mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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The 27th one

Everybody ate lots of turkey

And learned how to write Glowworms

I wish I could knit sweaters

Or even crochet scarves

My bottom might not be so cold

I'll not do things by halves

This trend for shortening player's names

Deserves a special mensh

It makes me an Egyptian god

But I am still a wench.

I feel like I'm a little Greek

Mine suits my occupation

This looks much more malible

But I'm just a negation

Run down and slightly suspect

And suffering with acid

I'm not in my element

And not much good when flassid

I wish I were in Lapland

With Santa and his reindeer

I'd take a curing water bath SO looking forward to the rhyme match on the last line ...

To get rid of this pain, dear

It seems quite elemental

To measure stuff by hand

But in case of more precision

Use a rubber band!

For a pet, I want a unicorn

A griffon or centaur

I shun such things as pussy cats

They leave me wanting more

I wish I were a shovel

In a brawny stoker's hand

Feeding hungry furnaces

Ah! Wouldn't life be grand!

I wish I were a Christmas pud too early?

Made by Blumenthal

Maybe I'd taste really good

If made in the fall!

It seems the snow has cleared at last

Or turnèd into slush

Both arms, one leg in plaster cast

Take heed: on ice don't rush!

The honeymoon is at an end

A split is on the cards

He caught her in the bellboy's arms

Drinking pints and yards Nice pub, the Bellboy's

It seems we never take a break

From standing on our feet

Except when we are lying down

Felled by the icy street

I wish I were an asteroid

Careering round in space

Waiting to be named after

One of the human race

I wish I were a reindeer

I'd rein in all the deer

I'd put vermilion on their snouts

And a tail-light on their rear.

I wish that I had Santa's sack

Full of Christmas goodies

I'd give those reindeer all a smack bah humbug

Like ASBO-worthy hoodies.

I'm flippin' sick of Christmas

How sick? That's so polite!

I've upchucked all my cookies

On Giertrud - out of spite

I wish I were a bottle

Of moonshine or poteen

I'd upchuck all my stomach contents

And turn dear Spangle green.

Hidden text

Revenge, sweet revenge.

It's now two-oh-eleven

You had said half-past-eight

On this stairway to heaven

I hate it when you're late.

I wish I were a blowlamp

With a single fiery eye.

Whate'er I looked at would burn up

And in-stan-tally die.

I forgot to wear my underwear

Commando by default

Mercy killing I'm hopeless and I'm childish
A clueless simple dolt

I cannot make the meeting

I'm running rather late

Leaves on the line at Coulsden

Have really clogged the gate.

They say we must work harder

But won't pay a penny more

I've got an empty larder

And rats upon the floor
I only wish the bosses

Could live on crumbs and gruel

This may well cut their losses

Or just shareholders fool

I'd rather be in Timbucktu

Unearthing ancient books

Rather than be a sous chef

One of too many cooks

I say! This broth is spoiled

Waiter, can you catch this fly?

Don't worry, sir, it's boiled

Never mind, I'll take the pie

A Broadway play on tour

Performed by English men

Arrived in Pascagoula

Then quickly left again

This crossword is too cryptic

It would take a cipher whiz

Or that bloke that's down the pub

Who always wins the quiz

This rumpsteak is too chewy

It's made from kangaroo

It's served à la chop suey

Quickly, where's the loo? [Spangle] just what I had in mind

I wish I were a satnav Trad.

Signaled by GPS

I'd have you drive right through a lake

and make you a big mess.

I've ne're time to play this game

For that we're truly pleased

So this line isn't really here

It's just something I sneezed

laughs out loud

I wish I were a sewer rat

Just lolling in the muck

To live in filth is de rigeur

If fragrant you're a schmuck
mercy killing - ain't it curious how some of these little ditties just take off and others hang around like a smell on a landing ..

I wish I were a landing smell yeah... oblig.

Pervading everywhere

My sulphuretted compounds

Would announce Kilroy was there.

I wish I were a poultergeist

A ghost of chickens past

I'd just pull off my drumsticks

Then headlessly run fast

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