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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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Slender, tall, aloof
She eats raw fish for breakfast
While standing on the roof
My love is like a tower crane
She stands so tall and strong
Lifting bricks to dizzy heights
As she does my dong. lovely girl
My love is quite the ding dong bell (belle?)
She says I sound her chimes
We make love in the steeple
Countless, sinless times
Comme haut arbre est mon amour
Ca me paraît sans fin
Et moi, j'n'suis que minuscule
J'ai une pine, hélas, pas un pin.
Mein Liebling ist eine heftige Frau
Who doesn't speak the lingo
But underneath her monobrow
She thinks of naught but bingo.
My chair is made of plasticine
It moulds to my own shape
But when my cat sits on it
It acts like sticky-tape
My other chair's a Chippendale
With strong and shapely arms
It stoutly holds my nether end
While I display my charms
I sit in this ejector seat
Thanking heavens my hair is all neat
have we slipped mode?
Well, just for one ode
Back to normal when this is complete
The normal service is resumed
And nights feels most ashamed
That deed must never be exhumed
And no-one will be blamed
I sit in this ejector seat
With my finger poised over 'Re-Tweet'
(pen) Whyjer do that?
Because I have flu and my brain isn't working properly... sorry. Try again...
I sit in this ejector seat
And press the big red button
Alas, I'm in a 'copter
Over Carshalton and Sutton
I wish I were a beer mat (Chalky) :-)
Soaking-up real ale
But sadly I'm a meerkat [Rosie] ;-)
Deserted, full of fail
I wish that on the internet
I'd find just one true thing
Bat sadly there is Google
And, even worse, there's Bing
I wish I were the Christmas elf [Phil] the exact line I had envisaged ;o)
Who loads old Santa's sled
For after working all day long
I get ou' me 'ead.
I wish my Christmas stocking
Were twenty-four feet long
For holding my gift ladder
And the cast of 'Desert Song'
I wish I spoke Italian
Just like old Silvio
Coz the translation for 'stallion'
Is 'Sly Stallone' dontcha know Kapow.
I wish I were a snowflake
All flaky, frigid, cold
But I would be so delicate
I'd crumble, truth be told.
I wish I was a skater I've never seen the Dutch get so excited about anything so much as the prospect of canal skating at the weekend. Looking less likely now, though
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