapped forthwith.
My mother might rightly put up a fight.
They don't make them like that any more.
No, they're all diesels (diseasels, colloquially) these days.
Is it spring yet? Is it spring yet?
BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING!
Starts 1st March, pen. We shall have snow.
How prescient, Rosie. We had snow this morning.
Chicken, fish, four sides ... am so full now.
I must not indulge; I am already overweight.
But I can cook some really good food.
Oh yes, she can. I second that emotion.
I do not have my work head today.
Another Monday morning post, a month later. Pfft.
Woo, Wednesday afternoon, woo! ...woo, woo... woo... Twit.
This looks like the end for one of
the slowest games on record in the Morniverse.
Some things are really worth waiting for. Sometimes.
I think that I see what you mean.
I've got a mate who uses up-speak? Sad.
Imagine sometimes being age bracketed with millenials. Terrifying.
Less chance if you cultivate your grey hairs.
My cat was a millennial, born about 1990.
My millennial falcon was stolen by George Lucas.
Freddie Starr ate my hamster. No, wait, ummm...
It's Summer! It was Winter a moment ago.
(Raak) That's a pretty good definition of Spring.
True English people, nostalgically talking about the weather.
Nostaligic? It's happening right now! There's no waiting!
Spring again. Looks like Summer, feels like Winter.
Shurely not with the Cup Final coming up?
Summer starts on Mid-summers day. Finishes shortly afterwards.
I hope Mourinho cocks up at Man U.
I never wish ill on anyone. Except Trump.
One no trump, doubled, redoubled, went three down.
*waves tiredly from under a pile of marking*
We have had rather a good thunderstorm today.
And another one today (sic) and tomorrow's Thor's Day.
Glad to be of service, don't you know.
Too much pizza. Too much cake. Now sleepy.
Hummmph! European cup boredom has set in already.
Being of the Cambrian persuasion I profoundly disagree.
I didn't leave the house the whole weekend.
Too much pizza. Too much cake. Again? Yes!
Ooooh cake! I need coffee and walnut. NOW!
In fact, I think that's tonight's project. Yummy.
Don't leave that cake out in the rain.
I fear that this sentence will non sequitur.
Did anyone get solsticed overnight or this morning??
Is it Summer? Dense rain is hiding everything.
Well, that's it, the days are drawing in.
Thank goodness. Short nights are short of sleep.
When nights grow longer the heat grows stronger.
Longer days give more time to do things.
Finally out of hospital after hit-and-run...
Hidden textor if hit-and-run is one word: Finally out of hospital after hit-and-run got me.
There's a story behind that, mark my words.
I hope you are well and fully reassembled, Giertrud.
Well, that hot spell did not last long.
Was hot here yesterday - bought a new hammock.
Still sweltering in mad dogs and Englishmen weather.
I'm on hols. Forecast: three days' persistent rain.
Well, it is raining here if that counts.
Nineteen millimetres of rain have ruined my drought.
More rain in August than in July, already.
[Rosie] So sorry about your ruined drought. *snigger*
Radio Four long wave, Test Match Special, civilisation.
American niece arrived safely. Sent her to Amsterdam.
Why you sen' 'er Amsterdam? Wa' she done?
She wanted to see. Ate pancakes, drank beer.
Next week's over-hyped heatwave has been toned down.
I wish someone would tell the mosquitos. Ouch.
There's a full moon Thursday night. Take care.
I suggest you put your trousers back on.
Nobody will see anything - it will be cloudy.
Weather report Jersey: It is quite windy today.
Is your Jersey windproof? Mine has knitted holes.
Next Wednesday looks very hot (at the moment).
It was here, at any rate, old chum.
It was quite sweaty this Wednesday, 27 degrees.
Sweatier here, 29 degrees by all accounts.
We had 31 yesterday. I'm buying discounted sweaters.
28 here, which means I am a sweater.
Somewhat cooler today and windy too, by jingo.
Another 30 degrees today. Thunderstorms tomorrow, I hope.
3 Degrees now. Next up is The Supremes.
My baby love went completely pear-shaped, alas.
Eight words is insufficient for Morningtonesque prolixity, obviously.
People can look stupid in just in eight words.
Eight? Two!
Behold, the full moon beams down at us.
Is it now a waxing or waning sliver?
Silver should be scrubbed with Silvo, not waxed.
Wax would make the Lone Ranger slide off.
The clocks went back! The clocks went back!
What did they find when they got back?
[Rosie] They found there was no time left.
Poor clocks! Let's hear it for the Luddites.
Apparently Donald Trump's clock has two little hands.
We're out of time on that one. Next!
Critical mass of stupidity attained, implosion countdown started.
Where's the bloody Kryptonite when you need it?
Kryptonite? What I need is a crap tonight.
[Rosie] Just had eight days of the other.
I find a crossword helps. Number two down.
Italians no problem. Milan is on the Po.
I have been barred from my local. Hooray!
Is that because of your outspokenness then, Rosie?
That's one way to save money over Christmas.
(Softers) They cannot stand even mild web criticism.
(pen) Nah! There are plenty more agreeable places.
So you're looking for a 'yes' pub? Cheers!
(pen) Not difficult. A splendid one in Croydon.
It's bleddy dark, innit? When's the solstice then?
(pen) Wednesday at 10.44 UT. Gloom, glorious gloom.
Horrah! That means it will soon be Summer!
The sooner Summer comes, the sooner Winter follows.
Raak, that is really a very depressing truism.
The sooner Winter comes, the sooner Summer follows!
Which comes first - the winter or the summer?
Storm Barbara hits as we go to sea.
Ploughing the waves is a desperately wet affair.
And the furrows don't stay where they're ploughed.
I'm adding a comment here for no reason.
That statement defies its own logic, doesn't it?
I'm adding a currant here for no raisins.
Happy New Year!
And the same to you.
My keyboard is all smeared with coconut oil.
Not being naughty in the office, are we?
The painful truth; seasonal excema, defies cortisone cream. :o(
I have some coconut oil -- must try it.
Is it any good for trombone slide lubrication?
I find it stops my coconuts from chaffing.
[Rosie] You'll be playing all the Copacobana tunes.
I can only play The Girl From Ipanema.
But not The Boy From New York City?
I can do this screamer at half pace.
[Rosie] Go on then. Don't blow a gasket!
A nine millimetre snowdrift appeared outside my house. ?
Please keep me away from the news today.
pen, I've become a newsphobe since May's promotion.
(pen) Got any gaskets, then? There are limits.
I'm going back to bed and staying there.
Is this a form of hibernation, then, Superman?
Yes, it's the next step in human evolution.
My mouth has evolved into a cereal port.
How long can we possibly avoid the inevitable?
For as long as your toothache is bearable.
For as long as I still have teeth.
I haven't eaten cereal in about 6 months =(
Alas for [Tuj], the bears steal his porridge!
My local supermarkets have stopped selling Weetabix. Brexit!
Brexit? Well, f***s it up if nothing else.
Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday yay!
My opinion doesn't count. Probably best that way.
My opinion doesn't count. Probably best that way.
Friday pizza cake Friday pizza cake double yay!
Sunday afternoon. Wasted most of it asleep. Bugger.
Monday morning sunshine! Stuck in the office. Bugger.
Monday morning rain. Snug in the office. Smug.
Monday morning, retired, lazing at home, even smugger.
Aching shoulders, arms. But in a good way.
[Raak] Have you been lifting pretty ballerinas again?
[pen] Just beating on drums the whole day.
What goes with fried onions? A friend asks.
Liver. Sausages. Bacon. Black pudding. More fried onions.
Steak, hot dogs, more hot dogs. Damn. Hungry.
Your appetite appears insatiable, pen. Is this good?
[Rosie] Absolutely not. I'm a fat bloater, curses.
Never thought of you as a fish, pen.
The pen fish is mightier than the swordfish.
Nobody has made a comment for two weeks.
Except you. You broke the radio silence, Softers.
If we're very quiet, that might mend it.
Such an approach requires elimination of the flatulent.
pen, did I transgress in some obscure way?
Incoming! This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
[Bismarck] Your message may have a faulty fuse.
Don't touch it! It might still go off!
My wholemeal rolls have gone off, but quietly.
Longer life wholemeal. Kept cryogenically frozen, for ever.
They're not "off", they have a freshness difference.
I wouldn't try that approach with chicken nuggets.
Nor mussels, definitely not with mussels, oh, no.
My home-made chicken liver pate was off immediately.
And so was I. Anyone need a purge?
After Brexit, all communications will be reduced by
The early worm is caught by the bird.
Birds are sharp; especially their pointy little beaks.
The dawn chorus is in E flat major.
I didn't know the dickybirds played alto sax.
The birds outside my window play fowl music.
Ta-dum, ta-dum, ta-tee and I've forgotten the rest.
Not just the rest but the key change.
I'm not changing keys. Mine still open doors.
They won't open my back door - it's stuck.
Have you tried some sort of greasy lubricant?
Rosie, you didn't glue the front door, too?
(pen) It sags. Cheap 'n' nasty from B&Q (one word).
France apparently voted for a macaroon as president.
[Bismarck] Preferable to a biro that works underwater.
Brexit friends coming for the weekend. Shit fuck.
That's the "entertainment" you're putting on, pen?
The Eurovision Song Contest has been and gone.
Has it? I did not really notice it.
It's been chucking it down here all day.
Muggy but dry here. It was 30c yesterday.
Oh the joy of the decaffeinated vole dance!
The caffeine content of voles is quite remarkable.
Makes them jump over composers. Vole Over Beethoven!
*fixes a vole where the rain gets in*
Italian voles can fly, caffeinated or otherwise. Volare!.
Fixing a vole? Isn't that by The Beatles?
Revolver is by the Beatles. I remember it.
Volvic. Ideal for voles with a blocked nose.
Volvo. Ideal for transporting large numbers of rodents.
Evolution, or the development of Vole mark 2.
Voluntary. To ask the vole to hurry up.
Alcovolism, a terrible trend among the gnawing youth.
Voles never need to wear spectacles — nolens volens.
Is it the weekend yet? How much longer?
A couple of days need to go by.
I wonder if voles look forward to weekends?
Most voles support Sunderland, so I doubt it.
The vole weekend runs from November to March.
This proves that voles are of Australian origin.
Hot. Rug under shady tree, watermelon. No voles.
Hot rug. Under shadytree? Water me lonno voles.
Watermelons can swing like mad. Just get this.
So do cement mixers; a favourite of Pater's.
Compared with that, my playing is crap, alas.
My playing is like a cement mixer's, alas.
I can play the cement mixer - musique concrete.
He who pays the builder, calls the tune.
Music for plumbers. Sounds ideal for tap dancing.
There was once a group called The Scaffold.
Didn't they hymn the virtues of capital punishment?
You want to get ahead? Get a guillotine.
Are pesky seabirds annoying you? Get a gullotine.
Is the guillemot a seabird which headed off?
Guillotine motion in the Commons: A good idea!
Whose head shall roll? Such a wonderful choice.
Head rolls? I prefer bacon butties, sans ketchup.
You are teasing my taste buds now, pen.
Friday. FRIDAY! Do you know what that means?
Your devices are buggered, yesterday being THOR's day,
But today is Wednesday, and it's nearly lunch.
...Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack; Thursday never looking back...
Your British Friday comes before our American Friday.
American fry day means we eat French fries.
Chunky chips or French fries? Which is better?
Mmmm. A tough choice. Can I have both?
Mayonnaise, ketchup, brown sauce or salt and vinegar?
It's Saturday, I'm on hols and I'm working.
Is not all of life, the great work?
"My heart is in the work", said Carnegie.
"My work is in the heart". (Christiaan Barnard).
Ergo, the work equals the groove (Deee-lite, Bootsy).
"Heart is work and work is heart." (Physics)
That would be the first law of thermodynamics,
At the third beep, it will be Friday.
I hear no beep; this man is mad.
I am as sane as the next man!
As far as I know, he's mad too.
Mad people are simply those you don't know.
Friends are the ones who share your madness.
Close friends are the ones who cause it.
Another rainy Saturday. This really isn't good enough.
Rain, rain, go away, come again on Sunday.
[Superman] Your fault the Southern Vipers lost today?!
Another Wembley victory for My Lot, I crow.
That makes you one of those London Welsh?
Currently I'm eating bangers and chips... crazy huh?
Currently I'm eating bangers and chips... crazy huh?
Two plates and bangers and chips please, waiter.
Will madame take the Lincolnshire or the Cumberland?
[Bis] The lesser of two evils, or wurst.
[pen] Shouldn't that be comparative and not superlative?
Pay day and wedding anniversary. My cup overflows.
But husband had a dental mauling this morning.
(Superman) Yes, but a Chelsea supporter for sixty years.
(Giertrud) Clearly those sausages are repeating on you.
I don't know why that line posted twice!
Today is the day. Tonight is the night.
(Busmarck) Are you on a promise or something?
Deadline day Announcement: Chelsea did not sign Bismarck.
Football schmootball. It's autumn! Best time of year.
It's Friday again. That went very quickly.
Tuesday special: Peas, grilled mackerel and baked potatoes.
I should probably go grab my epi-pen, then.
No Friday message from pen - is something wrong?
Friday's message is approximately three days late. Soz.
Maybe you could do a few in advance?
Will we have to retreat after we advance?
Bees breeze May's maze before beef awes me.
Two weeks have passed. Doesn't time fly when...
...you are trying to find eight words that...
...express succinctly, yet clearly, that which you wish...
... were true, but owing to the lamentable state ....
...of things, coupled with self-imposed octo-verbal asceticism, only...
...serve...
lunches between 12 and 2, teas from five.
Phew, that was quite a long eight word ...
peregrination through the farther reaches of le huitisme.
Shurely le huitisme must include the friendly octopus.
I have not worn my surgical stockings today.
My second-best truss is on the writing table.
Thanks for your support. I'll always wear it.
So who wore your surgical stockings today, Tuj?
Not me. I just word nylons and suspenders.
Does The Morniverse really need a pantomime dame?
…I feel like everyone is looking at me.
Oh no they're not! He's behind you!
My attention has been diverted by a leopard.
Can't be me...my fursona is a skunk.
Speaking of which, how is Projoy these days?
Alive, AFAIK. Posts occasionally.
He's alive and well. We tweeted last night.
Is that what it's called these days, then.
[Rosie] I suppose so. *Tweets regularly and often*
Bloody Christmas muzak in all the shops already.
I wish it couldn't be Christmas every day.
"Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'?" Cheeses, no.
Well, now I want to change the subject.
I don't like losing my voice, at all.
I've looked everywhere and can't find it, KagomeShuko.
Look! There it is! Go stop it, quickly!
It turned out to be only an echo.
to be only an echo. only an echo.
If only Monday was an echo of Saturday.
You can say that again, pen. Bloody traffic!
Decent covering of snow this morning. Now thaw.
(pen) Same here in the Elevated Surrey Desert.
House tidy, presents wrapped. Shame we'll be away.
Too late for any more Xmas shopping now.
Merry Christmas. Hanukkah's been over for a while.
Too many mince pies. I'm farting currants now.
This can only mean they pass through unchanged.
This is metaphorical of an esoteric spiritual truth.
I’ve had enough of unchanged raisins. Long story.
Today's positive: It's actually a sunny Monday morning.
The sun dazzled me whilst driving to hospital.
And yesterday was a sunny beaut. Today's glum.
The sun has got its hat on today.
The moon, though, is happy to parade starkers.
It is Mardi Gras season here in Louisiana.
All these days that turn into seasons... Sigh...
My car's MOT repairs will cost a mint.
I wonder if you drive a Volkswagen Polo?
Moving slowly in a high-speed train through France.
That’s quite some achievement. A real brake through.
Three inches of snow was all it took, Pen.
French snow falls in centimetres not inches, innit?
We're expecting snow this afternoon. Three centimentres, misschien
Meeting with lunch soon. Lunch yay! Meeting yuk...
Have we run out of eight word sentences?
[Boolbar] It doesn't matter. There are other ways.
Like two of four. That's the terse version.
Four of two, though, is taking the piss.
Is it? Should I? Best not. Bye now!
Extremes? Visited. Regrets? Pending. Steam? Out. Um. Of.
Watching University Challenge completely undermines my self-esteem.
I find Only Connect has the same effect.
For me it's just being alive! Oh well.
That's why I watch them when I'm ironing.
Tidily folded things means a small achievement achieved.
Clothes origami is more fun than it sounds.
Clothes origami is less fun than it sounds.
I was quick at origami. Like creased lightning.
Plenty ackers. Origami backwards is "I'm a giro".
I’m sitting in the car outside the windmill.
Memo to pen - next windmill with a garage.
I've just finished a 120-hour working fortnight. Ouch.
Not as painful as so many hours of job searching.
Don’t chop chillies and then poke your eye.
Nor peel potatoes and lacerate your finger.
Likewise, grated carrots should not be stained red...
Carrots never used to be orange in color.
So, I wonder, what colour were they, then?
Black and White, as was everything until 1936.
I think the colour palette also included sepia.
Nah, stuff just went brown with age, surely?
I wish that were true of my beard.
Odd. My hair greys but my beard blackens.
Pigment drains downwards. (Nobody look at their feet!)
Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.
Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz. Innit.
I am jolly vexed with Scrabble rack NPFQUZG.
[Boolbar] Pug? Fun? Gun? Fug? Pun? Up? Gnu?
"Permanence" comprises all the eight principles of Yong.
I somehow think Boolbar was taking the piss.
There are over 300 American people named "Abcde".
I'd like to know how they pronounce that.
"Absidy" - Dave Gorman did a thing about it.
Ho! What news from Brecknock this fine morn?
I am up way too late, once again.
I woke early. Still managed to be late.
Americans say "It's five o'clock somewhere..." (then drink).
Seussical, Jr. was my local entertainment last night.
I woke up today full of Joyce's offspring.
Is it lunchtime yet? I'm flipping starving, mate.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Nine.
You've been promoted from Graf to Count? Congrats.
Four day week then a week off. Spiffing.
Working in the Lake District this week. Bliss.
I sweat like a pig in this weather
I went to work. Unexpected holiday. Came home.
I should be writing a paper for class.
[KagomeShuko] Write it in eight word chunks, maybe?
Unexpected holiday? Does not compute. 'Highly anticipated', shurly?
Another eight words for today. Here you go.
Has anyone here ever actually been to Bal-ham?
Gateway to the south where the honey's off?
The very place. There's a jazz pub there.
I've been to the city of Nashville, Tennessee.
And the next line of your song is ...?
A quiet week. Is nobody outraged at anything?
I reckon "Outrage fatigue" might be a thing...
I've been angry for two years and counting.
What were you before two years ago, pen?
An EU citizen with guaranteed freedom of movement.
(pen) We, by contrast, wear the Brexit straitjacket.
Brexit? Just don't get me started on that!
Steady Softers. I'm two years angry and counting.
What magic potion shall pacify thy troubled soul?
[Rosie] I'll have a gin and tonic, thanks.
I'm writing 20 Tweets. For work. Not fun.
I'm enjoying my new job - even the commute!
[Simons] You sound surprised! What are you doing?
[Pen] Technical writing, and surprised by the commute part.
[Simons] Describe the commute! You have eight words...
Two one-hour train journeys, relaxing, looking at trees.
Apologies for shouting - my bolding habit's rather ingrained.
We all get bolder with age. Nowt new.
A day of respite from the heat wave!
No respite from the canonisation of Gareth Southgate.
I wasn't expecting football to come home, TBH.
Football is not in favour of Brexit, obvs.
Who else is not going home anytime soon?
Well, for one there's the Spirit Mars rover.
Anyone having anything really interesting for lunch today?
Ostrich and walnut salad with a mint dressing.
My lawn has turned to concrete and straw.
Spotted it!!!

Wait. Wrong game; sorry.

As you were.
[CdM] The Bird awaits its game creation on OrangeMC.
They're summarizing films as limericks over on Reddit.
Meteorological records OK but it makes me knackered.
Awestruck ostrich. I like the sound of that.
Awesome sandwich. I like the sound of that.
Things are not as they seem, said I.
Maybe you are under the influence of substances.
There certainly seem to be some substantial influences...
I had an awesome cheesesteak the other day.
Thank goodness for the fact that interjections exist.
Are the influential influences influenced by influential fluids?
Why on earth do people buy bottled water?
For the free reusable bottle it comes with.
The tap water in Lake Charles tastes gross.
Tap water and you will make some ripples.
Was that an underwater tap for drinking from?
Hmmmm. More Brexit bollocks from Boris Johnson's pen.
There's no business like show business, except Brexit.
I haven't turned on my central heating yet.
I don't want to arouse my central heating!
*filth alert* Mine arouses itself. It's a bit of a wanker.
Mine arouses itself. It's a bit of a wanker.
Er, ignore the last entry.
Ignorance is bliss, or so they do say.
Fortunately, I have never heard that phrase before.
It's just a phrase I am going through.
But is bliss just a form of ignorance?
In the duty-free at Folkestone - the Chanel Tunnel...
Mmmm. Duty free? Are you in the future?
Duty-free was never abolished in the European Union.
Mmmm. Duty free? Are you in the future?
In the duty-free at Folkestone - the Chanel Tunnel...
But is bliss just a form of ignorance?
Certainly not - I know full well I'm pissed.
Well, now it's November, winter does draw on.
November? Already? It will soon be Summer again.
I wish you all a winter of content.
The government is collapsing all around us today.
The Prime Minister is lost in the Mayhem.
Rats that can't swim leaving the sinking ship?
Are Harry and Meghan's children the Brown Windsors?
May kicks the can down the road again.
Are we ever going to see pen again?
[Rosie] when she gets some Dutch courage maybe.
I suspect she contributed to the Almanac.
Please add a word of your choice, above.
acerbically
Foggy here and flights disrupted. I fly tomorrow :(
Indigestion. Rennies, orange flavour. All much better now.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Yamato! Taiko! Bang! Bang!
Is this a reference to your percussive abilities?
I was at a taiko concert on Saturday.
Brexit sounds like a breakfast cereal to me.
It sounds like a total disaster to me
Election's over - welcome to a brave new world.
Well, another month has passed without further comment.
Don't disturb us, we're aestivating. Takes effort, that.
Hello all. Long time no see. How's everyone?
Hi pen, we were pining for the windmills...
How can you mix up windmills and fjords?
Mrs Jowls did Finland. That is one way.
Pine. Pine, pine, pine, pine. Your turn now.
More likely to be clogging up the fjords...
I'd like a Norwegian car. A Fjord Escort...
Is that a spin off from the Hillman?
The Humber might have been a fjord once.
The Humber Super Snipe was a Ford once.
The Humber Snipe was delicious.
As a result, I have to do something with eleven words.
Shall we go back to the eight now?
Indeed, we should accord this game proper dignity.
Why not take a bath with a squid?
Excellent idea - someone pass the bath salts please.
Which clever clogs is hiding the bath pepper?
Not me. I do have the Bath buns.
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